Book Titles: R-S

Ragtime - Doctorow, E.L.
Rainbow Boys - Sanchez, Alex
Rape Fantasies from The Norton Anthology - Atwood, Margaret
Rats Saw God - Thomas, Rob
River God - Smith, Wilbur
Running Loose - Crutcher, Chris
Sari Says, The REAL DIRT on Everything from Sex to School
Shattering Glass - Giles, Gail
Shogun - Clavell, James
Silver Pigs - Lindsey, Davis
Simply Alice - Naylor, Phyllis Reynolds
Slaughterhouse Five - Vonnegut, Kurt
Slave Day - Thomas, Rob
Smack - Burgess, Melvin
Snow falling on cedars - Guterson, David
Song of Solomon - Morrison, Toni
Sophie’s World - Gaarder, Jostein
Speak - Anderson, Laurie Halse
Stones from the River - Hegi, Ursula
Stotan - Crutcher, Chris
Stuck Rubber Baby - Cruse, Howard

NOTE: TITLES beginning with 'The' are under T


Click here for Books A-G

Click here for Books H-L

Click here for Books M-P

Click here for Books T-The H

Click here for Books The I-Z

"Ragtime"

Doctorow, E.L.
Penguin Books
Paperback, approx. 300 pages
Copyright 1974, 1975

- “..he came to her room in the darkness. ..Mother shut her eyes and held her hands over her ears. Sweat from Father’s chin fell on her breasts.”

- “..immigrants.. were filthy and illiterate. They stank of fish and garlic. They had running sores. They had no honor... stole.. drank.. raped their own daughters.. killed each other casually.”

- “He.. add[ed] a dollar more than she deserved. ..explained it was because she was such a good looking woman. ..smiled.. touched her breast..[she] fled taking he dollar. ..happened [again].. became accustomed to the hands of her employer.. with 2 weeks rent due she let the man have his way on a cutting table. he kissed her face and tasted the salt of her tears.”

- “..pulled off her robe, threw her across the bed and applied a dog whip to her buttocks and the back of her thighs. her shrieks echoed.. The German servants.. listened, grew flushed, opened bottles.. and copulated. Shocking red welts disfigured E.’s flesh. She cried and whimpered all night. ..[he] returned to her room, this time with a razor strop. She was bedridden for weeks. During her convalescence.. He was gentle when he made love to her and mindful of the tender places. [She goes home to America and tells S. what happened].. showed him the traces of a laceration across the flesh inside of her right thigh... He kissed the spot. She showed him a tiny yellow and purple discoloration on.. her left buttock where it curved toward the cleft. How awful [he said]. he kissed the spot.”

- “..he demanded proof of her devotion and it turned out nothing else would do but a fellatio. Abutted by T.’s belly E.’s broad-rimmed hat.. slowly tore away from her coiffure.”

- “.prisoner came to the front of his cell and raising his arms in a shockingly obscene manner he thrust his hips forward and flapped his penis between the bars.”

- “..shot the bastard 3 times... that bastard.. survived

- “Are you wearing a corset [she].. asked. E. nodded... G... unbuttoned [E.’s] shirtwaist and removed it.. unclasped E.’s skirt and had her step out of it.. removed [her petticoat]... loosen[ed] [the corset].. step out, she said... slid E.’s lace-trimmed underdrawers to her feet. Step out she commanded. E. did so... stood nude.. except for her.. stockings... G. rolled the stockings down and E. stepped out... Lie down.. on your stomach.. G. rubbed E.’s back and buttocks and thighs. E. was squirming and her flesh cringing with each application [of the astringent]... shivering now and her buttocks were clenched together.. G. now took from her bag a bottle of massage oil and began to knead... Turn over G. commanded... G. massaged her breasts, her stomach, her legs. Yes, even this, .. briskly passing her hand over her mons... E. put her own hands on her breasts and her palms rotated the nipples.. she rubbed her hips. Her feet pointed like a dancer’s and her toes curled. Her pelvis rose from the bed.. began to ripple on the bed like a wave on the sea.. hoarse unearthly cry.. closet door flew open and Mother’s Younger Brother fell into the room, his face twisted in.. saintly mortification.. clutching in his hands, as if trying to choke it, a rampant penis which... whipped him about the floor, launching to his cries of ecstasy or despair, great filamented spurts of jism that traced the air like bullets and then settled slowly over E. in her bed like falling ticker tape.”

- “The eskimo families lived all over the ship.. were not discreet in their intercourse.. cohabited without even undressing, through vents in their furs, and they went at it with grunts and shouts of fierce joy... came upon a couple.. thrusting her hips upwards to the thrusts of her husband.. animal song came from her throat.. woman was actually pushing back.. This filthy toothless eskimo woman.. singing her song and pushing back. He thought of Mother’s fastidiousness, her grooming and her intelligence, and found himself resenting this primitive woman’s claim to the gender.”

- “He was a lusty old fuck..”

- “..clasped with loe and gratitude the foul body, like a stinking fish, of an Eskimo woman. he had put his body into the stinking fish.”

- “..up shits creek.”

- “Do you know any coon songs?.. did not intend to be rude.. coon songs was what they were called.. Coon songs are made for minstrel shows..”

- “..learned where to find women who would go bed with him for a modest price... Or he would not attempt to make love but only inspect her intimate places.”

- “..in the back seat was a mound of fresh human excrement. ...nigger parked his damn car in the middle of the road... had to move it... no real damage. Scrape off the shit and forget the whole thing.”

- “..keeping his bastard child... damnable nigger pride..”

- “clean all the niggers out once and for all.’

- “..nigger..” “niggers” “..take care of that son of a bitch... cut off his balls.. every nigger in the country at your throat” ”..can’t give in to the coon... Goddamnit.. son of a bitch... giving in to a nigger.” “coon”

- “..fuck you..”

- On Fairfax County Public Schools Summer 2001 Suggested Reading List For Rising Eleventh and Twelfth Graders

___________________________________________________

"Rainbow Boys"

Sanchez, Alex
Simon & Schuster
Copyright 2001

-Book is about 3 gay high school boys, N is already out, but [from jacket] “can’t tell the boy he loves..”, J [from jacket] “is a jock with a steady girlfriend, but he can’t stop dreaming about sex with other guys.” K [from jacket] “doesn’t look gay, but he is.” The back jacket in words from Patricia Nell Warren [author of the Front Runner] says, “Rainbow Boys may do for high-schoolers what Heather Has Two Mommies did for grade-schoolers...”

- Cover of book has the “o” in rainbow and the “o” in boys each done as male symbols with one of them as an “O->” overlapping the other male symbol from behind. This is not a surprise gay book. A quick look at the cover and front and back jacket makes it clear what the book is about.

- Page 1, line 4, 'shit'. Shit/shitty, used about 3 dozen times in the book.

- Page 2 & 3, J keeps phoning the Rainbow Youth Hot Line but doesn’t want to go to the meeting. He didn’t want to “sit in a room full of queers He pictured them all looking like the school fag. N. ..He had a girlfriend... loved [her]... given her a ring. They had sex. How could he be gay?.. from her jeans pocket she pulled a condom.. that night he made it with her--a girl.... Sometimes they borrowed.. [a] van, other times they made love in her parents’ basement... So why’d he .. have these dreams of naked men... intense.. woke him and left him in a sweat.. Maybe it had to do with what happened that time with Tommy and how his dad had caught them. But that [was] years ago, when he was 10... [now almost 18].”

-Goes to rainbow meeting: “Only a few guys looked as faggy as N... the 2 girls were all over each other. Both were pretty-not his idea of dykes.... should get [her] telephone number, he thought.. probably just confused, like him.” Topic discussed at meeting was ‘coming out’. Boy says it was “first time you do it... with someone your own sex... [N says] that’s when you come. Not come out.” Topic turns to bisexual. Thinks that might be what he is and he didn’t have to stop going out with his girlfriend... [N gives J button] J... looked at the button the little fag had given him. It read: NOBODY KNOWS I’M GAY.”

-N says “[my mom] knew before I did. I’m her fucking cause... K [said] he had a crush on a boy at school.. kissed his pillow at night pretending it was him. [tells N who] Gay-dar! gay-dar! Closet case. Big time. At least bi.”

-“His mind drifted to images of J in the locker room... his biceps bulging... butt framed by his jockstrap... wrapped his arms around his pillow..”

-“..sorry for the 1000th fucking time.”

-“how the fuck should I know?”

-“T.C.J. tragic closet jock. Budding homo.”

-“Hey faggot! [said JR], school asshole... last year he and his thugs cornered N in the boy’s restroom, kicked him down, and shoved his face into the toilet.”

-“Afraid I’ll tell his [girl] sweetheart he’s a cocksucker.”

-J asks his girlfriend if she ever thought about “doing it with another girl? [she thinks he means something else and says] No! Why does the thought of 2 girls always turn you guys on?... he knew she wanted to fool around.. one of the nice things about her... felt sorry for his friends who had to coax... just to get a little squeeze.. J wanted to fool around too...[would] prove once again he wasn’t queer... As usual.. would kiss for.. 15 minutes.. slip his hand into her blouse, and she would remove her bra. Her breathing in short little bursts.. would slide his hand into her pants... Once she began to moan, he knew she was ready for him.. routine didn’t work tonight.. [he thought of N].. Did I do something wrong [she asked].. tired of this routine.. Why do I always have to make the moves? [she] laughed.. cause I’m the girl. Would you rather have sex with a guy?.... How about we try something different?.. She slid his fingers into her mouth and rolled her tongue around them, between them, making them wet... was she about to do what he thought?.. her kisses moved down his torso as she unbuttoned her shirt,.. unfastened his belt. Although they’d had sex dozens of times, she never done this.. Too one-sided she’d protested. Her head was in his lap... making him.. wild with excitement.. ran his fingers through her hair.. suddenly it was no longer [her] but [him] K, her red hair transformed into K’s cap... J tried to stop himself but couldn’t . Too late. It was over... slowly regained his breath... He’d wanted to have sex with his girl to feel better [but] thought about another boy while his girl.. [she] brought her head up from his lap and laid it on his chest.... he needed to talk to someone about his queer confusion... If J ever made it with another guy-not that he ever would... but if he did, it would be with someone normal, like K.”

-“Everyone suspected [the teacher] was gay.. Once [a student had asked her] are you lesbian... she fired back, are you?”

-“Your best friends the school fagola... hey faggots.. Why do you hang out with this.. faggot? ..knocked K’s cap off.. You queer too?.. let me go, asshole.. I said, you queer too?..[teacher intervenes] Shit!.. Fucking assholes!”

-K and N start up GSA club. They are working on application: “Purpose of the group? To meet cute, sexy boys... J.F.K... Just fucking kidding. Loosen up.”

-“You know I have a girlfriend. I mean we have sex and everything.”

-“B.F.D.... he wasn’t in love with K. .. K was a dickhead in love with a.. jerk.”

-“[she] is applying to Smith.. supposed to have an incredible lesbian community.”

-“He.. looked at himself in K’s mirror, stroking his curls... remembered the [gay porno mag] and pulled it out... look what I got [K].. fixed his attention on the photos. Wow!... I’m getting hard... I always get hard looking at men. How about you?.. pulled his shirt over his head. What do you think of my body?”

-“When you jack off, who do you think of?.. don’t know... guys in magazines... J... [N says to K] Do you ever think of me?.. I’m gay. I like guys’ bodies. he returned his attention to the [gay porno mag]... He was definitely horny... if you like guys’ bodies... maybe we should try it sometime.... he saw K sneak a hand into his crotch and rearrange his underwear... [N leaves gay porno mag with K].. dropped [it] into his nightstand.”

-At homecoming: “J felt the buzz from the vodka.. they’d drunk in the parking lot.. [girl says to J’s girlfriend] That bitch. You should have won.. [she says].. don’t care.. gonna drink, f like a bunny [leaning against J]”

-“..been wanting to take this [tie] fucking thing off all night... no desire for her. 2 weeks.. since.. they had sex.. wondered if he should even try.. touching her would rev him up.. unzipped.. her dress.. She peel[ing] off her bra.. “

-“The Butthole Surfers?.. No way! that’s their name?... I like it... Who.. thought that 1 day he’d have a gay guy over and together they’d listen to... the Butthole Surfers?”

-“[K] could still smell [J’s] cologne... pressed his wrists.. against his nose, taking in the rich J aroma... thumbed through dog-eared pictures of J and felt himself swell up.. found the [gay porno mag] N had given him... turned the pages.. guy.. draped naked over a car.. [fell] asleep.” In the morning his mom is in his room stroking his hair and she spots and picks up the gay porn mag and asks what it is. They agree to talk after school.

-“His mom and he never talked about [sex]... embarrassed him.. Coming out to her meant admitting he longed to make love to a guy..”

-“Fuck losing weight... maybe I should invite him to my house. What would I say? Tell him you want to suck his dick... I want to be his friend. I want to get to know him. So? Get to know him and then suck his dick.”

-“..watched.. comedy about 2 guys.. who wanted to have sex with each other but couldn’t find a private place... He’s confused about being queer.. expects you to come on to him... help him get in touch with his inner queen... N pulled a [gay porno mag] from his dresser. Want to see [it]?.. [N’s dog] started to hump [K’s] leg... J’s got competition [N says].. the sex scenes in the video, the naked men in the magazine, and watching K roll around on the carpet had worked [N] up.. Aren’t you dying to find out what sex is like.. how about if we practice?.. making out.. can’t kiss you.. would feel like kissing my sister. So I have tits and a pussy now?.. began smacking kisses on K’s neck... wrestled.. N rose up to kiss K on the mouth.. [K hits N on chin in accident] N, your my best friend. I don’t feel that way about you. Fuck you! [N says]”

-J’s dad talking to J’s mom: “You forgot my beer? I didn’t forget.. not buying you anymore... I’ll get my own... You shouldn’t drive.. wouldn’t have to if you’d brought my beer.. stormed out of the kitchen.. front door slammed, shaking the house.”

-“[J asks K] Did you ever have a girlfriend... You never wanted to.. do it with a girl? No.. I’m a Kinsey 6.. what? A Kinsey 6... I’m at the end of the scale.”

-“K raised his arm.. brushing J’s skin.. [J thought] What if he did hold K’s hand.. Slowly.. fingers.. all intertwined.. climax of his life.. ready to die happy.. K’s eyes were bright and yearning, his mouth slack, his lips glistening.. J wanted to kiss him.. could practically taste K’s sweet, buttery breath, feel the tenderness of K’s lips... man was walking up the [theater] aisle. Shit!.. sat up.. yanked his [hand away].. What would it feel like to kiss him? [J thought that night before he fell asleep].”

-“..beer bottle flew out [of truck] window [at them].”

-“Read my lips: J is queer. And he’s stuck on you.. He’s just confused. He has a girlfriend. No, you, girlfriend are the one who is confused... you’re afraid I’m going to be jealous.”

-“HotLove69 [screen name].. Who is that? [his friend asked]. N rushed over... Uh.. he’s a guy. He often chatted with guys on-line..”

-At rainbow club meeting: “N... [looked at] Blake... his thick biceps nearly burst his shirt apart. his jeans hugged his butt. N was thinking how he would give anything to get into those pants when Blake noticed him looking and smiled. [small talk] Sorry to hear about you and Dane [N said] Sympathetic. Caring. Horny... You guys were.. a model for the rest of us.. we came out together.. were each other’s firsts.. hard breaking up... with your first love... the first time you have sex with someone it’s special.. [N, scared to admit he was a virgin thought he’d be glad for Blake to be his first]. I need a drink, Blake whispered... rum in my car.. want some?.. poured rum into coke.. passed bottle to N.. burned as it slid down to his stomach.. drank some more.. felt great.. relaxed.. Blake pulled his face close... felt the tongue of another guy... unzipped N’s jacket.. slipped his fingers inside... hands had somehow gotten into his pants... Would Blake think he was too small?.. certainly didn’t stop him from doing what he was doing.. felt ready to explode... Blake retracted his hand.. leaned back into his seat and grinned expectantly.. guiding his hand.. tried to unbuckle [his] belt... tugged open [his] zipper. Blake laid a hand behind N’s neck.. directing his head down... rich, musky smell wafted up.. [N thought] what about a condom?.. oral sex not highest risk for HIV... but.. still risk.. gearshift jabbed... head bumped steering wheel.. horn blared.. Shit! [When asked N tells Blake he is a virgin, they stop].. you don’t want.. first time to be in some car [Blake says] Why not? [N says] find someone special.. Blake was special.. hunkiest guy in the group. Everyone wanted to do him.. bummer to finally get the chance to have wild sex-with the hottest guy.. and be disqualified..[on way back inside N] tripped over a sprinkler head and fell... Fuck!.. on the ride home he...[thought] about K losing his virginity with J-instead of him”

- J tells his girlfriend he thinks he’s bisexual. Big fight:”.. What about the times we made love?.. How dare you tell me you suddenly think you like guys.. I always have... you lied to me.. I hate you!.. pummeling his chest.. You.. faggot.. You put on a great act.”

- J’s dad: “..door burst open.. turn that off.. ripped out the [stereo] plug.. teaching you a lesson.. arms around the stereo.. speaker wires caught on the shelves.. his mom ran into the hall... Stop it! What’s going on?.. dad stumbled[over cat] .. stereo fell.. banging onto the carpet.. Goddamned cat..”

- Gay bashing a school, queer written on locker, called homo, queer

- J tells K story: ”..when I was 10.. best friend.. spent the night.. took a bath.. clowned around.. touched each other... dad caught us.. made [friend] go home.. beat the shit out of me, really pounded me.. told me if he ever caught me again, he’d kill me.”

-“[K] couldn’t help but stare at J’s mouth.. Can I kiss you?.. J.. leaned forward.. His tongue gently slipped between his teeth.. explored the wet warmth of J’s mouth.. wanted to remain like that.. I love you J.”

-“..fucking boots!”

-“Hey fag, said [voice on telephone] want to suck my dick?”

-“..clicked onto the internet... on-line was HotLove69.. Did you get my photo?... want to hook up?.. OK.. agreed to meet at the [coffee shop].. motorcycle roared up... broad-shouldered man.. My names’ Brick.. you want to come to my place?.. hop on.. Put on some music you like.. want a beer.. bricks face pressing against N’s neck.. wet kisses.. led N down hall [to bedroom].. above headboard.. huge print of guy in his underwear... hands.. beneath N’s shirt.. N shivered with excitement and closed his eyes.. Nothing had ever thrilled him so much... kissed so hard.. looking up at the underwear poster.. I want you Brick said.. OK [said N].. as Brick de-pantsed him.. Brick was on top of him, pressed against him, touching every part of him.. [about this time N thinks about a condom but wants Brick and afraid of being rejected doesn’t stop him] N clutched at him soaked with sweat.. heart thundered.. it was over. Brick lay on top of him... [N] had never felt anything so incredible in his life.. you were great Brick whispered... looked around the bedroom for signs of a condom] ... recalled brick grabbing something from the nightstand.. all he saw was a tube of lubricant... no condom. Shit... searching for a wrapper.. if Brick were HIV positive, they could take care of each other. Wasn’t that what lovers were for?.. [tells] Brick, I’d like to see you again.” Brick says sure unenthusiastically, takes N’s telephone number but tells N that he can’t give him his, since he has a lover who was away on a trip, and the apartment they were in was the lover’s.

- J thinks” K had helped him a lot... to realize it was ok to be bisexual.. not a total flamer like N”

- J has conversation with friend: “ She said your... Queer.. what if I am?.. Stop bullshitting. I know your not.... didn’t you like [sex with her]? Yeah! Then why would you.. I just have these feelings.”

- J’s dad gets upset because his mom is going to Al-Anon, a group for people in a relationship with an alcoholic

-“..way fucked up.”

- N tells K about Brick: “..guy I.M.’d me. we hooked up.. went home with him.. just like that?.. You make me sound like a slut... Fuck, it was fantastic!” Tells K that he didn’t use a condom: “..knew we should.. but it was too intense.. Shit!.. i don’t want to die... I’m scared.. just hold me.. cap fell off.. N’s head was shaved... Why? i hate my life, i hate my hair-my head- and my butt hurts... started to sob.. K.. leaned over to kiss N’s tearstained cheek.. Now you kiss me. i should have gotten sick earlier.”

-“How could [K] tell [his mom] that nothing in his life was ok - N having sex with some guy he met online and not using a condom, J dissing him, JR threatening him, being called homo every day, having bottles thrown at him.. QUEER on his locker”

- N sends Brick an email asking how he is doing and finds the message is blocked

- N is gaining weight and sticking his finger down his throat to lose it

- N tells his mom about Brick

- N goes to meeting to defend the proposed school gay club from parents

- N hears lecture about HIV/AIDS at the rainbow meeting from an HIV positive gay

- N talks to the HIV lecturer and tells him about his sex without a condom: What if I get infected... first time I get laid... if you did, it’s not like the end of the world.. pulled out a pill case... meds are a pain, but.. it’s better than the alternative... [N asks].. do you still.. have sex?.. yeah, though not often enough.. make sure I tell the person I’m positive.. insist on being safe.. [they exchange telephone numbers]”

- some more gay bashing: fighting, ‘faggots”, N flips them the finger and yells, breeders, JR grabs his crotch and says, hey queers, you want to suck on this?.. N says to him, I don’t suck on anything that small”

- J’s dad drunk says, “Don’t bring them here again.. don’ wan’ any faggots in my house... [J says].. well.. you’ve got one... What?.. You disgusting.. fist slammed ‘s chest.. keep your hands off me.. mom shoved her arms between them.. dad pushed her aside..[J] reached out to help his mom.. Just because your faggot coach gets you in some school... J jabbed his fist into his fathers jaw.. dad stumbled.. [J] saw a pathetic insecure man... [father leaves].. I’m not staying hear with no faggot... [mom says] I can’t imagine he’s going to drive.”

- K’s dad says: “your mom says there’s a group for parents, PFAG? FLAG! K corrected.” dad says they're going to go and that they will get [him] contact lenses and that he loves him.

- K comes to visit J. J is upset he drove K away previously: ”I fucked up big time.. [K asks] where’s your mom?.. My aunts.. their lips touched. K’s body melted beneath the kiss... please stay.. kissed more boldly now... shirt came off next... J reappeared, the t-shirt tossed aside.. [J’s] shirt.. opened with a burst of cologne. K stared in.. awe at J’s chest.. let his hands go everywhere.. feel every part of J... exploring every muscle..[turned out light].. mouths reunited.. kissed with an urgency from which there was no turning back... felt how hard his body was.. groped and bumped.. I love you, J.... I love you... [J said] I love you back.. K awoke in the dark.. it seemed.. as if it had been a dream... turned on the pillow.. J beside him.. entwined in his arm.” [they hear a car] “Shit!.. it’s my mom!... light turned on.. J.. lean.. muscled body naked in front of K.. [who] thought contact lenses were the greatest invention ever created... Get dressed!... dressing speedier... straightened the bedspread... Your zipper.. Look normal.. Hi, ma. We were just listening to music.. [mom leaves].. Do you think she realized..”

- “[N says] You just got laid, man! You should celebrate... I’ve got news for you, too. Remember [the AIDS speaker, Jeremy]/ He phoned and asked me out.. what if he didn’t test positive? Did he want to fall in love with someone who was?.. Shit. He is so cute.. big fucking help you are.”

-“[N] hated the prick [his dad], but at least he was calling.. Excuse me N thought. Were do you get off lecturing me?.. sure, you send child support but that’s it.... dad blathered on, never mentioning the HIV... I’ve got to go now, his dad said. Let your mother know I called.. hung up.. [N] banged the phone against the counter. Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!... unclipped [potato chip] bag and started gobbling.. eat the whole bag and make himself sick.. hate himself afterwards... Fuck him!”

- N goes on date with Jeremy. Mom makes sure he has condoms. They go to his place, his brothers out of town: “Suddenly they were kissing.. no longer mattered that Jeremy was HIV positive-only that he was warm and sweet.. J pulled away.. Whoa, slow down.. all the indecision about sex with an HIV-positive guy was making him crazy. Might as well get over it.. Why didn’t J want to have sex? Couldn’t they have sex and still have more than one date?... don’t want to rush... go back to kissing.. never knew kissing could be so much fun...drove N home... kissed him.. wished they could keep kissing all night... N [tells] K.. weird part is that even though we didn’t have sex, I really like him.. understand why girls hold out when they’re going with guys..”

- More harassment [“FREE HEAD, Fucking queer, faggot queer, homo, etc.”] prior to the first gay straight meeting at school but J decides to go.

___________________________________________________

"Rape Fantasies from The Norton Anthology"

Atwood, Margaret

See www.classkc.org for excerpts

___________________________________________________

"Rats Saw God"

Thomas, Rob
Aladdin Paperbacks
202 pages
Copyright 1996

-Drug use starts on page 1, sentence 1 - “..tried to clear my head of the effects of the fat resiny doobie I’d polished off.. as I stumbled into senior counselor[s].. office. ..arriving in her class sporting quarter-sized pupils.. Wakefield Highs… losing war against us stoners.. less than a semester you’ve tallied one.. possession.. 3 under the influences”

- “..was so stoned when that picture was taken.”

- “..sneaking cases of Busch… raid his parents’ stock of Red Stripe.. beer..”

- “..spot the 8-inch.. nonfern.. marijuana:.. light.. soil.. watering.. will shoot up like.. a weed.”

- “..pulled 3 bottles of champagne out.. play a drinking game.. thought J was lying when he told us about all the chicks he nailed.. had caught her parents getting stoned. ..had sex with the editor of a high school newspaper. ..contemplated groupiehood in.. Econo Lodge room, but the bass player.. passed out before any deflowering..”

- “I’ve never masturbated, she said… Boy, I know how long you spend in the bathroom. You best start drinking. ..On my 2nd attempt, I succeeded in standing. ..grabbed the remaining bottle and chugged the dregs.”

- “..withdrew the 3-inch pipe and sealed Baggie of marijuana stashed.. throwing on a Dr. Zog’s sex wax T-shirt.. wandered.. down the beach. ..stuffed the bowl of the pipe with what little pot I had on hand.. hadn’t been smoking much lately.. lit the pipe and took the 1st hit. 20 minutes later I was a kite. ..D and I used to lie naked on the floor of her bedroom and study stars..”

- “I suppose if I had given you shit about your never having done heroin, you’d be playing bass for Alice in Chains by now?”

- “..boy grabbed my breasts.. had the nerve to say, Thank You, ma’am. The pleasure is mine.”

- “..still possible to have sex in college. Cheap, tawdry, meaningless, fleeting, anonymous sex. You can’t have it with everyone, but no one stops you from taking matters into your own hand. ..After… class, our TA.. buys us pitchers of [beer]..”

- “..aware of the creature from the black lagoon testing the metal of my zipper, I jammed my fists into my pockets… misconstruing my woody-concealing gesture as a show of defiance,..”

- “..spread-eagled on his back on the front lawn, asleep. ..robe.. untied, revealing.. boxers. A pubic hair exhibition.. through the open fly..”

- “..son of a bitch was only playing because he knew I’d come in wasted the night before.”

- “[She] shunned more feminine garments neither out of.. nor latent lesbian masculinity.”

- “..you make it sound like we’d be acting out Caligula in the room. ..don’t think anyone will be parading around naked. We’ll leave the vibrators and goats here at home.”

- “..scammy bullshit.”

- “..go to parties where everyone does the cocaine and X they bought..”

- “..good.. to be out of the.. drug ring in the.. afternoon. More of us get high, or make plans to get high, at that time..”

- “caffeine gives me such a different buzz than dope.”

- “[dad] probably thinks you’re gay. I thought about that.. liked the sound of it.. get my hands on some blatantly deviant skin mags, Bone Homme or something like that, leave them poorly hidden around the house,.. earn that disinheritance. ..I’m not sure introducing [dad] to [your girlfriend] would change his mind, anyway.”

- “Reflexively I scanned the room for drug paraphernalia, soiled underwear, stray condoms.”

- “If I were taking a middle-aged woman home, I’d have to pull the car over right now to be ravaged. ..Thanks for taking me to the dance. ..know.. I’ve been kind of a bitch all week.”

- “What’s up, man? You’re freaking. .. he’s dead. ..Kurt Cobain is dead. he blew his own head off. …heard someone saying.. Kurt Cobain was a prophet and that he died for our sins. ..white guy with.. skanky dreadlocks said.. set up to look like a suicide.. government wanted him dead because he had too much power. ..T.. handed me the joint..”

- Tries to have sex with girlfriend but dad comes home: “..began untucking her shirt.. feared the friction would ignite our blue jeans.. had never ventured inside girls’ clothing before.. cupped the satiny fabric covering her right breast.. squeezed. I began moving my thumb back and forth across her nipple.. began tracing the fabric of her bra.. tried to disguise my fumbling as some sort of exotic foreplay.. want some help? [she asked]… unhooked herself.. we were out of our shirts, naked from the waist up, and pressed against each other. [she] rolled me over on my back and straddled me. ..kissed my forehead first.. her nipples skimmed across.. my chest.. female breasts against my skin. ..sound of the automatic garage door opening.. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.. rolled out from under [her]..”

- “I kneeled down beside the bed and kissed her.. tasted the stale, fermented tang of beer.. she had slept where she had fallen.. slipped my hand underneath the sheets and ran it down the.. T-shirt that ended where her panties began. I rode my hand over her butt and down along her thigh. She murmured… she grabbed me and bit my ear. That’s what you get for being a perv [she said].”

- “S.. was still in her bikini bottom. The more I drank the less capable of averting my gaze.. thinking about medieval monks who would whip themselves for impure thoughts about stable boys.. [girlfriend and he] ended up getting the extra bedroom to ourselves. Have you thought about birth control? [she] asked when we were down to our underwear. ..no. I hadn’t. A bit, I lied. Think about it some more [she said]. safe in our underwear, a little drunk… forgot about.. condoms and spermicides..”

- “..more shit he dished out..”

- Long descriptions of him buying condoms and having first sex: “D. was a medical expert.. had to change my flights.. because I would have arrived at her most fertile time… discussed the pill.. mood swings.. nauseous.. gain weight.. make my boobs bigger. I say go for it. But she hadn’t. She offered to purchase the condoms.. [but] was a man’s job.. made me promise not to buy them from a gas station bathroom vending machine. No fancy colors, no feathers, no glow-in -the-dark.. nothing.. ‘for her pleasure’.. [sister] says lubricated kind.. You asked your sister what kind of rubber..? ..planned on swaggering up.. daring checker to notice my crotch.. thrown off by the selection offered by the contraceptive industry… gazing at the condom rack.. wondered if I would eventually develop.. brand loyalty. ..selected a box of 12.. less would seem superficial and cheap.. more.. narcissistic.. [she] unbuttoned her shirt.. We undressed each other.. standing naked from ankles up, hopping on one foot, then the other.. resisted the urge to cover my titanium love barometer between my legs. Was it the right size?.. shape?.. color?.. Would [she] know whether it was? ..was the first time she had seen it.. had rubbed it through my blue jeans.. groomed up my shorts dry humping until I thought I would die.. first time Junior had the pleasure of meeting a woman in the flesh. [She] gripped the shaft and gave it a couple.. tugs. How does that feel she asked?.. every sensual pleasure in my lifetime would be compared to this. ..nothing so far.. approached this sensation. As a.. middle-ager I might describe landing a marlin as feeling like great sex but right now I couldn’t tell [her that]. Nice, I answered. ..In final scene [in movie Shampoo].. Beatty putting it to Julie Christie on a.. floor, his naked butt ramming away pistonlike… Unless you count ‘oh yes’ no tender words were spoken.. I had a flash.. sex isn’t indulging in each heartfelt caress.. is friction, pure and simple. …loomed in push-up position over [her] naked body.. could have used Junior to cut glass. I began doubting she had an orifice down there.. I tried again. Brick wall.. Let’s roll over she said.. trading positions, [she] began grinding into me… meeting point turned into.. tropical rain forest.. don’t think I would have lasted.. had I not been sheathed in latex. [She] raised her haunches and reached back between my legs.. positioned Junior.. lowered herself down on me.. was inside her.. no longer a virgin.. allowed to hunt buffalo with the village elders. I could almost feel my complexion clearing up.. [She] started rocking back and forth. I attempted to thrust in a matching rhythm.. twice I fell out and had to be reinserted.. became easier to accomplish.. convinced her we should try this the old fashioned way. Back on top.. increased.. hip speed… condom.. was numbing most sensation.. sweaty bodies sliding.. her.. panting.. After years of self-service.. recognized.. impending orgasm.. my testicles desire to join my lungs.. reached point of no return. [her] eyes were closed, and she was biting her lower lip. And then it was over… Did you? she asked. ..2 minutes of snuggling, but in back of mind I was reviewing instructions.. [on] box of condoms… grip sides of condom when I pulled out.. tip contained only a moderate amount of fluid.. should be a billiard-sized globe at the end.. walked naked and embarrassed to the bathroom.. tied off end.. flushing it down commode.. didn’t want some renegade sperm scaling porcelain.. slithering into bed with [her]… Do you know why the French call these chairs boudoir chairs?.. Louis.. liked boffing sitting down.. Do you feel any different? No. What about you?.. sad [she] said.. closes a door behind me.. like my dad doesn’t have to love me anymore. ..wasn’t a big deal as I thought it would be.. I was gone before her parents came home. She didn’t try to make me stay.”

- “..he was.. bustin’ my balls. ..may be P.W. …pretty sure the last letter stood for whipped.”

- “I drank as fast as I could-four beers into downtown..”

- “..deal with shit,..”

- “..have any of those condoms left? No, me and my other girlfriends, we’ve been going at it like porn stars. That’s too bad. I might have one left. ..climbed into the backseat.. weren’t so concerned with the poetry of the moment. Only necessary clothes were removed.. enjoying the moment… she was too.”

- “..drive.. took 3 hours. ..right on the lake.. made love 4 times that day.. pretended to be unhappily married to clueless spouses.”

- “There were other, more pleasurable ways of expressing our love. We were experimenting with those regularly. ..had a routine.. drive down the block.. returned on foot to the doors of her bedroom. ..set the alarm.. for the middle of the night, make love..”

- “I knocked a couple times [on dad’s door], then opened it.. learned… the old man had a libido.. saw 4 frantic arms reaching for whatever they could find.. sheet flying up over blond hair.”

- “Like Mom, she was blond.. pretty.. young, maybe mid-30’s [he drives dad’s girl home] She pulled [music] out of the glove box.. wrapped condom came fluttering out behind it, touching down on [her] lap. [Your dad] said you had a serious girlfriend, she said stuffing the prophylactic back in.. [dad’s girl doesn’t tell his dad].. knew I owed [her] big.”

- “can you imagine your father… in the throes of passion?.. did you ever walk in on your mom and dad when you were little?.. heard their mom screaming and thought their dad was hurting her.. supposed to screw some kids up for tears. ..Jesus.”

- “..bullshit..”

- “..kept thinking that if she left [his girlfriend’s new boyfriend’s, one of their teachers, house] in the next 10 minutes, everything would be fine. ..hoping to find something sharp. …wanted to hurt myself. Cut my throat with a screwdriver. Drink a can of STP.”

- “..busted me for smoking in the projection booth.. grades turned to shit,..”

- “Jesus.. where have you been hiding?.. see your ass tonight.. party season.. weed, speed, and need out on the beach tonight,..”

- In Fairfax County Public School Elementary and Middle School Library System

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"River God"

Smith, Wilbur
St. Martin's Press
Copyright 1993

- Story told by neutered (castrated) high ranking slave (has slaves of his own) of Lord’s princess in ancient Egypt

- “Her breasts were the size and shape of ripe figs just ready for plucking”

- “..L. had lost lost her skirt.. the cold wet body she pressed to mine was entirely naked. She was displaying….. the neatest, tightest pair of buttocks in all Egypt.”

- “..slit open the belly of (the crocodile) ..and out..slithered the partly digested remains of a young girl…. The flesh was bleached soft and pasty-white by by the digestive juices and was sloughing from the skull..”

- “…gorged with beer…younger and more shameless were … using the gathering darkness and the..bushes to screen their blatant copulations.”

- “she dropped her skirts and fell to her knees in the dust, presenting him with a quivering pair of monumental buttocks. With a happy cry (he) was upon her like a dog on a bitch, and within seconds she was yapping as loudly as he was, I began to sketch their antics,..”

- “His sexual tastes ran in other directions. The special companions…were as pretty a collection of slave boys as you could find….pederasty had replaced …hunting as the favorite preoccupation….my lord seldom pleasured himself with me these days… when he did it was … to punish me…He knew full well the pain (it) caused me…still been a child when I first learned .. to simulate pleasure in the perverse acts he forced upon me…my feelings of disgust…seemed to enhance (his enjoyment)…I have counted in the hundreds the slave boys… brought to me weeping and torn after their first night of love with my master.”

- “..heard …shouting for my lord’s favourite of the moment, a lad..barely ten years old. …heard the child protesting in a terrified treble as R. dragged him past my door….I was relieved that it was not I who would be called that evening.”

- “He placed his finger under my chin and… kissed me on the lips…Dutifully I responded…. ..caressed the nape of my neck…often his prelude to lovemaking..kissed me again..twisted my hair (brought) tears to my eyes…twisted harder..clump of my hair came away…forced my face down into his lap….I was not surprised to find he was fully aroused…he pushed my face down upon himself and held me there.”

- Talks of how he loved another slave girl before he was neutered. At time he was lords favorite and Lord was very vengeful when he found out he was sleeping with the girl: Both of them dragged before lord and stripped naked, bound girls wrists and ankles. A headband tourniquet was than placed on the girl and slowly tightened (vividly described) until: “her skull burst.. heard bone collapse with sound like palm-nut crushed in jaws of elephant….naked body by the heels.. dragged out..back of her crushed head bumped down the steps…surgeon’s instruments…burning charcoal…Come my pretty darling…pinning me at wrists and ankles…seized me and stretched me out, until it felt as though he were plucking my entrails out through my groin…What a fine pair of eggs we have here!….I am going to feed them to the crocodiles, just as I did with your little girlfriend. He kissed the blade…say goodbye to them, pretty boy..held up sac of wrinkled skin… from now on pretty boy will have to squat like a girl when he wants to piss!..”

- “..R. held the whip in.. in his fist… had allowed the blood of a hundred victims to dry upon it….R. was an artist with this awful tool…He could …leave on the tender thigh of a young girl only a crimson weal (that) stung viciously as a scorpion and left his victim writhing and weeping…or…could strip the skin and flesh from a man’s back and leave his ribs and the crest of his spine exposed. He stood over me and grinned…loved his work….Once again my lord buried my face in his lap and spoke to R.”

- “ I had the priests of Osiris examine the goods last night. They (her virginity) are still intact. …thought of those lascivious old goats from the temple probing and prying into my little girl.”

- Approximately 8 page description of “play” the slave directs for the Pharoh: In it an actor’s wrist is cut off and than he is killed. He had been tricked into thinking it would be make believe, “blood burst .. sprayed..clutching his stump..scream, high and clear with mortal agony… S. seized stump..and used it as a handle to drag him back into the center of the stage…lay in a spreading puddle of his own blood…” Next all the man’s appendages are hacked off piece by piece: “Cut it off!… Kill him!…Even I was stirred by this terrible scene, sickened and horrified, ….but beneath stirred by a revolting excitement….trying to rise to his feet, but had no hands to support himself…hacked the arm in three pieces …hurled fragments into audience…sprinkled those below with drops of ruby…held up there hands to catch these holy relics of their god…S. worked on with dedicated gusto …feet …calves ..thighs…As he threw each..the mob clamored for more…Give us the talisman (penis)..most powerful of all the magic charms” The penis is presented as a gift to the Pharoh who holds it through the rest of the play. Finally the head is cut off “the poor dismembered creature was alive and sensate to the very end..terrible agony in his eyes as he lay in the lake of his own blood and rolled his head from side to side” head tossed to the crowd. The next act has a mummy put together like building blocks in which each section was one of those hacked off except for the missing penis. “..must perform the act of generation with his shattered body to make it whole again and to fan spark of life…..elements to appeal to even the most prurient of those present, including incest and necrophilia…..(women) disrobes in the most provocative manner…the males in the audience cheered…(she) responded with an increasingly lewd display…wooden phallus, hinged ..rose in majestic splendor, as long as my arm, into full erection. The audience gasped with admiration..(woman) caressed it. I jerked the string to make it leap and twitch…mounted mummy …acrobatics of her simulated ecstasy..” Final act is a swordfight to death: “ ..R’s features began to swell and engorge with blood…a carbunucle on R’s back was stretched to a bursting-point and the yellow pus erupted in a stinking stream…drove the hilt into R’s spine..last gust of his foul breath…heard more than one of his ribs cracked like dry twigs….skull bounced upon ..stones…with a sound like a desert melon dropped…stood over R. Blood ..had painted his visage….soaked the hair of his chest and stained his clothing…Kill him ! roared the congregation..”

- “..the nobles anoint the buttocks of their fancy boys with the most precious oils..”

- “…power and fortune is found in the most unexpected place!….This time it lies between the thighs of a woman.’

- “It would have been impossible to tally all the lovely women who …..had enjoyed his services…. I am no longer a young man …My weapon has been in many a fierce battle…blade no longer as keen as once…Do you have something….that would stiffen the wilting stem of the lily?”

- “..prepare her for the brutal shock of her first act of procreation with a man whom she did not love and who was..physically distasteful to her.”

- “..cure of yours is (good).. not felt so virile since I was a young man…this morning when I awoke I had a stiffening of the member…sent for A. to view it…He was mightily impressed. .wished.. to fetch your mistress”

- Applying ointment to her (vagina) to open “the gateway” for when she has to sleep with king. “Will it hurt?.. The king has much experience…sure he will be gentle with you. I will prepare an ointment…I will apply it every night….When I smoothed the ointment upon them they raised their own sweet dew…Why is it that when you do that, I long for T?”

- “Last night I dreamed of your mistress…had found my seed had spilled out upon the sheets.”

- “They cut away the clitoris and the inner lips of the vagina to remove the seat of sexual pleasure so that they may never be tempted to stray..”

- 1-1/2 pages on night his mistress losses her virginity to king

- “She was young and her naked body was full and enticing, with big round breasts and a thatch of crisp curls at the base of her belly.”

- “Which of the women did you enjoy the best?…was it the mother, with her big belly, or was it the little girl/ Was she tight enough for you?.. There is dried blood in front of your kilt…stabbed him in the stomach, but not tooo deeply. Did the child scream as loudly as you do now? Stabbed him in the spine paralyzed (him) from waist down…I won’t (kill you)…would be too good for you….dragged himself .. legs slithering like a fisherman dragging a pair of dead carp..sun still had enough heat in it to kill him before it set.”

- “..many a prurient glance in my direction… received more than a few sly offers… new sexual license that permeated our society…pricked (with my dagger) the first uninvited visitor to my sleeping mat..”

- “..famous for their skills on the love couch…capable of tricks that could bring a ..mummy to life..merchants..offered to buy entire bevy of girls on the spot..”

- “..breath stank like a sewerage gutter as he lusted into my face….I’ll give you something to make you squeal with joy…and twisted my face…kissed me..I am an artist of the love arts, ..learned my skills in the boys’ quarters of Lord I. My kisses can turn a man to water….kissed him with all my skill…stabbed him…twisting blade in his heart..”

- “The cries, the groans..tore my heart..rhythmic sobs of a young woman ….Her wild scream of final rapture was more agonizing to me than the cut of the gelding-knife.”

- His mistress before being called to the king for sex:“..to imagine the king as T. is to imagine that the tail of the mouse has become the trunk of the elephant.”

- Public executions by upside-down crucifixion: “packed to capacity…many of them had brought beer and wine to make a celebration of it…naked and bound..the condemned men led through the streets…children danced ahead of the procession…thick copper nails driven through the flesh and bones.. crowd laughed and cheered…pendulous paunch was revered, and the huge hairy bunch of his genitalia flapped against his belly…nails ripped slowly through the web of flesh between his toes…tore.. free..fell back to earth and flopped around like a beached fish…spectators loved the show, and howled with mirth…(rehung) like some monstrous star-fish … sun beat down.. hung as quietly as the carcasses on butcher’s hooks….face filled with dark blood so it swelled to twice its normal size. His tongue protruded..like a thick slice of purple liver.”

- “..landed neatly on (his) head..impact broke his neck…heard the vertebrae snap…(chariot) wheel bounced over ..body of man.. (Lord I. yells) do you still love me? I want you to prove it once more before you die…You are going to kneel in front of me and die with your mouth full….and you my lovely daughter, I will give you to the soldiers to play with. They will teach you a few tricks….wheel-knife.. hooked ..his coat…knife was spinning and his entrails snagged and snapped around it..guts drawn out of him.. disemboweled.. towed along behind by the slippery ropes of his own entrails, but he fell slowly behind as more coils and tangles of his gut were torn from his open stomach cavity…he clutched at them… as they were stripped out..but they slid through his fingers like some grotesque umbilical cord..when at last the gruesome rope by which he was being dragged …snapped, he was left lying…”

- vision made up about his mistress: “ I have endowed the queen with my godhead…I have impregnated her with my divine seed. She who has known no man but me, will bear a child of my royal blood. This will be a sign to all men that she enjoys my protection..”

- “..entered his tent in haste…found my prince well mounted and oblivious to all but the tender young body and pretty face beneath him.”

- “..she stood naked at the waters edge…saw tiny goose bumps rise around her nipples…mounted like little jewels on the peak of each smooth, round breast…cold water must have affected her, for she squatted quickly and her own water tinkled…M. groaned…It was instinctive, not intentional, a sound of longing so intense..”

- “They dragged the Hyksos from the taverns and hacked them to shreds, so that the gutters discharged a scarlet flood… barracks put to torch…screams of men as they burned, and soon the aroma of scorched flesh drifted up….smelled like roasting pork…when one of the (wine) jars broke they went down on all fours and guzzled the wine out of the gutter like hogs….three men chase(d) a girl down the alley..threw her down and ripped her skirt away..two of them pinned her limbs and held her spread-eagled while the third man mounted her.”

___________________________________________________

”Running Loose"

Crutcher, Chris

See www.classkc.org for excerpts

___________________________________________________

"Sari Says, The REAL DIRT on Everything from Sex to School"

Locker, Sari
HarperCollins Children’s Books
321 pages, large print
Copyright 2001

- Sari [an on-line advice columnist for teens] answers questions. The book is cataloged as non-fiction. Very colorful book cover. About 25 percent of the book is her advice on sex, some very specific how to instructions on sex acts. Topics include:

- Convincing Mom it is ok to stay in hotel with boyfriend on prom night: Tell her you will be discreet, tell her you love guy and that is why you are having sex with him, tell her you are using birth control and condoms... if she says no, try for 4am curfew.

- How to “come out” to parents: Advice says remember about 10 percent of the population is gay

- How to tell your parents you are ready to have sex

- What a guy should do when his best friend [a girl] is dating a jerky boy who tells everyone how “easy” she was and how he was going to “do her in front of the entire basketball team”

- What a girl should do when she knows her best friend cheats on all of her boyfriends and tells me about it

- My boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend. Should I be mad at her?

- My boyfriend and I are having sex. I told this secret to 2 of my friends... 1 of them told someone... who told 9 other people... help... I don’t know how to handle it

- How to tell by looking at your guys penis if he was circumcised

- When my girlfriend and I fool around (we do not have sex) my “balls really hurt”. Do blue balls really exist?: They do... “will subside on its own, but if you want to relieve it quickly, the best way is for the man to have an orgasm. Some guys do try to use this... to pressure a girl into having intercourse, oral sex, or giving him manual stimulation, but... guy does not need sex to get rid of blue balls: he can masturbate instead!.. when girls get sexually aroused and do not have an orgasm, they to can feel pressure... achiness... maybe we should call this ‘pink pelvis’”

- 16 year old still has wet dreams and wants to know if normal and if there is any way to stop them: “no need to loose sleep over wet dreams...Guys usually find if they masturbate they do not have wet dreams.. helping their body get rid of semen. Plus, masturbation can be rather fun. So if the wet dreams are getting you down, then try masturbation.”

- 15 year old virgin girl wants to know about “creamy stuff.. that looks like snot.. gross” in her underwear

- What to do when a guy is kissing your neck

- Wants to know about french kissing... once tongues are in each other’s mouths what do i do?... wants details: Advice gives a long description, starts with 4 pieces of advice for the “warm-up, 6 pieces of advice for the “kiss”, 6 pieces of advice for “french kissing”, and finally 4 don’ts such as “don’t try to reach your tongue way far back... don’t open your mouth too wide... don’t stay locked at the mouth... don’t slobber a lot”

- Fun ways to kiss: “ice cube in your mouth, chocolate in your mouth, upside down, underwater, spell the alphabet with your tongue on your partner’s tongue, anytime you hear a certain word”

- knew this guy for 3 hours and totally made out with him... don’t want my friend or her boyfriend [who were there] to think less of me... advice?: “If u feel ok about kissing a guy like that, then it’s ok for u to do it. You should not regret what you did or feel guilty about it because it is in the past.... Maybe next time you could kiss the guy in private..”

- Is making out with boyfriend 2 hours every night an obsession?: “No, it is totally fine... is fun and part of getting close.... If you enjoy it, then keep it up..”

- My ex-boyfriend has new girlfriend [I’m single] but tells me that he loves me and we had sex 4 times last week.. really messed up,.. can u please help me?

- Ex-boyfriend told me he is bisexual.. is [it] my fault he is gay?.. when we were going out he cheated on me.. I still love him: “Some people are born gay, lesbian, or bisexual... cannot be changed!... Being gay or bisexual is not a ‘fault’.. be happy he’s now open about his sexual orientation.”

- My ex invited me and my new girlfriend to her birthday party. My girl doesn’t want to go.. don’t want my ex to think she’s a bitch..

- ‘fun with masturbation’... spanking your monkey... “totally fine to masturbate as much as you want... even 2 or 3 times a day... teaches you how to have an orgasm. it helps you relax.. risk-free, without any worries about pregnancy or STD’s... it’s fun... part of being a healthy sexual person!”

- ‘talking about sex’... starting a conversation about sex in a relationship... “..ask whatever questions you were wondering about: ‘Are you a virgin?,.. Do you know how to use a condom?.. what kind of birth control should we use?”

- ‘fingering’... QUEST: “When I fool around with my girlfriend, I want to finger her, but I don’t know what to do. We do not want to have sex at all. We just want to fool around. How do I do it?” ANSW:“ Most girls like it if their clitoris is rubbed with 1 or 2 fingers back and forth in a circular motion.. do not rub it [too hard].. maybe she can touch herself, and you can put your hand over hers... show you where her clitoris is... slightly above the vaginal opening... some girls like it if you insert a finger or 2 inside their vagina at the same time.”

- ‘hand job’.. QUEST: “..want to give my boyfriend a hand job.. don’t know what to do with his penis.. What do I do?” ANSW: ”Usually a guy likes to have his penis rubbed in an up and down motion with your hand wrapped around it... some pressure, but.. not.. too tightly.. should be able to move smoothly up and down.. Some like.. lubrication on your hand, others like it dry. All guys like a different amount of pressure and for it to be stimulated in different ways.. ask him to put his hand over yours while you give him a hand job, so he can show you.”

- Question is about ‘dry humping’ and ‘foreplay’.. boyfriend and I want to fool around, but not have sex. Are these things we can do without actually having sex? ANSW: “dry humping is.. when a couple wears clothes (or at least underwear) while they are rubbing against each other’s bodies.. to feel sexual pleasure... Dry means that there is not exchange of body fluids... for instance,.. man’s ejaculation and the woman’s vaginal secretions... couples.. want to fool around because it can feel good, and it is completely safe... ways include... mutual masturbation... whatever you and your partner are comfortable doing is totally fine and healthy.”

- Does sperm die when it hits the air?.. would like to know if I ejaculate on my hand if it stays alive for long. ANSW: “...if a man ejaculated in his hand.. then inserted his fingers inside the woman’s vagina, she could have live sperm inside her... be very careful to keep it away from the inside of her vagina!”

- “I have some questions about oral sex.. thinking about giving my boyfriend a blow job for the first time... I have braces... What is 69?” ANSW: “..if guy ejaculates in your mouth, there’s risk of [STD’s]... man should use a condom during oral sex... if woman knows.. her partner has tested... negative for all STD’s, she may choose to allow him to ejaculate in her mouth... can buy condoms, like Durex Colors and Scents, which come in orange, banana, and strawberry... be sure that your braces do not scratch his penis, ask him not to make any sudden movements... 69 means having oral sex on each other at the same time... side by side with their heads near each other’s genitals,..”

- ANSW: “..decide for yourself how far you want to go... Some people may engage in mutual masturbation... other people might choose to have oral sex and save only intercourse for marriage.. [other] people consider oral sex even more intimate than intercourse.. would never consider having oral sex prior to having intercourse. All this is up to you.”

- “When people who are in love have sex, the sex is more meaningful. It is not necessary for people to be in love in order for them to have sex... If people choose to have sex in a casual relationship... it is their choice to make... may not be the best choice, especially for your first time.”

- Wants to know how to have sex with guy for first time without pain. ANSW: “.. If she masturbates regularly, or touches herself before she has sex with a guy.... get used to having something inside [her vagina]. She could put her finger in her vagina... good position for the 1st time is to have the girl lie on her back, with a small pillow under her butt.. To make the penis go in easier, put some lubrication on the condom and some in her vagina (..like KY liquid or Astro Glide..) She must be using birth control, too!... more comfortable if the guy slides his penis into her vagina gently, rather than thrusting it inside in one push... be still for a minute so she can get used to how it feels. Then he can thrust - gently... as soon as he ejaculates, he must withdraw his penis and take off the condom... girls who have ‘fooled around’ with the same steady boyfriend for 6 months to a year before they have intercourse.. usually have a better first time... will already have a good idea of what his naked body is like and how it feels to be naked together.”

- blood and the first time

- no blood and the 1st time

- ‘what is a virgin’ QUEST: “My friend had sex with her first boyfriend. He went inside her, but then she made him get out about 4 seconds later... Her mom told her she is still a virgin because he didn’t.. release anything... I say she isn’t... Who’s right?!”

- NOTE: By now I think the reader of this should have a good idea of some of the type of material in this book. The ‘topics’ are simply listed below without too many further excerpts:

- getting him to take no for an answer
- too touchy
- is prom night the right time
- sex as a gift
- getting the silent treatment after having sex
- too young for sex?
- What Are the “Bases”
- will a doctor tell?
- ..you’re in the shower?
- ..you have clothes on?
- ..you’ve never had your period?
- ..it’s during your period?
- ..the guy pulls out?
- condoms at any age?
- the lifespan of a condom
- types of condoms
- How to Put on a Condom
- condom breakage
- how protected are you?
- condoms under water?
- Female condom
- birth control without mom
- birth control pill side effects
- low dose birth control pills
- the pill and cancer
- depo-provera
- morning after
- RU-486
- unprotected sex
- preg and period
- more unprotected sex
- what are STD’s
- genital warts
- spread of herpes
- simple steps for preventing STD’s
- STD’s and virgins
- AIDS transmission
- it’s history
- this is rape
- getting over rape
- acting differently during sex
- how long should sex ask?
- discovering different sexual positions - learn about “doggie style”, the “spoon” position, etc.
- having more fun during sex
- never had an orgasm - Solve by masturbate by touching your clitoris, etc.
- how to have orgasms during sex: Girl has been having sex with her boyfriend for 1 year w/o orgasm but has them when she plays with herself - instructions on how to stimulate your clitoris during intercourse with your hand
- coming when he wants -instructions for him on how to avoid pre-mature ejaculation: details for him on how to practice control techniques during masturbation, should be able to masturbate 30 minutes without ejaculating until you’re ready; or more advice to try masturbating (or mutual masturbation) to orgasm before intercourse
- Look at Your Vagina
- what’s the G-spot?: Repeatedly rub the flat of your fingertip against the G-spot on the upper, inner wall of the vagina using a ‘come here’ motion... [if] her G-spot feels good to her.. you may want to stimulate it.

- In Fairfax County Public School Middle School Library System

___________________________________________________

"Shattering Glass"

Giles, Gail
Roaring Book Press
Approx. 152 pages
Copyright 2002

See www.librarypatrons.org for excerpts

- In Fairfax County Public School Middle School Library System

___________________________________________________

"Shogun"

Clavell, James
Dell Publishing
Copyright 1975

- “..you whore from hell..”

- “..blinding speed the killing sword made a hissing silver arc.. mans head toppled off his shoulders and a fountain of blood sprayed the earth. The body rippled a few times and was still. ... O. put his foot carelessly on the corpse. ... began to laugh uproariously. ..he grasped his sword in both hands and began to hack the body methodically into small pieces.”

- “..had 2 woman in 3 days and they’re like rabbits. They’ll do anything you show’em how. ...I’m tired out.. could only do it once.... yellow bastards..”

- “Oh, Christ Jesus!” “Look at that bastard.”

- “..all we’ve been doing is sleeping and fornicating..”

- “..make a man shit himself.” “..that bastard priest..” “..drunker than a fiddler’s bitch..”

- “..middle-aged woman.. began to undress... breasts were flat and dried up..”

- “..laid him on the quilt and undressed him, more than just a little curious. His Peerless parts (penis) are certainly impressive ....how large he would be when erect? Large he had answered .. all laughed... their woman must be... as well endowed.”

- “Shut your face, shit picker!” “..tighter than a virgin’s arse here.” “..I’ll kill you, you bastard."

- “..women.. began to undress him... he was naked.. undressed publicly... he had become erect... Their eyes became bigger and he began to blush. Jesus Lord God the One and only, I can’t be blushing... seemed to increase his size and the old woman clapped her hands in wonder... (old woman said) now die happy! ...helped to bed... girl was there... was patient with him.... he took her with care even though it had been so long.”

- “..rotten yellow bastard.”

- Man is broiled alive: “praying, weeping, fainting, waking, shrieking in panic before the pain truly began.... Z. ..poked the parboiled flesh of the man’s legs with a stick as one would a simmered fish to see if it was ready... He’ll come to life again... Extraordinary how long he’s lasted... He wants to know how long the man will live..... Until dawn. With care.”

- “..she was a woman trained to give pleasure, in whatever way. But not to give or receive pain. There were other(s) who specialized in that form of sensuality. A bruise here or there, or perhaps a bite... part of the pleasure-pain of giving and receiving. (He) turned and looked at her, then at the boy... was 15 (years old)... one of those who was pleased to earn money from those who enjoyed sex with boys and not women. ..He put their hands on him and held them equally.. showing them how to use their nails in his flanks, hurrying, his face a mask, faster, faster and then his shuddering violent cry of utter pain. ..lay panting, chest heaving,.. turned over instantly asleep.. We did everything he wanted she said... ..never been with a man and a lady at the same time before (the boy) whispered. Neither have I (she said). I’ve never been with a girl (he said). Would you like me? she (offered). Yes.. Afterwards he said That was very strange, Lady K. ..Which do you prefer? (she asked). This way is rather hard work (he said).... The boy stirred in his sleep. Why did (I) make the offer to him? ...For his pleasure... though it amused me and passed the time..”

- “I heard...she’ll be useless..... for 3 months... He used his teeth... why does he have the boy as well. Teeth? teeth. Rumor has it the screams make him large.. always has a boy there to remind him of himself when he was a boy and petrified, but actually the boys there only to pillow with to exhaust himself-otherwise he’d bite everything off, poor girl. ..she’s as practiced at 18 as a woman twice her age. She’s supposed to be able to prolong... Eeeee the joy of her!”

- “...no guarantee that the bastard’ll honor a bargain. ...He saw O. hitch up his kimino and ease his penis out... expected the man to piss in his face.. (but) pissed on his back.”

- “[told him] excluding the part about A.’s erection... might have offended H., whose own, at his age, might be few and far between.”

- “..sons of bitches! ...piss-eating monkeys, let that bastard alone!” “..bastards unarmed. They’re all bastards!.. love to kill... They kill as easily as we piss.” “I hate those bastards more than Spaniards.”

- “..the love instruments and pleasure beads near at hand...”

- “Catholic and Protestant and Calvinist and Lutherist and every other shitist.”

- “..make the buggers shit if you want to.” “You’re trapped, bastard...” “..you whore-bastard!” “..help that bastard. .. rotten, no good, piss-cutting, shit-tailed Japman1 ..Where are your cojones?” “..my tongue tastes like a barrel of pig shit looks.”

- “They’re animals, the Japaners. ....mound of earth 50 feet high in Miyako.... had the noses and ears of all the Koreans killed in the war collected and buried there...”

- “devil on earth, as cunning as a Jew.”

- “..hellish dawn. He was locked in a death battle with a fellow convict. The prize was a cup of gruel. Both men were naked. ..skin blotched and scratched from the man’s broken nails and wood burns... butted his head into the man’s face.. hammered the man’s head against the beams... sick had befouled themselves and the places in which they hunched... Bastard guards!... Outside the walls a roped-off area... 5 crosses were erected there. Naked men and one women had been bound straddled to the crosspieces... executioners with long lances thrust the lances crisscross into the victims chests while the crowd jeered. Then the 5 were cut down and 5 more put up and samurai came forward and hacked the corpses into pieces with their long swords, laughing all the while. bloody-gutter-festering-bastards!"

- “..chopped him viciously on the neck with the side of his hand...dry snap and the man’s head sagged.”

- “..blood marks in the sand, all naked, me naked, hags and villagers and children, and there’s the cauldron and we’re in the cauldron... drowning in liquid filth, Oh God Oh God Oh God I’m dying dying dying In nomine Patris et Filii et Spiritus Sancti. That’s the Last Sacrament and you’re Catholic we’re all Catholic and you’ll burn or drown in piss and burn with fire the fire the fire... earth-shattering finality of the Last Sacrament.”

- “..one wife at one time but as many consorts-legal mistresses -as they wished... What would it be like to have such a woman in bed? I’d be afraid of crushing her. No, she wouldn’t break. There are woman in England almost as small.”

- “..she pillowed him.. even at 15, O. new what she sought and the way to obtain it.... giving T. a son.. she alone of all the women he had in his life. How many pillow ladies? A 100 at least, him a stoat who sprayed more Joyful Juice into more Heavenly Chambers than 10 ordinary men...... Would she have (had) the cleverness to pillow with another man, to take his seed, then obliterate this same man to safeguard herself? Not once but twice? Could she be so treacherous? Oh, yes.”

- “..formed a noose with the silk rope.. dropped it over the guard’s neck and jerked tight. ..fingers tried to claw the garrote away but he was already dying... stab with the knife between the vertebrae..”

- “..slashed once, his sword a whirling arc, and the head rolled free. ...N. picked the head up... the eyes still fluttering. He held the head in the air... by its topknot...spat in the face, threw the head angrily to one of his men.."

- “..in matters of the pillow, how would you compare your woman with ours?... Pillowing’s our way of referring to the physical joining of man and woman. ..You’ve only pillowed once since you arrived?... You must be feeling very constricted,... One of these ladies would be delighted to pillow with you,... or all of them, if you wish. ...How can you be healthy without pillowing? ..very important for a man.. ..you would prefer a boy? ..we’d send a boy here if you wished it... Do I look like a God-cursed sodomite? ...He’s ..mad ..just because you offered him a boy? ..calm him down ...must be because he hasn’t pillowed for such a long time... impotent... enraged because he can’t pillow... don’t think so. The Doctor said he’s very well endowed. ...perhaps he’s one that likes dogs.. in Korea.. Garlic Eaters.. dogs and ducks. Perhaps these golden heads are like the Garlic Eaters, they stink like them, hey? Maybe he wants a duck. ...why not let one of the women send for the duck.. We just put it down. If he wants it ...fine, if not he’ll pretend he hasn’t seen it.”

- “,,sodomy is normal here?... Everything to do with pillowing is normal. ...Pillowing is quite normal. ..as to a man going with another man or boy, what has that got to do with anyone but them? ...And why are you so fanatic against them? ..because they’re ever present at sea, that most sailors have tried it... how else to stay sane with so many months at sea? ..because you’ve been tempted and you’ve hated yourself for being tempted? ..because when you were young.. once you were held down and almost raped, but you broke away and killed one off the bastards, the knife snapped in his throat, you 12, and this the first death on your long list of deaths? ..sin ..Pillowing a sin? .. How can anything that gives a human pleasure be sinful? ...why do so many of our priests do it and always have? some Buddhists sects even recommend it as a form of worship. Isn’t the moment of the Clouds and Rain as near to heaven as mortals get? Priests are not evil men, not all of them. and some of the Holy Fathers have been known to enjoy pillowing this way also. ..Why should they be deprived of an ordinary pleasure if they’re forbidden women? It’s nonsense to say that anything to do with pillowing is a sin and God-cursed!”

- “Bastard queers, they’re all blood-mucked bastards!” “Kill ‘em, kill the bastards!”

- “..arrow hit the 2nd (man) in the shoulder ..screaming with pain and rage, tearing futilely at the shaft... 3rd arrow twisted him around. Blood surged out of his mouth.. choking.. eyes staring he groped for B. and fell n him as the last (man) arrived for the kill, a short stabbing knife in his hands. ..hacked downward... hand caught the knife arm, the the enemy head vanished from the neck, a fountain of blood spraying upwards. Both corpses were pulled off B. ..”

- “Bastard.... cruel, cold-gutted, heartless bastard but you got majesty..”

- “.. the 2000 witches burned in Portugal alone.... the Scourges of God, as the Inquisitors proudly called themselves, the smell of burning flesh in their wake? Oh, Lord Jesus Christ, protect us!”

- “Thank God, the blessed Jesus, Mary and Joseph, we’ve cannon and that bastard has none..”

- “..poor bastards not hungry, he’s starving.... he’ll gorge like a ravenous wolf... vomit it up like as fast as a drunk-gluttoned whore... eat like an animal and vomit like an animal... Not in front of a piss-cutting sonofabitch- -particularly one as cleaned minded as a pox-mucked whore’s cleft!”

- “..lazy bunch of black bastards... how does one wear this? She held up the ..codpiece.. ..he wears in front, like this. ..over his trousers.. over his cod... she looked at the bosun’s (codpiece) studying it. He felt her look and stirred... You want a quickie? ..a bunk in the next cabin. Send your friend aloft. ..I’ll pay the usual... piece of copper - even 3 if your like stoat, and you’ll straddle the best cock between here and Lisbon..” At this point the ladies bodyguard who doesn’t understand English senses something wrong and intervenes by drawing sword. The bosun responds by drawing pistols. “Go on, monkey, come at me, you stink-pissed shithead!.. tell this monkey to put up his sword or he’ll be a headless sonofabitch before he can fart!.... monkey faced bastard pulled a sword...”

- “shit-face... shit-face.. shit-face..”

- “I’m going to fart. ..[In] last year[s] wind-breaking contest he had been champion of champions and brought honor... you’d better not.... shit-heads might get jealous.”

- “..shit too many times in the same pot to want to piss on our own feet or on each other’s.”

- “None of my women has ever birthed. I’ve juice in plenty, always have had.... must of pillowed a 100, 200, of all types, of all ages, in every way... you’re 43 so you can pillow your way to a dozen or more sons as easy as horses shit.."

- “..dying and screaming, the stench of blood and powder and urine and horses and dung filling you... wild frantic joy of killing possessing you... Christ Jesus, it’s grand to be victorious..”

- “..held her tiny wrist and brushed it with his lips. In [dark].. sought and caressed her face. ..kissed his fingers one by one... His hands traveled her... silk, nothing beneath... taste was sweet... tongue touched her teeth.. rimmed her ears.. loosened his robe and let hers fall.. She pushed closer... Then she began to love him, with hands and with lips.”

- “..20 muskets blew off his head at once.... threw the strangled pigeon at J.’s feet. Then a man’s severed head was also cast upon the ground... eyes still open.. lips drawn back in hate-filled grimace.. head began to roll.”

- “..died badly, weeping with fear, begging for mercy, the killing cruel and slow... allowed to run then bayoneted carefully amidst laughter, then forced to run gain, and hamstrung.. allowed to crawl away... gutted slowly while he screamed, his blood dripping with the phlegm..”

- “..slid his knife deep into the left side of his stomach... ripped it full across with both hands and took it out and plunged it deep again.. above his groin.. jerked it up in silence.. lacerated bowels spilled into his lap and as his hideously contorted, agonized face pitched forward, his second brought the sword down in a single slashing arc. N. personally picked up this head by the hair not... sent to I. with full honors, with a complete report on H.K.’s bravery. ..last samurai knelt.. no one to second him... was young. His fingers trembled and fear consumed him. Twice he had done his duty to his comrades... had never killed before.. focused on his own knife,, bared his stomach and prayed for his lover’s courage. [N. offers one of his men to 2nd].. death was quick, painless and honorable.. The heads were collected. Later J. shrieked into life again. His frantic hands tried helplessly to remake his belly. They left him to the dogs that had come up from the village.”

- “Pillowing? One of the maids. ...he’s in proportion? The girl said Oh very yes. Lavish was the word she used. Excellent. ...That’s the trouble with a lot of men - Y. for one, K. for another. Small shafts. Unfortunate to be born with a small shaft.”

- “Christian’s for peasants, not samurai. Don’t kill, don’t take more than one woman, and 50 other stupidities... it’s all manure..”

- “If she’d displeased you, a few slaps on the buttocks would’ve been more than enough. all women need that from time to time..”

- “..cut off the hair and ears of some of her ladies who had encouraged her to become Christian... did the same to her foster mother, and cut off her nose as well.. old hag!”

- “You murdering bitch!”

- “.. Holy Fathers unwise... foolishness about divorce - and the 6th Commandment, Thou shall not kill...... matter of killing would have been unimportant because no one pays any attention to that really, Christians least of all. ...How sensible divorce seemed here. Why was it a mortal sin at home, opposed by every priest.. in the name of God?”

- “Nothing would please her and none of the youths or men could unwind the knot in her Golden Pavilion. .. her Jade Gate.. With their Turtle Heads - their Steaming Shafts. Don’t you understand? Her...thing. ..No one could unwind her knot...could satisfy her.”

- “..you old bitch..”

- “..instructed to inquire if K. [prostitute] would be free this evening. ..[K.’s] owner had explained to her that special part of a man could be likened to a snake, that a snake was lucky, and if she could become a snake charmer in that sense, then she would be hugely successful.”

- “..took out a substantial life-sized penis made of ivory, another made of softer material, elastic... surely your woman have them... here almost every girl uses one for ordinary relief without a second thought. how else can a girl stay healthy.. a [dildo is] like a man but better because it’s exactly like his best part but without his worst parts.... better because all men don’t aren’t - don’t have sufficiency, as [dildo’s] do.. they’re devoted.. never tire of you, like a man does... can be as rough or smooth.. rough or smooth as you desire, and [dildo’s] have ... far more endurance than any man and they never wear out! ..these are ..Pleasure pearls, and the [man or woman] may use them... the beads are carefully placed in the back passage.. at the moment of the Clouds and Rain [orgasm], the beads are pulled out one by one... timings very important... oily salve should be used... Pleasure Pearls can be found in many sizes and... can precipitate a very considerable result... He laughed... bet a barrel of doubloons against a piece of pig shit you can believe that! ..Next she showed them a Secret Skin.. pleasure ring.. man wears to keep himself erect when he’s depleted.. man can gratify the woman after he’s passes his pinnacle, or his desire has flagged... Next.. shown.. dried stalks of a plant that ..wrapped around the Peerless Part (penis) swell up and make it appear strong. ..all kinds of potents.. to excite or increase excitement... salves to moisten, to swell, to strengthen... laid out other rings for the man to wear... rings with nodules or bristles or ribbons or attachments and appendages of every kind.. even tiny bells... if, unhappily he’s small or weak or old or tired, he can still pleasure her with honor...”

- “..we’re taught to be ashamed of our bodies and pillowing and nakedness and..all sorts of stupidities. It’s only being here that’s made me realize it. Now that I’m a little civilized I know better. .... you’re all so clean and we’re filthy and it’s all such a waste, countless millions... Christ Jesus what a waste! It’s the priests - they’re the educated and educators, priests own all the schools, do all the teaching, always in the name of God, filth in the name of God...It’s the truth!”

- “He went into the sleeping room and began to take off his kimono. She hurried to help. he undressed completely, then put on the light [robe].. K. changed also.. slipped under the net and lay beside him.... no love between K. and me, just a desire.. It was grand for me.. hope it was grand for her... he had used a pleasure ring.. had turned away to put it on, petrified that his strength would vanish, but it had not... when it was in place they had pillowed again. her body shuddered and twisted and the tremoring had lifted him to a more urgent plane than any he had ever known.”

- “..nice old gentleman who boiled criminals like his son after him... how hard you had to work to make him soft - unlike the son... pillowed 3 days and 3 nights... oh, how we pillowed. ... Ah, men and women. So predictable. Especially men. Babies always. Vain, difficult, terrible, petulant, pliant, horrible.... single incredible redeeming feature that we in the trade refer to as the Jade Root, Turtle Head, yang Peak, Steaming Shaft, Male Thruster, or simply Piece of Meat.... what in the world would we do.. without this Piece of Meat?”

- “..the women have skins like sea foam with no pubics at all... They’ve no short hair? ... allthe girls I’ve known had them, except one from Korea, but she had them plucked... I’d like to see a Jade Gate without a bush. I’d gamble a boatload of fish against a bucket of shit that it hurt to pull out those hairs. ...I’m going to inhabit K.’s Heavenly Pavilion! They say she was born perfumed and hairless... laughter.. Did it make a difference.. to attack the Jade Gate without the bush? ..nearest I ever got.. got closer and deeper than ever before and that’s important... closer for you and so closer for her... saw [K.].. her smile made me stiff as an oar.... Oh, to be so vast! U. mimed carrying a giant erection before him...”

- “She was young and pretty.... he had pillowed with her last night. But the joining had given him no pleasure and thought she was deft and enthusiastic and well trained, his lust soon vanished... he had pretended to reach the pinnacle, as she had pretended..”

- “..presently pillowing with his legendary strength.”

- “Filthy whore.. brother Joseph.. went with a whore... breaking his Holy Oath of chastity, his Holy Oath of obedience, desecrating his immortal soul... went with another 4 nites ago.. you took the Eucharist unconfessed, with full knowledge of mortal sin?”

- “..shouted at the man to move, but the peddler would not, so he cursed him... the samurai lunged at the peddler... blow was so savage and so perfect that [he] had walked on a pace before falling, divided in 2 at the waist. T had.. momentary delight.. other samurai cheered.”

- “..your Pellucid Pestle’s (penis) not built like [A.’s] but what you lack in size you surely make up with cataclysmic vigor!”

- “..pillowed K. ...using a classic ‘6 shallow and 5 deep’ rhythm for the 100 thrusts.. and slept to dawn like a babe.”

- “..agony of the tonsured virgin priest who, naked and on his knees, prayed first to his bigot Christian God, begging forgiveness for the sin he was about to commit with the girl..”

- “..secrets.. men spilled out with their Joyful Juice.. smiled and let him slide back into sleep. Then, when he was ready, she put her hands and lips on him for his pleasure. And for hers.”

- “She had brought an assortment of the pillow devices.... together they selected a pleasure ring. That looks very prickly.. Are you sure you don’t mind?”

- “[leg[ Hurts like shit but it works... big barbarian bandit bastard..” “shit-filled whores’re touchy..”

- “..B. stumbled drunkenly to the edge.. pulled his codpiece aside, and urinated in a high, curving jet. Ahhhh.. groaning ecstasy. Nothing like a piss... bastard sonofawhore spoke Dutch.. scratching and groping at the codpiece.”

- “..half-men! God-cursed fags.. Lots of Jappers are fags, by God!” “Thems our doxies.. our whores, and cheap, Christ Jesus... got a whole house of ‘em next door.. plenty more in the village.... rattle like stoats.. they’re squat and bandy but .. lots of vigor and no pox. You want one.. we’re not like the monkeys.. try Big-Arse Mary..”

- “Shit..” “..samurai were bosses and other monkeys worked like demons, hundreds of the buggers. Shit,.. bastards are as clever as any..”

- “Enough to make a man shit to have a bastard heathen monkey look at you naked..”

- “..can’t take piss or pick his nose.. without someone watching.. who wants those bastards around... Bastards.. only a shit filled cook...”

- “..other bastards... other bastards... How bout fetching Big Arse Mary.. Or Twicklebum? Shit, not her, not that old whore. ...want a special. Lets ask mama-san..”

- “..man’s hands, still gripping the sword were sliced off. ...howling, staring at his stumps, then Y. hacked off his head. ..roar of applause.. Y. slashed once more at the twitching corpse... picked up head by the topknot, spat.. in face, and tossed it aside.”

- “..filled with [pleasure] not felt in many a day... most of it was due to the killing, the ripple of joy that had rushed from sword to arm to head. Ah to kill so cleanly, man to man, - in front of men-..joy.. savored.. girl smiled invitingly. Shall I turn down the futons now..”

- “Sodding bastards.. shit-filled..” “..bastard’ll cut my throat..”

- “Marry T.? ..shame, from having to welcome him and feel his weight and his spurting life.”

- “..she had dismounted [her horse] and taken his hand.. went.. into the wood and she became like a bitch in heat... frenzy and lust and coarseness, lying on the earth.. could still feel his gushing liquid fire.. felt his full dead weight.. breath became putrid.. vile except the wetness... she.. pushed him off... [why] would such a beauty squirm in the dirt for such as him?”

- “..impact paralyzed [him], another vicious blow broke his neck with a dry crack.. [other] was clawing at the barbs embedded deeply in mouth and face.. poison already working. ..leader examined wound. Blood was spurting in a steady stream...dragged himself painfully to a corner, the wake of blood leaving a wide trail... scratched the back of one hand.. with poison... put the point [of stiletto] at base of his throat and, 2-handed, with all his strength, he thrust upward.”

- “..O. felt the depth of his look and her loins meted at the thoughts of a real man on her, in her, surrounding her, taking her, giving her new life within.”

- “..piss eaters.... heathen shit-heads... Christ Jesus.. shit-heads... They’re going to chop off our heads and stick them like those there and the birds’ll eat us...”

- In Fairfax County Public School Middle School Library System

- Fairfax County Public Schools Summer 2000 Suggested Reading List For Rising Ninth and Tenth Graders

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"Silver Pigs"

Davis, Lindsey
Crown Publishers
Copyright 1989

- "I decided she was wearing far too many clothes…if they start out with nothing… they have just stripped off for someone else… ..sweat (runs) down … into interesting crevices under all that fancy bodicework.."

- "It was best not to consider how much a brothel keeper might pay us for the pretty wench."

- "…for men who think their ..wives are sleeping with charioteers, …..(or) who know their wives are sleeping with their nephews."

- "…wives fall into three types…..ones who sleep with the senators, but not the senators who married them; the ones who sleep with gladiators…"

- "I still liked to imply I was harassed by half-naked ..acrobats every afternoon..she missed the shrieks of indignation when my mother swept (the women) out.. the.. next day."

- About dead woman: "She cannot have realized…. No nasty work…Rape. He meant rape, torture, indignity, indecency."

- "..obscene bully of a foreman, a real specialist in administering tortures to slaves. ….Avoiding …. being selected as (his) partner in sexual dalliance had occupied a lot of my ingenuity.”

- “C. had slunk away for one of his afternoon bouts of torture and fornication in the sheds.”

- “Shove it up your arse!”

- “(They all) thought I slept with her..”

- “H. visited my office the next day. It was extremely embarrassing because I has a young lady in a short (dress) sprawled across my lap with her legs in the air…”

- “…some salty old sea god would throw you on your back to ravish you on a mattress..”

- “…with the half-closed gaze of a very young man who imagines he is brilliant in bed.”

- “It was a brothel….profits of fornication….varieties of intercourse occurred in whatever patch of gloom the participants already occupied……Bang on my tambourine, centurion?…It’s two little gold pieces- or four if you bring your own girl!……I (put) her on the nearest table where she disappeared under the lecherous clutch of a group of happy Corsicans who could not believe their luck.”

- “What a vindictive bastard!”

- “If it were one of your Libyan dancing girls you’d have her in some boudoir on her back…… Oh I’ll grant you the boudoir……..though not necessarily on her back.”

- “Until then my encounters with women had relied on ….. wine jugs…wit, followed by a ….ballet to (get) me and my partner into some convenient bed.”

- “M. , you are not seducing me (she said),….. I am trying as hard as I can to seduce you!”

- “..prostitutes and pimps were dozing on the rushes among their snoring clients…”

- “Her hand stirred against me, in somewhat a private place; I saw her eyes widen….”

- “We would come out afterwards like boys from their first brothel, pretending we felt wonderful but really not sure..”

- “..his absence from the scene (for 3 years) meant that when she became pregnant it would have been impossible for her to pretend the child was really their own.”

- “Uncle M.! That man’s got his hand up that lady’s skirt!"

- In Fairfax County Public School Elementary and Middle School Library System

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"Simply Alice"

Naylor, Phyllis Reynolds

- For parent donated information on this book Click Here

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”Slaughterhouse Five"

Vonnegut, Kurt

See www.classkc.org for excerpts

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"Slave Day"

Thomas, Rob
Aladdin Paperbacks
246 pages
Copyright 1997

- Story is about a high school in which some students and teachers are auctioned off to be slaves for a day. Almost 50 uses of the words shit, bullshit or shittin. About 14 uses of the words fuck, fuckin or fucked. About 17 uses of the words bitch, bitchy, son-of-a-bitch. Other language includes asshole, assholish, gook, dick, dickhead, fag, big-tittied, porch monkey, bastard, goddamn, pussy, poontang, etc.

- “..making out with A in the water.. she already had her bikini top off.”

- “..bitches exaggerated everything. ..he blamed it on the alcohol.”

- “..colder’n Dracula’s dick..”

- “..she.. stars in most of the wet dreams of the class of ’97.”

- “..carry beepers in case one of their junior-high customers needs a fix.”

- “..ones who aren’t pregnant dress like they hope to be soon. ..halter tops and see through blouses.”

- “..his photographers to stoned to shoot..”

- “..PRINCIPAL SHOWS OFF ERECTION. ..had only distributed 50 of the [year]books.. use razor blades [to] cut out the headline..”

- “..mega-red lipstick that she calls ‘slut red’’.. guys who think they might have a shot at rounding 3rd without marrying you first… get my dick hard thinkin’ ‘bout J in her pep squad skirt and slut red lipstick.”

- “BIRTH CONTROL PILLS FOUND IN DEAD DAUGHTER”S PURSE is how they would run it. ..never set out to get drunk on school nights; shit just happens. ..Naturally, there was a keg.. 2 guys.. kept filling our cups.”

- “..D was pretty wasted.. haven’t been this drunk since we all went skinny-dipping..”

- “Bite me,… Lookin” fer love.. in all the wrong places,..”

- “[teacher] probably beats off, thinking about turning in failing grades.”

- “..tells me she’s late. …Late late you mean? Yeah.. I got the morning sickness.. throwing up. ..Day L got her period [I celebrated by eating a lot].”

- “..white girls will get drunk and pull you into some closet at a party… Then act like it never happened? C ain’t like that. She’s a player. Or a liberal. …doesn’t care that ‘bout 1/2 the white guys in school won’t touch her ‘cuz she’s dated a couple of brothas.”

- “..I’m givin’ it 110%. She thinks we should just wait. I don’t know what for… she told me she loved me..”

- “..she’d be willng to do ‘bout 1/2 the junior class. ..but who says you gotta make her your girlfriend? You don’t see T tyin’ himself down. …why ain’t you plowin’ through this infinite supply of poontang? ..plenty o’ girls here who’d be willing to go the extra mile to keep their boyfriend happy.”

- “..perpetual nipple hard-on frigidity.”

- “..handcuff me to the headboard if you think I’m gonna sprint.. big purse, for sneakin bottles into football games..”

- “..gravity-defying breastal appendages.. a walk that L calls the Sexual Preference Checker. If you don’t get a bit stiff watching that… you can bet on being a charter member of the RuPaul fan club.”

- “Solids or stripes? [she] ask him. What? ..Thought you were playing pocket pool. ..You must be stark raving.. if you think I’m shaking that thing. I know where it’s been.”

- “..PERPETUALLY HORNY/GEEKY..”

- “..was seeing my shrink about nymphomia… [teacher] gets red-faced and flustered and says T, please. I aim to. Still he hasn’t done anything that would get him fired yet. Maybe he’s gay.”

- “Do you think [my dad] will include the part about knocking up the richest girl in town? From what I gather, that’s the most important step in a quick rise to power.”

- “..OBLIVIOUS TO THE FACT HIS GIRLFRIEND IS OUT COPULATING WITH TT.”

- “..MARVELING OVER THE SIZE OF B’S HARD ‘DISK’… NO ONES TOLD HER THE REAL REASON WE CALL B ‘MICROSOFT’.. my ‘making it’ with T is paying out at 1000 to 1..”

- “Blow me,..”

- “..he tries to keep up when those 2 start drinking. ..he’s been drinking a lot lately..”

- “..ain’t seen the inside of a church since he went out with L, daughter of Pastor,… long enough to ‘teach her how to drive standard.’ that’s what T calls it. You figure it out.”

- “..you hit a brother hard enough he just folds..”

- “I am Robert E. Lee, and if you were a slave, I slept with your mothers, daughters, sisters and wives.”

- “It always comes down to this-put out or shut up. ..can’t just say.. enough.. have to actually take his hands off me. ..Don’t you ever get turned on? Is it ever hard for you to stop? ..I just know how to keep my head, and he says,.. I’m hopin’ you’ll learn how to give it.”

- “..you wastes of sperm,..”

- “I’m a domitrax, I say. ..dresses like some inbred moonshiner’s wet dream - butt-revealing cutoffs and halters. ..maybe you could come up to my flat… Why doesn’t he just ask if I’m interested in seeing his ceiling?”

- “..PO’d mom who stepped on a used rubber while strollin’ through the park. ..may sound sick.. like I’m goin’ homo.. can’t help thinkin’ he would be a pretty girl. ..He peels back the foil.. white tablet. …recall someone,,, sayin’… if you put aspirin in a girl’s coke she goes.. totally nympho, but I filed that with the one about growin’ hair on your palms from you know what. …It’s X man! …not worried ‘bout me being in the mood. It’s for her. Does she know about it? I wanna surprise her… know.. he plans on slippin’ it to her.”

- “Don’t know what he’s all in heat for. ..nothing to pop a chubby over.”

- “What do you want to bet? Sexual favors?”

- “So I guess a blow job is out of the question.”

- “You must sell a lot of cocaine to be able to afford an apartment like this!.. Send over the cabana boy. I need a rubdown.”

- “Cramps?, T asks. You want a Midol? No, it’s not that-just boy trouble. Valium?”

- “..we’re gonna get our dicks handed to us..”

- “Once he forwarded all of Domino’s incoming calls to the local adult bookstore. ..taped calls. ..woman saying, I’d like a large pepperoni. Wouldn’t we all answers the porn dealer.”

- “..Mission of God Baptists.. They’re not so tight-assed once you get some Boone’s Farm into ‘em.”

- “I notice.. [dad’s] whiskey bottle open on his desk… If his liver holds up, he might outlive... [her brothers] so he can cheat them out of an inheritance.”

- “..we need.. a hacker who could.. destroy all the files. ..You know one? Know one? I say. I own one.”

- “..chugging a 2nd.. Slow down… Captain Morgan can sneak up on you.. he’s got me down to my Calvins in a game of strip 8-ball. ..mention of strip pool has given me a minor woody… pours me another.”

- “..stories about Richard Gere and his pet gerbils.”

- “My impressions are available at alt.sex.fetish on the World Wide Web. ..How many rum and Cokes have I had?”

- “..I climbed into the back with C. ..underneath him with my uniform 1/2 off. His hands are inching up the back of my thighs.. fingertips start prying at.. my panties. He’s.. grinding up against me.. kinda hurts, but kinda feels good.. His hands make it inside my panties. ..lifts my butt and presses his crotch even harder against me.. feel his fingers start to make their way around to the front of me. .. I feel his finger slip inside of me. It’s cold. ..he starts unbuttoning his jeans.. he pulls it out, and it’s right there in front of me. ..pointing straight up.. I’ve always pictured them… pointing out instead of up. [he] takes my hands, and starts pulling them towards his thing. [she refuses to have sex with him and he jumps out and runs off]”

- Attempted rape of girl drugged: “..hear this sobbin’. ..[from] T’s Mustang… Cryin’. ..hear M sayin’, Please stop. Please stop. ..see T’s.. head. I assume M’s underneath him… It’s all right. Come on. No one will know. ..Druggin’ girls… I.. reach inside.. grab T round his neck, and pull.. M.. pukin’ all over the floor mats.

- “..references to Glocks, pimps, bitches, and blunts.”

- “..hear you bangin’ T all day.”

- “S hands me her 44 oz.. mug.. instant Bacardi party.”

- In Fairfax County Public School Elementary and Middle School Library System

___________________________________________________

"Smack"

Burgess, Melvin
AVON BOOKS, INC.
Paperback, 288 pages without “glossary”
Copyright 1996

- From the back cover of the book one knows the book is about “two runaways descent into heroin addiction” and it has “sex and drugs.” They are both 14-years old.

- Language includes 10-20 uses each of bitch, bastard, and variations of fuck and shit.

- G is spending night in car with her boyfriend, T, before he runs away: “G didn’t stop him when his hand.. under her top… felt his hand sliding down her tummy she slapped his finger. ..Not here…” They don’t have sex. Later G runs away to be with him.

- “If I had my way, all the darkies’d get sent home. Why not?”

- smoking joints: “..smoke masses of this stuff in the Navy.. great British tradition of drug taking..” more pot smoking

- We learn T’s mom and dad are drunks and they fight all the time. Dad beat him, mom manipulates him

- After T runs away, but before G has, she is under tight discipline with her parents: “..they thought that the moment I had a spare minute, I’d be peeling my knickers off and diving into the boys’ toilets. ..I’m STILL A VIRGIN! I scream from the top of the stairs… got accused of smoking and sniffing glue.. true some of the kids did it but all I’d ever done was smoke a bit of hash. ..parents.. Slippery Slope school… be a junkie whore by midnight.”

- G runs away to see T: “..hugged him and kissed him.. squashed my boobs against his chest… pressing myself into him and pulling him against me..”

- They meet people.. drink.. go out and glue locks in town as part of an anarchist statement

- They have first sex. T doesn’t have any condoms so he goes looking for them in the house they are squatting at: “..going to borrow some off [them]… first time.. didn’t want to use boring old borrowed anarchist condoms!” They won’t lend them but they have sex [non-explicit] anyway

- G starts smoking dope

- She likes being runaway:” ..could spend the night with boyfriend. [friends] passed joints to me.”

- G and T go out, she holds T’s hand between her thighs, at club band is screaming “FUCK OFF” and spitting at the crowd, she “screamed with pleasure”, .. so obscene and rude and wonderful, she meets punk guy, he asks her to his place to sleep with him, she tells T she is going back to guy’s place, but changes mind on way, but regrets not going with him afterwards, she likes T but…

- More getting stoned, more getting stoned, hash cookies, more joints, booze, more joints, “..stoned out of my tree.”, meets girl with see through vest, “more or less naked”, could see her bare [ass], more joints, another joint, G thinks T wants to get look at the girl’s “boobs”, but doesn’t want to upset R [her boyfriend], “Actually R would have lifted up the string vest for them if he’d asked.”, G and T go to visit T and his girlfriend L., “..L grabbed hold of [T].. and pulled my head down and started kissing me and pushing into me.. mean she was wearing nothing and R was right there.. So I kissed her back and rubbed my hands all over her and made the most of it.. G talks to her new friends L and T about her living there but her “giving [T] the elbow,.. R rolls [big joint] to celebrate G is going to live [squat] with L&R

- “had a few joints..”

- Shoplifting food and booze, L&T do “chases” [heroin], L&R convince G&T to do heroin, G decides to stay with T, and they both live with L&T, L was “..put in homes with bastards” who did things to me you can’t even talk about” when she was younger and giving her parents and school trouble, R and L give shoplifting instructions and training to T and G.

- The 4 of them are happy and partying, boozing and smoking joints, “D, the dealer.. sometimes… rolls joint after joint..”

- “R had his first joint when he was.. 8. ..people who smoke hash.. rolls his first joint as.. he gets up.. doesn’t tell his mum [he uses heroin].. people can’t handle junk… have to be special to be able to use it.”

- “Junk.. don’t tell them.. They have their drugs-hash.. speed.. booze.. lot of drugs around here.. part of life.. make you feel good.. take you to another planet.. fun.. make you feel good.. powerful.. dangerous. So’s life. If you’re in control, then it’s ok. They never dare tell you that, of course.. big mind control. Tobacco, booze, medicine - good; hash, acid, junk - bad.” Long discussion of why legal drugs no better than illegal. “..like to smoke.. hash. ..breathe in a little smack.. feel good.. heroin’s the best.. BEST… Acid.. hash.. heroin, ahh. sit in sewer and feel good.. feel better than anyone else ever did. ..feel better than.. ” Talks about L&R having problem with heroin, getting clean for a month, taking loads again with L, R’s shooting up addiction, shooting up gin and vodka, how they are stronger than heroin and how they use it for a few days and go off a few days.

- T and R shoplifting and stealing and dealing drugs, swinging out over street on swing naked, all being “in love with one another.”

- More on dealing, taking drugs, breaking and entering liquor store.

- They light candles, incense and ask “Sky Bible” what to do. R says “have sex in an armchair” and L says “do some heroin” and T says “what it said last time” and L says “Sky Bible knows how to have a good time”. Talk of them all doing heroin chases.

- They have heroin binge, couple gram, couple more gram, bag, then coming down feeling horrible with L the worse. L goes out, comes back with money to buy heroin. She made money as prostitute. They buy drugs and smoke and shoot up. L gives long description of how easy prostitution is and how it is done: “..money’s easy.. earn it standing in a doorway or flat on your back or.. in someone’s car. You use your body same as other [laborers].. Easy money.. [less] demeaning as going out to work five days a week.. who’s the sucker?”

- They are dealing even to children as young as 12 and 13 who “don’t take smack to have a good time. They take it to escape.” These children are prostitutes for “men who want girls that young.. no other way they can earn money.. spend a couple a days a week on your back..[girl younger then] teenager.. dresses up in make-up and high heels. ..does a trick.. spend the money on sweets and heroin.. I take care of myself.. make sure [men] use a condom.. don’t work streets.. massage parlour.. don’t share needles, except with T.. can stop [heroin] whenever I want.. don’t have AIDS.. [not] even.. non-specific urethritis. L.. works on the street.. things happen [she gets beat].. back on the street that evening.. proud of it.. parlour.. nice and clean.. better class of [men]… if.. customer’s [smelly].. say.. massage [after] you’ve had your shower.. if someone asks you to do something kinky.. J.. shows them the door. ..offers [man] to one of the other girls for extra money.. E.. doesn’t care.. public service, really.. queue of men in the waiting room.. don’t get it at home.. Pervert Prevention Duty.. 15 years old, 300 quid a week.”

- “..trouble with most people. they want to live forever.. living your life.. [if] that means you’ll be dead in 3 years, that’s ok by you,.. if you don’t mind not reaching 20 there’s no argument against heroin,..”, dealing, couple of friends overdose, they find them with needles in their arms, take their dope, joke, “..ounce.. more than I’d ever seen.. ..probably dead pure.. giggled.. you know, dead pure.”

- “..watch S push down the needle… took the needle out of her arm. ..separate needles.. since we started work [prostitution].. only ever share with T.. I got.. AIDS, he’d get it anyway. ..L said.. going to have a baby. Christ! Oh my God!.. was awful. S was pregnant a while ago.. had an abortion.. felt dreadful.. dead babies come back and haunt you.. dead babies floating on the ceiling looking for their mums.. mums had them scraped out.. never had a life.. remembering.. when S had her abortion.. not gonna kill my baby [L said].. You’re on the game.. you’re a junkie, L.. ought to have an abortion… for the sake of your baby [S says].. baby is a junkie.. full of junk, same as you.. birth to a junkie?.. fucking junkie, are you telling me I’d be better off dead because I’m a junkie?.. I can give it up any time.. S just laughed.. [lost count].. times we’d tried.. shivers.. aches.. cramps.. teeth aching.. bones.. hurt.. throwing up.. one little needle and Lady Heroin make you feel,, mmmm. ..baby… it could be anyone’s.””

- “..had a love affair [with heroin].. now it’s over.. get led out of it by a little baby.. like baby Jesus.. smack.. chasing that dragon, chasing that hit.. feel-good feeling.. when you’re clean, that’s when it works so well.. take a hit and mmmmmmmmmm!.. none left.. Shit.. coming down.. “ T sneaks off and does some but lies about it and doesn’t share with G. [says] “he needs it more than me. I have to go and rub up old men.. Does he think that’s fun?.. I like that?.. What if I got pregnant?.. just a job.. easy money.. no worse than any other job.. just something you do with your body.. guys.. looking like dogs.. walk out [of parlour] like princes.. never get a girl like me if they couldn’t pay for it.. easy money.. thinking I’ll stop doing tricks at work - I mean, full sex.. don’t earn as much but you can still do all right… L turned blue the other day.. all.. in.. bedroom with the works.. taking turns.. Blue.. saw needle in her arm.. little blood had found its way into the works.. tore the needle out.. ripped her arm.. black blood oozed out of the hole.. bluer and bluer.. slapping her face, whack, whack, whack.. she twitched.. breath.. coming back from the dead with some terrible message for us.. made.. joke.. Live fast, die young.. dying.. just another adventure.. stuff was stronger than usual.. it’s just a blob of jelly at this point, it isn’t a person or anything.. whatever it is went blue inside her as well.. If she has a miscarriage I’ll think about that all the time.”

- They try to get off smack by going to a country house: “.. finished off the last of our smack.. had.. a dab, just to get us to bed that night..” On the drive there they smoke spliffs, had a few joints, talk “No more hand jobs.. No more hand jobs ‘cause now I’m free-ee.. thinking, Who’s going to make it?.. “ They do their last heroin, drink beer, R has a secret supply he takes a dab from to keep “heebie jeebies” away, they smoke more joints and hash, T goes to village to get booze, L demands some of the stash R has brought, no needles so they have to chase, screaming and yelling fighting, G asks R for some of the stuff he brought, they don’t even stay a 2nd night, silent drive home, T is already there, having hitchhiked back, and has already “..scored.. got my works together.. did it..”

- “..whole street is black… Muggings, drugs, prostitution.. never even saw a darkie when.. was a girl.. taught you that darkies ate you when she was a kid.. riots.. Blacks.. As usual.. painted Fat Jew bastard [on my shop].. darkie don’t even know what persecution is.. knew [the girl].. She used to work down the massage parlour.. [go there] once in a while. If my horse comes up, or.. brother comes over from Spain.. she was very young.. I like that.. this one liked me.. if they don’t fancy you.. they up the price.. but.. she’d always give me what I wanted.. she’d finish me off.. like to think she liked me.. maybe she was just good at her job.. other girls did you off and then wanted you.. out.. She had some odd views on being a whore.. blokes.. get so frustrated.. they’d be.. committing sex crimes. ..I know none of the girls respect the customers. That’s the trouble with whoring as a profession… saw the track marks on her arm.. told.. owner.. didn’t want [her] after that.. AIDS.. Sharing needles.. get sloppy when they’re doing junk.. I have my pride.. don’t have to do it with a junkie.”

- T gets arrested for drugs, “l was still jacking up when.. pregnant.. how can you be a good mother on smack?… jacking up when she was breast feeding.. veins in her arms and.. knees have gone.. injects into the veins between her breasts.. baby on the breast poking about to find a vein. Nice fat veins when your tits are big and milky, she said. that’s junk.. Smack makes it all distant..” While T is in jail, G gives up prostitution and cuts back on the heroin. T goes cold turkey [in jail.]

- “..counsellor.. used to be alcoholic.. eat his own sick in the morning, so’s not to waste the booze.. drink as soon as he woke up.. reject it.. vomit.. catch it in his hands and drink it back down.. speed addicts, heroin junkies, people on barbituates,.. valium.. stoned on Valium all the time..”

- T wonders about his mom while in therapy: “..he’s got the muscles.. loses it every now and then.. lashes out.. Maybe she wanted him [his dad] to hit her. maybe it suited her… I don’t believe in anything any more.”

- “[G].. cut… down on the smack.. [only every day or 2].. We did a little one together.. did a chase so T wouldn’t see any marks on her.. [no] needle in weeks.” T comes home to G, L and R. they have party. “Noticed R was missing.. found him.. doing one in the bathroom. And guess who was there with him.. saying.. just having a hit because it was a big day.. L.. looking [all around room] says.. can’t find God anywhere. God.. was what she thought T [was talking about].. he hadn’t used for over a month. Lucky bastard, you could see by the look on his face. He felt good… only had a chase.. didn’t use as needle.. L… started digging about for a vein behind her knees.. lecturing him about junk with a needle stuck up your arse.. fucking slag! Are you calling me a junkie? [L says].. “

- “..you said you’d been clean for a month.. what were you on last night?.. downers, I took some barbs to help me through the first night, but they’re gone now. I can’t do it. ..just a junkie.. just a junkie.. [they give R some pain killers].. she’d had them prescribed for her periods, which had been really bad ever since she’d had a coil fitted. ..T wouldn’t have any of it.. was.. going.. to get.. heroin.”

- “..ripped the door open and L fell onto me.. [baby] in one arm.. hand at her throat.. throat was red.. wearing only her dressing gown.. [she] . threw up.. was a punter [trick].. he got her to undress.. asked her to.. something she didn’t want to do.. she said no.. shook her.. L tried to scream to alert R, who always waited downstairs with a baseball bat.. but the guy clasped his hand over her mouth.. shoved her over the bed.. put [tights] round her neck and pulled them tight, really tight. He really pulled them tight.. kept half strangling her and then letting go, just enough for her to know he could kill her if she didn’t do what he wanted.. then he’d squeeze tight again. He was doing these things to her when she was being strangled.. flipped over onto her back and kicked him off.. he bent her arm.. he got the tights back on [her neck] again and carried on with what he was doing.. tightening the tights around her neck.. he’d finished.. walked out of the bedroom and downstairs..” R calls police, L is mad cause house is full of drugs, needles “needles, weighing scales, heroin.. She was still naked.. grabbed gown.. and came [over] to our place.” G makes the baby a bottle while noticing her pregnancy test has a positive ring. G and T discuss letting L and R stay with them but T says, ”..R be wanting to carry on dealing and we can’t have 2 dealers in one house.. L got hooked in Manchester.. [G] didn’t tell [R] about.. being pregnant.. want me to keep it.. like L and R.. stupid. We’re both junkies.. awful thing is-I want to have it.. R bastard.. lies.. cheats.. pinches my money.. nicks our stash.. takes the smack and goes away and doesn’t come back till he’s finished it.. you look in [L’s] baby’s eyes-he’s full of it-junk.. must get it through the milk. She even rubs a few grains on his gums.. He’s a junkie.. been a junkie all his little life, he was a junkie before he was even born.”

- “The first thing was coming down off the methadone.. been on.. over a year.. was using all the time as well.. not all the time.. lot of the time.. selling.. methadone to buy smack.. plenty of methadone users.. don’t use needles, stick to chases.. Coming off methadone.. worse than.. junk.. feel bad.. sweating this horrid yellow juice that stung.. toothache.. heartless bitch was going to give me nothing.. valium[?].. Sorry.. You’ll eat shit.. do whatever you have to do to get your next hit.. R.. selling sex to homos in the public toilets. L went mad when she found out.. was all right her doing it at home, but him doing it with men-she just went ape.. I was [stealing].. From [friends].. G stopped doing [prostitution] at the parlour.. heavy user though.. much as me.. I was using a lot.. [L] standing there… in her short nightie with her beautiful legs all covered with needle bruises..”

- T gets out of jail, G gets out of rehab with baby, they get together: “..hopped into bed [naked].. he kissed me and stroked me and touched me.. was horrible.. didn’t want to be there with him.. We did it in the end. It wasn’t easy. ..I was as dry as yer dad’s handkerchief, but I managed to concentrate.. was all right in the end.. picked up [baby] and crept out of the room.”

- T’s dad thinking about how he and his wife have been alcoholics: “..smell long-term alcoholics have.. warm urinous smell.. final humiliation.. fell asleep [at work meeting].. woke up with someone shaking my arm.. think you’ve had a bit of an accident,, the smell, then the warmth on my lap turning cold.. walked out.. held [magazine] in front of me.. saying.. This is a dream.. bastards. they could have just tiptoed out…. the smell.. drips coming off the edge of the chair onto the carpet.. great wet patch spreading over the front of my trousers.. All [T].. wants to talk about is me being a bastard.. hitting her, hitting him. ..we’ve both lost our relationships, we’ve both lost our children. We’ve both been addicted”

- T has new girlfriend. He sees G every few months because of their baby. Still takes 5 mils of methadone every day. His girlfriend knows. He keeps slipping up and doing heroin. But just a few times… He doesn’t tell G or his new girlfriend that he still uses.

- In Fairfax County Public School Middle and High School Library System

___________________________________________________

"Snow falling on cedars"

Guterson, David
Vintage Books
Paperback, 460 pages
Copyright 1995

- “Fuck you anyhow….”

- “.. noted the girth and heft of (CH’s) sexual organs…..his testicles were taut and hairless…. And his penis, at least as twice as large as (his) own, even frozen…”

- “Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ”

- “.. predicted white men would….. seek to destroy her virginity…white men carried a secret lust for pure young Japanese girls….. They were dangerous egomaniacs…. Stay away from white men,…”

- “She thought of him while…..kissed the undersides of her breasts, and then her nipples….soon, she would feel another boy’s hardness deep inside of her” …..

“She put her hand around (his) hardness, and squeezed it, and it pulsed once in her hand…. The head of his penis found the place it wanted….entered her so that she felt his scrotum slap against her skin.”

- “…her breasts were beginning to show beneath her bathing suit. They were small and hard…”

- “He wondered ………if his voyeurism constituted a disease.”

- Lots of use of word “Jap”

- “…his chest twitched…and blood ran from his mouth and down his cheeks…The smell of breakfast soon rose from the German boy’s bowels.”

- “….pressed back, her hips leaving the moss, her legs open beneath her skirt. He felt her breasts and grazed the waistband of her underwear…”

- “Sometimes….he…would take himself in his hand….He would think about (her) while he touched himself”

- “…kiss and touch…pressed against him…moved his hands…slowly up her thighs and over her underpants..and pulled her hand against him…felt how hard he was and pressed back into his hardness…could feel the hard length of him..arched her breasts…moved his tongue against her nipples…both hands felt his hardness…hand inside her panties…peeling them down…pulling his pants to his knees…he pushed..inside of her, all the way in, his hardness filling her…..”

- Vivid descriptions of vomiting and excrement in Japanese internment camp

- “..cried when her hymen broke..”

- Lots of vulgar language especially in chapters on war. Fucking this and fucking that.

- “Holy shit…Goddamn it to hell, the motherfuckers, goddamn those assholes, the fucking shitheads, goddamn it…”

- Vivid bloody descriptions of war wounds/death

- “…cowards who ought to have your balls chewed off real slow and painful like…..cornhole-fuckers ….jackoff artists with half-inch hard ons…once a year when you can get your sorry dicks to stand at half mast…”

- “that fucking goddamn Jap bitch”

- “Jesus fucking Christ” (numerous)

- “..he moved his lips..down..between her breasts…….She pushed back against him with the muscles of her pelvis,…”

- “….did not want to be foremost a pair of breasts, but …. She was proud of herself.”

- “…moved from position to position, trying everything,….when she was close to coming she retreated…so her excitement became more desperate…She often came this way…press on toward a second coming that the pastor at … Church could neither approve…”

- “behind her he massaged…. Her buttocks…he lifted her skirt and slid her underpants out of the way…she shut her eyes and rocked.”

- “Their marriage had largely been about sex……She washed his large penis and felt it harden in her fingers….his face against her breasts…licking them.”

- “ …he could no longer achieve an erection….it would wither in his hand before he had a chance to take pleasure from it.”

- “Occasionally he attempted unsuccessfully to masturbate…”

- “..how the invasion of his penis had brought a truth with it she would discover in no other way……He had not come…”

- “Once every two weeks or so he masturbated into the folds of his handkerchief, ..”

Excerpts from Staff and wire reports

Posted: Sept. 9, 1999

BOERNE -- A decision to ban an award-winning book from classes in Boerne schools led officials Thursday to create a board to review all outside reading assigned by the district's English teachers

"The board will have the final say to make sure texts are in keeping with our curriculum standards," said Mary Alice Smallbone, assistant principal at Boerne High School, where a teacher was formally reprimanded Thursday for assigning seniors to read the novel "Snow Falling on Cedars."

The school district banned "Snow Falling on Cedars" from classes and removed it from a school library last week because administrators say it contains graphic violence, racial bigotry and honeymoon sex.

Boerne schools Superintendent John Kelly called parts of the book "highly offensive" and said he ordered it removed from the library and barred from classes.

- One of the ten most challenged books of 1999; challenged for sexual content and offensive language.

- On the Fairfax County Public Schools Summer 2000 Suggested Reading List For Rising Eleventh and Twelfth Graders

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"Song of Solomon"

Morrison, Toni
Penguin Books
Paperback, Approx. 350 pages
Copyright 1977

- From introduction extract of review by the Village Voice: “...One closes the book warmed by the richness of its sympathy, and by its breathtaking feel for the nature of sexual sorrow.”

- “..before her husband.. came home.. she called her son to her... unbuttoned her blouse and smiled.. too young to be dazzled by her nipples.. old enough to be bored by the flat taste of mother’s milk.. came reluctantly as to a chore.. tried to pull the milk from her chest.. without hurting her with his teeth... pleasure she hated to give up..” She is observed in this. “..terror.. sprang.. to [her] eyes... realization she was about to lose.. half of what made her.. life bearable... jumped up as quickly as she could and covered her breast.. confirming for him that these afternoons were strange and wrong..” Janitor says:” knew a family-the mother wasn’t to quick.. nursed.. till the boy.. was 13.. bit much, ain’t it?.. gave a long low chuckle.. A milkman.. A natural milkman.. Look out womens. Here he come.”

- “Each eye of her corset he toyed with.. top of her bodice he unlaced.. teasing her and him with the sounds of the snaps.. never spoke during these undressings.. as when children play ‘doctor’ undressing of course was the best part. When R. was naked and lying there.. unlace[d] her shoes.. entered her and ejaculated quickly. She liked it that way. So did he.. in almost 20 years.. he had not laid eyes on her naked feet, he missed only the underwear.”

- “..nigger in business is a terrible thing to see.”

- Drunk on roof with shotgun yelling to crowd below: “ I want to fuck! Send me up somebody to fuck!.. or.. [I’ll] blow my brains out!.. [crowd yells] kill yourself first and then we’ll send you somebody. Do it have to be a woman?.. got to be human?.. got to be alive?.. Put that [gun] down and throw me my goddam [rent] money!.. Float those dollars down her, nigger, then blow yourself up!.. better not miss. If you take a shot.. cause.. I’m gonna shoot your balls up in your throat.. get the hell outta that window.. [drunk] pulled out his penis and in a high arc peed over the heads of the women, making them scream and run... I love ya! I love ya all... What in the fuckin world am I gonna dooooo?... Come down outta there, nigger!”

- “General Lee [a pig] was alright by me.. Even his balls were tasty... White people love their dogs. Kill a nigger and comb their hair at the same time.”

- “He ain’t old enough to have wet dreams.”

- “..was 22 then.. been fucking for 6 years, some of the time with the same woman, he’d begun to see his mother in a new light.”

- “..keep you from fucking it up.... What goddam children?”

- Father telling son about his wife’s [son’s mom’s] father: “..was biggest Negro in this city.. he sniffed ether.. Negroes in this town worshiped him. He didn’t give a damn about them, though. Called them cannibals.. delivered both your sisters.. interested in.. the color of their skin.. nothing nastier than a father delivering his own daughter’s baby... She had her legs wide open and he was there.. was a man before he was a doctor. ..he took sick.. he died... In the bed. That’s where she was when I opened the door. Lying next to him. Naked.. kissing him. Him dead and white and puffy.. she had his fingers in her mouth.. I had a terrible time after that.. thinking all sorts of things. If [your sisters] were my children. I come to know pretty quick they were.. that bastard couldn’t fuck nothing. Ether took care of whatever he had in that area.. he wouldn’t have been so worried about skin color.. unless they were coming from me.. not saying they had contact.. lots of things a man can do to please a woman, even if he can’t fuck.. she was in that bed sucking his fingers.. when he was dead.. what’d she do when she was alive? Nothing to do but kill a woman like that.. regret she talked me out of killing her... Was it true.. had his mother made it with her own father?.. What the fuck did he tell me all that shit for?... Strange motherfuckers.. whole family was a bunch of crazies. P. singing all day and talking off the wall. R. turning on for anything in pants... what did he let you marry his daughter for? So he could screw her without the neighbors knowing it?.. If he had given you [that money].. he could have had her all he liked., right?.. could have come in your bed.. 3 of you could have had a ball. He’d get one tit and you’d get.. picture developing, of 2 men in.. bed with his mother, each nibbling on a breast..”

- “My mother nursed me when I was old enough to talk, stand up, and wear knickers.. if she did that when there was no reason for it... maybe she did other things with her father.. his mother had been portrayed.. as an obscene child playing dirty games with whatever male was near-be it her father or her son.”

- “What the fuck.. kid is stomped.. some cracker put it in the paper.. stomped.. Cause he whistled at some Scarlett O’Hara cunt. ..Tell that nigger something.. ought to be enough colored blood on the streets. ..Spill the crackers blood that bashed his face in.... out of your fuckin mind? They’ll catch’ em.. give ’em” a big party and a medal.”

- “..daddy got his balls busted off... Shit... Whores worked the bar.. cruisers found chickens or hawks... How the fuck.. Cut the shit... fuckin radiator... shit... talking shit.. who cares if he fucks a white girl?.. fuck.. Niggers... No shit? No shit.... Like a fuckin sheep.”

- “..ease with which he had gotten and stayed between her legs... annoyance at her refusal to make him hustle for it, work for it,.. didn’t even have to pay for it.. free, so abundant... no excitement.. She was the 3rd beer.. the one you drink because it’s there.. because what difference does it make?.. it was she who called him into the bedroom and stood there smiling.. unbuttoned her blouse.”

- “..she whipped her right arm around his neck and positioned the knife at his... heart... man felt the knife point.. jabbed it skillfully,.. through his shirt into the skin.. holding his neck.. could feel the blood making his shirt sticky.. if I stick it in any deeper, it’ll go straight through your heart.... I’d hate to push it in more and have your mamma feel like I do now.”

- “What you going to do... Watch the lump grow in the little boy’s pants. ..jumped up to grab her, but she ran into the bedroom.. [she] was unbuttoning her blouse.. saw her breasts.”

- “..fuck-up world... bullshit lecture.. fuckin bullshit lecture.. some secret shit... spend 50% of your brainpower thinking about a piece of ass. You got that red-headed bitch and.. Southside bitch... Fuck... nigger heaven...”

- “..witch’s tit..”

- “.. girls or getting high... Pussy..”

- “..fuckin leaves.. give a shit.. shit.. nigger.. nigger.. nigger.. Shit.. fuckin glaciers ice your ass.. nigger.. move your ass.. bitch.. “

- His mom talking to him: “..I was 20 years old when your father stopped sleeping in bed with me..”

- “..married a white girl in France.. lived with her for 6 years.. came home to find her with another man. Another black man. ..his white wife not only loved him, not only this other black man, but the whole race..”

- “The knife struck his collarbone and angled off to his shoulder.. began to bleed.. H. raised the knife again.. [M. said] keep your hands that way.. bring them down straight, straight and fast.. drive that knife right smack in your cunt. Why don’t you do that?.. your problems will be over. He patted her cheek..”

- “..came out of his few days of sexual hypnosis in a rage.. later.. discovered her pregnancy, tried to get her to abort.. made her drink [castor oil].. soapy enema.. knitting needle (..she inserted only the tip, squatting in the bathroom..).. punched her in the stomach.. [P. said] ‘don’t take no more mess off [him] and don’t ram another thing up in your womb..”

- “..keeping her father alive even past the point where he wanted to be alive, past pain and on into disgust and horror at having to smell himself.. lingering in absolute hatred of this woman who would not grant him peace..”

- “..wouldn’t give a pile of swan shit..”

- “..then the preacher started pattin on me.. didn’t know enough to stop him.. his wife caught him at it, thumbin my breasts, and put me out.”

- “..although men fucked armless women, one-legged women, hunchbacks and blind women,.. midgets, small children, convicts, boys, sheep, dogs, goats,.. each other, and even a certain species of plants, they were terrified of fucking her... froze at the sight of that belly.. became limp even..”

- “..she paid close attention to her mentor-the [dead] father who appeared before her sometimes and told her things..”

- “..R. grew up and began to live from one orgasm to another, taking time out to produce one child..”

- “..stop smoking, fucking, drinking..”

- “..was killed after his balls were cut off.. You’re going to kill people? Not people. White people.. no innocent white people.. every one.. potential nigger-killer, if not an actual one.. Hitler’s the most natural white man in the world.. killed Jews and Gypsies because he didn’t have us... But people who lynch and slice off people’s balls-they’re crazy,.. how come Negroes, the craziest, most ignorant people.. don’t get that crazy.. White people are unnatural.. as race they are unnatural...The disease they have is in their blood, in.. their chromosomes..”

- “..when a cracker kills a Negro.. don’t give a shit what white people know or even think... G., none of that shit... Shit..”

- “Goddam!... raggedy-ass.. Son of a bitch.. nobody can fly with that shit.. Faggot... White faggot.”

- “..best news I’ve had since pussy... some shit... Fuck you.”

- “..motherfuckin life..” “..nigger..” “..yellowed-eyed nigger..” “..nigger.. bitch.. bitch.. shit.. crazy shit.. Nigger bitch..” “Fucks up your mind.. fucks it up..”

- “..[threw] him out of the.. party because he had peed in the kitchen sink.. stayed.. from light buzz to stoned, for 2 days and a night..”

- “..nigger.. Jesus God..” “Shit.”

- “..had dreams as a child.. of the witch who chased him.. would wake with scream and an erection. Now he had only the erection.”

- “..gonna-fuck-you-up..”

- “..watching their women and rubbing his fly.. pussy different up North?.. Pussy the same everywhere. Smell like the ocean; taste like the sea... Maybe the pricks is different.. Wee little.. Wee. wee little... That true?.. wouldn’t know.. never spent much time smacking my lips over another man’s dick... What about his asshole? Ever smack your lips over that?.. little young nigger made me mad and I had to jam Coke bottle up his ass... use a bottle..? Your cock wouldn’t fill it? It did. After I took the.. bottle out. Filled his mouth too. Prefer mouth, do you? If it’s big.. and ugly.. belongs to an ignorant motherfucker who is about to get the living shit whipped out of him. The knife glittered.. motherfucker.. did the best he could with a broken bottle.. stick that cocksucker.. If he’d had weapon he would have slaughtered everybody in sight.”

- “..toothless motherfucker.. Fuck ‘em.. nigger.. black Neanderthals.. Fuck ‘em.. meanest unhung niggers in the world.”

- “Son of a fuckin bitch!”

- “..this here nigger was the problem.. country niggers..” “..nigger..”

- “.. lovemaking to follow would be anything but anticlimatic... when the lovemaking came, he decide he would crawl.. He gave her 50 dollars.. She said please come back. He said I’ll see you tonight.”

- “..fuckin station.. Oh, shit... What the fuck.. you jive-as. What the fuck... you are fuckin with our work!”

- “..now it seemed to him that sexual deprivation would affect her... it would affect and hurt him.. may walk and live among women, you may even lust after them, but you will not make love for 20 years.. suppose he were married and his wife refused him..”

- “..he had the power to drive a woman out of her mind.. because he had fucked her, and she was driven wild by the absence of his magnificent joint. His hog’s gut.. Even the last time, he used her.. Die, H., die. Either this bitch dies or I do.”

- “Fuck ‘em.”

- “..son of a bitch.. motherfucker.. fuckin.. tribe of niggers.. shit!.. black ass..”

See www.newtotalitarians.com/SongOfSolomon.html for additional excerpts/review

- The 84th most challenged book of the 1990’s

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"Sophie's World"

Gaarder, Jostein
Joanna Colter Books
Hardback 106 pages
Copyright 1995

- Fictional novel mainly concerned with author’s views on philosophy using actual philosophers/ “deep thinkers” from history (Freud, Marx, Aristotle, etc.) to espouse personal viewpoint

- Various viewpoints on philosophy in book could be found objectionable

- Discussion on sex is generally along Freud’s “don’t feel guilty, just do it” theme: How parent telling child not to touch their sex organs is “sick”, is “beginning of guilt feelings about everything connected with the sex organs and sexuality and results in lifelong guilt about sex and “lifelong conflict between desire and guilt”…

- Dialogue from “philosophical garden” party: “Joanna left the table (pulling Jeremy with her)..They lay down on the grass and started kissing each other again … they rolled in under the … bushes… Nowadays it’s the girl who takes the initiative said Mr. I….he got up and went over to ..bushes ..observing the phenomenon at close quarters. The rest of the guests followed suit…. now stood in semicircle around Joanna and Jeremy…They can’t be stopped said Mrs. I not without a certain pride. …It can’t be helped (said Mr. I)… Jeremy was trying to unbutton Joanna’s white shirt….She was fumbling with his belt…Don’t catch cold! Said Mrs. I.”

- On the Fairfax County Public Schools Summer 2000 Suggested Reading List For Rising Eleventh and Twelfth Graders

- Used in some 10th grade combined English/History classes at Thomas Jefferson High School for Science and Technology

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"Speak"

Anderson, Laurie Halse
Puffin Books - Penguin Putman Books for Young Readers
197 pages
Copyright 1999

- Book is about a girl who was raped at party the summer before starting high school. Her rapist goes to her high school and attempts to rape her again during her freshman year. The book starts as her freshman year starts.

- “..Home of the Trojans didn’t send a strong abstinence message, so they [renamed us] Blue Devils.”

- “..jock thing. ..don’t care if people make comments about your boobs or rear end.”

- “..bitch.”

- Other students are mad at her because she called police when raped [but didn’t report it] and police broke up party and arrested some students: “My brother got arrested at that party. ..got fired because of the arrest. Asshole. ..My throat squeezes shut, as if 2 hands of black fingernails are clamped on my windpipe. ..worked so hard to forget.. stupid party.. hostile crowd that hates me for what I had to do.. can’t tell them what really happened.. can’t look at that part myself.. girl [with arrested brother] yanks my hair.. kid in front of me.. gives me dirty look.”

- “..closest we come to worship is the Trinity of Visa, Mastercard, and American Express. ..cheerleaders confuse me because I missed Sunday School. ..has to be a miracle. ..How else could they sleep with the football team on Saturday night and be reincarnated as virginal goddesses on Monday? ..2 realities.. In one.. Pride of the Trojans.. In.. 2.. wild parties.. rent beach houses.. get group rate abortions..”

- “..IT creeps up.. whispers to me.. Freshmeat.. found me again.. whispers to me.. I want to throw up.. I can smell him and I run.. He whispers in my ear.”

- “..open paperclip and scratch.. inside of my.. wrist. ..Pitiful. If a suicide attempt is a cry for help, then what is this? A whimper, a peep? I draw little windowcracks of blood, etching line after line until it stops hurting. ..looks like I arm-wrestled a rosebush.”

- Remembering her rape: “I tasted a beer. ..gulped it down. Another beer and 1 more.. worried I would throw up. ..walked out of the crowd, towards the woods. ..A step behind me. A senior. ..talking to me, flirting.. gorgeous cover-model guy. ..tanned muscle.. Flirting with me! ..You’re too beautiful to hide in the dark. ..dance with me. ..took my hand.. pulled me close.. breathed in cologne and beer.. fit in against his body perfectly.. I was.. dizzy.. my cheek on his chest. He wrapped an arm around my back. ..other hand slid down to my butt.. tilted my face up to his ..kissed me.. hard sweet and deep. Nearly knocked me off my feet.. kissed me again. ..teeth ground against my lips. ..hard to breathe.. Do you want to? he asked. ..were on ground. When did that happen? No. ..he was on top of me. ..I’m mumbling like a deranged drunk. His lips lock on.. twist my head away. He is so heavy. ..open my mouth to breath,.. scream.. his hand covers it. ..In my head.. NO I DON’T WANT TO! But I can’t spit it out.. wham! shirt up, shorts down.. he smells like beer and mean and he hurts me hurts me hurts me and gets up and zips his jeans and smiles.. in middle of drunken crowd called 911.. have your location. Officers.. on the way.. Someone grabbed phone.. listened. A scream-the cops were coming! ..Someone slapped me.. I walked home to an empty house.”

- “..stay after school to work on [art].. one of the places I feel safe.. Somebody flicks the lights off. ..IT is there. Andy Beast. ..heart leaps out of my chest.. I smell him.. cologne.. think it’s called Fear.. repeating nightmares.. IT: You seen Rachelle?.. I sit completely still.. blend in.. He walks toward me.. The smell chokes me. I shiver... It sits on my table, IT’s legs smear my.. drawing.. Hello? Anyone home? Are you deaf? IT stares at my face. I crush my jaws together.. deer frozen in .. headlights.. Is he going to hurt me again? He couldn’t, not in school. Could he?.. Why am I so afraid?.. Rachel sweeps in.. Andy puts his arm around her waist and pulls her close as the float out the door.. I walk home.. into my closet without even taking off my backpack.. close the door.. bury my face into cloths.. stuff my mouth with.. fabric and scream until there are no sounds left..”

- “Mom: You must be sick. You’re talking. Even she can hear how bitchy that sounds.”

- “..would speak in front of an auditorium.. on How Not to Lose Your Virginity. Or, Why Seniors Should Be Locked Up. Or, My Summer vacation: A Drunken Party, Lies and Rape. Was I raped? Oprah:.. You said no. He covered your mouth with his hand. You were 13 years old.. doesn’t matter that you were drunk.. you were raped.. horrible, horrible thing.. Sally Jessy:.. want this boy held responsible. He is to blame.. an attack.. not your fault.. boy was an animal. Jerry: ..love? No. ..lust? No. ..tenderness, sweetness, the First Time they talk about in magazines? No, no, no, no, no!... I just want to sleep.. coma would be nice.. amnesia. Anything, just to get rid of this... Did he rape my head, too?”

- “..writing on the walls [in toilet]..Who is A? I ask. ..she has pissed off a.. bunch of people.. wrote.. she’s a whore.. slept with this guy.. that guy.. slept with those guys at the same time. ..10th grader..”

- I says to her: “He’s [her rapist] only after one thing.. he’ll get it, no matter what. R [my friend] is going out with him.. add that to the list of stupid things she’s done this year... She’s a bitch.. thinks she’s too good for.. us.”

- “I didn’t call the cops to break up the party... guy raped me. Under the trees.. I was drunk and stupid and I didn’t know what was happening and he hurt-.. raped me... I couldn’t tell anybody. Does your mom know? [No].. you get pregnant? Did he have a disease?.. Who did it?.. Andy Evans. [the other girl, R’s boyfriend] Liar!.. can’t believe you. You’re jealous.. twisted little freak and your jealous I’m popular.. so you lie.. You’re so sick"

- She goes to a closet she has at the school:” Somebody slams into my chest and knocks me back into the closet. ..light flicks on.. door closes. I am trapped with A [her rapist]. He stares at me... loathsome.. gives of a smell that makes me afraid I’ll wet my pants.. cracks his knuckles.. You have a big mouth.. R blew me off at the prom.. bullshit story about I raped you.. that’s a lie.. never raped.. don’t have to. You wanted it just as bad as I did. But your feelings got hurt.. every girl in school is talking about me like I’m some kind of a pervert. ..spreading.. bullshit story.. [you’re] ugly, jealous.. can’t get a date?.. blocks my way.. You’re not going anywhere.. locks the door. ..strange bitch.. freak.. he grabs my wrists.. squeezes so tight it feels like my bones splintering. ..pins me against.. door.. You’re not going to scream. You didn’t scream before. You liked it. ..jealous I took out your friend.. I know what you want. His mouth is on my face.. His lips.. wet.. teeth knock against my cheekbone.. he slams his body against mine.. teeth are on my neck.. I.. whimper. He fumbles to hold both my wrists in 1 hand.. wants a free hand. I remember. Metal hands, hot knife hands. ..NNNOOO!!!.. pushing [him] off-balance.. into the.. sink. He curses.. fist coming.. explosion in my head.. blood in my mouth.. I scream, scream.. loud.. throw [bowl] at him.. books.. He grabs me, pulls me away from door.. hand over my mouth.. around my throat. ..His body crushes me.. [he] breaths like a dragon.. hand leaves my throat, attacks my body. I hit.. [piece of] wood against.. mirror.. Shards of glass.. my fingers around a triangle of glass. ..hold it to [his] neck. He freezes. I push just hard enough to raise 1 drop of blood. He raises his arms over his head. My hand quivers. ..want to insert the glass all the way through his throat.. want to hear him scream.. pounding on door. I unlock it.. N is there.. [with] lacrosse team--angry.. someone.. runs for help.”

- “..IT happened.. no avoiding.. no forgetting. AE raped me.. when I was drunk and too young to know what was happening... bruises are vivid, but they will fade.”

- In Fairfax County Public School Elementary and Middle School Library System

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"Stones from the River"

Hegi, Ursula
Simon and Schuster
Copyright 1994

- Story of a dwarf (T.) growing up in pre-war, wartime, and post-war Germany

- “As a child T. would scorn the patient fools who knelt in church..”

- “..when the circle of boys closed around her--those boys who spread her legs, who spread her soul until it felt as if that dried snot on her face would always be there, tightening on her skin like spilled egg whites..”

- “It was on that .. coat--spread on the floor.. of the hastily closed pay-library--that T. was conceived..”

- “after T.’s birth (her mom) fled from her bedroom... Blood from her hollowed womb had blossomed through the front of her ..nightgown by the time (the priest) found her behind.. (the) Church, her arms spread across the door....(T.’s dad) carried his wife home, wrapped in one of the alter cloths. Her blood seeped into the ancient lace..”

- “..(T.’s dad) try to wrap his limbs around (T.’s mom)..but she’d laugh ..an odd wild laugh that made his groin numb with coldness, and though she’d fit the skin of her body against his length, his genitals shrank from her..”

- “..(T.’s mom) had her dress unbuttoned (in church)... the next time..(T.’s dad) seen (T.’s mom) strolling toward the end of (the street), naked , her head held high."

- “(T.’s mom’s) hand...darted between (T.’s dad’s) legs. He leapt back..... stared at T. as if she’d caught him at something forbidden. ...Pope Leo T.’s mother sang out... holy man...your father Pope Leo the 17th who can’t get..”

- “E. stopped the motorcycle...the wide leather seat still held the warm imprint of her thighs. he let his palm rest on that imprint...she felt a sudden heat between her thighs... he embraced her..”

- “..if she had to use the toilet after he’d get out, she’d hold her pee because the air in there would be hazy with the stench of cigarettes and shit.”

- “..H. was afraid of--the kind of passion that came from drink, the kind of passion that had sent her stepfather into her room many nights when she was a girl. To her, drink meant a rough hand clasped across her mouth and the weight of sin on her body, a weight that a thousand rosaries still hadn’t negated....she took her son to Mass (every day) and prayed for his soul because the souls of men... were even darker than the souls of the woman they contaminated.”

- “The first sin he became proficient in was lying.”

- “It was in church that the children of (town) learned about sin.... Sin was touching yourself between the legs or letting someone else touch you there. Even thinking about that was sin and so was rubbing the washcloth there for too long. Some people had sins attached to them like second skins, even the sins of their parents. ...everyone in town knew that (the butcher had) been born 3 months after his parents’ wedding.”

- “Holding the kitten by its tail, he whirled.... his face oddly illuminated like the faces of saints when they’re performing miracles. ...His fist opened ....the kitten soared in a high arc toward the farthest wall, where its tiny body made an amazinglt loud thud before it plummeted to the ground. .... how limp and sticky the kitten felt in her hands. ..blood seeped from its mouth....”

- “..with each year of celibacy, L.’s eyes stored more passion. They’d keep fastening themselves to a woman until she’d feel compelled to look at him. His gaze.. with an undefined promise that could blind you. He’d feel alive, roused, when you eyes connected with his... It happened in church, in stores.......When the woman were near (him) they felt coveted yet virtuous... the yearning he evoked in them... they’d wonder what his hand would feel like if he were to loosen their hair and caress their faces... (or if) he would take them lying down or standing up against the wall... they could reassure themselves that nothing, really , had happened... made it possible for them to extend their tongues to receive the blessed sacrament and return to their husbands with their honor intact.”

- “(T.’s ) voice evoked your earliest longings--those ecstasies that had attached themselves safely to religion before you’d been given your family’s approval to aim those passions at one particular Catholic boy. To name those feelings any sooner could have led you to sin. It was wiser to postpone, to harness that passion into... feeling Christ’s ultimate pain--at 3 o’clock each Good Friday-- as the nails were pounded into his sacred palms.”

- “..you might wonder if the passions of those women who had become nuns had surpassed your own passions, and you’d feel jealous of their power because they were the ones who taught your children and whose authority was held above yours.”

- “..joke that his friend... kept circulating about people turning into virgins if they hadn’t had it -- and everyone knew what it was -- for 5 years.”

- “(The boys) were absorbed in a competition of making water farts. Each artillery of bubbles was greeted with hoots and laughter... taking loud gulps of air...force the air through their intestines. ....T. saw them the way they would never let any girl or adult see them... she was taking something from them...Those were the secrets she liked best--the ones that were stolen... like that day .. when (the baker) hissed at Fruau B. to keep her husband in her own bed....or (when) Frau A. had pressed her breasts against the arm of (her dad)..”

-The boys kick and throw rocks at her dog until he can’t stand. The boys pinch her breast. “..they dragged T. across the meadow...she screamed (broke away)... F. tripped her... (her hurt dog was) further and further behind... she felt .. horrified... at not being rescued before the boys got her to the ... Barn...she kept screaming....hands ...clamped across her mouth.. the worse thing was not that the boys tore off her swimsuit and fingered her breasts... they would have done that to other girls too; ...the worse thing was their curiosity.. hands that explored her difference...laughed at the way her neck grew thick from her torso, at the short span of her legs as they pulled them apart--not to plant themselves in her, no--but to see how far her thighs could be spread... she inspired their curiosity, not their desire...through her rage she felt a dreadful longing to be liked by them...”

- “..positioning the mirrors against her pillow so that they reflected most of her body ... the hooks of her corset had left crimson marks... and the indentations of her garters branded her bulky thighs.. Her breasts felt cold and she covered them with her hands. ...a tingling began in her nipples and, almost instantly , in her groin though she hadn’t touched herself there. The very first time her fingers had invoked that forbidden bliss ...., she felt stunned, ...by what she thought she surely must have invented. And ... had to be a sin. Anything that felt this fabulous surely had to be a sin. I don’t need K. for that ... I don’t need anyone. Her hands -- they knew what to do... images of K. became one with the boys in the barn, invoking the familiar terror that she needed to feed her sin ..... she didn’t know how to get to the bliss without it... fought the boys as they did to her--now, now--what they had not wanted to do to her in the barn, until the fat priest shouted from the pulpit...”

- “...what she sensed had to do with I’s father, with that discomfort she felt whenever she saw his eyes settle on his daughter with a look that no father should ever giver his daughter. She heard him chuckle, her him tell I. to wear decent clothes .....saw the shadow of I.’s father against the slanted ceiling of I.’s room, saw him lay one finger across I.’s lips as she sat up with a start in her bed.”

- “K. had brought F. to the wedding.... t. knew instantly they’d been sleeping together for some time... it was challenge to estimate the progress of a romance by watching people’s bodies... She could tell--even with those who sat stiffly, afraid to betray their lust by touching out of habit.”

- “The blood of Christus. When the fat priest raised the chalice, L. couldn’t help but think of centuries of savagery that had been committed for the blood of Christus. Catholic voodoo, he thought as the priest brought the chalice to his lips to drink the sacred blood, as the blood people of (town) stuck out their tongues to consume the body of Christus."

- “...he booked a room for them... she was terrified to take off her clothes and have him look at her with the same loathing she’d seen in her own eyes.... but M. was kissing her.... his hands were on her breasts, and she got confused for a moment, thinking they belonged to K. because they’d been his in those old fantasies, and she quickly opened her eyes and kept them open... he cried out under his rapid breath and ceased moving, poised above her...she felt left behind....she was not moved by the tremors she’d evoked for herself so many times.”

- “When T. did reach those tremors the next time... she felt horrified because she’d used him to slip back to the barn and the boys and the old terror that brought her, brought her.... ashamed of the fantasies that had claimed her, ashamed of the passion that needed fear.”

- “When they made love... it didn’t take any effort to ban the savage fantasies.....soared with him....”

- “He didn’t ask what those fantasies were like.... you may not need them again....But if you do its all right. Lots of people go away inside their heads when they make love.”

- “My watercolors. I --I’ll get embarrasses explaining this to you, but I think of them as orgasm pictures. That’s what I see when... He pointed to one by the table, another by the window. My best ones. Orgasms or paintings? She smiled. I can’t separate them.”

- “Each time they made love on the jetty, T. felt herself reclaiming the place a little more.”

- “If only M. were already with her: they could make love in the mist.... To the hell with the hiding....If it were up to her, she’d walk into the center of (town)... and make love in the church square...”

- “They didn’t have any idea that she’d known the naked man... for over 2 years...how, with one finger, he would trace her entire body...and how she’d quiver under his slow touch and discover her body through the gentle pressure of his hands.”

- “..shocked herself with the thought that it wouldn’t be all that difficult to get him into bed. It would serve M. right. ... That night, she felt so angry at M. for not coming back that she reached for herself, trying to bring herself to that warm yellow-orange blossom, but what she found herself spinning toward was the terror in the barn...”

- “K.B.’s American would...... take her down to the cellar where he’d thrust into her on the blankets he’d spread across the cement floor...”

- “He’d felt it within himself, had seen it in the eyes of other men. It made him feel dirty, made him spill himself inside whores instead of soiling a good women like M.”

- “Something happened in the seminary. I know it. .... Tell me. ... It’s so ugly... A group of seminarians had surrounded (him) outside the chapel...dragged him into the forest... knotted a rope tightly through the back loops of his trousers. After forcing castor oil down his throat, they hunted him through the woods with sticks, hissing ‘queer, filthy queer’ while he struggled to get his pants down and crouch.. to relieve the terrible pressure in his bowels. But their sticks kept him from untying the rope, and soon he was sobbing with humiliation while feces ran down his legs. ..Those bastards....You know what I kept thinking while they were chasing me? That I deserved it. Even though I never touched one of them. ... Those bastards.”

- On Fairfax County Public Schools Summer 2000 Suggested Reading List For Rising Eleventh and Twelfth Graders

___________________________________________________

”Stotan"

Crutcher, Chris

See www.classkc.org for excerpts

___________________________________________________

"Stuck Rubber Baby"

Cruse, Howard
Paradox Press
Approx. 210 pages
Copyright 1995

See www.librarypatrons.org for excerpts and explicit images in this "graphic novel"/comic book

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