Book Titles: H-L

- “..crazy nigger messed with a white lady today.”

- “Uncle W. ..never went to church, which [my brother] and I thought.. proved he was.. courageous... to be able to stare religion down..”

- “..I was described.. as being shit color..”

- “..white men wore shorts.. that.. had an opening for taking out their ‘things’ and peeing..”

- “..wanted to throw.. black pepper in their faces, to throw lye on them.. they were dirty scummy peckerwoods.. big girl.. did a hand stand.. dress fell down around her shoulders and she had on no drawers.. [her] slick pubic hair made a brown triangle where her legs came together.”

- “B. explained that Mr. W. was probably ‘doing it’ to her. He said that although ‘it’ was bad just about everyone in the world did it to somebody... we found out about a man who had been killed by whitefolks.. B. said the man’s thing had been cut off and put into his pocket and he had been shot in the head.. because.. he did ‘it’ to a white woman.”

- “..laughter in me trying to get out... pressed at all my body openings, forcing everything in its path. I cried and hollered, passed gas and urine.”

- “Hang ‘Em High, Alabama; Don’t Let the Sun Set on You Here Nigger, Mississippi..”

- “Should I throw myself into the pond, and not being able to swim, join the body of.. the boy who drowned..”

- “..taught me that once I got into a fight I should ‘grab for the balls right away’.”

- “..this nigger Patterson. Come over here and beat his ass. She crushed the mans head with a policeman’s billy enough to leave him just this side of death... I was thrilled by their meanness. They would beat up whites and Blacks with the same abandon,..”

- “Mother’s boyfriend, Mr. F., lived with us.. His breasts used to embarrass me... they lay on his chest like flat titties.”

- “..on my.. bad nights my mother would take me in to sleep with her, in the large bed with Mr. F. ..One morning she [left] for an early errand... I awoke to a pressure, a strange feeling on my left leg... it was his ‘thing’ on my leg. He said, Just stay right there.. I ain’t gonna hurt you. I wasn’t afraid.. I knew that.. people did ‘it’ and they used their ‘things’ to accomplish the deed... Mr. F. ..put his hand between my legs.. He threw back the blankets and his ‘thing’ stood up like a brown ear of corn. He took my hand and said ‘Feel it’. It was mushy and squirmy like the inside of a freshly killed chicken.. he dragged me on top of his chest.. right hand moving so fast and heart was beating so hard that I was afraid he would die... Would they have to break his arms to get me loose? Finally he was quiet, and then came the nice part. He held me.. softly.. he rolled over, leaving me in a wet place and stood up... pulled off his shorts.. and went into bathroom... came back with a glass of water...[said].. You peed in the bed.. poured water on the wet spot.. [he said] R., do you love your [brother]?... If you ever tell anyone what we did, I’ll have to kill [him].”

- “For weeks after he said nothing to me... I began to wait for him to come in from the yards... one evening.. I went over.. and sat quickly on his lap... felt a soft lump under my thigh begin to move.. twitched against me and started to harden.. he pulled me to his chest.. said, Sit still, stop squirming.. he pushed me round on his lap, then suddenly stood up.. He ran to the bathroom. for months he stopped speaking to me again.”

- “R., come here [Mr. F.] said.. his pants were open and his ‘thing’ was standing out of his britches by itself. No, sir, Mr. F... I started to back away.. didn’t want to touch that mushy-hard thing again. He grabbed [me] and pulled me between his legs.. he said,.. this ain’t gonna hurt you much. You liked it before, didn’t you?... His legs were squeezing my waist..[said] Pull down your drawers... We was just playing before.. snatch[ed] down my bloomers.. If you scream, I’m gonna kill you.. if you tell, I’m gonna kill [your brother].. Then there was the pain. A breaking and entering when the senses are torn apart... rape on an 8 year old body is a matter of the needle giving because the camel can’t.. child gives, because the body can, and the mind of the violator cannot.. thought I had died.. he was washing me... dried me and handed me my bloomers.. Put these on.. You just act natural... walking.. felt the wet on my pants.. my hips.. coming out of their sockets.. couldn’t sit long.. so I walked... knew I’d never make it... started to burn between my legs more... went to bed... [later] [my brother] began to change the bed.. pulled off the soiled sheets.. dislodged the panties I had put under the mattress.. fell at Mother’s feet. In the hospital, [my brother] told me I had to tell who did that to me.. So I told him.. [he] cried at the side of my bed..”

- “..called niggers, jigs, dinges, blackbirds, crows, boots and spooks.”

- “..clumsy nigger. Clumsy little black nigger... god-damn it, her names M.”

- “..whip that cracker... whip him till that white boy call him Momma... don’t mind hugging that niggah now... another lynching.. another Black man hanging in a tree. One more woman ambushed and raped.. Black boy whipped and maimed... hounds on the trail.. white woman slapping her maid.. little higher than the apes.. stupid and ugly and lazy and dirty.. God hated us..”

- “[my brother made] a tent. There he initiated girls into.. sex.. play Momma and Poppa.. girls were commanded to pull up their dresses as he lay on top and wiggled his hips.. been playing the game for.. 6 months before he met J. was 4 years older than [him, who was almost 11].. her breasts were not the hard little knots of other girls her age.. filled out the tops of her skimpy.. dresses.. would cling to her.. body and B. would glue his eyes on her. Well ain’t you going to open your trousers.. We can’t do it with my drawers on... How you going to get to it?.. B. told me after that J. had hairs on her thing and that she had gotten them from ‘doing it’ with so many boys.. He was proud of her accomplishments. As their love affair progressed, his stealing from the store increased.”

- “J.? She’s got somebody to do it to her all the time now.”

- “..wished that.. Prosser and.. Turner had killed all the whitefolks in their beds... awful to be Negro... We should all be dead.. like to see us all dead, one on top of another.. pyramid of flesh with the whitefolks on the bottom.. then the Indians.. the Negroes... Dutch children should all stumble... and break their necks.. French should choke to death.. As a species we were an abomination. All of us.”

- “..my [dentist] policy is I don’t treat colored people...rather stick my hand in a dog’s mouth than a nigger’s.... I ain’t gonna mess around in no niggah’s mouth.”

- “man was dead and rotten... fished him out of the pond.. white man stuck his foot under the sheet and rolled him over.. white man stood there, looking down, and grinned. Uncle W., why do they hate us so much?.. This here’s one nigger nobody got to worry about no more.. picked up a side of the sheet and.. walked in.. carrying a rotten dead Negro.. white man played like he was going to lock us all up in there.. I was glad to get out of there... prisoners was screaming they didn’t want no dead nigger in there with them.. he’d stink up the place... ain’t done nothing bad enough for you to put another nigger in here with us, and a dead on at that.. they laughed.. like there was something funny.”

- “..wouldn’t.. be anyone’s kitchen bitch. ..Sympathy is next to shit in the dictionary”

- “..she confronted him... he.. called her a bitch.. I’m going to be one bitch.. already been that one.. man relieved himself of another ‘bitch’.. Mother shot him.. shot him a second time..”

- “..arrogance of the young sailors.. approaching every girl as if she were at best a prostitute.. city acted in wartime like an intelligent woman under siege.. gave what she couldn’t with safety withhold..”

- “..fool was as happy as a sissy in a C.C.C. camp.. did not trust no white man because all they wanted was.. to kill a black man legally and get his wife in the bed.”

- “..pretentious little bitch, aren’t you?”

- “[dad’s girlfriend says] [your mother’s] a whore.. I’m gonna slap you for that, you silly old bitch. [dad’s girlfriend stabs her].. looked down to find blood.. saw a hammer in her hand.. I fled.. sat in the car, feeling the blood slip down to my buttocks..”

- “How could a 16 year old.. compete with such overshadowing [rich and colorful] rivals? [for his mother’s attention]. He did what he had to do. ..acquired a withered white prostitute, a diamond ring.... Harris Tweed coat.. she was also a mother.. ‘a damn good one’.. no son of hers was going to be exploited by a used-up white whore... Hell, no.”

- “..Goddammit, get your heels to clicking.”

- “Leave me the shit alone.. I sure as hell won’t miss her. To the hell with her..”

- “..was my introduction to lesbianism.. book was both a treat and a threat.. world of the pervert.. stimulated my libido... I ruled out the jolly sissies.. true freaks, the ‘woman lovers’ captured my imagination.. I became a bleeding heart for the downtrodden misunderstood lesbians. ..thought [it] was synonymous with hermaphrodite.. wondering [about] simple body functions... choice of organs to use.. alternate or play favorite?.. how 2 hermaphrodites made love.. more confused I became.. would complicate matters to the point of giving up the idea of making love at all... my breasts were sadly undeveloped.. How did lesbianism begin? What were the symptoms?.. discover[ed] that hermaphrodites were ‘born that way’.. [couldn’t] determine [if] lesbians budded gradually, or burst into being with a suddenness that dismayed them as much as it repelled society.. I asked.. mother... my pocketbook.. you mean your vagina... Well, have you got crabs?.. Does your vagina itch?.. don’t have a venereal disease, do you?... something is growing out of my vagina.. Where on your vagina..?.. On both sides. Inside... [mom] asked for beer.. sit down.. Read this.. VULVA.. just human nature.. I thought I was turning into a lesbian.. she leaned away from me.. A lesbian? Where the hell did you get that idea... [friend sleeps over].. saw her breasts. I was stunned.. they were beautiful.. I had been moved by looking at a woman’s breasts.. was something queer about me.. heard about dykes and bulldaggers.. I needed a boyfriend.. if pretties [girls] were expected to make the supreme sacrifice in order to ‘belong’, what could the unattractive female do.. I believe most plain girls are virtuous because of the scarce opportunity to be otherwise.. suspicion that I might not be a normal female and my.. awakening sexual appetite.. decided to take matters into my own hands. (An unfortunate but apt phrase).. If I was going to venture into sex,.. [should] make my experiment with the best of the lot.. the brother that I had chosen came walking.. Would you like to have sexual intercourse with me?.. Take me somewhere.. you’re going to give me some trim?.. I assured him [yes].. went to a.. room.. turned of the lights.. [no] shared tenderness.. laborious gropings, pullings, yankings and jerkings. Not one word was spoken.. our experience had reached its climax [he got] up abruptly.. Okay, see you around.. Thanks to Mr. F. 9 years before, I had no pain of entry to endure... I not only didn’t enjoy it, but my normalcy was still question.. 3 weeks later.. pregnant... How was I to blame the innocent man whom I had lured...”

- Book is about high school boy on the freshman football team whose dad has just moved out to go live with his homosexual boyfriend. Years ago his dad had been the varsity team’s star quarterback in their best season and his grandfather was coach.

- Classroom conversation between boy and girl: “You want him. ..You know you do. ..In your dreams. ..You don’t know what you’re missing... Oh, I bet I do..”

- “..[teacher] likes to flirt with the girls.. leaning over.. trying to look down their shirts.”

- “Who in their right mind would offer Jesus drugs in the first place?”

- “She was stoned.. set fire to the bathroom.”

- “..flash back on Dad.. last May.. There’s something I have to tell you. [mom says] grandmother doesn’t know. ..Why your father moved out. ..Dad had said. ..I’m gay. ..told [grandmother] he’s having a midlife crisis. ..Why couldn’t he have told me that? ..You can tell other people.. You can’t tell them he’s queer.. living across town with some guy..” he asks Mom if she knew and she says:” knew we had problems... he wasn’t happy.. But never guessed why.”

- “..heard she got expelled for.. Doing it. With a guy in the band room. ..Right in the band room.. guys were circling back [in P.E.] so they could run beside her. ..Watch her bounce. ..No virgins on varsity [football]. ..heard they keep count. ..Who has the most.”

- “J says she’s bringing the condoms.”

- “You can smell the pot on his cloths and his hands. ..big safety pins.. through both his nipples. ..did it myself. ..little drip of blood trails down from the right one. ..J squints at [his] left tit .. Doesn’t it hurt? ..heading to the bleachers to smoke.”

- “..D makes a big deal of sniffing the air.. I smell something fruity.. They’re all like that. ..those drama people.. their club. The Lesbians. ..Lesbians. Thespians. Same thing. They’re all gay.”

- “I want to kick your little fairy butt!”

- “..guy is singing about.. getting it on with some girl.. I think about no virgins on varsity.”

- “..shirt that says, I go from zero to bitch in 2.5 seconds.”

- “I think about [dad’s boyfriend].. never seen him.. imagine him young and blond.. like that guy on SNL.. perky.”

- “[she says] They just think I’m.. Slutty, I think.”

- “..jacket that Mom always bitched about.”

- “..[dads boyfriend] has a terrible voice. A swishy voice.”

- “maybe I should warn her about the guys.. keeping count of how many girls they make it with.”

- “..remember Dad [telling mom].. he.. like[d] looking at Sigourney Weaver in her underwear.. was he just pretending?”

- “[tells dad] You could get AIDS.. I’m in a monogamous relationship.. [asks dad] ..did you know in high school? What?.. About AIDS? ..You definitely knew you liked guys.. Back in high school. You knew than? I definitely knew in high school.. knew it before then”

- “[grandma says] I’m glad [grandpa] is dead.. Because this would kill him.. Mom [asks son] he told her at football game? At halftime. ..not the best time, she says..”

- “..there’s going to be booze at the party. definitely beer,.. everyone on the team drinks it. Other stuff... Todd’s dad keeps around the house. Pot, for sure. ..I’ll drink beer. Budweiser.. I like their commercials.. don’t know about the drugs. I’ve never smoked.. or snorted anything. ..don’t want to look like a.. fool. ..big coughing fit? ..exhale instead of inhale? ..movie.. cocaine went all over the place. Beer is safer. ..then there’s sex.. might be my chance. Not to start counting ..just a chance.”

- “..opens the trunk. ..pulls out two 12 packs of beer.. Inside.. Sweat, perfume, cigarette smoke, pot. ..2 couples making out.. rolling joints from a plastic bag... Beer and wine in here. .. Bedrooms upstairs, but they’re pretty much occupied at the moment. [she] giggles. ..Ooh . Pot. She sits down.. T grabs another beer... Don’t trash my house! ..One of the girls holds out a joint to K, Want a hit? [she] looks like she is going to grab it but K says, later.. ..She opens the nearest cooler and grabs a Coors.. drinks the whole thing.. [she’s] started on another one.. girl.. holds out the joint.. smoldering gently. want some? I hold up my can of beer. Think I’ll finish this first. Wouldn’t want to mix you Bud and bud one of the guys says, and they all start laughing.”

- “She has a wine cooler.. finished the 2nd beer that fast. ..2 guys out on the lawn punching each other. ..can hear grunting and the sound of fists hitting bodies. ..Havin’ fun? I hold up the beer can. Havin’ fun. C wiggles out from under his arm. I’m going to get a beer. ..Get one for me! [he] shouts.. eyes are bloodshot. he smells of beer and cigarette smoke.. [gives me] a condom. You can have one.. I have lots. ..He leans toward me.. It’s now or never, B. Thanks, J. I shove the condom in my pocket.”

- “..next door is a closet. A girl says, Go away! And a guy laughs. I shut the door.”

- “..can feel the condom wrapper digging into my leg. ..think about [the guys] counting. Adding up. Asking me [on Monday] how I did Saturday night. I take another sip of the beer. It still tastes bad. ..C has another beer. Her face is flushed. She’s laughing.”

- “C takes a big swig.. [her] hand is in his shirt again. Maybe in the waistband of his jeans.. air in the kitchen is heavy with smoke. ..no one is talking ..staring off into space.. munchies so bad [she says].. Someone has knocked over a can of beer [in basement], and it’s puddling.. 5 guys.. playing poker. ..all smoking cigars. they have a bottle of scotch and.. glasses with booze in them. ..$100 bill on top of the pile of money.. I stand there.. fingering the condom.. no virgins on varsity. Now or never. It’ll make you stronger.”

- “advice and condoms. ..can’t imagine saying the word ‘condom’ to her.”

- “He’s still a virgin ..this is a total secret.”

- “..he’s drunk. In fact just about everybody here is drunk.”

- “..one of them says, Get in line for a bedroom dude.”

- “..[she] grabs a half-full bottle of beer and drinks it before I can stop her. ..I just want to get drunk. I need to get drunk. ..You already are drunk.”

- “..you’d like to have sex with me. ..Here? Now?.. I still have the condom... Oh shit!” Car goes off road when he tries to avoid a rabbit.

- She barfs numerous times.

- “..I find the condom. ..I roll down the window and toss it out.”

- According to back cover book is about spoiled children of LA with “sex and drugs… world devoid of feeling and hope.. parties, seedy rock clubs.. seamy underworld of drug dealing and prostitution.” The book is filled with controversial material. Profanity [approx 55 uses of fuck, approx 26 uses of shit, etc.]; nearly every other page involves drug use, drinking, drunk/high driving, binge drinking…. Coke/Lines/Blow [over 30 times], Marijuana/Joints [18 times]. Other drugs/drug terms in book include needles/syringes/shooting up, heroin, brown powder, smack, O.D., thorazine, tranks, librium, meth, Desoxyn, preludin, trackmarks, mainline, acid, freebase, nembutal, quaalude, pills, lude, stoned, gram, dealer. Explicit sexual material including homosexual/bi-sexual, snuff/sex torture film, child sex slave being kept high on drugs, and homosexual prostitution. Most drug use in book is not excerpted below since so extensive. The book all takes place in 18-year old C’s break between college semesters, at home in LA. Starts with “girlfriend” picking up C at airport. C has told his girlfriend he is not interested in her any longer and it is unclear if she knows he is bisexual.

- “..card that says ‘Fuck Christmas’.. ”

- “..Jew S.C. ..Jew.C.L.A. ..”

- Friend B, B’s mom, and B’s dad and B’s dad’s boyfriend are at party… biggest lies?.. I won’t come in your mouth..”

- “..the black boy is wearing a dress..””

- “Sometimes.. I tell.. [my shrink].. I have bizarre sexual fantasies and his interest will increase..”

- “You were not [going out with W]. You fucked. You didn’t ‘go out’.. Whatever, whatever… Did you sleep with W?… No.. thought C was sleeping with W [both boys].. C was sleeping with D.. realize I might have slept with D… W also.. If C slept with D, then he must have slept with.. R.. wondering if I slept with R.. R is black isn’t he?.. I haven’t slept with R.. thought he O.D.’d.. best looking black guy.. isn’t he gay..?.. Who? C?.. No. R. He’s bi. Bi,.. don’t think he ever slept with D.. thought it was chic to have a black boyfriend.. had no idea C slept with R. C has slept with everyone, A says..”

- Buys coke.. doing lines with dealer.. “..think A wants to fuck me. ..should I fuck her.. why not?.. Use the [bathroom] downstairs.. Why?.. Because J and K and D are fucking in there.” Does more coke than he goes home with boy, has sex [not explicit] with him, wakes up at 4:30 am and drives home.

- “..these two insane fags..”

- “D’s having a party.. Oh great.. A fag party… maid’s sitting.. with dazed look on her.. always stoned.. stoned again.”

- C has [not explicit] sex with “girlfriend”

- “[C] buy[s] some porno magazine with 2 girls holding riding crops..”

- “..my sisters are lying on the large bed [in my mother’s room]… watching some porno film.. wondering whose it is - my mom’s.. sisters? Christmas present from.. [mom’s] friend?.. the person with the Ferrari? mine? One of my sisters says that she hates it when they show the guy coming..”

- C collects weird newspaper clippings: “..guy.. who nailed his kid to a wall, or a door,.. then shot him, point-blank in the face,.. fire.. that killed 20 [elderly], housewife.. driving with her children.. [drove] off.. 84 foot embankment.. man who calmly .. ran over his ex-wife.. paralyzing her..”

- “He said, have a Happy New Year, cunt,..”

- Friend [J] asks him to borrow money so his girlfriend can get abortion. C agrees to loan it but suspects the money is really for something else

- “..T, suck my dick, R yells. Take it out, T calls.. Some guy propositioned me today, R [a guy] is saying… offered me $600.. to go.. with him for the weekend.”

- “R comes over, after talking to the gay porno star who’s at the bar with his girlfriend, and he whispers something in [C’s girlfriend’s] ear and the two of them get up and leave. ..girl.. next to me, is drunk and has her hand on my thigh.. G comes in with.. blond girl.. he flashes me a smile.. two of them.. talk to the gay porno star and his girlfriend”

- C goes home from bar with another girl and they mutually masturbate: “..take off my clothes and lie on her bed.. I put my hands on her shoulders.. she’s naked.. brings out tube of Bain de Soleil.. [and] sunglasses.. tells me to put them on and I do. ..squeezes some onto her fingers and then touches herself.. [I] do the same.. I.. reach over to her and she stops me.. places my hand back on myself.. her hand begins again.. goes on for a while I tell her that I’m going to come and she tells me to hold on a minute.. she’s almost there.. begins to move her hand faster, spreading her legs wider.. stings when I come and then I guess she comes too.. I lie there, naked, sunglasses.. on.. she hands me a box of Kleenex. I wipe myself off.. dress. call a cab..”

- “..people say that that 13-year old kid who O.D.’d.. bought the smack from J.. Took.. animal tranquilizers.. with W and went to see [band].. cool. Throwing rats into the audience.. took one out to the car.. killed it. Big rat.. Took him 20, 30 minutes to kill the fucker.”

- Graffiti in bathroom: “How do you get a nun pregnant? Fuck her. What’s the difference between a J.A.P and a bowl of spaghetti? Spaghetti moves when you eat it… J gives great head. And is dead.”

- “drunk ..we kiss roughly.. she.. pushes me.. we both fall.. to our knees.. kiss, lick.. rub against each other and we push each other’s jeans down and touch each other and I rub my hand through her underwear.. enter her too quickly, she breathes.. sharply..”

- “..young boys.. seem to be in every room.. all look the same.. wonder if I look exactly like them.. Everyone.. looking up at large screen.. girl, nude, maybe 15, on a bed, her arms tied.. above her.. legs spread apart, each foot tied.. lying on.. newspaper.. [also] young, thin, scared-looking boy, 16, maybe 17, being pushed into room by this fat black guy,.. also naked and who’s got a huge hardon.. boy.. panicked.. black man ties up the boy.. chainsaw.. in the background.. [black man] then has sex with him and then he has sex with the girl.. walks off.. comes back.. takes out ice pick.. wire hanger and a package of nails and.. large knife and he comes toward the girl.. and D smiles and nudges me in the ribs. I leave.. as the black man tries to push a nail into the girl’s neck.. But someone’s turned the volume up.. screams of the young girl coming from the television.. T walks.. outside, 20, 30 minutes later, after the screams and yelling of the girl and boy stop, and I notice he has a hardon. He adjusts himself and sits next to me. Guy paid $15,000 for it.. [someone] tells T that he doesn’t think it’s real, even though the chainsaw seen was intense. I bet it’s real, T says.. other boy says.. Its gotta be.. how can you fake a castration? They cut the balls off that guy real slowly. You can’t fake that.”

- “..S.. O.D.’d on Friday. I tell him I don’t know who S was. he shrugs. Ever mainline? he asks.. A comes by unannounced and the maid lets her in… She has been crying.. sits on my bed.. mentions something about an abortion and starts to laugh.”

- “She’s pretty and 16.. meets her dealer.. this guy spends all day shooting her full of smack again and again.. then he feeds her.. acid and takes her… to a party… gets gangbanged by the entire party.”

- C goes with his friend J to a meeting with F. C realizes F is a pimp, pimping boys to men who want young homosexual sex and that J owes F lots of money for drugs and has been working for him for a while: “..my best boy [F says].. How did everything go last night? F asks.. Okay, fine [J says].. [he] called me today and said that you were fantastic.. tops.. really digs you.. you’ve got.. appointment at 4.. business guy.. bringing your friend.. good.. wants 2 guys.. 1 just to watch.. Wanna lude?.. go to the hotel.. Can’t I do something else for you?.. till I pay you back? J’s voice.. shaky.. cracks.. I’m through.. you’re my best boy.. [the 2 of them then go to meet the man].. 45 [years old].. Would you boys like a drink?.. make yourself comfortable.. just a week.. real estate.. Indiana.. you’re a very beautiful boy.. here, that’s all that matters.. tells us.. he’ll be out of [bathroom soon].. notice [his] wallet.. pictures of.. [man’s wife, children].. No music. I want to hear it all. Everything [man says].. J takes off his underwear.. man smiles.. [C] try[s] to throw up [in bathroom].. but don’t.. [he] come[s] back into the room.. man rolls J over.. I don’t close my eyes..”

- “..guys.. who all look at this one gorgeous girl, longingly, hoping for.. a blow job in daddy’s car..”

- C and J go to party with homosexual sex pimp: “..strobe.. best boy.. stoned.. vial.. coke.. [J arguing with pimp] Fuck off, you… little prick.. asshole pimp.. turned me into whore.. F has taken out a syringe.. No more.. F isn’t listening.. grabs J’s arm.. jabs the needle.. drug debt.. you’ll feel better.. leads J out.. up the stairs.. I can hear low moans coming from the room.. F leads J into the room, a scream suddenly bursts out.. door slams shut.”

- “Fuckin’ Spic!”

- Someone finds dead body, it becomes place to go before someone reports the body to the police and it is removed. They go to see the body. Smoke joints, joke, put cigarette in the body’s mouth.

- 12-year old girl is kept as a drugged sex slave: “ ..naked.. on mattress.. legs spread and tied.. arms.. arms are tied above her head. her cunt is rash.. been shaved.. keeps moaning.. eyes 1/2 closed. Someone’s put.. makeup on her.. S digs the syringe into her arm.. T says Wow.. S.. takes off.. his jeans.. has hardon and he pushes it at the girls lips.. You can watch if you want.. [C] leaves the room.. Why? is all [he] ask[s] R… Why not? What the hell?.. come on, she’s 11. 12 R corrects.. don’t look at me like I’m.. scumbag.. I’m not… right to take it.. right to do it.. R.. walks back into the bedroom.. T’s already unbuttoning his shirt, staring at S who’s straddling the girl’s head.. gonna stay [T says].. “

- “..girl.. at the party.. found the next morning, her wrists and ankles tied together.. raped repeatedly.. strangled and her throat slit and her breasts had been cut off and someone had stuck candles where they used to be.”

- “..bathroom wall.. J gives great head… Fuck you Mom and Dad. You suck cunt. You suck cock. You can both die because that’s what you did to me.. both.. so fucking helpless.. daughter.. Iranian and your son is a faggot.. rot in fucking shitting asshole hell. Burn, you fucking dumbshits. Burn, fuckers. Burn.”

- C meets a girl who tells him that the guy he is “going-out with” is “fucking this guy named D,..”

- C sees F, the homosexual sex pimp, at the grocery store. “He winks.. catch ya later [F says] cocking his fingers as if they were a gun.”

- “T tells me he saw the boy with J parked.. outside.. Beverly Hills High talking to a kid who looked about 14. ..could.. see the purple bruises around [J’s] eyes.”

- Book is about a 16 year old boy (M) with no friends who goes off to boarding school. He is obsessed with people’s last words. At boarding school he becomes friends with his roommate (C), and A. M thinks A is the “the hottest girl in all of human history." The FCPS library catalog review describes A: “Other than her occasional hollow, feminist diatribes, Alaska is mostly male fantasy-a curvy babe who loves sex and can drink guys under the table.” While driving drunk A dies in a wreck. M and C try to figure out if it was truly an accident or suicide. The FCPS review says, “Theological questions from their religion class add some introspective gloss. But the novel's chief appeal lies in M's well-articulated lust and his initial excitement about being on his own for the first time.”

- The language in the book gives one a good idea of what the book is focused on: Ass, Asshole, Bad ass (28 times); Bastard (7 times); Blow job, Oral sex, Ham smoked, Orgasm, Suck, Went down on, Fellatio (11 times); Bitch (13 times); Breasts, Boobs (12 times); Shit, Bullshit, Shitfaced (49 times); Fuck, Fucker, Fuck you, Motherfucker (34 times); Penis, Balls, Dick, Hard on, Erection, Hung like a horse, Prick (12 times); Hell, Holy hell (21 times); Butt (7 times); Porn (9 times); Piss, Pissed, Pee (27 times); Sex (28 times); Slept with, Hooked up, Lost virginity, Making out, Get laid, Genital contact, Screw, Doing it (21 times); Other words, one or more times, include: Masturbation, Nude, Suicide, Condoms, Puke, Hung myself, Male stripper, Weed, Marijuana, Vagina, Fart

- M starts smoking cigarettes and drinking at school. His friends (C and A especially) are very heavy smokers and drinkers. Acquiring cigarettes (A sells them) and booze, and hiding their smoking and drinking from the school administrator is a large part of the book.

- “..[he] puts his arm around me.. honks my boob. HONK. A much-too-firm, 2-3 second HONK.. first thought.. how do I [get] this claw from my boob before it leaves permanent marks.. second.. thought.. God, I can’t wait to tell T and.. C.

- “..hot.. with her breasts straining against her tight tank top.. I realized the importance of curves.. thousands of places where girls’ bodies ease from one place to another..”

- “..so much to do: cigarettes to smoke, sex to have… a shared interest in booze and mischief… I’ll get you laid. Deal. We shook on it.”

- “..first [deep-fried burrito].. experienced a culinary orgasm..”

- “..caught committing 3.. expellable offenses at once. Lying naked in bed together (“genital contact” being offense #1, already drunk.. were smoking a joint..”

- “..I’d have been grateful just to have someone to make out with.”

- M is given a initiation hazing by some students where he is duct taped from feet to shoulders with arms by his side. They throw him in the lake and leave. Fortunately he remains calm, slowly floats back to the shore with his nose above water and doesn’t drown. He gets out of duct tape and using the towel they left him gets back to the dorms.

- “..isn’t milk.. 5 parts milk and 1 part vodka… can barely smell the vodka.. can’t catch me.. my girlfriend is a bitch. Want some?.. my dad would get pissed.. would beat the shit out of my mom..”

- “..the pale skin of her sizable cleavage clearly visible.. gotten in enough trouble already for looking where I wasn’t supposed to, but still.. perv, she said..”

- “Why do you smoke so damn fast? I asked A.. Y’all smoke to enjoy it. I smoke to die [she said].”

- “..he always had weed.. started every game without once playing sober. He loves weed the way A loves sex.. once constructed a bong using only the barrel of an air rifle, a ripe pear, and an 8x10 glossy photo of Anna Kournikova. Not the brightest.. but.. got to admire his single-minded dedication to drug abuse.”

- “Since we were only 4 layers of clothes from doing it…”

- “We found you a girlfriend, A said to me.. talking about having hot sex with you.. has great breasts.. C said.”

- A’s college boyfriend [J] visits: “..[M, you] have never gotten to 2nd base.. Did I tell you that J is hung like a horse and a beautiful, sensual lover?... I wanted to be him..”

- M gets concussion. Vomits on his date.

- “[she] told J that I had a hard-on for A.. I was like Well, I don’t have a hard-on for anything at this moment. You can check if you’d like..”

- “I lost my virginity to her.. only girl I’ve slept with”

- “..put her head in my lap.. corduroys.. boxers.. 2 layers.. could feel the warmth of her cheek on my thigh. There are times when it is appropriated, even preferable, to get an erection when someone’s face is in close proximity to your penis. This was not one of those times.”

- “[A says] ..fake ID.. every time I go to the liquor store.. buy 10 bottles [of wine].. vodka for C.. don’t worry about the [administrator] tonight.. probably masturbating for the 1st time in a month.” M and A drink wine. “..she placed her hand on my leg.. her.. finger making slow, lazy circles that crept toward the inside of my thigh.. 1 layer between us, God I wanted her.”

- M and A sneak into other dorm rooms when students are on break: “..found a tub of Vaseline so big it could have only one possible use, which I didn’t care to dwell on… you know why [these boys] love their hair [A asks M].. compensating for their little penises [M says].. A bent over to shimmy out [window].. Don’t look at my ass, she said, and so I looked..”

- “Wanna go porn hunting? [A asks M].. We can’t love our neighbors till we know how crooked their hearts are. Don’t you like porn? she asked.. I hadn’t seen much porn, but the idea of looking at porn with [her] had a certain appeal.” They start breaking into more dorms. “..got to know my classmates quite well.. many people had booze.. stashed everywhere.. toilet tanks.. dirty clothes hampers… [in] King James Bible.. She drank it down.. found plenty of porn magazines… turns out that H did like something other than basketball and pot: he liked Juggs. ..movie [in] Room 32,.. a couple of guys from Mississippi named Joe and Marcus [who] were in our religion class and sometimes sat with C and me at lunch. A read the [title of]... The Bitches of Madison County. ..[we] ran with it to the TV room, closed the blinds, locked the door, and watched.. a woman standing on a bridge with her legs spread while a guy knelt in front of her, giving her oral sex… started doing it, A [said] They just don't make sex look fun for women… girl is just an object. Look! Look at that!.. I was already looking.. woman crouched on her hands and knees while a guy knelt behind her. She kept saying Give it to me and moaning… her eyes… betrayed her lack of interest, I couldn't help but take mental notes. Hands on her shoulders, I noted. Fast, but not too fast or it's going to be over, fast. Keep your grunting to a minimum… A said God, M. Never do it that hard.. would hurt… looks like torture. And all she can do is just sit there and take it? This is not a man and a woman. It's a penis and a vagina. What's erotic about that? Where's the kissing? Given their position, I don't think they can kiss right now," I noted…my point. Just by virtue of how they're doing it, it's objectification, He can't even see her face! This is what can happen to women, M. That woman is someone's daughter. This is what you make us do for money. ..not me I said.. I mean, not technically. I don't.. produce porn movies. Look me in the eye and tell me this doesn't turn you on, M. I couldn't. She laughed. It was fine, she said. Healthy. ..she got up, stopped the tape, lay down on her stomach across the couch, and mumbled something. What did you say? I asked.. putting my hand on the small of her back… Shhhh she said. I'm sleeping… From a 100 miles an hour to asleep in a nanosecond. I wanted so badly to lie down next to her on the couch, to wrap my arms around her and sleep. Not fuck, like in those movies. Not even have sex. Just sleep together, in the most innocent sense..”

- They go to a liquor store that “is built around selling cigarettes to minors and alcohol to adults.” A gets 3 cartons of cigarettes, 5 bottles of wine and a 5th of vodka.

- “Very perky boobs, C said. Hand-eye coordination will come in handy when you get to 3rd base [A said] French, Feel, Finger, Fuck.”

- A, C, M and some others hide out camping in a barn for a few nights to do prank on the School. They drink lots of wine. A tells story about how she sat and watched her mom die of an aneurysm when she was small. She feels guilty she didn’t call 911. The author lets the reader know A was 6 years old or older. A says her dad sort of blamed her and how she screamed and freaked out at her mom holding her head and jerking but that when she stopped A thought she had fallen asleep. More drinking, hangovers and puking

- A makes out with L : “..could feel her breasts against my chest, and she moved slowly on top of me, her legs straddling me.. slept together in her sleeping bab.”

- A few days later M makes out with L again.. L… asked me, Have you ever gotten a blow job? ..that's out of the blue, I said …I mean, what made you think of that? I've just never geeven one, she answered, her little voice dripping with seductiveness. It was so brazen. I thought I would explode. I never thought. I mean, from A, hearing that stuff was one thing. But to hear her sweet little Romanian voice go so sexy all of a sudden.. No, I said. I never have. Think it would be fun?[she asked].. DO I!?!?!?!?!?!?! "Um. yeah. I mean, you don't have to… I think I want to, she said.. we kissed a little, and then.. with me sitting watching The Brady Bunch.. L unbuttoned my pants and pulled my boxers down a little and pulled out my penis. Wow, she said. …looked up at me, but didn't move, her face nanometers away from my penis. It's weird. …weird? Just beeg, I guess. I could live with that kind of weird. ..she wrapped her hand around it and put it into her mouth. And waited. We were both very still. She did not move a muscle in her body, and I did not move a muscle in mine. I knew that at this point something else was supposed to happen, but I wasn't quite sure what. She stayed still. I could feel her nervous breath. For minutes, for as long as it took the Bradys to steal the key and unlock themselves from the ghost-town jail, she lay there, stock-still with my penis in her mouth, and I sat there, waiting. ..then she took it out of her mouth and looked up at me quizzically. Should I do sometheeng? Um. I don't know, I said. Everything I'd learned from watching porn with A suddenly exited my brain. I thought maybe she should move her head up and down, but wouldn't that choke her? So I just stayed quiet. Should I, like, bite? Don't bite! I mean, I don't think. I think--I mean, that felt good. That was nice. I don't know if there's something else. I mean, you deedn't-- ..Maybe we should ask A.. we went to her room and asked... She laughed and laughed… laughed until she cried. [got] a tube of toothpaste, and showed us. In detail. Never have I so wanted to be Crest Complete. L and I went back to her room, where she did exactly what A told her to do, and I did exactly what A said I would do, which was die a hundred little ecstatic deaths, my fists clenched, my body shaking. It was my first orgasm with a girl, and afterward I was embarrassed and nervous, and so, clearly, was L, who finally broke the silence by asking, So, want to do some homework?”

- M tells A and C about the oral sex: “..repeated in embarrassing detail the fellatio fiasco.. can’t believe she went down on you twice in 1 day.. Really just once A corrected.. M got his hog smoked [says C].. I’d give you a pity blow, but I am really attached to J [A says]”

- “A [says], Truth of Dare, M.. Dare. ..Hook up with me. ..So I did. …she leaned in.. tilted her head to the side, and we were kissing. Zero layers between us. Our tongues dancing back and forth in each other's mouth until there was no her mouth and my mouth but only our mouths intertwined. ..her soft fingers tracing the line of my jaw. We lay down as we kissed, she on top of me, and I began to move beneath her. I pulled away for a moment.. and she put one finger to her lips and we kissed again. A hand grabbed one of mine and she placed it on her stomach. I moved slowly on top of her and felt her arching her back fluidly beneath me. I pulled away again. "What about L? J?.. she sshed me. Less tongue, more lips, she said, and I tried my best. I thought the tongue was the whole point, but she was the expert. Christ, C said quite loudly. That wretched beast, drama, draws nigh. But we paid not attention. She moved my hand from her waist to her breast… my fingers moving slowly under her shirt but over her bra, tracing the outline of her breasts and then cupping one in my hand, squeezing softly. You're good at that, she whispered. Her lips never left mine as she spoke. We moved together, my body between her legs. This is so much fun, she whispered, but I'm so sleepy. To be continued? She kissed me for another moment my mouth straining to stay near hers, and then she moved from beneath me, placed her head on my chest, and fell asleep instantly. We didn't have sex. We never got naked. I never touched her bare breast, and her hands never got lower than my hips. It didn't matter. As she slept, I whispered, "I love you, A. Just as I was falling asleep, Colonel spoke. Dude, did you just make out with Alaska? Yeah."

- A gets M and C to distract the administrator and leaves campus in her car and dies in wreck. A lot of the rest of the book is M, C and others trying to figure out was it a suicide, the campus dealing with the death and grief, the boys guilt for letting her drive drunk, why did she leave campus so quickly, etc..

- “Resident stoner” H offers M some weed to deal with his grief. He turns it down. M dreams about a naked A flying into the room: “Her breasts, which I had only felt very briefly and in the dark, are luminously full as they hang down from her body. She hovers inches above me.. Hi, I say. I’ve missed you. You look good M. So do you. I’m so naked, she says and laughs. How did I get so naked. I just want you to stay, I say. No.. her weight falls dead on me, crushing my chest.. cold and wet.. Her head is split in half and a pink-gray sludge oozes from the fracture in her skull and drips onto my face, and she stinks of formaldehyde and rotting meat. I gag and push her off me, terrified.”

- “.. she sure has hell didn’t lose interest in sex. One would like to have sex an awful lot to make out with your scrawny ass.”

- “All that matters is you and your precious fucking fantasy that you and A had this goddamned secret love affair and she was going to leave J for you.. But she kissed a lot of guys M..”

- They have drinking experiment to see how drunk A was the night she wrecked. The steal a breathalyzer from the administrator: “..C took his 6th shot of vodka.. Blow into it really hard for at least 2 seconds.. Is that what you told L?.. Because, see, M, they only call it a blow job… .16.. You’re 2/3rd of the way there.. but I’m like ¾’s of the way to puking..”

- “she said, Lets play truth or dare and then you fucked her. Wait, you fucked her? In front of C? I didn’t fuck her.. Kissing.. want to get shitfaced? C asked.. chugged.”

- “[we] had to rely on charity for our cigarette habit.. T drove us to [liquor store]..” M buys booze.

- “When your old and gray and your grandchildren.. look up at you and say, Grandpappy, who gave you your 1st blow job? Do you want to have to tell them it was some girl who you spent the rest of high school ignoring? No!.. You want to say, My dear friend L. Lovely girl. Prettier than your grandma by a wide margin.”

- M makes up with L. L’s roommate [K] doesn’t like this or him and: “..knees(s) me in the balls. She smiled then, and as I crumpled into a bow, K said, Now I forgive you.”

- All the stories deal with sexuality, some more explicit than others. Nine of them are excerpted here.

- In the Foreword, Cart states “Not only has sex not gone away, it has become a quintessential – perhaps even obligatory – rite of passage for adolescents.”

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from “Fine and Dandy” by Hawes, Louise

- “We’d start by renting a video or doing homework……every night ended up the same way: horizontal………jamming his hand down my V-neck and tugging at my bra strap…..He’d be all over me…..I’d be breathing hard, trying to slow things down so I’d remember…. afterward. …P and I were both virgins, so I didn’t worry about AIDS or anything..... part of the reason we finally had sex. It was safe…”

- “I had helped him get my jeans down to my knees, and now his hands were between my legs…..I liked what P.’s hands were doing….”

- Broke up with P

- “I bought a test kit at the Rite-Aid….plus for pregnant….I got a plus….”

- “I’d always figured the mess we cleaned up afterward was all there was to it….every one of the babies P. and I panted into possibility was buried under orange peels….in the kitchen trash.”

- Aunt tells C “I know for sure you’re alive, but ….not positive about an embryo. You’ve got the equipment to suffer, but I don’t know if that germ inside you does.”

- “souls keep trying until they find the right womb…they come back until somebody wants them.”

- Has an abortion at a clinic “ I knew the dot had already been vacuumed out…”

- “I never did say anything to him [P]……my nightmares were probably his dreams…”

- author expects to get hate mail about this story. “Abortion is still a place most people don’t want stories to go.”

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from “Lightening Bringer” by Nix, Garth

- Boy nicknames an imaginary town drifter “Lightening Bringer,” a fantasy guy who has his eyes set on the best looking girl in the school.

- LB says “….that girl looked at me? I’m going to have her tonight. I can get any woman I like…..I was born with the Power…….you’ve got it, too…..You have to feed the Power!”

- “…I just kept kissing, sticking my tongue in even harder and putting my hands down the back of her jeans….I thought she was getting excited….realized it was…panic…”

- “I saw them…LB. pressing…. against A….She was naked, school dress torn…lips fastened hungrily……hands unzipping his leather trousers, fingers laced behind muscular buttocks. He raised her legs around him….”

- “I ran forward…leaping onto LB’s back…A. fell away….lightening struck…filled me….with Power…It was an ache of pleasure withheld, the moment before orgasm… Suddenly I knew….the Power….letting a part of it run through me…uncaring, as I took my pleasure.”

- “…I looked down ….. seeing her naked for the first time…….”

- “…remembering the feel of the Power, wanting to use it…..to slake its lust and my own on her, make her just a receptacle for pleasure.”

- Does not go through with the sex. A is glad…."you always gave me the choice."

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from “Secret Shelf” by Sones, Sonya

- Collection of poems

- from “In My Dreams” :“…wishing he would remove every stitch of my clothes… slowly unbuttoning my blouse….dreaming of my nipples rising up….when he cups his palms over the lace of my bra..”

- Author says “….like most teenagers, my inner teen is obsessed with sex.”

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from “Snake” by Anderson, Laurie Halse

- Story about an arranged business-related escort/date through parents, the two constantly assessing each other.

- “..she looked really hot doing chin-ups……her breasts are small, but very close to my fingertips….I have a wicked boner.”

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from “The Cure for Curtis” by Lynch, Chris

- “….he browses his modest library of soft to medium core pornography….”

- “….image upon image, man upon woman …..a sea of bodies….pool of flesh….arms hands feet nipples tongues penises….slick and wet…..men on women on men….women on women on women….men on men on men…..sweat rolls….orange oil lubes….rubbing and rubbing….warm, cream, hands on it, mouth on it, hands on hips, hips to mouth, hands on it again, hard ,wet, front, back … harder, harder….”

- “….I need you to come over here. And bring a joint.”

- “P lights it and takes his good fair share, three hits in a row……C takes three long, hard hits….then two more….”

- “….reaches under his bed….his collection….spread out on the floor in front of him…investigating the scenes…the girl scenes, the girl-girl scenes. The guy-girl scenes…”

- “My mother [L’s] told me you were high when she came to get me. Said I shouldn’t even let you in. I told her ….you were even more harmless this way. … walks to her bed….in her shorty nightgown…”

- L takes off her nightgown. “C follows her smooth, naked bottom to the bed…”

- Apparently C could not perform the sexual act.

- Says L “Studies show dope….plays hell with your sexual function….If you hadn’t smoked…you would have done fine.”

- C says “I’m gay…..I knew I wasn’t going to make it before I even started. I had as much chance of satisfying the fish as I did of satisfying you.”

- L: “You weren’t gay last Sunday, if I recall.”

- “L crawls from beneath the covers, crouches naked in front of C”

- C: “I had these dreams….like I was in a gay porn film…doing stuff…I don’t even know where I learned it…’”

- L and C have conversation about each of their sexual fantasies about sex with same gender partners. C says “I should be a little more open-minded…”

- “He swings one leg over her, presses himself into her curved hip….follows her closely…on the other side of the bed median….gets all whispery and close in her ear…Suddenly busy….interested…”

-----------------------------

from “The Acuteness of Desire” Lowenthal, Michael

- “At R’s 10th birthday party, M showed us all he was a faggot…..Before we started strip poker, JS. proclaimed, ‘Anyone who gets a boner is queer.’”

- “…he spread his cards on the carpet….Fruit of the Looms were stainless but baggy….he tugged down the briefs…….We stared at the bald truth of his erection…seesawed like a forgotten fishing pole…”

- story fast-forward’s to 10th grade where J can’t stop thinking about M. “…I’d be dizzy with other memories: his dick flopping from his underpants, the reddish vein barber-poling up its length…flared out like a Chinese pagoda’s roof. In an instant my zipper would be down.”

- “yearbook….opening it to the page with his picture and studying it, then slamming the book closed with my dick over his smiling face, whipping it harder and harder until the pages stuck together….thinking of him in the shower, on the way to school, during band….wanting to do more..”

- “…You gonna tell me you fuck your dog?”

- “No…..know how our desks are just across the aisle?….you turned around to hand me a paper….and I could see your dick; it was hanging out of your underwear……I didn’t think about it until a couple of nights ago I was jacking off and suddenly it popped into my head….the thought of your dick …. I could picture it in my head…”

- “I think that’s pretty normal…..I’ve heard it’s even normal for guys our age to jack off together and stuff….just fooling around.’”

- “M let his body go limp so I could lift off his T-shirt…..I flashed…to image of M …what had hooked me was not just his boner… He slipped his hand under my shirt and whisked it up…..”

- “In seconds we had each other’s pants off…..we just lay there a minute, getting used to….so much skin. I pressed close…………I was startled when M reached down to my dick…….he started squeezing his fingers…….experimenting with different levels of pressure…….”

- “M had one leg locked between mine, so that his dick was smashed between his stomach and my thigh…..hand jerked up and down on me….hips humped…..murmuring…’This is the best when it’s flattened, and….shit…cried one last word…..I felt a pool of warmth seeping on my thigh….And then I came, letting M.’s hand catch it all…”

- “…I was messy, too, but in no hurry to wipe M’s…gift from my leg.”

-----------------------------

from “Troll Bumps” by Stoehr, Shelley

- “It was up to me to make six months of sex and warm cuddling more than just six months of sex and cuddling.”

- “ The sixth time we had sex – yes, I was counting, because it was important to me to tally my emotions…”

- “M sighed very quietly….which was how I knew he came. He was never noisy in bed and I couldn’t just feel what was happening to him….little clues like his cum-sigh so I could respond but still keep most of my attention focused on memorizing M ….I examined the knobby slope of his pelvis….The size of his butt cheeks as compared to my cupped palms was duly noted…..”

- “ D couldn’t possibly have troll bumps, but I wondered what other interesting abnormality I might find on his body.”

- “ we started down the road….I stopped under the sign, feeling not like a decent-looking girl who might get laid by a decent-looking guy in a small town…”

-----------------------------

from “Watcher” by Johnson, Angela

- “It wasn’t anything like what my running buddies – who claimed to have done it a hundred times – with a thousand girls – told me it would be…..I didn’t know where her body stopped and mine started…she always thought it was so cool how we fit each other’s body….perfectly – walking beside her, kissing….making love.”

- “It used to embarrass me when she’d talk about sex when we had our clothes on….I lose control when I see her walking, even…rough moments at school when I ….had to cover up with a book. She moves me….”

- “I follow her because I want all of her in different ways……..I’m not a dangerous stalker. Watching Jacks (and she knows I do it) is passion. It’s very safe sex…”

- “One night it rained so hard we laid in front of the TV….That was the first time I had to have all of her……..the second time was the next day…..”

- “I am a watcher of J. It’s more sensual than skin to skin, body to body, lips to lips.”

-----------------------------

from “The Welcome” by Donoghue, Emma

- Story is about a co-op of women living together. Most of them are lesbians.

- “you came out at fifteen, but you haven’t done a thing about it yet…..you’ve seen every kind of woman pass through these doors, and you haven’t let one of them lay a hand on you….”

- “..I could do without another one of her rants about regular orgasms being crucial to health.”

- “ the louder the shrieks from C’s attic room, the more often I walked into the living room and found anonymous bodies pillowing…..the less I felt like attempting it…….never enough privacy…”

- “At my birthday party I got as far as kissing a German acupuncturist and by breakfast……my housemates had given me…latex gloves…..advice about sexual positions…”

- “…..favorite joke….What’s the best way to make a man come? Who the fuck cares!”

- “I still hadn’t gathered a single clue about her sexual orientation…..the fact that I was a dyke had been clear……….Maybe J …..would never know it till my kiss woke her.”

- “You should have copped of with someone your first week in this house.”

- “Jesus, woman, …. how hot does it have to get before you’ll show a little flesh? …She hauled on the dressing gown and it fell open….”

- “D told her not to be such a fuckwit.”

-“..lay naked after love..”

-“..drank themselves blind on home-brewed.. made wild love

-“Their love affairs were slow and difficult and often disturbed by sinister omens..”

-“..for as far as the eye could see, a stream of dead animals floated in a marsh of blood.. German mastiffs, maddened by.. rabies, had torn to pieces every animal.. until.. [he] hack[ed] him to pieces with his machete.”

-“he was the 1st man that [she] heard urinate... the sound of his stallion’s stream seemed so potent, so replete with authority... years weakened the stream.. wetting the rim of the toilet bowl each time... as a young man his stream was so defined and so direct.. he won contests for marksmanship in filling bottles.. with ravages of age oblique and scattered.. a fantastic fountain, impossible to control... humiliating... he wiped the toilet bowl each time..”

-“..only consolation [of old age], even for someone like him who had been a good man in bed, was sexual peace: the slow, merciful extinction of his venereal appetite.”

-“..he suffered from chronic constipation, which forced him to take enemas throughout his life.”

-“At least once a week he ended the evening with a little bird, as he called them, one of the many who sold emergency love in a transient hotel for sailors. When he met [Mr. FA], the 1st thing he did.. was to initiate him into the secrets of his paradise.. chose for him the little birds.. discussed their price and style.. offered to pay.. for their services.. FA did not accept.. had decided not to lose his virginity unless it was for love.”

-“..LT had the rosebud genitals of a cherub.. fortunate defect, because the most tarnished birds argued over who would have the chance to go to bed with him, and then they shrieked as if their throats were being cut.. said he used an ointment made of snakes venom that inflamed the woman’s loins.. FA met a man who lived like a king by exploiting 3 women at the same time. The 3 rendered their accounts at dawn, prostrate at his feet to beg forgiveness for.. meager profits.. only gratification they sought was that he go to bed with the one who brought him the most $$$. FA thought [only] terror could induce such indignities, but 1 of the 3 girls surprised him...There are things she said you do only for love.”

-“..drink from the bottle until dawn.. became drunk.. first in the taverns.. stared out to sea from the jetties where lovers without a roof over their heads made consoling love, until.. he succumbed to unconsciousness.. found him wallowing in a pool of fragrant vomit in a cove of the bay where drowning victims washed ashore.”

-“..his youthful adventures in the transient hotel.. his initiation into loveless love. Life.. began after noon, when his friends the birds got up as bare as the day they were born... palace populated by naked nymphs.. many displayed in their nudity traces of their past: scars of knife thrusts in the belly, starbursts of gunshot wounds, ridges of the razor cuts of love, C-sections sown up by butchers. Some had young children with them.. unfortunate fruits of youthful defiance or carelessness.. took off their children’s clothes.. so they would not feel different in the palace of nudity... daily fiesta that lasted nil dusk, when the woman marched, singing, toward he bathrooms... dressed, painted themselves up.. and went out to hunt the1st prey of the nite. then life... became impersonal and dehumanized.. impossible to share in it without paying”

-“When she was .. old.. could not think of a better place to live than the hotel of her youthful debaucheries.”

-“..when the girls were dressing to receive.. clients.. woman who cleaned.. the hotel came into his cubicle.. she passed close to the bed, and he felt a warm and tender hand low on his belly.. searching.. finding.. unbuttoning his trousers.. he pretended to read.. She had 2 children, each by a different father... because she could never love any man who came back after the 3rd visit.. came to work at 6pm.. sweeping, picking up condoms, changing the sheets.. things.. men left after love... vomit and tears.. puddles of blood, patches of excrement.. work was hard and the pay was low.. could not endure the sobs.. the creaking of the bedsprings, which filled her blood with.. ardor and.. sorrow that by dawn she could bear the desire to go to bed with the 1st beggar.. any miserable drunk..”

-“..obscene postcards and aphrodisiac ointments.. famous Catalonian condoms with iguana crests that fluttered.. or with flowers at the tip that would open their petals at the will of the user.”

-“..the water in the cisterns [thought to be] the cause of the scrotal hernia so many men in the city endured.. he could not avoid a spasm of horror at the site of men with ruptures sitting in their doorways.. fanning their enormous testicle as if it were a child sleeping between their legs.”

-“..was the spot where the bay belched filth from the sewers back on land. The offal from the.. slaughterhouse was also thrown away here - severed heads, rotting viscera, animal refuse that floated.. in a swamp of blood. the buzzards fought for it with the rats and the dogs..”

-“..cemetery was overflowing.. no room left in the churches... air in the Cathedral grew thin with the vapors of badly sealed crypts... graves were dug deep enough to bury the dead on 3 levels.. without coffins, but this had to be stopped because the brimming ground turned into a sponge that oozed sickening, infected blood..”

-“..asked the patient to sit up,.. opened her nightdress down to the waist, her pure high breasts with childish nipples shone.. in the darkness of the bedroom...’

-“the 2 cousins began a t once.. they bathed together, naked,.. soaped each other.. compared their buttocks,.. breasts..”

-“..saw 3 bloated, green, human corpses float past, with buzzards sitting on them.. 2 men went by, one.. without a head, and then a young girl... he never knew.. if they were victims of cholera or the war... nauseating stench..”

-“..hand.. seized him.. pulled him.. into a cabin.. could barely see the naked woman.. who pushed him onto the bunk.. unbuckled his belt, unbuttoned his trousers, impaled herself on him as if she were riding horseback, and stripped him, without glory of his virginity.”

-“..she would receive only the men she liked.. without charging one red cent, because it was the men who were doing her the favor... rumor circulated that Archbishop Dante de Luna had not died by accident... but he had [killed himself] intentionally because she threatened to expose him if he persisted in his sacrilegious solicitations.”

-“..he tried to teach her the tricks he had seen others perform through the peepholes in the transient hotel... to let themselves be observed while they made love, to replace the missionary position with the bicycle on the sea.. chicken on the grill... the drawn and quartered angel.. almost broke their necks.. trying to devise something new in a hammock.. she was a fearless apprentice but lacked.. talent for guided fornication.. never had a moment of inspiration.. her orgasms were inopportune.. an uninspired lay.. She often said to him: I adore you because you made me a whore.. he had taught her that nothing one does in bed is immoral... convinced her that one comes into the world with a.. allotment of lays, and whoever does not use them.. loses them..”

-“..he had some 25 notebooks, with 622 entries of long term liaisons, apart from the countless fleeting adventures ..”

-“..was when she was initiated into solitary love.. holding her breath so she would not give herself away in the bedroom she shared.. then.. sprawling on the bathroom floor.. did it with certain pangs of conscience.. her cousins boasted to each other.. about the number of orgasms they had in one day.. about their form and size.”

-“..he grasped her by the wrist and moved her hand along his body.. until she felt the .. breath of a naked animal.. eager and erect.. she did not withdraw her hand.. but instead commended her body and soul to the Blessed Virgin, clenched her teeth.. began to identify her rearing adversary by touch, discovering its size, the strength of its shaft.. she released it.. as if tossing it in the trash. I have never been able to understand how that thing works, she said... he explained it to her.. moved her hand to all the places he mentioned.. she grasped.. turned it this way and that.. how ugly it is, even uglier than a woman’s thing.. he said: it is like a firstborn son, you spend your life working for him.. and at he moment of truth he does just as he pleases... he slipped his hand under the sheet and caresses her flat, straight pubic hair: the pubic hair of a Japanese... he was aware he did not love her.. had married her because he liked her haughtiness.. seriousness.. strength.. some vanity on his part.. At dawn, when they fell asleep, she was still a virgin, but she would not be one for much longer.. following night.. found her waiting for him naked in the bed.. it was she who took the initiative.. without fear, without regret.. no traces of bloody ceremony except for the rose of honor on the sheet.. continued to make love well, night and day.. made love every day..”

-“..he could no longer tell if his habit of fornicating without hope was a mental necessity or a simple vice of the body. His visits to the transient hotel became less frequent,,”

-“..leave his office at 5pm.. began to hunt like a chicken hawk.. picked up serving girls in the parks, black woman in the market, sophisticated young ladies.. on the beaches, gringas on the boats.. took them to jetties.. took them wherever he could, and sometimes even where he could not.. hurry into a dark entryway... behind the gate.”

-“He distrusted the sensual type.. tended to e the most passive in bed.. preferred the skinny little tadpoles.. who seemed to disappear when they took off their clothes, who made you feel sorry for them when their bones cracked at the first impact.. could leave a man who bragged about.. about his virility ready for the trashcan. He made notes of these.. observations.. intending to write a practical supplement to Lovers Companion..”

-“..was never clear if she abandoned her husband, or if he had abandoned her, or if they had abandoned each other.. but he went to live with his regular mistress.. then she felt free... to receive.. a riverboat captain whom she had often received in the middle of the night at the back door.”

-“ [riverboat captain gets drunk, passes out] .. had to ask F. to help her drag the inert body of the beached whale to bed and undress him as he slept. ten in a flash of inspiration.. the 2 of them undressed in the next room.. and for more than 7 years continued undressing.. while the captain was on a trip.. he always went unannounced.. any hour of the day or nite.. She would open the door... stark naked, with a.. ribbon in her hair.. would not let him take another step until she had undressed him.. removed his clothes with sure delight as soon as she closed the door, not even giving him time to greet her.. first the buttons of his fly, one by one after each kiss.. until he was like a live fish that had been split open from head to tail [more description of undressing].. she attacked him.. there on the same sofa where she had just undressed him, and only on rare occasions in the bed. She mounted him.. absorbed in herself, her eyes closed.. {blah, blah] until she succumbed.. with a jubilant explosion of total victory.. he would say: you treat me as if I were just anybody.. she would say: Not at all; as if you were nobody.. [one ] Sunday.. they spent the afternoon naked in the captains enormous bed... she.. step[ped] out of the bedroom.. screamed with horror.. the only objects left in the house were the lamps attached to the walls.. everything had vanished.. message painted on the rear wall: This is what you get for fucking around.”

-“.. he confronted the fascinating.. black woman smeared with shit and love.. wipe his ass with his principles and make love to her even if it cost nuggets of shining gold.”

-“..suggested that she loosen her bodice.. hurried to help her.. her astronomical bosom was able to breath freely.. caress on her neck.. kissed her in the same spot.. she turned toward him with all her monumental body, eager and warm, and they rolled on the floor in an embrace. the cat awoke with a screech and jumped on top of them. ..groped like desperate virgins.. found each other any way they could.. soaked with sweat.. more concerned with avoiding the furious claws.. than with the disastrous love they were making.. the following nite, their scratches still bleeding they continued to make love for several years.... life was not worth living without a man in her bed. What [he] liked best about her was that in order to reach the heights of glory, she had to suck on an infants pacifier while they made love.. they had a string of them, in every size, shape and color.. hung on the headboard so she could reach them without looking in her moments of extreme urgency.”

-“Like the countless other women who loved him, and even those who gave and received pleasure without loving him, she accepted him for what he really was: a man passing through. ..showed up at her house at any hour, above all on Sunday mornings.. She would leave whatever she was doing.. and devote her entire body to trying to make him happy in the enormous mythic bed that was always ready for him. ..he told her, as he told them all, that she had been his only lover... he had to resign himself to having the furious cat in bed with them, although [she] had his claws removed so he would not tear them apart while they made love. ..rolling in bed until they were exhausted..”

-“..continued to shout her [poetry] recitation as they made love, and [he] had to force a pacifier into her mouth, as one did with children to make them stop crying. ..She said Spiritual love from the waist up and physical love from the waist down.”

-“If they don’t have more children it’s because they don’t fuck”

-“She always had a headache, or it was too hot, always, or she pretended to be asleep, or she had her period again, her period, always her period.. after 10 years of marriage women had their periods as often as 3 times a week.”

-“..she preferred to remain naked for several hours.. [he] opened a can of red paint.. wet his index finger, and painted [her] pubis with an arrow of blood pointing south, and on her belly the words: This pussy is mine. that same nite, [she] undressed in front of her husband, having forgotten what was scrawled there, and he did not say a word,.. but he went into the bathroom for his razor while she was putting on her nightgown, and in a single slash he cut her throat”

-“..he would find her at 11am naked in the unmade bed, and to make matters worse, with a doctor on top of her.”

-“..she lay on her canvas bed, wearing a thin slip, [her] beauty was endless.. her siren’s thighs.. her astonished breasts... he palpated her internal organs.. this marvelous creature was as beautiful inside as out, and then he gave himself over to the delights of touch... [she] abandoned herself to his hands.. she said [doctor] I thought this was not permitted by your ethics.”

-“..rushed after her into the bedroom, throwing everything on the floor.. and made panic-stricken love with his trousers down around his knees.. more concerned with leaving as soon as possible than with achieving pleasure. She was left dangling,.. while he was already buttoning up.. then he returned home ashamed of his weakness, longing for death, cursing himself for the lack of courage that kept him from asking . to pull down his trousers and burn his ass on the brazier. ..could think of nothing except.. her waiting for him in bed with nothing but the mound of her dark bush under her madwoman’s skirt from Jamaica: the hellish circle.”

-“..he was making emergency love to one of the Sunday girls, sitting on a desk chair with her astride him, when the door opened without warning. .. ‘ll be damned! said his uncle, without the least sign of shock. you screw just like your dad! ..And you, Senorita, feel free to carry on. i swear.. I have not seen your face.”

-“..remembered R., the very first one, who had carried off the prize of his virginity, and whose memory was still painful... remembered N., the only one with whom he had profaned his mother’s house.. she had the inclinations of an alleycat.. both of them were condemned to infidelity. Still, they continued to be intermittent lovers for almost 30 years,.. their.. motto: Unfaithful but not disloyal. ..remembered other widows he had loved.. Widow A., the amorous one, who would rip the buttons from his clothes.. and J. ..mad with love for him, who was ready to cut off his penis with gardening shears as he slept... learned what he had experienced many times.. that one can be in love with several people at he same time, feel the same sorrow with each, and not betray any o