Book Titles: A-G

33 Snowfish - Rapp, Adam
A Seahorse Year - D'Erasmo, Stacey
Alice Alone - Naylor, Phyllis Reynolds
Alice in Rapture, Sort Of - Naylor, Phyllis Reynolds
Alice On Her Way - Naylor, Phyllis Reynolds
Alice on the Outside - Naylor, Phyllis Reynolds
All Over But the Shoutin' - Bragg, Rick
All the Pretty Horses - McCarthy, Cormac
Alt Ed - Atkins, Catherine
Always Outnumbered Always Outgunned - Mosley, Walter
Always Running La Vida Loca: Gang Days In L.A. - Rodriguez, Luis T.
Angus, Thongs and Full-Frontal Snogging - Rennison, Louise
Animal Dreams - Kingsolver, Barbara
Annie On My Mind - Garden, Nancy
Are You in the House Alone? - Peck, Richard
Athletic Shorts - Crutcher, Chris
Baby Be-Bop - Block, Francesca Lia
Bastard Out of Carolina - Alison, Dorothy
Be True to Your School: A Diary of 1964 - Greene, Bob
Beloved - Morrison, Toni
Black Boy - Wright, Richard
Bless Me Ultima - Anaya, Rudolfo A.
Boy's Life - McCammon, Robert
B-More Careful - Holmes, Shannon
Breaking Boxes - Jenkins, A. M.
Chinese Handcuffs - Crutcher, Chris
Chronicle of a Death Foretold - Marquez, Gabriel Garcia
Dance on My Grave - Chambers, Aidan
Deal With It! A whole new approach.. - Drill, Esther & McDonald, Heather & Odes, Rebecca
Desire Lines - Gantos, Jack
Dreamland - Dessen, Sarah
Druids - Llywelyn, Morgan
Eight Seconds - Ferris, Jean
Ellen Foster - Gibbons, Kaye
Empress of the World - Ryan, Sara
Exodus - Uris, Leon
Fade - Cormier, Robert
Fair Game - Tamar, Erika
Fallen Angels - Myers, Walter Dean
Families - Jannes, Aylette
Fools Crow - Welch, James
From The Notebooks Of Melanin Sun - Woodson, Jacqueline
Gates of Fire - Pressfield, Steven
Geography Club - Hartinger, Brent
Girl Goddess #9 - Block, Francesca Lia
Go Ask Alice - Anonymous
Going After Cacciato - O'Brien, Tim
Growing Up Chicana/o - Lopez, Tiffany Ana

NOTE: TITLES beginning with 'The' are listed under T

Click here for Books H-L

Click here for Books M-P

Click here for Books R-S

Click here for Books T-The H

Click here for Books The I-Z

"33 Snowfish"

Rapp, Adam
Candlewick Press
179 pages
Copyright 2003

- From Fairfax County Public School library catalog review: "..dark tale about three runaways who understand hatred and violence better than love. Custis, an orphan, is fleeing from his "owner," a producer of pornography and snuff films. Custis is accompanied by Curl, a child prostitute, and her boyfriend, Boobie, who has just murdered his parents and kidnapped his baby brother to sell on the streets. Drawn together more by desperation than friendship, they roam from one town to the next, stealing and scavenging." Excerpts from

- "On top of everything else, Boobie's got the clap. On Highway 53 he couldn't stop swallowing screams. It got so bad he had to pull over and get out of the car. When I checked on him he was backed up against a telephone pole pouring Gatorade down his pants like some kind of scientist." (page 1)

- "Him and Curl would drop their lines right next to those n_ggers with the straw hats who drove up from Kankakee in the old broken-down cars. Skankakee n_ggers I call them." (page 6)

- "...but then his pops -- this big sucker who looked like a anchorman -- caught me p_ssing in the bushes and called the police."

- "If you ask me, the more names you use, the better chance you got of selling a baby. As long as it's got two eyes and all its fingers and it ain't no n_gger."

- "Curl thinks I got evil in me cuz of Bob Motley -- this fat man who used to own me." (page 7)

- "In Sergeant Dick's room you didn't care about the pit bull smell so much cuz at least you was warm and them Rockdale vagrancy pigs wasn't gonna f_ck with you."

- "...but sometimes that gives you ass failure." (page 8)

- "'Make sure you add some bleach to that water,' one of them ladies said. `Oh, I will,' I promised. `I'll add some bleach.' When they wasn't looking I p_ssed in it. I bleaches up that mop water real good." (page 9)

- "rusty-ass barbecue grill" (page 10)

- "Before I skated me and Bob Motley made like four films together. The best one was called Girl Eats Boy, where Bob Motley puts this black pillow case over his head and pretends like he's cutting me with the electric saw. Then he grinds up my legs in a hamburger maker and feeds me to this little girl who lives under the kitchen sink. The little girl's name was Wendy Sue. She was like seven or some sh_t. I think she belonged to one of Bob Motley's boys, but I ain't sure. One night I pulled her shirt up and stared at her body. She didn't even know it cuz she was sleeping." (page 11)

- "There was all types of stuff in there, like boots and boxes of porno magazines and a electric guitar. There was a shoebox that had DEATH TO ALL WHO MEDDLE on it. I opened it and there was my gat, just waiting for me to take it. It was the blackest thing I ever seen, and as soon as I touched it I got a boner and I knew I wouldn't never be able to let it go."

- "Once, I heard this old, blind sucker at Renfro Park say that if you shoot the right four or five people you'll grow a new life." (pages 12-13)

- "He mostly just hunts little kids. Sometimes he hunts kids who are littler than me. He finds them lost at the mall or stranded down by the Rockdale bus station." "Once Sidekick found this little half-n_gger called Ulysses crying under the big sign at Arthur Treacher's Fish & Chips. Sidekick gave him a pack of Fleer baseball and Ulysses got right in his El Comino like there was about skeighty-eight more packs in the back seat or some sh_t. Sidekick always keeps Tootsie Rolls and Wrigley's Spearmint gum in his pockets too." "They would stick him in Sergeant Dick's room with me, and we would watch Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and he would tell me all the wack sh_t Sidekick was doing to him." "He was a dirty-ass little half-n_gger, too -- a lot dirtier than me. And he wasn't dirty in no dusty way, he was dirty in a skanky way. Like he was always sh_tting his pants and sitting down in it and stuff like that." (pages 14-15)

- "I ain't no f_cking milk carton kid, I'll tell you that right now." "I skated from Bob Motley's duplex after I found out he was gonna put me in this snuff film and how much money they could make and how many hookers they could get and how much hurricane they could buy." (pages 16-17)

- "Sometimes he'd even just stand there and stare at them with his black eyes. He sis it to a n_gger in Lockport once and the n_gger started running away all frantic like his house was burning down and sh_t." (page 18)

- "It's funny, cuz that picture of Jesus makes him look like one of them old homeless suckers you see sh_tting in the bushes at Renfro Park." ".after I got caught p_ssing on the floor in the boy's bathroom. I only did that cuz one of them retarded kids stuck a fan in the toilet and I didn't want to p_ss on it and electrified. They wasn't going to let me come back, but Sister Blister bowed her head and practically frenched them other nun's fat asses so they let me stay." (pages 19-20)

- "I can even read them sex books in Old Man Turpentine's Fun Shop if I go slow and use my finger." (page 21)

- "Before he could get them numbers dialed, Boobie snatched his cell phone and stuck that man square in the eye. He stuck him good too." "That man's eye swolled up so fast he had to sit in his bushes a minute. After he stopped bleeding Boobie made him give us some money and this fancy metal pen from his pocket. But he smashed up that cell phone." "No one goes out there no more, cuz they found some woman under a tree with her head torn off. "Boobie's parents kicked him out after he tried to set their house on fire." (page 22)

- "big-ass migration headaches" "Aunty Frisco's the one who got Curl to trick. After that these old low-water suckers in brown suit started hanging around in the Fun Shop, and one by one they would disappear through the back door and head up the stairs." "Aunty Frisco didn't let Curl have no money, though -- that's how come Curl started tricking on her own. Down in the Fun Shop them lines started getting smaller and smaller. Sometimes Curl would meet her tricks in Old Mon Turpentine's back room. Curl says he was always looking out for her." "Sometimes I'd wake up and watch Curl's and Boobie's shadows moving. Then I'd close me eyes and listen to their voices groaning all hot and slow." (page 25)

- "Afterwards we touched we touched tongues and put some ants in a marshmallow and ate it. Curl says pledges are good cuz they give you reasons to do sh_t." (pages 26-27)

- "The things about babies is they're always grabbing at your tits." (page 28)

- "Before we left I made a hundred and fifty dollars tricking the trumpet player at Arlo's Blues Lounge." "Besides that hundred and fifty dollars that old trumpet player didn't have crap in his pockets but some chump change and a box of Chiclets." (page 30)

- "I didn't even have to do nothing but bend down and blow zeros on his stomach while he masturbated himself. Old men are funny like that." (page 31)

- "He'll walk by the cash register and throw a light bulb over his shoulder so it breaks in the aisle. Then when the checkout girl jumps he'll grab two packs of Basics and a box of Nerds, stuff it all down his pants, and turn around and help sweep up the mess." "He says when those migraines come the only thing that helps is if he floats his hand in warm water. He usually p_sses his pants but it makes the pain go away. I've had to give him one of my things to wear about four times." "Most normal boys would fall out of a thong like a rock in a sock, but Custis is hardly developed yet. He still has that bald little boy package." (page 38)

- "Old Man Turpentine says that Big Tiny was Custis's mom and that they didn't own a piano and that she had this little beard on her chin and that she committed suicide by eating a shaving mirror." (page 39)

- "I would've done him if he didn't fart so much." "I don't mind taking someone out back and putting a smile on his face if he's got something thick in his billfold." "When me and Boobie do it, it's different. Because it's slow and quiet and it makes me cry. And no one's ever done me that cold-blooded before. My job is one thing and my heart is another. Tricking's like being a waitress or sacking groceries. It puts money in your purse. And when that money gets thick, things are usually okay. And you don't have to answer to no one if you don't have a pimp and I don't have one and I don't plan on tricking for one either. "Most pimps wind up either knocking your teeth out or stealing all your money. You have to go solo if you want to get ahead in any real way." "Tricking's better than living in one of those Rockdale juvy hotels, that's for sure." "When I turn sixteen I'll probably start working a club like this one on the east side of Joliet called Harmony." (pages 40-41)

- "I know some girls who bring home two hundred a night doing this thing called lap dancing. All you have to do is rub up against some college boy for a minute while he sits in a chair. You wear high heels and some booty floss and that's it. It's easy work." "My girl Dee lap danced at Harmony for a while. She made so much money she moved to Crown Point, Indiana, and started taking these correspondence courses so she could get a degree in administrative office management." "I would lap dance just to make some profits because there's always the future to plan." (page 42)

- "So the baby keeps grabbing my tits and Boobie expects me to name him something that rich people would like." (page 43)

- "Like those blackbirds are all flying south and my arms keep itching and if I don't turn another trick we're going to run out of money." (page 44)

- "How all you got to do is find a good corner to lean up against- one that hopefully ain't been p_ssed in too many times. (page 51)

- "...but how sometimes it was tricky cuz once them races start it gets too noisy cuz of how them tire screams sound like cats getting f_cked." (page 52)

- "And some of them cars was honking all crazy at us and calling us faggits cuz of how Boobie was holding my hand, but that didn't matter." (page 53)

- "It was either Britney or Pink or that little skinny bitch who can outsing all of them." (page 56)

- "You could hear the water sprinkling and the baby splashing and Curl keeping his hands off her titties, going, 'Quit! Quit you!'" (page 62)

- "big-ass" and "rusty-ass" (page 63)

- "...and kind of rocking back and forth like he was about to p_ss himself." "Who the f_ck are you?" (page 64)

- "You got a gat, and I p_ss nickels." "That sh_t is wack, kid." (page 66)

- "What the f_ck is the macaroni dance?" (page 67)

- "Maybe it's cuz that's the color of mud and dog sh_t." (page 69)

- "They look like somethin' a n_gger would wear." (page 70)

- "Yes you is. Faggit." "I'm not a faggit." "Faggit faggit faggit." "cheap bitches" "His knees was wiggling even faster now, like he was p_ssing in his little checkered underwears." I went, `Don't be such a p_ssy, Bruce.'" "I'm not a p_ssy." (page 71)

- "Then I told him to stop being a p_ssy again and to go and he kept wanting to give me that baseball card with the n_gger on it. He didn't even ask for his phony-ass space gun." (page 72)

- "You could still hear Curl keeping the baby's hands away from her titties." (page 74)

- " I started crying like a little bitch." (page 77)

- "He was underneath the bed in his sh_tted diaper." (page 81)

- "big-ass" and "spooky-ass" (page 92)

- "The only time she leaves the can is to sh_t and p_ss." (page 93)

- "...cuz along with them yellow smears under her eyes her p_ss is turning brown." "Back in Rockdale this old skanky sucker who hung out by the water tower called Joey Greenway got brown p_ss and he died like four days later." (page 95)

- "Curl says the best way to learn about humans is by studying babies cuz they ain't been f_cked or starved yet." (page 96)

- "This one Rockdale hippie man called Jerry who hangs out down by the Speedway used to go around saying Jesus was a n_gger and that all them people in the Bible was n_ggers. I told him how Bob Motley says you can't get no halo if you're a n_gger cuz of all that motor oil they put in their hair. Bob Motley said that n_ggers don't got no hearts. He said that their chests is filled with donkey sh_t instead." "...and Boobie always putting green Gatorade down his d_ckhole cuz of his clap." "Sometime I wonder what happened to the little kids who was in the van. They probably got their heads chopped off or some sh_t." (pages 97-98)

- "Curl's lung frost smell is skanking up the van pretty bad. Boobie still does her, though -- even with that yellow crawling under her eyes and her insides dripping all over her dress. It's cuz that love he's got for her is stronger than her lung frost. He won't French her, though, no matter how much Curl begs for it." "I saw her frenching her hand last night like she wished it was Boobie." "I guess that's cool." "When everything's all skanked and the trees is dead and you got a lung frost and the snow keeps falling sideways and you don't got nothing but a sheepskin and a couple of curtains to keep you warm, you can always French your hand." (page 99)

- "bouncing off his black-ass head" (page 105)

- "If it worked I'd shoot your old creaky-ass." "And then the n_gger pulls my other hand out of my pocket and he looks at it." "He goes, `You know you got frostbite?'" "I just pull it back and go, `That's cuz I stuck it in your mama's p_ssy." (page 108)

- "shiney-ass" (page 111)

- "...and how I got snow all up in my crack and sh_t." "I felt like crying, too, but I ain't no little bitch so I didn't." (page 113)

- "It's funny how babies only cry when they're hungry or they gotta sh_t." (page 115)

- "...he sh_tted his diaper again." (page 117)

- "Don't be no little bitch." "Curl, Curl, wake up you dumb hooker!" (page 119)

- "I think it's cuz of the way her arms is all stretched out and skinny and how naked she is and how her little titties is all swollen and pointy like they never growed right." (page 126)

- "Bob Motley says if you tell a n_gger your name that he'll steal it and use it if he gets busted by the pigs. I still don't know how old his lopsided ass is. The last thing I need is for him to get busted f_cking a dog or some sh_t and then give the pigs my name. Bob Motley says that all n_ggers f_ck dogs and sheep and that their d_cks got hooks on the end." (pages 132-133)

- "...even though Seldom kept saying them prayers, I thought maybe God wouldn't let Curl into heaven cuz he's such a sucker; like she would walk up to that check-in station or that holy tollbooth, and some angel with big black boots would come out and kick her in the ass and throw her off the cloud." (page 137)

- "She wasn't sh_t but a two-dollar hooker?" "She'd do any man with a pair of shoes." (page 138)

- "Then I started crying like a little bitch." (page 140)

- "I was like, `Goddamn hooker. Goddamn bazooka-fiending hooker.'" (page 141)

- "Hey, Seldom, there's a hooker on a pogo stick and she's flashing her p_ssy!" (page 146)

- "For some reason I told him to stop being a little bitch. I was like, `Stop being a little bitch, Seldom.'" "I ain't being no little bitch." "I went, `Little Christmas bitch'." (page 147)

- "Part of me didn't want to say sh_t after all that bitching he was doing." (page 148)

- "And it wasn't just no normal little-bitch cry; that sh_t felt like it was coming out of my feet and my ass and the bones in my back." (page 153)

- "I didn't say nothing back. I just took my pants down and climbed up in his bed. His mattress is real high off the floor so you kind of have to jump up in it." "After I got up in his bed I turned away from him and got on my hands and knees like a dog. I stared at the picture and waited for Seldom to do what I knew he was going to do." "Seldom went, `Jimster?' again, but I just stayed there like that for a minute. I just stayed there all doggy-style and naked with my ass in the air." "Seldom went, `You asleep, Jimster?'" "I just went, `Go `head, Seldom. Go on and do me.'" "Then I closed my eyes tight and I held my breath cuz I knew he had his big n_gger d_ck out and I knew it was all long and scabby and I knew it had that hook on the end of it like Bob Motley talked about." "And I just knew that sh_t was going to hurt when he stuck it in my and took my buns, too. It didn't matter how much hair grease or motor oil he used. But I didn't care. I just said it again." "I went, `Go on and f_ck me.'" "But Seldom didn't do sh_t." (page 162)

- "He was in such a good mood I thought he was gonna fart balloons and sh_t." (page 171)

- "I was getting p_ssed off for some reason." (page 172)

- "...and I think he sh_t his pants cuz you could smell it." (page 173)

- "...I told him I had ass failure." (page 175)

- The word "sh_t" is used approximately 163 times in a 179 page book. That does not include the occasions when the word was used to mean going to the bathroom. The word "n_gger" is used approximately 55 times.

- In Fairfax County Public School Library System - McLean, Mount Vernon, Robinson and Stuart HS (June 04)


"A Seahorse Year"

A Seahorse Year - D'Erasmo, Stacey

- 16-year old boy gets schizophrenia, his mom has a girlfriend, his sperm donor dad is also homosexual.

- Info only based on Chapter 1; mom having sex with her girlfriend: “[she] parts [her] thighs with her hands, buries her hands, her tongue, in [her].. desperately as if this is their last fuck on earth. [She] shakes, but doesn't come yet. She pulls [her] up beside her... twisted sheets. [she] is sweating and crying at the same time.. her lips feel rough and hot. [she] kisses [her] with deep, purposeful kisses,.... reaches into the drawer of the night table.. pulls out the old cracked maroon cock, slides it up inside [her].. shirt is still half-buttoned on her body. .....[she] says into [her]ear, "Give it here," and when [she] does it"s like a wall falling down and on the other side of the wall is a rushing wind."

- Chapter 2, 3, etc: Who knows...

Just published in 2004, and in a Fairfax County Public School (FCPS) high school library by 2005.


"Alice Alone"

Naylor, Phyllis Reynolds

- For parent donated information on this book Click Here


"Alice in Rapture, Sort Of"

Naylor, Phyllis Reynolds

- For information, review, excerpts see


"Alice on her way"

Naylor, Phyllis Reynolds
Atheneum Books for Young Readers
322 pages, large font
Copyright 2005

- The FCPS library catalog (Reed Business Information) says this is the 17th book in the series of “Alice” books. Another editorial review from School Library Journal, also from Reed Business Information, by Tina Zubak, Carnegie Library of Pittsburgh, says it is the 16th in the series. In any case she [A] is now almost a 16-year old and in 10th grade. This book, the same as Alice on the Outside, is mainly focused on sex and boys and has a very artificial feel, as if it is really sex instruction, intertwined within a weak, formula like plot and disguised or packaged as children’s fiction. In the only significant sub-plot to the main sex education plot, she is getting her license. The School Library Journal review indicates one of her friends “has oral sex with a boy she doesn't know well” and that homosexuality is given a brief and accepting mention. A Booklist review (Hazel Rochman, copyright American Library Association) indicates in a church sexuality class she learns about condoms and how masturbation is “healthy, and it doesn't make you crazy.” The Booklist review also mentions a “blow job” and how the church sexuality class “discussion is fun” and A’s “friends want to hear all about it” and that “readers will [also].” Interestingly the FCPS catalog only mentions “making out” and the “sexuality class at church” but doesn't mention oral sex, masturbation or condoms, and doesn’t give an age/grade indication. The other two reviews indicate Grades 7 – 10.

- The book takes place in Montgomery County, Maryland. Recently there was lots of controversy about high school sex-ed classes in MCPS with one of the issues involving students putting condoms on fruit. In A’s church sex-ed class she does this. It is clear in this 2005 book the author is incorporating this actual event and making a statement that this is good thing for high school children to learn in a coed setting. This book should definitely be read by parents of children in MCPS that are involved in the sex-ed controversy.

- A and friends discuss a newspaper article “Desperate Girls” which discussed “sexual activity of girls between the ages of 12 and 16-how we were getting involved in all kinds of sex.” A jokes “bring on the kangaroos.” A and her friends make fun of purity rings, mentioned in the article. G says her dad didn’t want to give her one and “He said it would be like leading a bear to honey.”

- “..J’s.. always talking about.. sex.. wants us to know that she and J are hot and heavy… wants us to ask.. just so she can brag.. Someone might say, He’s the top man on the team and J will.. say, Well, sometimes the woman’s on top.. trying to turn everything.. to her and sex.”

- “J and K were .. belting out a risqué version [of a song that A’s uncle used to sing to her when she was very small].. On the first night I slept with you.. knew what my mother had told me was true.. several months since that night.. nightie has grown very tight. You thrilled me, you chilled me, you gosh-darn near killed me, in my sweet little nightie.. laughed.. but could feel my cheeks burning.. E said.. stuff like that that makes virgins scared.. almost died of pleasure.. Not necessarily said [another girl].. I don’t know a single girl who enjoyed her first time.. seemed to me that there was a whole lot more sex going on than I knew about, or maybe people just lie.. maybe.. article was true!.. a party’s going on and I’m not invited.. everyone else has wonderful, exotic, erotic life.. would be nice to do something wild for a change..”

- A talking to older brother: “She wants to stay a virgin.. Then I thought about R kissing her naked breasts.. Technically, I mean. Below the waist, anyway.”

- A is mad her dad is “sending her to church to learn about sex.” She is upset. She tells him “we were practically raised heathen” and she has hardly ever gone to church. Her dad tells her she was “not raised heathen” and that “people can be good without belonging to a church” and the kids [going] “aren’t any different from you.” He admits it was the Desperate Girl article that got “[his] attention. A thinks about how an old boyfriend had “ran his hands up her sides close to my breasts and [she] could almost feel herself beginning to melt.” A agrees to go.

- “Why didn’t dad make you take that class” A asks her older brother. He says, “Because I already knew how to put a condom on a banana… I have to put a condom on a banana? Why do I have to know how to do that?... Because a man might want you to do it sometime [he tells her].”

- A tells her friends “We practice putting a condom on a banana.. What?.. In front of the congregation?” her friend says “whatever you learn.. teach me.. If you learn it in church, it must be ok.”

- She goes to the church class. This chapter is titled: “The-New-Girl-Who-Came-to-Learn-About-Sex” The curriculum includes “Intimate Communication; Sexual Orientation; Myths and Facts; Gender Issues; values; Lovemaking… long list.” Group has “a couple who were obviously bf/gf.” A says all the topics “look interesting”.. “But if one of them deals with putting a condom on a banana, I’d zap it.”

- “figure of a female.. sexual parts named.. brief description of each: ovary, cervix, clitoris… male.. testicles, penis, prostrate… I’d been through all this before. The “Our Changing Bodies” unit back in 7th grade health class..”

- “..taping a word on your back.. Clitoris, his sign read. Oh.. my.. God. I stared at the paper.. to see what one-word clue I could give him. The seat of female pleasure, I read. Um.. pleasure? I gulped. Got it! He yelped. Gimmie a ‘c’… gimmie an ‘l’.. he… spelled out the whole word. “Clitoris!” he yelped.. I showed [another boy the sign on my back].. I know it’s male and it’s not an organ, I said… comes from an organ [he said]. Semen? I guessed. You got it! He told me… last person.. could not figure out his word.. hint.. both male and female.. hermaphrodite?.. we burst into laughter. No. But everyone’s got one, said [the instructor]. Anus?.. we howled..”

- “I told [friends] as much as I could remember [about the church class]. P was chiefly interested in whether any of the guys were hot. You probably would have gone for the guy with the word ‘clitoris’ on his back… I hate that word [L said]. Clitoris? I asked? ..seems so.. masculine or something. Like a tiny penis.. don’t even want guys to know I have one.. What do you want guys to think you have down there?.. A Keep Out sign P joked.. No loitering I said.. No vacancy, P added.. No parking said L.. Keep of the grass I finished.. we howled.. wish sex was more like it was in the.. old movies.. said E. My grandmother said.. when she was in high school, movies never showed men and women in bed together… They pretended they didn’t even have bodies [A said]”

- “..hard to watch J and [her boyfriend].. all over each other.. want to say get a room. [he] smiled.. pulled me to him.. we kissed.. grinned.. You think it feels that way when lesbians kiss? L and L? [he asked]. Why not? [A said]. What about gay marriage?[he said]… people are always saying how promiscuous gays are, and yet when they try to settle down with one partner, they can’t make it legal [A said]… L and L.. treated [rotten] by some of the kids..”

- “We parked.. You don’t have to be wild about someone to do whatever.[P said].. And he had a good time, anyway.. I gave him a hand job.. It’s a good idea to practice on somebody you don’t care a lot about so you’ll know how to do it on somebody you do care for. ..don’t believe this.. did he.. ask you to do it.. trying to picture it in my head. ..He just unzipped his pants and put my hand there.. didn’t take long, but it’s kind of sticky.. sort of exciting to see how easily you can turn a guy on.. get a guy begging for it, he’ll do almost anything.. amazing! ..So what did he do for you?.. Nothing. Not that he didn’t try.. If I’d wanted sex though.. he’d have done it. I know he would.”

- Back in church class: “[instructor] explaining [intimacy].. not a single act.. watching a sunset.. talking.. having intercourse.. asked us to name every possible act.. that expressed intimacy or sexual feelings between 2 people.. [other instructor] wrote them on the blackboard. ..oral sex, mutual masturbation.. One of the guys told about a party.. where everyone was doing something sexual short of intercourse to someone else. All in the same room… What’s wrong with that picture? Anything? [instructor asked].. like they’re onstage. Performing, said one girl. can you feel anything for anybody if it doesn’t matter who it’s with and you’ve got an audience? ..Well, it’s safer than having intercourse [guy said]. Can’t argue with that said [instructor]. ..chance for humiliation, said.. tall guy.. Yeah, but if you just look at it a practice session.. said someone else.. [A says], I don’t want to be somebody’s guinea pig.. thinking [about P].”

- “15 for me was the Age of Embarrassment [A’s brother says].. had bet with.. girl.. if I won, she’d let me see her breasts.. I won.. couldn’t get her bra unfastened.. custodian found us [in band room].. vowed I would practice until I could unhook a girl’s bra in 2 seconds.. ordered bra from.. catalog.. dad opened package before I got home. He never quite got over it. [We laughed]… If you order anything.. he said make sure it’s not a jockstrap.”

- A’s friend [F] has boyfriend who hits her. He sets up guy to dance with her and gets mad when she does, hits her, apologizes, they make up. They tell F to dump him but she loves him and doesn’t. This type behavior repeats itself in the book between F and her boyfriend.

- “We kissed again.. [he] let his hand slide from my collarbone to my breast.. then he pulled away. My whole body went goose bumps.”

- Back in church class: “This time the subject was sexual readiness.. questions to ask ourselves before engaging in sexual intercourse.. Questions like, Do I really trust my partner.. What will I do to prevent pregnancy?.. [guy] read another question aloud. What makes me feel I want to have intercourse right now? Is this for real?.. Is there ever a time I don’t? After answering all these questions, I’d be too tired to have intercourse [girl said]. .. we laughed..

- “chat room [with friends]… AliceBug322: maybe nudists have it right. When a nudist proposes, he’s already inspected the merchandise, top to bottom.”

- Talking about one of older brothers old girlfriends: “ of his instructors [at college].. He almost cost her her job.”

- A and friends are going on multiple night trip to New York City. P’s cousin in NJ mails her a newspaper. “It’s the weekly paper of Greenwich Village. Anyone who’s cool, wild, and outrageous reads [it]. ..will tell us exactly where to go.. full-color photo double spread.. rows and rows of crouching women exposing their backsides.. TWO GIRL SPECIAL.. HOT TRANS SEX.. all with phone numbers.. wow! said E. we giggled.. A, this is you, said P.. LOCAL GIRLS GO WILD.. this is you! [A] said.. HOT NASTY GIRLS.. perfect one for E: OVER THE KNEE SPANKING AND MUCH MORE. We howled. to get serious.. got to find some clubs.. Here’s one.. Shadow-dancing barkeep performs nude in sultan’s tent.. Mark it! [A] said.. $3 dollar cover.. rubfest.. gawk at funky hipster chicks dancing on well-stocked bars. ..Well-oiled studs do karaoke in the raw!.. Yes! L and A said.. And this! A said.. sip your drink under the stern tutelage of whip-bearing waiters..”

- Back in church class: “..had our infamous “putting a condom on a banana” lesson… too funny to be embarrassing.. guys seemed more embarrassed than the girls, but we were all good sports doing it. [instructors].. answering.. questions like What happens if a condom comes off inside a woman? So what do you do? L asked on the bus the next morning.. can fish it out with your fingers if you have to. Or the man could do it for you. It’s not like your some endless cave.. what else.. Whether condoms make a noise if they pop.. spent part of the class.. blowing them up like balloons.. popping them.. I don’t understand your church said L. when I go to mass everything I touch is revered-a rosary, a prayer book.. I guess you could say we revere life.. so do you. Sex is part of life, so my church isn’t so different, really.”

- “…he’s gay.. I told [him] that but he says H’s gay till he gets me alone, and then I’ll find out how hetero he really is.”

- “B had a brochure about a raunchy strip show in NY.. guys were looking at it and laughing. P kept asking to see it.. B dangled it.. in front of her face, and we got a glimpse. P laughed and tried to grab [it]..”

- “[A’s boyfriend]..was running his hand up and down my back underneath my jacket.. inched its way above the waistband of my jeans and under my top.. almost reached my bra.. Then they stopped.. hard to concentrate on immigrants when a guy’s fingers are roaming around your back.”

- 3 older boys sneak A and her 3 friends out of the hotel when they are on the school NYC trip: “Party time!.. we’ll try a couple of places, see if we can get in.. to the subway.. P sat down on [one of the boys] lap rather than sit on a seat by herself. As the car shook she wiggled around with.. exaggerated movement. Lap dancing, she said and the guys laughed.” They go into a place because A has to go to the bathroom. “..what a relief! I said. You sound like a cloudburst, said L. ..heard someone come in.. man humming to himself.. was a unisex bathroom.. stepped out.. tall woman in a black low-cut dress.. She looked at us and smiled.. laughed at the way we were staring at her.. realized then that she was a he… [one of the guys said], That’s what that club is known for-transgendered performers.. probably one of the singers. I tried to be cool about it”

- They go into another club and the guys are able to get beers and cocktails. “..tried to remember what we’d seen on Sex and the City. A Cosmopolitan?.. the underwear party got going.. first customer stood up and slipped off his jeans.. paraded across [stage].. We all cheered.. 9 contestants in all.. 2 of them female.. weren’t exactly like strippers.. underwear was more the cotton collegiate type-but they were bikini style and the girls had nice bodies, so all the guys whistled and clapped… bartender.. told us [we had to leave] just as “Steve from NJ” was going across the stage. Darn! Said E.. just when it was getting good!”

- “She laughed about L and me finding a transvestite in the unisex bathroom. I wish you’d come, I told her again.”

- “[A] leaned back against [boyfriend].. his arms around my waist, fingers.. over my stomach.. face nuzzling my cheek, he’d work.. hand inside my jacket in front, up under my shirt, then slide a finger slowly around under the waistband of my underwear, caressing my skin. It was deliciously sexy, and was surprised to feel a wetness in my pants. Who would have thought that here on Ellis Island..?”

- “I’ll have to admit that part of the attraction of getting close to a guy is not knowing just how far the 2 of you will go. Not knowing if that finger.. will slip under your bra.. or whether, when you kiss and he presses up against you, you can feel him getting hard. of “What Next?” that keeps you excited.”

- “..was just hanging out with Hugh [H], P said.. Where? asked L.. [his] room.. His buddies were watching TV. She giggled I told you I was going to have fun on this trip.. I was making somebody reeeally happy, said P. OK? Not OK. Happy as in.. sex? Asked M? You could say that, P said.. You did.. IT? I said.. were in his bathroom, ok? So I gave [him] some head.. A blow job? E asked.. Yeah.. You get a 100. A blow job is head is oral sex. But.. why? I asked. You just met him.. Because he wanted it! It was fun! It was amazing to see how excited I could get him! Do you swallow it or what [L asked]. We giggled, but I sure didn’t know the answer. You can but I didn’t P told her.. can.. see myself doing that with a guy I really loved.. but you hardly know him [L said].. I know him enough to know I like him.. he’s hot!.. he’s a senior. Yeah, but what are you? Just a body part? A head? [A asked]. G [said] you’re not a service station.. I.. know what it’s like when a guy just wants quick service. My old ex was a master at it.. going to burn me at the stake or what asked P.. You can get VD in your mouth [said G].. Yeah, yeah, and I could get run over by a taxi or hit by a meteorite said P.. made a cute guy really happy tonite.. no big deal.. [A] didn’t know what to think. Was what P felt that much different from the feelings I had on Ellis Island with [S] running his fingers under the waistband of my pants? Up under the band of my bra? My wanting him to go a little further? Touch me in other places, too?”

- “..she was sad and scared.. last night she was a party animal. No, not even that. A body part. A head.”

- “..P was trying to squeeze in between [H and T]… H was.. playful-I think-pushing [her] away.. sort of pathetic. She finally gave up.. as she left he gave her a slap on the butt and that seemed to please her.”

- Trip to NYC done, back in school cafeteria: “..P brazenly plunked herself down on [H’s] lap and put her arms.. around his neck… Before when she’d done it, he’d slapped her thigh, slapped her bottom, run his hands up and down her sides.. [not] this time.. He leaned stiffly back.. Hey! Studly! Liven up! P said… Get off [H said].. P began same wiggle she’d done on the subway when she pretended she was lap dancing.. H pushed back and stood up.. P tumbled off.. H.. sat back down.. P.. face.. red..” All P’s friends are embarrassed for her – she is humiliated.

- A’s friend F, the one with the abusive boyfriend, is beaten bloody and 2 of her teeth are knocked out in the school parking lot. A and her other friends witness this. Police are called. Charges are pressed against the boyfriend. She goes to shrink to help see why she puts up with abuse.

- A breaks up with her boyfriend because he was so clingy and needy. “P had to discover she was more than a body part, F had to convince herself she wasn’t a doormat, and I had to accept the fact that I wasn’t a life preserver.”

- Friends ask why A dumped boyfriend: “..wanted to go to 3rd base and you wouldn’t let him.. if he’d tried, I would have let him, I joked. I liked all that. Maybe that was on of the reasons I’d broken it off.. liked that but hadn’t liked [boyfriend] enough to continue. It wasn’t honest. In a way, P had been more honest with H, because when she’d did what she’d done, she was nuts about him.”

- P: “God, I just feel so used. Same old story. What’s with guys, anyway? R.. B… H..”

- Discussing church class stuff with friends: “One of our topics was ‘healthy Lovemaking.. I’ll take hot, not healthy, P joked. What did you learn? That it’s consensual, safe, non-exploitive, and mutually pleasurable.. Next time, said P”

- Church class: “Can you remember any inaccurate info you got in the past? [instructor] asked. couldn’t get a girl pregnant if you had sex standing up… once a girl used a tampon, she wasn’t a virgin.. guy had to limit how often he had sex, because he only had so many orgasms in him before his sex life was over… Did you ever come across a sexual term you didn’t understand? [instructor asked].. Necrophilia.. Nymphomania.. Yemani wrigglings and Nubian lasciviousness.. write down what your own values are regarding your sexuality [instructor said].. are private, to be read only by you.” A writes that ideally it would be nice to have 1st intercourse when married but can’t promise herself that and she would see when she gets to college.

- Discussion on church class with friend: “..what did you talk about… Sexual myths and facts. Masturbation in particular… what did they say.. it’s healthy and doesn’t make you crazy.. what else.. you can still get pregnant if you have sex standing up..”

- P talking about her mom: “How do you take back what you’ve done? She acted like a slut, running off like that with some guy.. I wondered if P recognized the.. similarity [of what P and her mom had done].. [A] decided not to [tell P]”

- Last church class: “The wrestler confided he still wasn’t sure of his sexual orientation – that maybe he’d taken the course a second time to help him figure out whether or not he was gay.. we all let him know that either way it made no difference to us.. [A] ask[s] if a man can tell a woman’s a virgin when they have intercourse. [instructor] said sometimes it’s obvious because the man will have a hard time penetrating and the woman bleeds. But in other women the hymen doesn’t cover much of the opening or it stretches, so there’s almost no difference between her and a nonvirgin. Then.. told us.. in some cultures bride-to-be is so worried her husband will find out she’s had sex before that she pays.. to have a sheep’s membrane surgically stitched over her vaginal opening. We all groaned in disbelief.. knew I was glad that I live in the [USA}, have the family I do, and go to the church that I do, even though I don’t go very often.”

- In Fairfax County Public School Elementary and Middle Library System


"Alice on the outside"

Naylor, Phyllis Reynolds
Atheneum Books for Young Readers
169 pages, large font
Copyright 1999

- 11th book in the series of “Alice” books. She [A] is now a 13-year old and in 8th grade. Book is mainly focused on sex and boys but has 2 other significant subplots. One is about a lesbian friend and homosexual advocacy/acceptance in general. The other is about a “Consciousness-Raising Week” training session in school. The whole school is divided into different groups with different privileges, to “learn” about prejudice and “fear of difference.” The book has a very artificial feel, as if it is really sex instruction and formal consciousness training lessons, weakly tied together and disguised or packaged as children’s fiction.

- page 4: “When you only go out with one guy, everyone assumes you’re having sex.”

- “..wanted to ask her what it’s.. like to have sex with a man. ..Niagara Falls, where.. couples.. honeymoon, is brides ‘second’ biggest disappointment,’ meaning.. intercourse is first. ..what does it feel like?”

- “Did I fondle her… did you feel lust?.. did it excite you.. did it turn me on, sure, a little.. did I want to throw her on her back and make mad love? No. ..grown-ups worry.. that sex-ed classes will excite us so much, we’ll all.. head for the bushes.. if I did everything my impulses told me.. I’d go make love to the cashier..”

- “..grown woman with huge breasts.. lets her breasts fall into the bra cups before she hooks it. ..the way you get your nipples where they’re supposed to be.. What is sexual intercourse really like for a woman?”

- “ the average woman has sexual intercourse 3,948 times.. C, [A’s adult cousin] what does intercourse really, really feel like.. The first time.. yes. That too. do know how it’s done.. I know what goes where,.. But how does it feel when a man’s penis goes inside you? ..some woman it hurts a little the first time. maybe the first couple of times. ..feels pretty good… exciting to feel yourself opening up for a man.. [do] you spend your whole honeymoon in pain? ..[no].. so many girls use tampons now they’ve already stretched themselves a little down there.. what’s sex like later? ..Forget movies.. looks so easy in the movies.. climb in bed and make wild love and both come at the same time-- What does that mean? An orgasm. A climax. ..If you’ve ever masturbated, you already know what it feels like. ..movies.. intercourse,.. climax at the same time. In real life, some men and women like to make love different ways.. tell her partner what she really likes. Girls want guys to think they’re sexy, so they sigh and moan.. Then.. guy thinks he’s a real stud, so he goes right on doing what feels good to him, and it may never do much for the girl. Wait for someone you really love.. love enough to marry.. If I don’t like intercourse so much, what are the other ways? ..anything you can imagine. ..may want your husband to touch you with his hands.. lips.. try different things.. ask him what he’d like you to do to him. love, giving each other pleasure. ..always imagined that the woman just lay down on her back.. wear sexy nightgown. ..never imagined she had to talk! ..give directions..”

- A tells her friends what her adult cousin told her: “..same kind of climax you feel if you touch yourself.. Some.. like intercourse best, and some.. like other things, and it doesn’t matter what. You mean you can try a whole bunch of stuff to see what you like the most?.. main thing.. woman.. has to give man directions-tell him where to touch her.. if a man really loves you, he’ll make love any way you want. ..if sex isn’t like it is in the movies, why do women keep on getting married and having intercourse? ..must be something they like about it,.. get naked together and have sex.. more we thought about it.. better it seemed.. saw a man and woman starting to make love [on TV]. ..had gorgeous breasts.. man was groaning, the woman moaning.. Get serious [A said].. Get real, [her friend said].”

- Conversation with older brother: “Why would I get involved with a married woman? ..You told her you loved her, L! ..I did! you told C the same thing before she married. I did! I loved her too! there were even more girls you said you loved. A couple… Can I help it if I love woman? Can you help it if you love chocolate?”

- “Bullshit!”

- “ picture of.. guy.. giving finger to one of the new Whites down below.”

- “What if they.. rape her?.. what if she does gets raped.. and doesn’t tell.. What if she gets pregnant.. [has] little boy.. he might grow up to be rapist like his father.. We thought you were raped.. You’ve never skipped school before.. you’ve never hung around the Bikers.. Nothing happened that wasn’t by mutual consent. ..Are you still a virgin? ..Do I have to tell you every time a guy touches me? ..touched you? Where? ..One of the guys slipped his hand under my sweater, that’s all. ..touched my breasts. a 3-second feel through my bra.. remembering .. P.. giving me a drum lesson. ..sat close behind me.. didn’t touch my breasts-he almost did.. I sort of wanted him to ..that’s what sex is all about, isn’t it? ..supposed to want to caress.. supposed to feel good.. natural.. normal. ..when are you supposed to stop saying no and start saying yes?.. after your married, P. At least after your engaged. ..Tell that to my mom, P said.. She’s married, only she’s doing it with someone else. ..You know that time.. that man [on the train].. kissed you and touched your breasts, P?.. I think that started all this. ..set up cravings you.. can’t control. ..let a boy get to 1st base, he’ll try.. 2nd.. steal 3rd, and.. not playing baseball, I’m making out! ..It feels good! ..boys make out because it feels good, and girls just do it to please the boys.”

- “Grope. It’s when a boy touches.. you [where] your bathing suit is supposed to cover.. that’s what Sister M [nun] told us.. I like that! said P. ..means he could [touch].. along your inner thigh.. faked a shiver. about.. thong bathing suits, where both cheeks are open to the public? A [said].”

- “..last time somebody ‘needed’ me,.. was E who’d never seen a naked man [A’s brother said]. ..[A] grinned, remembering how I tried to get [my brother] to buy a magazine.. of hunks. ..[P’s] mom’s off with the Nordictrack instructor….”

- “..we passed Victoria’s Secret.. black bikini panties.. garter belt.. heels, and on top, nothing..”

- “[that dress would] be great for Halloween.. if you wanted to look like a hooker.”

- A goes over to L’s house to spend night. L holds her hand and tells A that she likes her and likes girls better than boys. A tells L she doesn’t. L apologizes for coming on too strong. A says she is going with a boy. L says, “..doesn’t necessarily mean anything. I’ve heard of girls who went with boys first before they realized they were gay.” L says she is a lesbian and never had a girlfriend before, but would like to. A thinks about what her mother and an “ideal mother” would say if she told her that she was a lesbian. L tells A that.. she loves girls the way a guy would love them and gives A a bracelet. When they go to bed A wonders if L will try to kiss her or she might wake up and find L in bed with her. “But it never happened. ..wonder why people seem so afraid that someone who’s gay or lesbian might make a pass at them. All you have to say is no, just like you’d tell a guy..”

- A wakes up in the morning: “No matter how hard I tried [girls] just didn’t turn me on.. I had to keep hiding my feelings about [boy she likes].. What if.. everyone expected me to fall in love with a girl.. and I.. didn’t want to.. began to worry.. L’s giving me a bracelet meant she was about to do something desperate, the way [another girl] had given me presents before she stepped in front of a train.”

- A says to her dad: “..wondering what you would say if I told you I was lesbian. [dad says] be disappointed.. wouldn’t know happiness of.. husband and children, sad.. you were part of minority, because I know-and you know, from CRW (Consciousness-Raising Week)- that minorities are usually never treated well as everyone else; but I’d be happy if you found someone.. [to] love. [Why?] I just spent the night with a lesbian [A says].. I saw dad swallow. Gotcha! I said.. L said she liked me, and she gave me a bracelet, but I told her I don’t feel the same way.. so we’re just friends. Good for you, A,… glad your still friends [dad says]. approached a friend.. in men’s room.. friend decked him [her brother says].. Why [not].. just.. no thanks [A says].. To show he wasn’t gay. ..guy who has to answer a proposal [like that] is protesting a little too much. ..wishing that when L.. tells[s[ her family, they’d be as kind as dad and [brother] were to me.”

- “Maybe [my brother] was gay! ..real reason he gave up 2.. girls.. always seemed crazy for girls, but what if.. put-on? ..that story you told about the guy who made a pass.. in the men’s room,,, was that you? got a movie about men kissing.”

- Her brother’s former girlfriend, now married tells him, “I dream about you. THOSE kind of dreams. ..keep comparing [my husband] to you… I love [your brother] A. ..can’t help myself.. “ A implies her brother is gay to get her to stop loving her brother.

- “..couldn’t imagine instructing [boyfriend] how to make love to me if we were married.”

- “Tell me how you like to be kissed [her boyfriend, P, says]. ..already a boy wanted to know how to make love to me! ..gentle or hard.. all kinds of ways. What do you like best? ..half lying on the swing and he was bending over me, kissing me hard on the mouth.” Her dad catches her, turns on the porch light and A gets mad at him. He tells her it starts as a kiss “then one thing leads to another” and he remembers what it was like and that is why he turned on the light. He says P was on top of her and A says he wasn’t, was just bending over. Her brother says that is how “it all begins” and when he was that age everything he saw “reminded me of sex - tomatoes, knotholes, pillows, peaches, you name it.” A is very mad and thinks kissing doesn’t mean “we were going to have sexual intercourse.” She overhears her brother telling something to her dad about “Once she is sexually active.. Sexually active? sexually active? ..haven’t even learned fine points of kissing… “ She tells dad and brother she is about as “sexually active as a bag of spinach and.. to keep me on the porch and not out in the park somewhere behind the bushes.. keep the stupid light off when I come home with a boy.” Her dad apologizes and says he will keep it off.

- “ day Aunt S caught me.. trying to wash my sheets. ..why was that embarrassing [A asks her brother]? ..You know about nocturnal emissions, don’t you [he says]? ..puberty.. sexy dream.. ejaculates in.. sleep.. sheets wet.. [Aunt].. embarrassed as I was. day dad had.. talk with me about wet dreams.. When a guy ejaculates, how much semen comes out? A cup [A asks brother]? ..cup? Ye gods, no. ..tablespoon or 2, maybe. He grinned at me. ..never measured. We laughed. ..Are you sexually active [she asks brother]? ..lets just say I get around. ..define ‘sexual.’ Intercourse is sexual, but so is kissing and hugging.. and sweet-talking.. licking and touching.. dozen other things.. don’t have to have intercourse to be sexual.”

- “ news for [nun] said P. You can still get in a lot of trouble [keeping both feet on the floor]. keep both feet on the floor and your knees together! Now that’s a challenge.”

- “..scrawled [in restroom].. L and Lesbo.. after 5th period.. 5 or 6 girls had backed l and L into one of the bathroom stalls.. Go on! Do it!.. Go ahead, kiss her!.. girls laughed.. They were holding hands at mall. ..saw them.. coming out party.. Kiss her!.. chant.. Kiss her, kiss her, kiss her… Stop it! [A yells].. stormed into group.. thought the kids were so tolerant.. prejudice.. Didn’t Consciousness-Raising Week mean anything.. to you? ..we’re not racists!.. But we know lesbos when we see them. She must be one too! laughed [girl about A]..” Teacher intervenes and breaks things up “Are they [lesbians? P] asked [A]. Who knows? What difference does it make? ..A lot!. ..Kinky sex. Do you know what lesbians do [A}?.. Do you know what your mother and her NordicTrack boyfriend do [P]? Does anyone ask them?.. If L and I are lesbians, they can’t help it. Maybe not but they don’t have to go around flaunting it. Flaunting it? [boys and girls kiss, etc].. nobody says a word.. L and l hold hands and look what happens!.. You did the right thing, A, even if homosexuality is a sin, said E. ..Not everyone believes [that A] told [E]. What I mean is, being homosexual isn’t a sin, because people can’t help the way they are, but making homosexual love is [says E]. Isn’t that.. like telling someone it isn’t a sin to be hungry, but it is if you eat? [A] snapped.’ A tells E and P that L gave her a bracelet when she spent the night at her house. They think everyone will think that she is a lesbian.

- At school dance: “..watching the woman my dad loves dance with another man who used to be, or still was, perhaps her boyfriend.”

- In Fairfax County Public School Elementary and Middle Library System

- For Additional excerpts see

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Bragg, Rick

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McCarthy, Cormac

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"Alt Ed"

Atkins, Catherine

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"Always Outnumbered Always Outgunned"

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"Always Running La Vida Loca: Gang Days In L.A."

Rodriguez, Luis T.
TOUCHSTONE; Simon & Schuster
251 pages
Copyright 1993

- Story about gang life. While some have claimed it might stop children from entering the gang life, in many ways this book actually glorifies gang life and would attract them to it - especially the most vulnerable and lost.

- “..sperm weeds.. stunk like semen when you cut them..”

- “..took delight in seeing me writhe in pain.. hunger for cruelty..”

- Brother pushes him off house roof. Brother puts rope around his neck and pulls him around yard. “..choked the life out of me. I had rope burns around my neck for a week.” Neighbor boy ropes his feet and hangs him upside down.

- “Mama.. cuts [her] engorged veins with a razor and drains them into a .. pail. ..dreams of blood, me drowning in a red sea, blood on sheets, on the walls..”

- “Spics to order - maybe with some beans? ..pushed me to the ground.. melted gum and chips of broken beer bottle on my lips and cheek. ..punched [brother] in face.. stomach.. face again, cutting his lip, causing him to vomit. ..laugh I would hear in countless beatings thereafter.”

- “I didn’t even tell anybody when I had to go to the bathroom. I did it in my pants. ..stunk there in the corner… kids [in class] screamed.. P.U.”

- “..[woman] had been babysitting 3 small children… parents never came back.. ran out of food.. trash collectors find 3 children in a playpen next to the.. garbage.” People burn down her house after the woman is taken away.

- “..boys.. began getting uncontrollable hard-ons. ..girls flowered.. [gang] fired heir.. .22s at the school.. broke windows with stones.. rammed through gate and front entrances.. [beat] dudes who stood in their way.. teachers ran.. Terror filled everyone’s eyes. ..I wanted what [gang] had.. power to hurt somebody.”

- “..first love at 12 years.. didn’t just know how to kiss, but how to take my hand through sections of her body and teach a pre-teen.. junior high: [girls] who walked up.. stairs.. in tight skirts, revealing everything.. looked down on us, smiling at their power. Bloody Kotexes on the hallway floor. Gang graffiti.. Fires [in].. restroom trash.. Fights every day.. Dudes who sold and took drugs, mostly downers and yesca,.. sometimes heroin.. shot up in the boys’ room while their ‘homeys’ kept.. lookout.”

- “..teacher 80 years old.. we threw her.. encyclopedias.. out the window. Then.. the desks and chairs.”

- Shop class teacher slices off his finger with saw. “God damn it!.. God damn it!.. ambulance came.. [we] sneaked [back].. found [his] finger.. purplish with dried blood and bone chips on one end.. we kept it in [a] locker.. bring it out to scare girls and to show it off.. until it shriveled away, like a dried sliver of old fruit.”

- “Mama hated the cholos.. fought.. drank mescal, smoked marijuana, and left scores of woman with babies bursting out of their bodies.. seen so much alcoholism.. weed madness.. in drunken rages [her father].. hit her mom and drag her through he house by the hair.’s solution was to [ground me].. after school. ..13 years old already.. tattooed.. sexually involved.. into drugs.. In the middle of the night I snuck out.”

- “..he ain’t shit.”

- “..Tribe party.. pitch black.. reeked of cigarette and marijuana.. drinking from bottles of cheap wine… figure out which [gang] to claim or.. get fucked by both… containers of pills.. reds or downers.. whites or uppers… girl’s muffled voice… figure.. going up and down [on top of her].. moaning with every motion. ..She’s being initiated into the Tribe. Then he laughed.”

- “..passing a bottle of.. wine.. They just stole an ice cream truck.. They sure is crazy.. drink until the day melted into night.”

- “.. could see car speeding [off].. C’s face was shot full of pellets, countless black, steaming round holes, his eye dripping into the dirt.”

- “..I had ruptured myself.. sac that held my bottom intestine had.. rip and threatened to spill its contents and my life.. While they were [operating], they decided I should get circumcised. ..could survive without [circumcision].. but wasn’t doing a good job of cleaning myself and had developed some sores. So the call was ‘off with the foreskin.’ ..pain in my newly rearranged member.. circumcision had gone wrong.. gave me.. shot to my penis.. undo the stitches, then cut and pull.. Blood sprayed.. I’d never be a man now!”

- “..bridges.. beneath which teenagers drank, got loaded, fought and often made love. ..people in various stages of undress splashing around in the dark. ..sometimes, a body would be found wedged in stones.. or floating face down”

- “we scored on cases of beer and some grifa. A few colies… drank and toked.. blouse clung to her.. hard nipples through soaked nipple.. some mescaline.. bumping his head on rocks and shit. C and S took some hits too. ..B maneuvered [her] over to a cave.. knew what he was doing, copping feels and such. ..reefer, mescaline.. brownness of her nipples.. ‘bitchin’ wave.. Fuck you, beaners! Mexicans suck!.. get some of this, as he squeezed his crotch.. Come on greasers.. fuck you.. white dudes pulled out guns.. one of them flashed a badge.. Police.. acted cool, but I knew the mescaline had a lot to do with it.. Don’t fuckin’ move.. fuckin’ greaser asshole.. cop found.. mescaline and some joints.. felonies.. cops were ecstatic.. cops poked blackjacks into [B’s] ribs.”

- Stealing and armed robberies: “, jewelry, guns.. TV’s cameras and stereos.. started to hijack trucks.. sell the electronic[s] in parking lots and drive-ins. ..pull gun out on driver, take his money.. convenience stores we called ‘shop and robs’.. Placing gun to a mean’s head took some doing at first.. get used to it.. Or you’ll find yourself at the other end of a gun and be dead..”

- “..shit.. What the fuck is going on.. we ransacked the stand. ..I thrust out the gun and yelled, Freeze, motherfucker! ..Fuck you!.. open the safe. ..Gunfire.. Get the fuck out of here!.. I aimed at him.. he fired again.. Fuck it --I ran.”

- “.arose from a bed of old blankets on the floor, bumped toe.. almost stepped in a pail of piss.”

- “I tried to commit suicide. ..stupor from pills, liquor and sniffing aerosol can spray.. grabbed pail I used to pee in, and filled it with water… planned to thrust my arm into water after I cut an artery… couldn’t do it.”

- “..I was 14 already. ..stronger. ..been in many fights. ..Fuck you!.. fuck you!.. He was getting the better of me, but I wouldn’t let up - flailing away at his head and body.. bodies slammed into the wall.. dull thuds of fists on a face..”

- “..jam in my room, whiskey bottles at our sides.. last I heard he only plays when the heroin in his body gives him a booking.”

- “..shared a bottle of T-bird [wine]. ..paddy motherfucker.. forced them to fork over some bills.”

- “.[police] struck C with a baton.. put a choke hold on.. struck his legs.. face turned blue.. pressure on his neck.. knocked [him] to ground.. slobbering from mouth, his pupils turned up.. bottle struck.. police cars.. another.. another.. More cops came.. police pulled out.. ambulance took C.. receiving a barrage of rocks, bottles and debris.. [riot start, car with local resident rocked, Mexicans start assaulting the whites].. I.. punched him repeatedly in the face.. watching my fists beat his face, making deep cuts and welts.. [more police come].. Get the fuck out of here.. Fuck you beaner.. shit.. you fuckin’ spic.. get some of this!.. barrel of the gun.. finger encircling the trigger.. make sure you kill me or I’ll come after you.. next [day] at school the fights continued. Mexicans roamed the hallways, beating on any white guy.. Girls got into it too, ripping the blouses of the prim and proper “society” girls… white guy swung his bat to strike S, C came from behind and hit him over the head with a tire iron.. police came. As usual went after the Mexicans. ..I hated school. And I loved fighting.”

- “I worked as a bus boy.. when I was 15.. kept me up till 2 a.m. ..businessmen called everyone “pancho”.. had our ways of getting back.. putting snot and piss in their food.. “accidentally” spilling ice cold water [on them].. One waiter, a gay dude.. actually protected us.. thought.. he wanted to get to me, but.. he never raised this issue. One time he let us borrow his X-rated.. films.. marathon viewing of his films while dropping pills and chasing them with tequila.. waitresses had to endure even more abuse since they were women..”

- Almost kills himself on alcohol, pills and sniffing: “Not going to school.. Sniffing became my favorite way to waste [time].. stole.. anything that could give me a buzz.. carbono, clear plastic, paint or gasoline.. mix.. concoction and pour it on a rag or in paper bag we sniffed from.. [everywhere] I sniffed. Once I even.. removed the lid off the gas tank [of a back hoe].. had already dropped some pills and downed a 5th of Wild Turkey.. placed bag over my mouth and nose, sealed it tightly with both hands and breathed deeply transported away.. felt soothing.. didn’t want it to end.. grabbed the spray and the bag and resumed the ritual.. everything faded away.. I became a cartoon.. drifting towards.. lights.. family called me over.. had to get to the light.. peace.. untroubled.. the end of fear.. would be safe there.. everything around me exploded. An intense blackness.. stillness.. nothing.. Hands pulled at me.. Give me the bag.. No way.. You died.. you stopped breathing and died.. grief overwhelmed me.. I wished I did die.. You don’t understand I yelled.. I have to go back. I crept toward the paper bag but B kicked it out of my reach.”

- “..P liked me.. was OK, I guess, a real loca.. short tight skirts.. I ended up going with her.. When W and I sniffed… sometimes [she] joined us. ..[she] was always high.. I started tripping.. Snakes.. melted faces.. She.. pulled off her blouse. Erect nipples confronted me on firm breasts. I kissed them. She laughed and pulled me away.. I was too fucked up to care. park she said she wanted to take her pants and underwear off.. in front of everyone? Yeah, why not?.. She did. Sniffing took the best out of her.. tunnel.. alone, with a bag of glue.. [she] fought all the time at school. Whenever she lost, her older brothers would slice her tongue with a razor.. was fun but.. couldn’t be intimate unless she was on reds, spray or snort.. I loved the spray and shit but [she] became too much like the walking dead.” [broke with her]

- Almost commits suicide: “A razor.. in my hand. A pail of water sat next to me. ..blade touched the skin.. put the blade down, peed in the water and fell asleep.”

- “17-year old J.. girlfriend had just given birth.. succumbed to a shotgun blast in his living room as his younger brother watched… JL already in prison for.. heroin..”

- “ in the Hills.. Weed, pills, hard liquor… dudes shot up heroin.. older.. duded.. just.. out of the joint.. N.. had been shot 5 times and stabbed 40 times.. P1 once used a machine gun.. P2 had been convicted of murder at 16” [he gets initiated into gang by beating] “..fist at my face. I went down fast.. onslaught of steel-tipped shoes and heels rained on my body.. initiates pile into a pickup.. Fuck Sangra..” [randomly select some guys and destroy their car and beat and stab them] “..came across ’52 DeSoto.. 4 dudes inside drinking.. weren’t Sangra. They looked like hard-working.. lowriders out for spin. R.. punched the dude down… hit another guy.. bashed in the car, breaking windows and punching in metal with tire irons and 2-by-4’s.. struck him on the head [with wine bottle].. wouldn’t [break]..threw a brick at [driver’s] head.. [handed me] rusty screwdriver.. Do it, man.. I.. walked up to the beaten driver.. whose head was bleeding.. I plunged the screwdriver into flesh and bone..”

- “..Shit, I thought, they want to firebomb a house. ..looked similar to my mother’s back yard. ..poured gasoline into bottles and stuffed rags at the top.. toss them at the back porch.. news account reported.. Everyone got out safely, but.. house [was destroyed].”

- “Rapes became.. common.. began as isolated incidents, then a way of life. ..One dude was aid to have raped 17 girls one summer. E.. pulled up in a.. Chevy.. opened back door and invited us to “get in on this.” A naked girl, passed out, lay in the back seat. A black patch of pubic hair stood out on a shock of white skin.. [he declines]”

- “We jumped into E’s.. van. P and 2 girls inside.. I took swigs of.. wine and snorts of heroin.. girls were loaded.. P groped through the blouse of one.. who.. tried to pull him off. ..P on top of the girl he had been manhandling. Her legs spread.. torn underwear twisted around an ankle. P’s pants below his knees.. could see his buttocks rise up and down as he thrust into her, her weak moans more from the weight of his body than anything else. ..YY and F pulled the other girl out.. to the field.. E passed me the bottle as he wandered down.. I could hear P coming, scratchy noises rising from his throat. The girl.. between 12 and 14.. had her arms laid out over her head.. eyes closed.. mouth opened -unconscious, but as if in a silent scream. ..saw YY kissing the other girl.. while F opened her legs with his hand to get a better feel. E.. motioned me to come over. I didn’t want any part of it. ..I puked around my shoes. YY.. had thrown the girl to the ground. I knew what they were going to do… saw P pulling his pants up [in the] van..”

- “..found out P [his former girlfriend] ended up pregnant and in a prison of matrimony.. dudes.. would shoot and run over [her brother] several times; his body discovered wedged between metal trash bins in.. alley.. was 15 years old. P didn’t cry.”

- “We tried to enter death and emerge from it. ..sought it in heroin, which bears the peace of death in life. We craved it. ..Come kill me! was the inner cry. caressed our cheeks.. like an extra finger in the back of our heads.. Death in a bottle. In spray. In.. woman, stripped of soul.. I stopped spray soon after my near-death.. needed something else.. dudes.. used to go off.. and shoot up smack. At 13 they shooed me away.. fooled with.. pills.. mescaline and meth.. Silver Satin and muscatel.. tequila and vodka.. snorted heroin and PCP.. By the time I turned 15 smack was everywhere.. epidemic.. first time I tried it.. we skin-popped.. L, who had marks up and down his arms, only gave us a taste until we could score with more money.. Y turned us into a stealing organization, this became the basis for scoring heroin.”

- “..hitchhiking throughout East L.A… pretending to be [new] students for a day. ..met more girls this way. We also got in fights with the local vatos.. soon.. girls to visit in Pomona, Pasadena, Norwalk, in Boyle Heights, and El Monte. ..cruising the boulevard.. crowded with girls. We offered them pills or booze and then slid around an alley… drank.. staggered about and had a taste of some by pushing a finger around the crotch of their panties and into their vagina, then continued on our way. ..having our own party with the pills and booze..”

- “..touch me there.. just like that..ummm. ..Sweat roamed down the sides of my face. windows steamed. ..R lay on the back seat.. blouse open and ample breasts wet with my saliva. Don’t stop..ummmmm, don’t stop. My tongue drew circles around her nipples… rubbed her cunt from the outside of her pants. Her hip.. pushing harder and harder into my hand. She groped for my zipper.. slid it down. Her fingers kneaded the top of my penis, hard and wet.. oh baby, lick me. back arched.. my head scraped the top of the car.. she held onto my penis with both hands while her lips smothered it and her tongue lightly flickered over the tip. ..pushing [her pants].. off.. saw the tuft of wild hair at her crotch, her legs spread.. inviting me to enter. ..pressed me down to her. the penis sank into the bristle of pubris, then slid into the oiled vagina, covering it in flesh and juice and the rhythm of the pelvis. [her] mouth sucked at my chest, my neck and shoulders as her fingernails scraped into my back. ..I moved and quivered inside her. Night after night I stayed over at ]her] place. ..made love in the car, beneath the staircase, or fondled in the driveway.”

- “Sometimes.. Frankie’s wino husband, would show up and fights would start.. poor bastard thrown out on his ass.”

- “..were a few nights I went to see R and she wasn’t there. ..where does she go?.. You don’t want to know, she said. ..happened that R turned tricks she could pay for staying with F, and sometimes pay for her sisters habit. F had marks on her arms.. careful not to get popped because she didn’t want the children taken away. ..thought of R selling herself to other guys.. choked on me. ..R worked the Boulevard.. only a teenager.. wondered if S also sold her sex and if C knew. ..her too.. not only does C know, but he’s out there pimping for her. Are you fucking with me! I yelled. How come he never told me?.. We told him not to tell you [F said]. I started to feel tears.. She kissed me again. Told me how much she liked me.. led me into her bedroom and closed the door.”

- “ had no electricity or gas.. Candles.. around.. table. Hypodermic needles, spoons,.. bags of powder.. 5 people.. 2 women.. dark circles beneath their eyes.. collapsed veins.. inside their arms. ..I fell in love with a prostitute.. tightened a belt around my biceps.. watched the needle enter a bulging vein.. watched the liquid get pushed into the bloodstream. ..sensation began.. glow.. spread throughout my body.. nothing like it, this rush.. new fraternity which crossed barrio and sex lines, this fellowship of la carga, so integral to “la vida loca””

- “During [school] lunch hour, we “worked” the neighborhood: breaking into the nearby fancy houses. E eventually got popped stealing a car.. ended up in youth camp.”

- “..who give a fuck..”

- “..could-give-a-fuck street dudes..”

- “..shit..”

- “..YY and D had chg-a-lugged several pints of tequila..”

- “Your on something.. seen it many times.. rest of us have needed to get high. Came across some good shit.. bit of la carga”

- At Vietnam war protest: “They had reds and we dropped a few. ..scored on some brew.. C and 8ball stole a case.. owner close[d] up shop.. crowd gathered.. shotgun pressed against my skull. Move or I’ll blow your fuckin’ head off, a sheriff’s deputy ordered.”

- “..hate this shit..”

- “..we kissed and kissed.. my hands groped her supple body.. her tongue.. inside.. my ear.. I.. pushed her down.. she followed willingly, eagerly.. moans and sighs.. My hand moved to the top of her pants.. pushed my hand through.. to the stem of her pleasure.. the silkiness of her vagina.. she squirmed and tightened and squeezed.. [she] exploded in a rush of orgasms..”

- “..feeling like shit..”

- “..kissed her.. felt her moan and squirm.. Where was [she]?.. in a darkened corner, making out with some other guy.. I wanted to kill someone.”

- “F.. killed himself last night.. 14-year old.. swinging from a pole in the closet.”

- “What the fuck you want?.. call us fuckin’ greasers.. Fuck ‘em.. get them white boys.. dude stepped onto the porch, cradling a shotgun; he fired and P.. some of the pellets in his face.. Dudes began to run.. don’t fuckin’ run.. Lomas never runs.. need a rifle.. .22 semi.. 2nd mistake was taking C from the Dukes.. my sister’s ex, a 13 year old.. massive biker stood in the yard.. I shot him - right in the ass..”

- “Lomas ain’t shit… Fuck you… they say she fucked around with some dude on her porch while her brothers were inside watching. ..whatever happened to her?.. knocked up --she’s living with.. C”

- “..bikers.. had no business fucking with us.”

- “I’m sick of this shit..”

- “..C’s body, wrapped in bloody blankets. ..she had been pumped full of pills and brutally raped.”

- “..she removed her bra from beneath her.. blouse. Her nipples made impressions.. my hand traveled through her skirt toward her crotch. I felt something. She.. pulled her legs through the underwear, which had a sanitary napkin stuck on the inside. ..a tinge of blood. ..not a good idea.. I said. Why?.. only blood - my blood - nothing wrong with it! ..I just never went all the way with a girl on her period before. ..She grabbed my hand and slipped my fingers through her vaginal lips. Then she showed me the soft red liquid which.. smeared the fingers. See, it’s nothing terrible!”

- “She told her father she’s having a baby.. He got so mad, he broke all her fingers.”

- “..deputy tackled MO in the living room… pulled his gun and fired at MO’s head, clipping his ear. ..mother screamed.. MI then jumped on the officer.. officer fired another shot.. striking MI.. mother fainted.. [MI] fell back onto sofa, blood oozing through fingers stretched across the abdomen.. deputies arrested everyone.. somebody pushed through the crowd.. MI is dead!… MI is dead.. just got a call.. Deputy.. now faced a murder charge. ..gunfire riddled the side of the [police car]. ..for weeks.. deputies blocked entrances and exits to the barrio.. sheriff’s helicopter crisscrossed the neighborhood.. powerful projectile struck the side of the helicopter.. group called the Chicano Liberation Front planted bombs in power stations and government buildings..”

- “.. unmarked car.. slowed.. 2 bullets burst out.. bodies of S and I lay across the lawn, killed instantly..”

- “..somebody passed me a bottle of.. wine.. Outside.. R walked 8ball around, who had overdosed on smack, so he wouldn’t pass out. ..before me lay the largest collection of weapons I had ever seen: shotguns, in different gauges; handguns from .22’s to 9mm’s; semi-automatic rifles with scopes, 30-30 and.. automatics - 16’s and all sorts of subs.. boxes.. with.. grenades.. most of it stolen from military armories.”

- “..fuckin’ walls.. history teacher.. called me a chola whore.. calling CC a chola whore..”

- “..short skirt out of which emerged some killer legs.. she wanted me.. was already seeing 2 girls who lived.. behind my brother[s].. house.. were runaways.. [R] took off her blouse. She had nothing underneath. ..I want to make love to you.. One day.. T said she was pregnant - and claimed it was my child! I was stunned. should have an abortion.. got dead drunk.. T’s gone.. left last night.. may not be pregnant.. don’t know if she’s just playing games.. Shit, we have to find her.. never did find where T went. I never knew for sure if she had a child, and if so, if it was mine.”

- “..pulled out the gun and began shooting. Other dudes with him opened fire as well.. fell, got up and then fell again; he died there on the sidewalk…. somebody thrust a shotgun through a bedroom window and opened fire, striking T’s 13-year old brother in the head. Pellet holes and blood scattered on the far wall.”

- “..deputy punched the women in the face.. get off her! I yelled. ..Get the fuck out of here.. shouted an officer.. Her face smashed against the asphalt, bleeding.. deputies pounced on me.. blows of a blackjack.. threw me inside squad car.. hit me in stomach.. face.. I didn’t say anything. Not even fuck you.. fist smashed my eye.. blackjack into a rib. ..This time I faced hard-time prison for assaulting a police officer.”

- “..god-damn bitches treat you like shit.. All day they fuck with me!.. I’m suicidal. I tried to cut my wrists..”

- “Your only hope is to plea bargain. ..can’t. ..principle.. Fuck principle..”

- “Somebody passed around a Super Kool, a cigarette laced with “angel dust.” ..Fuck it..”

- “..handgun.. T pulled the trigger.. I fell.. crawled behind.. wall. They would come back.. if they knew I was alive..”

- “..jury found.. deputy responsible for MI’s death, innocent of all charges..”

- “The scourge of PCP - “angel dust” - had begun to grip.. [the] barrio. ..blabbering idiots.. torn mattresses where runaways hid to snort, shoot up or smoke “angel dust””

- “..police attacked students.. smearing the face of a pregnant girl into the ground..”

- “..P was found with a bullet hole through his head. ..murder was never solved.”

- Author at end of book claims Black Panthers and numerous other organizations “for justice and liberation” are targeted by the federal government and are subjected to a government “reign of terror.” He claims if there “was a viable alternative” the gang bangers would stop. That they don’t have the “choice” of a “productive, livable-wage job” and reason for gangs is economic and if “decent work is unavailable, people will do the next best thing - such as sell sex or dope.” Author espouses social Marxist politics and Cops = evil, bad, brutal. Federal Government = terrorism intent on derailing community “unity.” Regarding family values author says, But “family” is a farce among the propertyless and disenfranchised.” and that “Family can only really exist among those who can afford one.”

- In Fairfax County Public Middle School Library System


"Angus, Thongs and Full-Frontal Snogging"

Rennison, Louise

See for excerpts


"Animal Dreams"

Kingsolver, Barbara

See for excerpts

- The author said (shortly after 9/11) "The American flag stands for intimidation, censorship, violence, bigotry, sexism, homophobia and shoving the Constitution through a paper shredder."


"Annie On My Mind"

Garden, Nancy

See for excerpts


"Are You in the House Alone?"

Peck, Richard
Puffin Books - Penguin Putman Books for Young Readers
156 pages
Copyright 1976

- Book is about a high school girl who is being stalked with notes, phone calls, etc. and is finally raped by her stalker, who is a classmate and her best friend’s boyfriend. While this book is not as explicit as some, it is often found used at younger grades/ages.

- On page 1 we find out the girl is having sex with her boyfriend: “..S and I would slip out to the.. cottage... How often? 10 times? 12? I don’t remember.. All our fantasies.. seemed to come true.. thought that making love was being in love.. Someone was watching us, maybe every time. ..we’d leave our clothes in a heap..”

- “The heads were at the top, running the Student Council.. smoking joints on the weekend..”

- “You’re still... Taking them. The pill..”

- “..local headquarters of the Planned Parenthood Organization. I’d paid a visit there.. just after my 16th birthday.”

- Gets 1st note on her school locker: “I’M WATCHING YOU, YOU--.. the words. All the things someone thought I was. And all the things someone planned to do to me, to make me do. Every perverted, sadistic, sick, and sickening ugly act. A twisted porno movie playing in somebody’s brain. the bottom..: YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT. YOU’LL GET IT.”

- “One of the guys.. stepped out in front of me, cupped his hand, wiggling a finger. Hey momma, whatcher hurry? Want a little action? Wanna get it on?”

- 3 pages on how her mother found her birth control pills and questions her about them, where she got them, how long has she been on them, who else is on them, lady who worked at Planned Parenthood, doctor who gave her pelvic, etc.”

- “..stopped at [ice cream parlor].. gang of sweathogs.. flocked in.. eye-cutting sweet pot smell hung over them. They were all heads... ..waitress bawled.. Don’t smoke that junk in here. Cigarettes yes. Joints no. [they] greeted this.. with barrage of catcalls, mostly beginning with the word mother.. guys.. smoking their roaches down to hot husks of brown paper. ..[boys] hand.. trailing like a vine in under her [one of the sweathog girl’s] blouse.”

- Gets 2nd note on locker: “..YOU LITTLE... almost the same as the first.. He’d said it all before. ..same psycho plans..”

- The school assembles to watch a silent movie that has been recently rediscovered that stars in it the school’s now very elderly drama teacher. In it a thief chases her, struggles with her and rapes her. But while being raped she begins to enjoy it: “..girl.. clawed long black gashes in his back. His head buried in her breast, his hands wrenching away the.. sleeves from her arms. ..The maiden being ravished. Terror [is] gradually replaced by passion. Her eyes slowly closed.. A secret smile played across her lips.”

- She goes to school counselor about the 2nd note. Counselor says, “’s psychotic ..not just childish nastiness, it’s deeply disturbed ...authentic.”

- When babysitting for a neighbor, she opens door thinking it is her boyfriend who she called because she was scared. However it is P, her best friend’s boyfriend. He asks, “ARE YOU IN THE HOUSE ALONE?” and she realizes it was him all along. He proceeds to rape her: “ little-- hanky-panky out at the lake with S [her boyfriend]. ..fairly disgusting.. Something ought to be done about girls like you... you tend to lower the tone. ..You’re.. the physical type. ..moving towards me.. you don’t save it all for [your boyfriend], do you? ..I planned all along to be sober for this evening.. been very patient in my planning.. lunged at me.. fell flat on my back.. he.. pinned both my wrists above my head with his hands. ..if you struggle, you might wish you hadn’t. Of course, if struggling turns you on, go right ahead. ..whispered in my ear,.. don’t want you to do anything you haven’t already done.. think of me as [your boyfriend]. He doesn’t go in for the rough stuff.. Let’s both enjoy this.. You’ve already lost what you’ve got to lose. ..I thought of the kids upstairs and how screaming would scare them. ..want me? Don’t you? I could have any girl I looked at.. he grabbed the front of my shirt and ripped it. ..Go for the eyes, [her] subconscious voice said again. ..I figured you wouldn’t have a bra on... He pulled my Levi’s down. I felt the floor freezing cold under me. ..he fumbled with his own belt..” She tries to grab fireplace poker. “[he] flattened himself on me.. his body slick with sweat. He slammed his forearm against my throat. hand closed over [the poker handle]. Lie still.. he said in a soft dreamy voice or I’ll have to hurt you more than I’m planning to. I had 1 chance to.. hit him in the side of the head. I hope I kill him. ..but it only grazed his shoulder. he was up.. lightning moves.. twisted the poker out of my hand, looked down at me, surprised, even shocked.. The last thing I remember is the poker in [his] hand.. way his muscle rippled in his naked shoulder when he brought his arm back.. before he swung it at my temple.”

- She wakes up in hospital. Is given a pelvic exam, etc. that are clinically described. A “speculum’ is inserted to check for “traces of sperm.” A “pouch under the entrance of the uterus” is also checked for secretions and sperm. They determine “there was no tearing” and can’t be pregnant because the same doctor had prescribed her birth control pills which she was still taking. She is told to keep taking them even in hospital “until her cycle is complete. ..vaginal secretions... indicate numerous motile spermatazoa.” She is also tested for venereal disease. “..exam for syphilis was negative.. have to wait.. for the gonorrheal culture.” She says to her mother and the doctor she doesn’t have VD or at least is very unlikely. “It was a degenerate, Mother, but I’m pretty sure he isn’t diseased. Not that way. It was P. ...raped me.. sent me filthy.. notes.. called me on the phone.. spied on [my boyfriend] and me and followed us. ..tortured me for weeks... picked his time. And than he raped me.”

- Her identifying P causes shock and fuss. P is the only son of the richest family in the small town for generations. The police question her at the hospital implying she wasn’t really raped - that it perhaps was consensual, etc., etc. Her being on pills and having sexual experience work against her. Their lawyer says they have no chance of winning. Her mom and dad are distraught. Trial would be a public grilling. Defense would say it was consensual, that she was “provocative, immoral, even delinquent. protect(s) rapist..”

- They decide to not place charges. After a while she is sent home. She tells mom if by chance she became pregnant she would have an abortion. Her rapist sends her a large flower arrangement. The school’s drama teacher comes to visit telling her there are all sorts of rumors about how she ended up in hospital and her condition. She tells the teacher that she was raped and who did it. The drama teacher says she was “ravished.. many times.. in films..” Teacher says she thought that “old stories of the maiden who resists man’s desire and her own, only to be liberated by what she cannot forestall” were harmless myths when she was young..” but now knows that they are “..not harmless when the myth fixes itself into a sick mind.”

- Her best friend [A] comes to visit. She tells her that P [her friend’s boyfriend], raped her. A calls her a “dirty liar” and doesn’t accept it.

- She goes back to school. The boy who raped her drives by her on the street and offers her a ride home. He denies raping her. Says, “I don’t have to.. rape.. anybody, and you, well, you’re pretty open-minded.” She throws rock at his car, denting it and breaking his windshield.

- The rapist rapes another girl at the high school. She was found in a ditch just barely alive. She lives and there is enough evidence this time that the police, etc know it is the same boy. Even the rapist’s girlfriend believes it was he, due to his unexplained absence during the time the rape took place. The girl [2nd victim] recovers but nobody ever sees her again. Her family moves. The first victim’s mom makes her first real estate sale selling the 2nd victim’s family house. The rapist disappears from town and rumors have him either in a hospital or off at a boarding school in Vermont.

- The book ends with the following dialogue: 1st victim says, “There are more [like him] out there, you know. [her mom says] Don’t talk that way. [she says] Well, there are. We should have done something else. We still should. [her mom says] But what? What could we do? And then she turned back to her work.”

- In Fairfax County Public School Elementary and Middle School Library System

-See for additional excerpts


"Athletic Shorts"

Crutcher, Chris
Dell Publishing
161 pages
Copyright 1989, 1991

- A collection of six short stories


- A story about a very fat boy who has been elected, as a joke, as the Senior Winter Ball King. He will have to dance with the Senior Winter Ball Queen who he has been in love with [from a distance] since kindergarten. His mom and dad are divorced. His mom remarried another woman and his dad remarried another man.

- “..Angus, the fat kid with perverted parents.. don’t.. spend all my life bitching about being [ugly], or about having parents a shade to the left of the middle on your normal bell-shaped sexual curve.. phantoms of sexual perversity.. point me out for public mockery.”

- “Granddad.. took me to San Francisco to see some gay people... it didn’t help much.. my parents.. are with only the person their with, and [San Francisco] was filled with people looking like they were headed for a.. leather swap meet.”

- “I don’t care who’s with who or what you do in the sack at night, I screamed [at parents].. Just don’t kiss in front of me!.. I like girls!.. [don’t want to see] boys kissing boys. [or] girls kissing girls!”

- Ball Queen tells him that she is bulemic. He says, “I’m a fat kid with faggot parents who’s been in therapy on and off for 18 years.”

- Ball Queen asks him to dance more after first dance and her boyfriend gets mad at her. “You bitch!.. You bitch!... You bitch.”


- “..shitkicker boots..”

- “..great novel of the call girl who could command any price because of the size of her luscious breasts.. would be called ‘The Sale of Two--“


- “..I’m in lust.. look at that.. If we had more woman like that in our lives, we wouldn’t be forced to subliminate our sexual desires rolling around on a.. mat with stinking, sweaty bodies of our same sex.”

- Talking about a boy who must wrestle a girl: “..double-breasted.. takedown. If he does it right he’ll end up on the bottom.. if she’s good, relax and enjoy it. If not, carry her all 3 rounds. Get the win and the goodies... get his varsity letter on the same night he loses his virginity..”

- “..grow up to be a lesbian..”

- “..bullshit..”


- Boy loses his whole family in boating wreck in which one of his classmates [drunk] smashed their boat. He is in age for 3 years at boy who did it. Boy who did it becomes self destructive and a drug addict living in park.

- “..out of your goddamn mind.”

- “Tough shit... Tough shit... You treated [him] like shit... [he] is shit.. That pussy call you up and tell you.. Your the pussy, L... [your dad would] call game on this cheap bullshit.. asshole..”

- “[we] drank all those beers.. out on the ice.. in your Jeepster.. drunk out of your mind. So were we. ..shithead..”


- Story is about a slow [perhaps retarded] boy who is a racist, which he learned from his father. Lots of racial slurs including spic, beaner, chink and nigger [about 2 dozen times]. Also shit is used twice. A portion of the story is about a toilet incident.

- Boy wants biscuits and strawberry jam which his mom usually makes him. He eats Bisquick raw from box and also strawberry shampoo he finds in bathroom: “ history when it hit.. rumbling inside of me.. had to get to the bathroom really quick.. feeling like a balloon.. wanted to save my clothes.. pants got stuck around my knees.. butt just turned into a cannon.. shooting biscuit stuff all over the room.. bathroom looked like a whipped Jell-O factory blew up in there.. curled up in the corner bare naked.. couldn’t tell if I was all shot out or.. just building up for more rounds.. already happened twice.. spray painted the bathroom out your butt with strawberry shampoo and Bisquick.” Boy gets him clothes from Lost and Found and he heads home. Gets beat up on the school steps by gang of “China kids” but is saved by a “big nigger” who beats up their leader and tells them not to pick on him. Gets on public bus. “..awful smell, like somebody hung a bunch of strawberries down in the sewer.. I wasn’t all done in that rest room.. getting beat up made me quit paying attention.. gone and messed up the sweats.. out of Lost and Found.. sure the people around me noticed.. looked at me.. [they] got up to stand near the back of the bus.”


- “..chickenshit..”

- Boy whose girlfriend recently died meets boy who is in advanced AIDS.

- “..AIDS isn’t something you just get, like flu. How you get it is the thing. ..homo. stay as far away from faggots as you can.”

- “So what if this guy’s a faggot?”

- “..wondering what Roy Rogers would think of me being alone in a semi-dark bar with a man of questionable sexual preference. ..I’m dying in an ugly way.. ..would help to know.. How you got it,,, I’m gay. I got it by having anal intercourse with another man.. Would you rather I were an IV drug user? I hated to admit it, but yes. ..I’m.. scared.. couldn’t stand them looking at me like I was.. so dirty.”

- “..sliding for the last time into that pitch-black pit.. sucks all your energy dry.. open sores on your body..”

- “Something that made gay people like me? ..latent homosexuality.. are you afraid I’m going to make a move on you? ..I have AIDS.. sexual relations with anyone.. could kill them. I would never do that.”

- “..he might be grooming me to shoot him ..when the time came and he couldn’t stand it anymore. ..Jesus,.. shitty possibilities.” However the gun is really a camera that looks like a gun. “..Jesus Christ, it is.. people using the fact I don’t like to kill things to prove I was a faggot..”

- “..chickenshit..”

- “..[his] nephew is a faggot... faggot.. dumbshit... I warned you.. faggot.. sexual preference.. sexual preference.. stay away from him.. if C thought he was gay, then so did a lot of other guys, and I didn’t need everyone thinking that about me.”

- “AIDS didn’t tarry. ..answering machine.. no mistaking [his] voice. ..He did sound like what you think of as gay.”

- “.. shit in order..”

- He goes to visit him in hospital. Holds his and when asked. His friend comes buy and sees him holding it and “..I jerked my hand free.. but it was too late. C grimaced and shook his head and walked away.”

- “I only learned I was gay a couple of years ago.. now I’m almost gone.”

- D dies of AIDS

- “I told you that D.. was fag. ..had AIDS. ..So what kind of guy hangs out with a homo with AIDS and doesn’t tell his friends. AIDS is serious shit.. I don’t have AIDS..

- In Fairfax County Public School Elementary and Middle School Library System

- 63rd most challenged book of the 1990’s


"Baby Be-Bop"

Block, Francesca Lia
Joanna Colter Books
Hardback 106 pages
Copyright 1995

- Book cover/size/number of pages looks aimed at young (5-8th grade) reader

- Book is constant stream of controversial material; one of series of books by author

- Coming out story of teenager from unusual family

- One of the most offensive lines in any book: "That nigger looks like he's got a mouth full of cum"

- cigarettes, alcohol, lots of pot smoking/brownies

- "P. had his legs around her and their bodies were moving up and down in the water."

- "Fuck facist skinhead shit"

- talking to dead/dreams

- "She danced for me…and made love all night.."

- "I felt her draw me inside her like a mouth on a pipe.."

- "She let …sleep over and she had told all the girls that whenever they were ready to have sex she would take them for birth control."

- "he never talked to the men he touched in bathrooms and parks and cars……I guess I deserve this…holding a man in a cold-tiled, sour smelling mens room."

- "How much do you hate yourself, faggot? Enough to come to piss stalls in the night? Enough to die?

- Placement in Fairfax County Public Library Junior Fiction section challenged unsuccessfully in late 1990’s. Discussed before Fairfax County Board of Supervisors ( in closed hearing???)

- Author of a number of gay theme/coming out books that have been challenged in a number of libraries and schools: Baby Be-Bop, Cherokee Bat and the Goat Guys, I was a Teenage Fairy, Weetzie Bat, Witch Baby, etc.

-See for additional excerpts


"Bastard Out of Carolina"

Alison, Dorothy

See for excerpts


"Be True to Your School: A Diary of 1964"

Greene, Bob

See for excerpts



Morrison, Tony
Penguin Group
Copyright 1987

- “They were young and so sick with the absence of women they had taken to calves. ...a year on pallets eaten up with dreams of her. A year of yearning, when rape seemed the only solitary gift of life.”

- “ niggers is men every one of em. Bought em thataway, raised em thataway..... Ain’t no nigger men... if you a man yourself, you’ll want your niggers to be men too... wouldn’t have no nigger men round my wife... smart enough to make and call his own niggers men.”

- “..minus women, fucking cows, dreaming of rape... rubbing their thighs and waiting for the new girl... She waited a year... the.. men abused cows while they waited for her. She chose H. and for... first bedding..”

- “They beat you and you was pregnant?.... she felt.. his hands under her breasts..... Behind her, bending down, his body an arc of kindness, he held her breasts in the palms of his hands.”

- “Over whelmed as much by.. luck.. as by the certainty of giving her his sex... before him was.. new girl they dreamed of at night and fucked cows for at dawn... what leapt to eye were places to lied down, and all else - door knobs... was interference. It was over before they could get their clothes off. 1/2 dressed and short of breath, they lay side by side resentful of one another... were sorry and too shy to make talk. .. P. saw the float of her breasts and disliked it, the spread-away, flat roundness of them that he could definitely live without,..”

- “..on top of a mattress on top of a dirt floor of the cabin they coupled for the 3rd time, the first 2 having been in the tiny cornfield... The jump, thought P., from calf to girl wasn’t all that mighty. Not the leap H. believed it would be. And taking her in the corn rather than her quarters, a yard from the cabin of the others who had lost out, was a gesture of tenderness. .....they watched the confusion of the tassels in the field below. It had been hard, hard, hard sitting there erect as dogs, watching corn stalks dance at noon.”

- “P. took to having S. on waking, so that later,... his head was clear.”

- “He was accustomed to sex with S. just about every day,.. made it his business to take her back upstairs in the morning, or to lie down with her after supper. ...dropped off to sleep on the bed the old lady died in... Became his room and S. didn’t object... In any case, since there was no reduction in his before-breakfast or after-supper appetites, he never heard her complain.”

- “..picked up and put back down anywhere any time by a girl young enough to be his daughter. Fucking her when he was convinced he didn’t want to. Whenever she turned her behind up,”

- “..who had eaten raw meat barely dead, who under plum trees... crunched through a dove’s breasts before its heart stopped beating.... watch another man, whom he loved better than his brothers, roast without a tear just so the roasters would know what a man was like.”

- “A lowdown something that looked like a sweet young girl and fucking her...”

- “..fell in with a groan and the woman helped him pretend he was making love to her and not the bed linen.”

- “She thought quickly of how good the sex would be if that is what he wanted..”

- “..didn’t stud his boys. Never brought them to her cabin with directions to ‘lay down with her’, like they did in Carolina, or rented their sex out on other farms.”

- “Her puberty was spent in a house where she was shared by father and son, whom she called ‘the lowest yet’... who gave her disgust for sex and against whom she measured all atrocities. A killing, a kidnap, a rape - whatever, she listened and nodded.”

- “Coupling with her wasn’t even fun. It was more like a brainless urge to stay alive. Each time she came, she pulled up her skirts, a life hunger overwhelmed him and he had no more control over it than over his lungs.... afterward, beached and gobbling air, in the midst of repulsion and personal shame,..”

See for additional more extensive excerpts

See for additional excerpts/review

- In Fairfax County Public School Middle School Library System

- Prince William County Public Schools required reading for Twelfth Grade IB English

-45th most challenged book of the 1990's


"Black Boy"

Wright, Richard

See for excerpts


"Bless Me, Ultima"

Anaya, Rudolfo A.
Warner Books, Inc.
Copyright 1972

- About young (7 year old) Hispanic boy in 1940’s

- “T. will be her (mom’s) priest.......I will bless you I cried and made the sign of the cross...... You little bastard!... they grabbed me, took off my pants and took turns spanking me. then they tossed me on the roof..... I will bless you! I cried......Hey! we’ll have to say goodbye to the girls at Rosie’s!...... I remembered when we took our cow to S.’s bull...the bull smelled the cow he jumped his pasture fence....I was very the tailgate of the truck and let the cow out. Immediately the massive weight of the bull was on her, humping her down, my father and S. were laughing .....they took turns drinking from a whiskey bottle... and talked about the girls at Rosies’s. Whoopeeeee!......they were like wild bulls running down the goatpath towards town”

- During an “exorcism’ of a sick Uncle: “the acrid smell of the dark yellow pee blended into the fragrance of the cereal. I felt better after I sat down......could not hold the food down....vomited a poisonous green bile. My nose and eyes burned when I threw up......uncle sat up....screamed the tortured scream of an animal in pain....lips that dripped frothy saliva....body convulsed with the spasms of a madman .. face contorted with bile poured from his mouth...vomited a huge ball of hair. It fell to the floor, hot and steaming and wiggling like live snakes....she swept up the evil, living ball of hair. This will be burned, by the tree where the witches dance”

- “I could not have been more entranced if I had seen the Virgin, or God Himself. The golden carp had seen me. I could have reached out...and touched the holy fish! ..had witnessed a miraculous thing, the appearance of a pagan god.. this is what I expected God to do at my first holy communion! If God was witness to my beholding of the golden carp then I had sinned!”

- “They will burn sulfur instead of holy incense. They will sing and dance around her coffin... will slay a rooster and spread his blood on their dead sister... her body will be smeared in blood”

- “Hey T... is it true your brother’s been whoring with the girls at Rosie’s?”

- “No play, shit!”

- “Cuckold of the devil himself, who slept in your bed and left your wife with fat brujas (witches) for daughters!”

- “You are drunk! Or mad! Or both.... You know I only let gentlemen visit my girls..... something told me to flee the house of the naked women... Don’t play games with me whore.. call M. ....It was A. arm around a young girl... robe so loose it exposed her pink shoulders and the soft cleft of curving breasts.”

- “You do not think with your brains, but with your balls.... So the young buck will sleep with his whore..”

- Nightmare: “..she was naked, and her long flowing hair enveloped A. ...he followed her into the frightful fires of hell.... God forgive him! I screamed ..... I am not a God of forgiveness! the voice roared.... I hear no one who has not communed with me! .. Your brother sinned with whores, and so I condemn him to hell for eternity! No! I pleaded, hear me and I shall be your priest! I can have no priest who has golden idols before him.............I turned and saw the forgiving Virgin. A. she smiled, I forgive them all. You cannot! must punish T. for killing N. ....again laughter rang from the flames. You foolish boy, God would have a God who forgives all, but when it comes to your personal whims you seek punishment for your vengeance. You would have my mother rule my heavens....but you would also have her taint her hands with the blood of vengeance.... Vengeance is Mine! He shouted, not even your golden carp would give up that power as a god! ....forgive me Lord! I have sinned exceedingly in thought, word and deed....... I saw the blood of N. flow into the river and mix with the blood of L.”

- “...he peed all over R’s shoes.... it was funny as hell..”

- “you’ll go to hell too...... you don’t believe in God!”

- “My mother died when I was three, my old man drank himself to death....... my sisters are whores, working at Rosie’s..”

- At school he pretends he is a priest taking confessions: “..Tell him only your worst one R. coaxed H. ......I made a whole in the wall... could see into the girls bathroom... could see everything.. her ass...hear the pee...You have sinned i said... There’s more .. I saw a teacher..... it was biggggggggggg....... give him penance the girls are dirty H. they cried....... me next! .....B. shouted. I got a better sin than H. ....Bless me, father! .....he kept making sign of the cross over and over....... i saw a boy and girl fucking in the grass.....smiled proudly and looked around... Ah, I see them every night under the railroad bridge V. scoffed... naked! Jumping up and down. Give me penance (B. said) .. a rosary to the Virgin, I said .....Like H.? he shouted. .....but my sin was bigger .. he threw me down.... another rosary for daring to touch the priest...that made him happy and he settled down... F. next...they grabbed F. and made him kneel in front of me..... No! i protested....Confess him they chanted...what are your sins I asked? ... I don’t have any F. said ..... Tell me one sin I pleaded ....Confess your sins or your go to hell R. cried out ..... It was God who has sinned against me (F. said)... They were gathering around me now, I could feel their presence and hot bitter breath. ...they wanted me to punish F. ...Make his penance hard....Make him kneel and we’ll beat him ....Stone him! ...beat him! ..kill him!...”

- At his first communion: “...saw B. jump up and push his finger into his mouth. The host had stuck to the roof of his mouth. He was jabbing God with his finger, trying to free Him, choking on Him. ......we filed back to the pew and knelt...Lord I whispered.....Dumb ass E. poked me ....Damn! I nearly choked! B. whispered. ...I had just swallowed Him, He must be in there........ A thousand questions pushed through my mind, but the Voice within me did not answer. There was only silence. Perhaps I had not prepared right.........The mass was ending, the fleeting mystery wqas already vanishing. Did you feel anything? I urgently asked L. and clutched his arm. I feel hungry L. answered...............I called out to the God that was within me, but there was no answer. Only emptiness.”

- “There was a red spot on F.’s head where he must have hit bottom or the edge of the culvert. ....rusty-black barbed wire around one arm that must have held him down. ......B. would not come near... a dry rattling sound ...was vomiting and the vomit ran down his chest and stomach and dirtied his swimming trunks. He didn’t know he was vomiting. His wild eyes just stared.......lifeguard...pushed me aside... began pushing down n F.’s back...foam flowed from F.’s mouth.....You fucking little bastards! I’ve told you guys a hundred times not to swim here! Two years I’ve had a perfect record here--now this!

- 78th most challenged book of 1990’s

- On Fairfax County Public Schools Summer 2000 Suggested Reading List For Rising Ninth and Tenth Graders

- Often challenged for witchcraft and language

-See for additional information


"B-More Careful"

Holmes, Shannon
Meow Meow Productions
Paper back, 280 pages
Copyright 2001

- Book is from the so-called “ghetto lit” genre, known for drugs, sex, violence, profanity, gangs, guns, prostitutes and murder. Book is about a girl’s clique, the “Pussy Pound” who use their bodies to get money, cars, drugs, and jewelry. Book is focused on the ghetto thug life with drugs, sex, murder, etc. Book has constant stream of profanity and sex. Excerpts below are only some of the controversial material in the book.

- Page 2 of the book starts in with oral sex, drugs and robbery: “..trickin’.. In broad daylight.. Ummmm, moaned the young hustler.. eyes rolling up in the back of his head.. Her mouth dulling his senses. He was a freak for oral sex.. M.. using her mouth as a sexual favor… had mastered the art of that shit… to support her.. habit.. her head moved slowly and deliberately.. deep throating him.. driving him crazy. Without breaking.. rhythm.. slid her free hand into her jacket.. replaced her warm mouth with cold steel razor.. Don’t move muthafucka!.. yanked his penis and applied pressure on him with the steel razor.” Her associates then rob him of money and drugs. “They ran this game all over.. used [her] as bait. ..releasing her iron grip on the boy’s penis…. backed up into the car..”

- Page 7, Conversation by the ‘Pussy Pound’ : “..this weeds the bomb.. making me horny.. wish I had that nigga who could really do me right.. weak ass niggas out here… ain’t that shit the truth.. don’t know why I fuck with that nigga.. money long, but his dick is short.. fat motherfucker.. if he wasn’t getting money, he’d never get no pussy.. think that nigga ain’t never had no pussy since pussy had him.. should see me faking it, while he hittin’ it. ooh, aah, don’t stop.. should get an oscar for the shit.. he just swear he be killin’ it.. a nigga could never be my man if he couldn’t fuck me right.. so called hustlin’ ass niggas is alike… fuck like.. race to see who cums first.. you know they always win.. bust one nut and it’s over for the night.. what about me motherfucker? I wanna cum too! But that’s alright.. getting mine on the side.. ain’t never had no dick till y’all had some dope dick.. nigga fuck you all night off that shit… why is these niggas tryin’ to front like they don’t eat pussy.. laughter.. giggles magnified their high.. say he’s too good with his hips to use his lips.. see him now, munchin’ on this fur burger.. behind closed doors.. You gotta beat ‘em off the pussy…no licky, licky, no sticky, sticky.. nigga need to know that shit.. pussy rules… tell all these niggas, eatin’ pussy ain’t nothin’.. part of sex.. acquired taste, like drinking beer, but better.”

- Girl and twin brothers in high school: “All [mom] was ever concerned with was which slut’s house did their father take them to… watching illegal drug activity… In school.. boys considered her a dick teaser.. one of the nicer labels.. spread rumor while fondling her.. his fingers.. smelled like fish.. she never let them go all the way she did play the finger game, rubbing genitals and grinding real hard.. bleachers, in school closets, and once even in the boys locker room in a bathroom stall.. twins dropped out.. jumped into game.. dad… gave them 2 ounces of raw dope..”

- “Nibbling and licking the insides of her thighs, he fingered her clit.. [she] was climbing the walls.. right time to enter her.. penetrated her raw.. [she] was a virgin.. excruciating pain shot straight to her stomach. In a missionary position.. tears.. pleaded for him to take it out, but her cries only excited him and he drove his manhood deeper inside her. It was tight as hell and he was loving every minute of it.. established rhythm and her pain turned to pleasure.. thrusting in and out, going around and around.. putting his thing down.. riding her gentle but rough.. If he did it right, he knew could always have her anytime, regardless of what he did.” She gets STD from him.

- “..hotel.. had sex with him, doing it only to spite T.. fucked him to get back at T.. fucking you should be a privilege.. paid privilege! Niggas is dying to get with you.. make them take care of you.”

- “..N finally gave him some.. was too good for him to handle. [he] ejaculated prematurely over and over again… taught her how to cut coke.. weigh drugs and bag it up ..baggin’ up coke for hours and hours at a time.”

- “..all these years that her mother had been shooting dope.. had never once overdosed. Now she was telling her [she had AIDS].”

- “..Pussy Pound… talk of the town, even in the joint. famous for fucking hustlers..”

- Typical profanity laced 3 sentence paragraph: “..fuck he didn’t. Mother fucker done robbed my stash and shit and you don’t fuckin’ no.. What the fuck do you know, motherfucker?”

- “..wanted to look at him in his eyes and see his fear. he wanted S to know why he was going to die.. wanted him to see his pain.. to die like his father had, shot dead like a dog in the street.”

- “…was living a foul life, doing any and everything except fucking and sucking dick for [drugs].”

- “This is from N pussy!.. blasting G’s brains to kingdom come.. lifeless head slowly tilted itself resting on the window which was covered in blood.”

- “..could see.. her round behind and perky breasts.. made his dick hard all over again.. You just gonna fuck me and leave.. ain’t even morning yet.. I’ll stay.. come to daddy, crawl… manhood stood at attention.. she looked up.. took his penis into her mouth.. working her mouth magic.. nothing B loved more than getting some brain.. licking and sucking on him, determined to make him cum in her mouth.. But.. he didn’t want to.. positioned [her] on her back.. N ain’t got nothing on you. You fuck me way better than him, she.. said.. B only slept with young girls… on the side, he would get his dick sucked by fiends.. never new what good pussy was.. used to blow jobs and quickies.. M.. went all out using every sex trick in the book.. was freak performing unspeakable sexual acts in unimaginable positions.. how to prolong his ejaculation in order for her to get her shit off first.. wanted him to master, snorting dope [to] fuck all night long.. try this.. Nigga, stop being a pussy.. this shit will make your dick stay hard all night.. you’re just a lil’ boy..” He tries it, a lot, pukes. “After you throw up, you’ll be ready to fuck all night long!.. heroin… thoughts of fucking M.. dick was rock hard… naked M, playing with herself.. I’m gonna wear this bitch out, he thought…”

- “..sure as there is a God in heaven, they fuckin’. Ain’t no 2 ways about this shit.. no female be drivin’ no nigga’s car unless they family or fuckin’. You know that shit, N. Don’t act like jail done made you confused, nigga!..”

- “Of all the motherfuckers.. you could have fucked.. you had to fuck with my man… you must be fuckin’ crazy. Bitch.. Both you whores is dead.”

- “M had to go.. served no purpose anymore.. the sex was sweet but fuck that… tossing her a bundle of dope.. she.. began.. to snort.. the pile began to disappear.. junkie bitch, B thought… waste of some really good pussy.. had to kill her… began to fondle her breasts.. let me sniff a lil’ more then I’ll take care of you, she [said].. went back to snorting.. B pulled out.. revolver.. placed the gun to the back of her head right behind her left ear.. she continued sniffing dope.. pulled the trigger killing her execution style.. limp and lifeless body crumpled to the floor.. he proceeded to ransack the apartment to make it look like a burglary..”

- “Can one of y’all hit me in the neck[with drug syringe]?.. either there or my pussy.. put this mother fucker up ya ass, if I got to said B.. crazy motherfucker was serious.. drew up 50cc.. injected the hypodermic needle into her jugular vein.. She blacked out… some good shit, said B… too strong for even experienced junkie..” They try to revive her but she dies. They then go to buy a lot more of the dope.

- “..T stroked furiously. Whose daddy bitch? he asked driving his manhood deeper and deeper inside her. You are… Don’t stop.. she said ready to cum all over him. T was in a sexual trance, humping away using long powerful strokes to pound her vagina.. harder, harder, ooh T, she said digging her nails into his back.. he wanted to cum with her, Cum for daddy, baby… exploding like a broken dam inside her.. claw his back till she drew blood.. pleasure and pain simultaneously and he loved it.. her shapely as cheeks sway side to side as she hurried to the bathroom… Too bad, she’s a hoe, T thought.. just met her tonight and within a few hours he was runnin’ up her.. on the way over to the hotel he had her performing oral sex on him as he drove.”

- “M developed an insatiable appetite for dope.. turned into a nymphomaniac.. hustlers lining up to take advantage of her.. got her high and ran trains on her.. videotaped.. willingly participating in a threesome involving another female and a male.. dope whore.”

- “T loved.. strip joints.. had every stripper that worked their at least twice.. rates varied.. being.. regular.. got a discount.. reasoned, if I could get what I needed at home, I wouldn’t have to creep around. S refused to perform oral sex on him.. was mandatory shit for T.. been together for 4 years and it was still same ol’ shit in the bedroom.”

- Sex, anal rape and brutal beating: “B’s first piece of pussy in 4 years [due to jail].. drove his well-endowed manhood deeper into her.. bang her head up against the headboard with each thrust. pinching her nipples.. she grimaced in pain.. flipped her over and penetrated her from the back, doggy style.. she felt nothing… just brute force.. praying that he’d hurry up and cum.. humping away like a crazed dog in heat.. smacked her ass cheeks so hard.. caused [her] to wince.. turned him on so much.. hit her harder… pulled his penis out of her vagina.. slammed it into her anus.. she tried to get his dick out of her asshole.. take it out! take it out! she screamed, her cries exciting him more.. applying his full body weight.. began to hump his body into hers.. pain and agony.. she screamed.. pinned her down and placed her in a choke hold.. was all his.. pain.. tears.. B was stretching her asshole wider and wider.. enjoying himself.. screams of agony.. foul stench began to pollute the air… blood ripping from her insides.. this was payback.. demoralize her.. humiliate her.. teach her.. lesson.. Still violating N’s rectum, B pounded away till he was on the verge of exploding.. withdrew his feces coated penis and came all over her butt.. she.. made a mad dash for the bathroom.. had to shit so bad.. shit hit the water like a ton of bricks.. raw and sore, very sore and bleeding.. N took a hot shower.. B.. wiping the shit off his dick with her blouse.. chuckled.. nothing but a whore.. gonna treat her like one.. started doubling up wire hangers.. about to bring the pain.. he.. cold cocked her.. rained blows from every angle on every part of her body.. brought the wire hangers down so hard.. WHACK! WHACK! WHACK!.. blood curdling screams.. only excited B beat her until he drew blood.. welts.. across her face, neck, chest, back, thighs, buttocks, and legs.. beat and stomped.. she lost consciousness.. lashed her again and again.. threw down his bloody weapon and unzipped his pants. pulling out his penis, he urinated on her head.. after that.. continued to methodically beat her..”

- “We used to fuck 3 or 4 times a day…Now.. ain’t even 3 or 4 times a week.. I know you fucking.. you love pussy, you gots to be.”

- This book continues with lots of other controversial material including 4 more incidents of oral sex, more beatings, murder and torture, profanity, etc but the above material is indicative of the type and magnitude of this material

- In Fairfax County, VA Cedar Lane School


"Boy’s Life"

McCammon, Robert

See for excerpts


"Breaking Boxes"

Jenkins, A. M.
Delacorte Press
182 pages
Copyright 1997

- Inside front jacket indicates for ages 14 and up. Book is about C, a high school boy. Dad left his mom when he was born. Mom drank herself to death. C is being raised by T, his older brother, who is a homosexual. After being suspended for a fight he becomes friends with B, a rich boy who drives a Corvette and hates his parents. The f-word is used 29 times, the s-word 43 times, a## or a##hole 25 times, t#ts 2 times, b###ard 3 times, b###h 3 times, and GD 11 times.

- “..she doesn’t dress like a teacher.. blouse is loose fitting.. not buttoned all the way.. can almost see some cleavage.. Once you’ve noticed somebody’s tits, it’s hard to keep your eyes away.. Tits are like magnets..”

- “..asshole.. asshole.. I don’t have anything against drinking.. [or] getting drunk.. my mom died from it. ..couldn’t eat anymore; she just drank.. dying.. more and more yellow.. whites of her eyes were yellow.. house started smelling like death.. So the only time he’s not an asshole is when he’s drunk… Yeah..”

- “His family’s starting to sound like a pain in the ass. ..picks up phone and dials. ..Mom?.. Fine. Yeah. Yes ma’am. Click. Stupid bitch”

- “[teacher is] wearing jeans.. fit good.. bending over.. I.. observe a moment of Ass Appreciation.”

- “You like vodka? ..I’ve got a bottle.. Screwdrivers.. vodka and orange juice.. He’s chugging the vodka.. How often do you do this?.. Weekends mostly.. pretty sad.. What else is there to do? basketball.. movie.. pick up girls.. All of which are more fun if you’re drunk. Even sadder.. my mother drank herself to death”

- “L says he did her after the… game.. goddamn liar.. One time it was in the car, another time it was at her parents’ house… did you ever do it? Yeah.. Who?.. M.. You’re kidding.. she’s so quiet.. she’s not always quiet.. You? kind of. ..right in the middle of it.. just getting it in and her parents came home.. hopping around to get my pants zipped.. her skirt pulled down.. they come in.. hits the [light] switch.. see [her] bra on the floor.. put my foot on it.. shove it under the couch.. her dad’s giving me the evil eye, but I can’t get up because I’ve still got this huge boner.. Poor guy. Once you’ve seen a girl naked, it’s like engraved in your brain.. Her dad’s a real bastard.. So, how was M?.. Pretty good. You do it once?.. No. ..were you like dating.. She thought we were.. found out she thought it meant more than it did, I quit seeing her. What else could I do? Keep porking her, which would make her think I cared?.. You know who I wouldn’t mind doing?.. Miss R [the teacher].. What’s her first name.. Bambi.. You’re shitting me. ..More like Titzi. We’re cracking up.. I’ve got it. Erotica. Erotica…

- “shit.. ..look[s].. like something a girl would wear.. Eat shit and die.. It’s so gay.. makes you look.. iffy. ..ignorant bastard.. found out [my brother] was gay when I was only 10.. before I knew what it meant”

- “[didn’t care] who somebody else screwed-except as a matter of general curiosity… I don’t do things half-assed.”

- “ drags kid off his trike.. trike’s tangled up with the kid’s legs.. jerks the kid loose.. smacking the kid across the head, back, anywhere. ..cut it out! ..There’s a cop car.. heading this way. Big fucking deal.. gives the kid an extra shake.. kid’s arm’s about to get yanked out of the socket. ..Stupid little shit.. another whack across the kid’s head. ..guy.. grabs stick.. takes step towards me.. I’ll do anything I goddamn please.. you can fuck off.. You hit that kid again.. I’m going to.. shove this stick up your ass! ..shove the broomstick up his ass. Goddammit..”

- “’re one horny son of a bitch. ..Why, yes.. you’ll probably get laid about 10 times more than I ever will.”

- “[my brother’s] been seeing a lot of Matt lately. I don’t ask him about it, because ever since the phone threats [he’s] been touchy about discussing his relationships.”

- He goes to party at someone’s parent’s lake house: “I’m not planning on drinking a whole lot. ..people are drinking.. red drink out of cups.. he makes a beeline for the keg. So I end up with beer. ..see people dipping the red stuff out of this punch bowl on the bar. ..What if I get wasted and make an asshole out of myself? [B’s] on his 2nd beer. No, 3rd. I forgot he chugged the 1st one, to get a head start on the evening.. hostess, M.. boy she must be bombed.. she’s like all over him.. one of the most terrific bodies I’ve seen on a high school girl. ..I wouldn’t push her away.. B’s trying to take advantage of the fact M’s trashed. ..not that trashed.. slides out of his grasp.. giggles.. I need another beer [she] announces.. Nice ass, L says as M totters of.. exactly what I was thinking.. Thought I’d walk down by the lake.. Can I come too? K asks. I nod. ..I lean over.. kiss her. ..I’m getting kind of horny, but the horniness has the tiniest bit of something else dragging it down. ..if she wasn’t so goddamn serious I wouldn’t mind nailing her.. lips are soft… like a magnet.. I have to kiss her again.. don’t want to get too involved but she slides her arms around me. hands slip around to the front of her shirt.. fed up with the way I’m taking this too slow.. seeking out buttons.. she doesn’t stop them.. finding there way over her skin.. she presses against me.. goddamn if I get caught up or not, [my hand’s are] on a search mission.. hear her give a little gasp, and after that gasp there’s only 1 thing, and every button and zipper is in the way.. ease her back onto the ground.. she doesn’t seem to know what to do, but her arms say around me.. they’d better because I’m not sure I could stop if I wanted… So did you do her? B asks.. yeah.. Shit. It figures. I came away with nothing.. how was it? Fine.. I don’t want to talk about it.. was great and all, but I feel like I’m doing something wrong when it’s over and I’m pulling up my pants and she’s trying to get everything back on.. in old movies you lie there and smoke.. But this isn’t the movies. ..reminds me of the only other girl I ever did it with.. lost count how many times we did it. They were all fine,.. all fantastic, but this one time she cries when we’re finished and says how she loves me. ..asks how I feel about her. ..can’t say I don’t dislike you because that would be rude after I just, you know. ..I should have lied.. couldn’t.. maybe that’s what your supposed to say when you’re finished.. keeps it from being embarrassing.. should’ve had [K] fill out a comment card. B starts laughing. The service I received was -A, excellent.. could have heard me moaning in China.. did she?.. Moan. Shit.. She looks like a moaner.”

- He and B leave party: “I’m going home happy. No shit, B says. Well I am too ‘cause I got drunk even if I didn’t get lucky. ..need you to drive.. can still beat curfew.. they won’t get close enough to smell it.. I don’t have a license.. choice.. I drive with a buzz and we end up smashed into tree. ..up shit creek. All right, I say.. shifting’s a little rough at first.. thinking if you put me and B together you’d have one hell of a guy.. able to get drunk, screw around like a son of a bitch, then drive himself home sober in a goddamn sports car, without thinking how maybe he should have at least made sure K had a ride home. C.. could have walked away without even offering her a hand up off the ground. ..Not that I feel bad. Some things just take.. longer to blow off. Like.. why you can’t look somebody in the yes after you’ve just finished fucking them. But it’s over.. and my body is very relaxed and pleased.. Shit..

- C and B get back to C’s house and are talking with T: “..all there is to do out there is drink.. Mostly.. I say. B’s laughing.. What else.. T asks us.. I know he’s thinking about drugs.. get laid, says B.. Did you use anything? [T] asks.. didn’t have anything with me, I say. So why did you do it? caught up in the moment.. Is your brain located in your dick.. only takes one time.. Shit, I’m sorry.. pregnant.. disease.. didn’t catch a disease… was her first time.. [another boy is] going to shit [B] says.. sleeping with someone you met at a party? Do you even know her?” C only knows her first name. “..guy who’d pop a girl’s cherry, then walk off.. her standing by herself.. Maybe you need a warning label [B says].. Do not operate this machinery without proper equipment.. tattooed on, T adds.. where you can’t miss it… don’t make tattoos that big, I say.. hire a billboard painter. ..With a microscope, T says.. smiling.. but only halfway.”

- “..B says.. only thing that would make either [of my parents] give a flying fuck how I feel is if I took one of my dad’s guns and blew my brains out right in front of them. undertaker could fix it up.. crappy-looking corpse for all his business associates to see. ..mess would give my mom redecorate.. dad would get off telling [workers] what a shitty job they were doing. They’d end up loving it. ..Maybe sleeping pills are the way.. I was suicidal a lot when I was your age, T says. ..felt unconnected to people. ..nobody I knew had been there.. dad left when C was born.. Mom too drunk to remember her own name.. died when I was still in high school.

- “..hoping my mom went and got the wine herself so she’d at least be passed out when T got home. ..she was on the middle of the living room floor.. pissed in her pants.. got her cleaned up.. put to bed..”

- “..think maybe K told her.. how you measured up.. girls.. rate guys.. seemed to like it okay.. how do you know? Shit.. I was there.. how do you know she wasn’t just being polite?.. You can tell.. She doesn’t have anybody to compare me to.. B’s the one who needs help getting laid, not me. ..One of us should be getting some.. No.. She’d be expecting all this shit.”

- C and K talk: “Did I do something wrong?.. maybe she figures she’s some kind of sexual klutz. ..No.. You were great.. It’s just me.. C, she says.. voice.. still shaking.. was hoping maybe we could be friends.. talk and stuff.. Friends, my ass [he thinks].. I can’t, I tell her. ..stuff that doesn’t have anything to do with shit like feelings.”

- “..hadn’t.. mentioned to B that T’s gay. ..He’s seen that T never joins in when we’re talking about girls. ..never said a word about his love life.. understands gays don’t talk about that stuff in front of straight guys.. if M knew half the comments B’s made about her tits, she’d slap the shit out of him.”

- C tells B that his brother is gay: “..look comes over his face. ..knocks my hand away. ..Jesus. ..I changed clothes at your place today. ..God. Right in front of him. ..I took off my fucking clothes!”

- C calls T a pervert because he is mad but knows he really doesn’t think that. “I generally know the last names of people I sleep with [T says].. care about them first.. feelings for somebody before you drop your pants!.. refusing to take phone calls from a girl.. been screwing for months.. take some stranger’s virginity like she’s offered.. a Kleenex.. take sex about as seriously as blowing your nose.. Fuck you [C says]” C slams T into wall and pounds his fists on his chest. T says, “I’m so fucking sorry.. too fucking quiet in here.. [C goes out].. too bad you can’t tell who hates gays, just by looking at them. ..that fuckwad [B].. sounds like he thinks T’s been secretly lusting after him.. Why does this shit happen to me?”

- “..T says, as far as B knows, gay guys are flits in spandex molesting young boys.. he’s gotten close to me and actually liked me.. shook him up.. Because.. virginity can weigh on a guy. ..don’t know what virginity’s got to do with anything. ..never had sex.. never really positive you’re going to be able to do it, until you’ve done it just once. ..I understand what T’s getting at. ..You think B’s gay? I ask. No, says T. I think he’s scared. ..crossed his mind that maybe he is but doesn’t know it-and it scared him. ..even more scared what other people might think. ..What a wuss, I say. ..He is a wuss. N didn’t shit bricks when he found out you were gay. ..don’t give a shit how hard B hits any walls.”

- C at school: “..hear your brother’s a fag. Anger.. anger’s this hot wave.. blast… their whole fucking crew.. bastards.. son of a bitch. is it true?.. Your brother likes boys?.. goddamn.. Does it run in the family?.. Fuck you.. You like boys, C?.. C likes girls [K says]. ..God, she’s pretty.. I remember how soft. ..How would you know? sneers L.. I know.. M’s party.. C and I went for a walk.. didn’t just walk.. L’s pissed.. K’s.. got more balls than anybody..”

- “Ask me if I give a shit.. Go fuck yourself, I hear him say.”

- “That the guy who porked the love of your life?.. C’s brother brings his meat home.. C gets to select the choice cuts.. can’t resist a well done T-bone. he says.. lisping.. prefers his meat tenderized.. lisp, like that’s what gays really sound like.. basted in its juice.. Printh Charlth.. Taythed and thirloin.. develop a taste for A.1. yourself, B?.. lispy.. goddamn cartoon voice.. [C] slams [L] face-first into the lockers.. bang his face into the metal shelves.. L fights like a goddamn girl.. trying to grind L into the floor.. don’t care if he rips my scalp off.. don’t care if bloods running in his eyes.. smash that asshole[s].. face into the metal..”

- “I’m so fucking sorry [B tells C].. so fucking sorry…

- In Fairfax County Public School Elementary and Middle Library System


"Chinese Handcuffs"

Crutcher, Chris

See for excerpts


"Chronicle of a Death Foretold"

Marquez, Gabriel Garcia
Ballantine Books
Copyright 1981, English translation 1982

- “..girl, as yet a bit untamed, seemed overwhelmed by the drive of her glands.... The time has come for you to be tamed he told her... V. showed him the bloody knife. Let go of her, white man.... She’d been seduced by I. in the fullness of her adolescence... mad love to him in secret for several years in the stables... he brought her to be a house servant when the affection was over. D. who was the daughter of a more recent mate, knew that she was destined for S.’s furtive bed..... He was just like his father... A shit.”

- “He grabbed my whole pussy.. It was what he always did when he caught me alone in some corner of the house.”

- “ agonized, drop by drop, trying to urinate under the.. trees... like pissing ground glass.... he spent about [30 minutes] changing the gauze he had his prick wrapped in.”

- “..her pleasurable mulatto girls could go to bed by themselves and get some rest... been working without ceases for 3 days, first taking care of the guests of honor.. then turned loose, the doors wide open for those of us still unsated by the wedding bash. M., we used to say she would go to sleep only once and that would be to die, was the most elegant and tender woman I have ever known, and the most serviceable in bed... she who did away with my generation’s virginity. She taught us... above all that there’s no place in life sadder than an empty bed.”

- “..since then they were still linked by a serious affection, but without the disorder of love.. she had so much respect for him that she never again went to bed with anyone if he ewere present.”

- “Who the fuck would ever think that the twins would kill anyone..”

- “Nobody fucks with me... Not even my father with his war veteran’s balls”

- “..didn’t cry out again... Just the opposite: it looked to me as if he was laughing. Then they both kept on knifing him against the door with alternate and easy stabs,... Shit, cousin.. you can’t imagine how hard it is to kill a man!... P. gave him a horizontal slash on the stomach, and all his intestines exploded out... P. was about to do the same, but his wrist twisted in horror and he gave him a wild cut on the thigh. S. ... saw his own viscera in the sunlight, clean and blue, and he fell on his knees....... saw S.... face down in the dust, trying to rise up out of his own blood.”

- Fairfax County Public Schools required reading for Eleventh Grade IB English


"Dance on My Grave"

Chambers, Aidan
Harper & Row
Approx. 251 pages
Copyright 1982

See for excerpts


"Deal With It! A whole new approach to your body, brain and life as a gURL"

Drill, Esther & McDonald, Heather & Odes, Rebecca
Pocket Books
Approx. 300 pages
Copyright 1999

- A large portion of the book deals with sex instruction for girls. A FCPS library catalog review says this book is the translation of a website into print and "..a good deal of the text is made up of outtakes from girls' online dialogues culled from the site.." The review states the book is "happily nonphallocentric" and discusses "topics and details that more conservative guides might skip."

- The book describes oral sex, anal sex, group sex, masturbation, orgasms, sex toys including dildos and vibrators, homosexuality, bisexuality, and other sex topics. The book has specific instructions for different sex acts along with cartoon images and "advice" from girls taken from the website describing their own sexual experiences and viewpoints.

- The front cover has a girl in a flasher raincoat facing away from the reader flashing. The next page has her flashing the reader in a bra, underwear and boots. The back cover contains a plug for the book from Francesca Block, an author of many controversial books, some of which are in this excerpts section. Only a portion of the controversial material in this book is excerpted due to its extensiveness.

- “MASTURBATION playing with yourself jerking off whacking off spanking the monkey jacking off jilling off buttering the biscuit So you get turned on. What do you do about it? it standing, sitting, or lying down. ..use.. fingers outside… put.. fingers inside.. rub.. against a pillow.. shower nozzle.. look at books or movies or magazines.. a helpful way to get acquainted with your body… everyone is her own first and most efficient sex partner.. no risk, no pressure. ..ultimate safe sex. ..vibrator.. fingers in my vagina.. rub your clit with an ice cube.. feels great afterward.. put your hands or a blanket.. between your legs, squeeze.. rock.. apply pressure.. rub in a circle.. do it hard and fast. ..Many people get turned on by watching other people touch themselves. masturbating together is a fairly popular activity among couples who have sex on a regular basis.. Some people don’t start masturbating until much later in life.. whatever feels good to you is the right thing to do.”

- “ORGASM the big ‘O’ coming getting off getting your rocks off the little death.. undeniably great.. pleasure center is the clitoris.. manipulating and stimulating.. sexual intercourse-inserting a penis.. moving it in and out-doesn’t pay much attention to the clitoris.”

- “My boyfriend wants to finger me,..”

- “Hand job… Just squeeze and move up and down as steadily as possible… usually when I give a hand job, it’s after we’ve been making out for a while and we’re starting to take off each other’s clothes off.. seems to drive him crazy.. when it comes to me giving him a hand job, he can never get off.. he usually just stimulates himself by giving himself a handjob.. when he is about to go, I.. take over..”

- “dry sex.. felt his penis through his pants..”

- “going down on him giving a blow job fellatio oral sex on a guy: Bringing a guy to climax using your mouth and tongue.. I try to look into my boyfriend’s eyes when I’m sucking.. get him off faster.. lick and suck his balls.. If my mouth gets tired I use my hands to jerk him off.. until I can suck again.. make my mouth soft but tight.. Concentrate on the head.. Underneath the shaft is also a good place.. roll your tongue down the bottom of it. If it’s.. big one.. don’t try to get the whole thing in your mouth.. might.. gag.. have fun and just go with what seems right. ..literally sucked on his penis.. when you ‘suck’.. kinda put him in your mouth.. bob your head up and down sliding your hand up and down his penis at the same time. ..think guys like it better if you swallow, but if it grosses you.. move your mouth away.. cover the head with your hand so he’s not squirting all over the place. ..ain’t so bad. ..Wouldn’t put it on my cornflakes, but it doesn’t taste too heinous!”

- “eating out cunnilingus going down.. like fingering a girl.. just using the tongue.. make a girl cum.. some guys just like eating girls.. he knows I like it a lot..” Discussion on how condoms, some flavored like touch o’ mint, or dental dams are required to be totally safe. “69 is simultaneous oral sex.. Vaginal fluids are meant to be aphrodisiacs. That’s why people get off on going down on girls: the smell, the taste,..”

- “Vaginal sex… hiding the salami.. screwing laying.. fucking.. doing the nasty.. bumping uglies.. penis-vagina penetration is just one part of sex.. not necessarily the best part” stick figures illustrating boy on top, girl on top and boy behind girl positions “known as doggie style” a discussion of how it is important to be well lubricated and lubricants

- “Anal sex: penetration of the anus by a penis or other stuff, such as fingers.. many people find.. this.. pleasurable.. should involve substantial lubrication

- Using objects: “Body massagers.. Dildos.. often.. resemble a penis. Vibrators.. designed for penetration, others for external use. Anything, as long as it’s clean, unbreakable, and has no sharp edges, is a fair game as a sex toy”

- “role playing… Tying each other up (bondage).. Sadomasochism (S&M).. deliberately inflicts pain.. kind of power role-playing. These games can be fun to experiment with.. Multiple partners Three-way sex.. An orgy or group sex..”

- Lists web resources: All About Sex, The Go Ask Alice Web site, and the Sex, Etc. site

- Recommendation for the “first time”: ..request he perform oral sex on you first. ..lubricates things up.. condoms.. lubricated kind.”

- A section on condoms with lots of cartoon condoms with smiley faces. Illustrations of rolling the condom on the erect penis. Instructions on putting on, pulling out, taking off, flavored, ringed, use of condoms, dental dams, or nonmicrowaveable plastic kitchen wrap for oral sex, female condoms, emergency contraception, etc.

- “..risky behavior… activities that carry extremely low or no risk are fun too: masturbating,.. dry humping..” A risk table for various sexual activity is presented. “vaginal intercourse” and “anal sex” are presented as risky, equally risky.

- “Sexual preference is a continuum.. not.. question of being gay or straight.. continuum.. many people fall in between.. people move around on this continuum over time. Sexuality is constantly evolving-one of its many joys… Boys turn me on, but sometimes I dream about girls. ..I’m attracted to both.. Who knows?.. is fine and normal to be confused about your sexuality.. QUEER is *NOT* SOMETHING YOU CHOOSE TO BE. I was born it… Animal sexuality.. bonobos have sex often and in all different combinations: female-male, male-male, female-female. Female bonobos [apes] often mount each other.. rub their clitorises together.. [they] use sex as a way to resolve tension.. the ‘make love, not war’ primates”

- Section on “How do 2 girls have sex… one of the cool things about being with girls is that you know what it feels like when you touch them… oral sex, dental dams.. MICROWAVABLE plastic wrap..”

- “..your sexuality is your own work in progress,..”

- “HOMOPHOBIA.. gay teenagers actually account for 1/3 of all teen suicides. ..Who created us?? GOD!!! If he didn’t want us to be this way, then why did he create us this way??? Answer that!”

- “COMING OUT.. likely to run into some homophobia.. gurrrl luv = good luv!.. GIRLS loving GURLS KICKS BUTT so rock on chics-you all rule.. grrrls like grrrls & its wonderful.. “

- Section on “Where to meet other girls”

- Section on “Ejaculation blowing your wad shooting your load cuming climax”

- Section on “MALE MASTURBATION jack off pull your pud spank the monkey jerk off beat your meat beat off.. several popular techniques.. holding the penis shaft with one hand and rhythmically pulling up and down.. stroking the head, building momentum until climax and ejaculation. ..rub against something, the bed or another inanimate object”

- Section on “parents and sexuality.. heard weird noises.. from my mom’s room.. found her masturbating.. ran out.. I mean I masturbate too, but.. I’m cool with it, but.. read my mom’s email.. to.. dad.. lube up his hard drive.”

- “The struggle for gay rights is most strongly opposed by homophobic religious conservatives,..”

- In Fairfax County Public School Middle and High School Library System

- For Additional information, images and excerpts see


"Desire Lines"

Gantos, Jack
Farar, Straus, and Giroux
Approx. 138 pages
Copyright 1997

See for excerpts



Dessen, Sarah
Approx. 250 pages
Copyright 2000

See for excerpts

- In Fairfax County Public Elementary (Silverbrook -Jul05) and Middle School Library System



Llywelyn, Morgan
Ivy Books published by Ballantine Books
Paperback, 400 pages
Copyright 1991

- "death is........ no more lasting than fucking or farting."

- " we hold our most powerful rituals in the grove ... like the sex magic in which you will take part tonight, Ainvar,"

- " he bound each wrist separately with a leather strip so tightly my fingers grew cold at once. Then he repeated the procedure with my ankles..... Sulis stepped out of the circle and took off her robe. Beneath it she was naked. The druids and the trees watched....... Sulis... arranged my body....began stroking me... She pulled up my tunic, working it off my body, and I squirmed to help her. When her hands reached my belly, my penis stirred and rose like a creature with a will of its own..........She separated my legs and knelt between them. Using her thumbs again, she caressed the insides of my thighs.... Her warm breath stirred the hair of my groin......The energy Menua had described pulsed through me, and Sulis sang, and touched me, until pleasure became excess became agony. I would die without release of the force building in me. I would burst like an overripe fruit ...the power, power, flowing through me now.....thundering with the rhythm of the chant and the gorgeously insistent hands on my body, the power gathering itself.... and exploding out of me in great aching spasms that arched my spine and made me cry out as Sulis gasped and the trees spun around us and the strength sped from me, the magic released like a spear to go singing invisibly through the air to our distant warriors....."

- "Sex magic was wonderful. My first experience had left me avid for more, which only amused Menua."

- "Sulis pointed out..."If you are so eager for a woman, Ainvar, go look for one!' ....... In due course I tried every one who encouraged me within a half-day's walk of the fort. ..... I lost myself in women, in touch, in taste, in scent.......every one was a new experience. A fresh exploration. Each in her turn was dear to me. But none had the gift of magic."

- "Occasionally Menua used the two of us for sex magic,.......I had learned that sex at its most magical is a sacred rite of such power and excitement that anything else left me strangely unsatisfied."

- "Sulis sought me out. 'Perhaps we should work some sex magic together to assure you of a safe journey? ..... Her hair was soft against my lips and the magic came strong and sure."

- "Our warriors have .......taken their best breeding-age women in reparation...... The women should be examined by one of the be certain they are of sufficient quality to mate with our men."

- "Lakuta swayed from side to side. .....In her dance she revealed a lush, ripe opulence, a round richness like sacks of grain bursting with corn. She twitched away more of her gown. Her sagging breasts had large, wine-colored nipples. As I watched in disbelief she began to rotate her breasts in two opposite directions......... But we had only the language of the flesh; our minds could not meet. With hand and hip I studied her, and by dawn I knew her as well as I ever would. ....... The act of sex did not leave me sleepy and dulled. Even without magic it burnished me. Afterward my thoughts ran clear and strong."

- "Sex magic would be the appropriate ritual to help Rix,......found myself unwilling to suggest it to Sulis, who would have been the obvious partner."

- Ainvar goes to get Briga. "When life commands we must obey. ....Briga objected but she did not try to pull away from me....... When I began fumbling with her clothes, she mounted a token defense, but it was too late.. I forced her down........ She twisted from side to side, trying to fend me off with knees and forearms, but every move she made only increased my desire. My flesh was frantic with need of her. ......... She stopped fighting me with a startling suddenness. 'Why did you wait so long to come for me?' When I entered Briga, she responded with a wild, free joy. ....Her soft, round little belly charmed me, and I pressed my lips against its warmth. She rose onto hands and knees to crawl the length of my body from head to foot, pausing along the way to touch, to caress, to look back mischievously over her shoulder and inquire, 'Do you like this? And this?' I grabbed her from behind and buried my face between her buttocks, savoring the juiciness of her. She laughed; I laughed. The two of us were a festival. The wildness returned, deeper and richer than before. the ultimate moment.....I whispered into Briga's hair as the cosmos crashed around us. .........When we lay quiet once more......I...reflected on the nature of the special climax that can occur with a special woman. The climax that takes place not in the loins, but in the head and the spirit. ............ We slept and woke....... At last I thought I had nothing left to give; then Briga took me into her mouth and caressed my thighs and belly until they grew heavy with the need to give again. She swallowed my seed in lavish gulps. 'Now your body will nourish mine and become part of me ,' she whispered, pleased with herself."

- "Trusting in the power of ritual, I expected marriage would change her. .........The women who were being married stepped forward......We men watched, imagining those worshipful hands and mouths on our bodies. Then we all joined to dance the pattern that reenacted pursuit and capture and prepared the women to surrender. ....When the dance ended, I stood behind Briga, with no space between us. My thighs pressed against her buttocks, my hands slid up her rib cage to cup her breasts. I pulled her tightly against me, against every aching part of me, and shouted with the joy of being alive. The flesh, more eloquent than words, took over. We lay on the earth while the great thunder gathered in me. Briga buried her teeth in the muscle of my shoulder as I spun out of myself............ When at last I lay spent and throbbing, Briga whispered my name. I raised my head. All around us people were murmurring and stirring as they slowly recovered themselves. Some always join the newly married pairs to reinforce their first wedded coupling, but this time participation had been total. ..Every man had a woman..........There was laughter around us, happy and unembarrassed, the sound of people delighted with themselves."

- "My eyes kept following Briga around the lodge, and the rising heat in me was not caused by the fire on the hearth.........When I lay down on my bed and opened my arms, she came into them willingly.........But Briga lay stiffly in my arms and I felt my heat cooling...........But something was, <wrong> and its name was Maia. The lost child was like a shadow between us. 'I'll give you another child.' I said urgently, moving over her. I rammed my rigid self into Briga as if I would find Maia there.."

- "Onuava and I looked at each other. I discovered that I did not want to hit her again. I wanted to rape her. It was the first time I had ever felt that specific desire. She was a woman made for conquest."

- "Once a certain magic has proven itself it should be repeated with as little deviation in the ritual as possible....I did not underestimate the power of sex magic. But Briga, unfortunately, was not available. ........It took me a while to find Onuava. ..........I told her about sex magic. ............No woman is like any other, though some share a blandness that makes them forgettable. Onuava.......threw herself into the ritual with such enthusiasm I had to restrain her........'Do you like this?' she kept asking. 'Shall I put my hand here? Ah, yes, rub me like that! Ah yes! And when I do this, how does it make you feel?'........Together we succeeded in making sex magic......We mated with a scorching joy."


"Eight Seconds"

Ferris, Jean
Harcourt Inc.
Approx. 186 pages
Copyright 2000

See for excerpts

- In Fairfax County Public Middle and High School Library System


"Ellen Foster"

Gibbons, Kaye

See for excerpts


"Empress of the World"

Ryan, Sara

See for excerpts



Uris, Leon
Bantam Book
Paperback, approx. 600 pages
Copyright 1958, 1986

-“Anything to declare? the customs inspector said. 2 pounds of uncut heroin and a manual of pornographic art, M answered [joking]

-“that.. night I had a: blonde, brunette, redhead (or maybe that broad with 2 heads)

-“One night I drank too much.. He was lonely and crew-cut and tall.. drank together.. I woke up in a cheap, dirty hotel room.. still half drunk.. I was naked. The boy was naked too.. sprawled out on the bed.”

-“..met M, the olive-skinned Eurasian woman.. born and made for love. each man has a M hidden deep in his inner thoughts, but he had his in the flesh.. She could delight hi. ..spiral him to heights.. precious, magnificent moments of their trysts.. I love you, you bitch.. given me something that [my wife] never could or never will..[he promises his wife he will never see her again].. She had been so sporting about his affair.. [than, later] she ran off to Paris with a bohemian chap 10 years her junior”

-“..those are testicle crushers and thumbscrews used in torture.. 30,00 dead in Camp 1.. 15,000 corpses just littered around.. the living were eating the flesh of the corpses.”

-“..won infamy by making lampshades out of human tattooed skins.. K, who sported in horsewhipping naked woman.. prisoners who threw themselves on the quick mercy of the electrified barbed wire to cheat the gas cambers.. stacked-up emaciated corpses.. gasoline poured over them.. Fathers holding their hands over the eyes of their sons as German pistols went off in the backs of their heads.. FG specialized in strangling women and children barehanded and who liked watching infants die in barrels of freezing water.. H perfected a method of killing several people in a row with one bullet, always trying to beat his record.. F, who liked to bet on how long a human could live hanging by he feet.. R, who ripped bodies apart.. S, who bored holes into prisoners’ heads and stomachs and pulled fingernails and gouged eyes and liked to swing naked women from poles by their hair. ..experiments.. human guinea pigs frozen to death while they were carefully observed.. implantation of animal sperm in human females. ..hobby was throwing infants into the air and seeing how many bullets he could fire into the body before it reached the ground. his wife.. was also an excellent shot.. merely clubbed and kicked people to death.. burned at the stake.. torn apart by dogs.. The soldering iron! .. melted to fat in the manufacture of soap.. warehouse of human hair for the manufacture of mattresses! ..especially finely shaped skull would be preserved as a paperweight!”


-“..forced them to dig their own graves. They stripped them and forced them to kneel beside their own graves and shot them in the head. ..33,000 Jews were rounded up and shot over immense pits in a period of 2 days. ..Every morning the streets.. were strewn with new corpses. ..teams walked through the streets with shovels and stacked the corpses onto pushcarts. ..wheeled off to the crematoriums to be burned.”

-“1 in 5 persons on the train were already dead. Other hundreds were frozen to the sides of the cars and unable to move without tearing off the flesh of arms or legs. many women threw their children over the rail beds.. to the curious onlooking peasants.. The dead were removed and stacked in 6 new cars added on at the end of the train.’

-“..greatest bottleneck.. was the disposal of the corpses.. taken directly from the gas chambers to open fields and buried in pits.. stench unbearable.. forced the Jewish.. to dig up all the pits and burn bodies, then crush the bones.. proved too foul-smelling , so inside crematoriums had to be constructed. ..troopers who stood in readiness with clubs, whips, pistols, and vicious dogs.. whips cracked in the cold air and brought screams of pain. The truncheons thudded against skulls, and pistols shot into the bodies of those too weak to walk.”

-“..1 in 10 or even more, were mostly young women, some quite beautiful. A few teen-age boys were ordered to join this group. ..the girls would be used as German field whores and the boys for homosexual activities with the German officers. ..a pink badge was worn by homosexuals, a black badge by field whores.. Disease ran wild. prisoners were tortured, driven insane, beaten, and degraded, and every known atrocity conceived by man was committed. ..each morning found dozens of inmates who had hanged themselves by their own belts or thrown themselves on the.. electric wire. The flogging blocks were in constant use and naked buttocks were lashed in public at roll calls.”

-“..D’s new job to wait.. until a gassing was over. ..stood by until shrieks of agony and frantic pounding on the iron doors stopped.. doors.. opened. D had to go to work with ropes and hooks to untangle the hideous tangle of arms and legs and drag them out for reshipment to the crematorium.. was face to face with the tangle of corpses.”


-“..crawled a few yards and collapsed.. Clubs smashed his skull. Hobnail boots ripped his face.. Kill the Jew!.. When the found [him] he was beyond recognition.”

-“as the demented hunchback opened the door, Y sprang.. and plunged the knife deep into his heart.. one short shriek..”

-“Souvenirs? Get lost. Dirty pictures?.. Maybe you like my sister? She is a virgin.”

-“..felt for the smoothness of her body. She took the clothing from her to ease his way and they pressed against each other and she asked to be taken and they blended into one.’

-“..little bastard. Dirty little bastard..”

-“Stop the car.. We are throwing this kike out. ..Within an hour [he] had been killed and mutilated.. decapitated. The bodyless head was held up by the hair and photographed with 20 laughing Arabs around it.”

-“..she undressed.. exchanged kiss for kiss, touch for touch, with an abandon.. carried her to bed.. lowered the shoulder strap of her nightgown and caressed her breast.. No. ..I don’t want this.. I don’t want to be made.. was just overcome by the moonlight.. shouldn’t have thought i was making love to a reluctant virgin, he said.. I will leave..”

-“Her name was A.. fetchingly pretty.. At least before the questioning started.. standing over A and failing her with a rubber hose.. heard it thud into the girl’s face time and again until her nose was broken and her eyes blacked and swollen almost shut.. the thought of smashing her Jewish face delighted him.”

-“..the scandal of one of their generals being murdered in the bed of his Arab mistress.”

-“..uncluttered standards of I-like-you-and-you-like-me-so-let’s-go-to-bed.”

-“[she] was awakened by the light of the day. She stretched and purred with contentment, for her body was pleased with love. She reached out for David.”

- On Fairfax County Public Schools Summer 2001 Suggested Reading List For Rising Ninth and Tenth Graders

-See for additional excerpts



Cormier, Robert
Delacorte Press
310 pages, hardback
Copyright 1988

- Book is about 13-year old [P] who inherits the power to become invisible

- Language includes: niggers, bastard/s (4), shitters, dirty bastard, son of a bitch (2), shit (6), goddamed (3), bitch (2), Jesus, Christ

- P has a sexual attraction to his aunt: “..perfume.. exotic.. her breasts crushed against me.. was she enjoying the effect she had on me?.. almost dissolved in ecstasy.. ached to tell her that I loved her.. more beautiful and enticing than any of the woman in those magazines.. that I feasted my hot eyes on.. That night in bed.. I erupted into ecstasy.. What the hell are you doing?.. my older brother asked.. Nothing, I said.. remembering warnings in the confessional about such practices. Yet, could it be a sin if you did it out of love... pulled the sheet around my shoulders.. brought forth in my mind the image of my aunt.. and all her beauty, the scent of her and the feel.. led me with sweet caresses into sleep..”

- P sneaks into his aunts room and opens her bureau drawer: “.. pair of her silk panties.. held the pink panties to my cheek.. half sick with love and longing.. schemed to obtain glimpses of her.. feasting on the marvels of her body.. terrible and wonderful thoughts I had of her.. She can’t resist anything in pants [he hears his dad tell his mom]..”

- 30 pages into the book P goes to give his aunt a poem he wrote and ejaculates in his pants while they are looking at each other: “The door swung open.. she wore a blue robe of flimsy material.. as in my dreams, the robe was not buttoned all the way and her breasts almost spilled out.. saw the tears on her cheeks.. made all warm and itchy.. and my pants again too tight.. pulling the robe around her, hiding those objects of my lust.. I had been waiting to declare my love for her [he gives her poem].. as I said the words I knew they were a lie.. my love for her was not pure and sweet.. was hot with desire for her body. I wanted to caress her, to gorge myself on her.. needed to show her that I was not like the others, the men I pictured groping for her in saloons.. Despite my shameless thoughts and desires.. robe had fallen open once more and the tops of her breasts were again visible, round and full and white.. I saw the red garters on her thighs.. made my eyes bulge.. heart pound.. terrible hotness race through my veins.. My.. eyes were fastened on her breasts.. I feasted on them while I squirmed before her, face flushed, juices thick in my mouth. Then I felt the surge of ecstasy developing and struggled, bringing my knees together.. bent forward, trying to make myself small.. to hold back that quick and beautiful squirt but unable to do so. as our eyes met, my body quivered with delight.. never known such piercing happiness.. explosive moment of sweetness. I trembled, shivered.. swift shame and flush of guilt.. worse because it had happened while she watched.. Oh, P [she said] Could she see the stains on my trousers.. fixed before her in my shame and disgrace, feeling the terrible stickiness in my trousers.. I ran..”

- Spots his aunt on street one day and follows her: “..bright red high-heeled sandals with straps that wrapped around her ankles like thin fingers caressing her flesh... Shame at following her.. shame at how I had betrayed her in the bedroom.” After observing her go in and out of a house of a married gangster P is spotted by his aunt and they converse on a park bench. He tells her he loves her and he tells her it is not puppy love. He learns that she had been previously pregnant with the gangster’s child: “She had slept with him.. had carried his flesh and blood in her body. had let him caress her, kiss her.. I didn’t sleep with just anybody [his aunt tells him].” He asks his aunt if she slept with the gangster that afternoon: “No.. Oh, he wanted to. He.. touched me. felt me up.. felt me up.. the words inflamed my lust again.. felt my body getting warm again.. caught between pleasure and agony, between sin and my desire. My hand had been in hers all this time.. now she took my hand and placed it on.. her breast, and my fingers cupped her breast, caressing instantly and instinctively, as if they had been born for this.. softness and firmness of her breast.. filled my hand beautifully. I had never held a breast before.. except in my hot dreams at night.. I caressed it in the silkiness of her blouse... knew I was no better than [the gangster] and all the others in her life.. We both wanted the same thing from her. In my shame, my body went limp and all desire left me.”

- He skips confession: “I had held a woman’s breast in my hand... more than impure thoughts in the dark and the touching of my own body.. mortal sin... reciting and entire Rosary.. extra 10 Hail Marys. As insurance.”

- “Pad before me.. pencil in my hand.. face swam before me, my aunt.. More than her face. The breast I had held in my hand.. Could I capture the moment on paper?”

- P now can make himself invisible, and observes a classmates dad paying another classmate to perform oral sex on her: “T, who giggled and pressed herself against boys.. tight sweaters.. displayed her budding breasts.. her small breasts. I drank in the sweetness of her body.. never could do this before.. could look at the movie.. or pictures in magazines but.. had to avert my eyes.. in real life.. staring deliciously.. could go anywhere.. watch them.. making love... take off their clothes as they went to bed.. [he observes the girl going into a store and the owner locking it]... [the owner] touched her cheek, then her breast. His daughter was in my class.. same age as T.. Now.. I saw Mr. D who collected at.. mass on Sunday mornings, pull T to him and run his hands over her breasts.. took out his wallet... extracted a bill.. It’s yours, he said. After.. She giggled as he raised her up.. setting her on the desk facing him. She pulled back her skirt.. he raised her legs onto his shoulders and plunged his face between her legs. He moaned and his shoulders jerked violently as he burrowed between her thighs.. Her eyes were vacant.. Oh, T Mr. D moaned.. voice muffled as he gasped her name and reached around now to clutch her buttocks.”

- Goes to confession [3 pages long] and confesses he touched the breast of a ‘female’. Doesn’t want to say woman because that would lead to a lot of questions and doesn’t want to say girl because that would be a lie. He tells priest he spies on people. Priest says not to be a peeping tom. Going home P realizes he “had forgotten to confess my other great sins: the impure thoughts at night and the spasms of ecstasy they brought. Would the sinning ever stop?”

- When visiting a classmate and talking to her sister: “Her breasts caused a gentle roundness in her sweater. I didn’t know where to look. Was I being a traitor to my aunt..?”

- Decides to go back into house and spy on his classmates sister when invisible. As a result he observes incest between the girl and his classmate: ”.. watch her sleeping, maybe see her undressing... [gets into the girl’s room].. she drew the sweater over her head.. dropped her skirt to the floor.. lifted her slip, white with lace around the edges... raised it over her head.. tossed it.. on the bed. ..stood there in her brassiere and panties.. was slender and delicate in contrast to the fullness of my aunt.. both were so beautiful and had.. similar effect on me. I dared not move, afraid that any movement.. would make me explode into that ecstasy I reserved for my bed at night in the dark.. She.. took off the brassiere and slipped her panties down.. I wanted to reach for the silken undergarments and crush them to my face.. [her brother] stepped into the room.. moved toward her.. She raised her face to his.. they kissed. Hungrily, deeply.. kiss went on, small moaning sounds coming from them, and his hand slipped inside her robe.. clutching each other [they turn lights out].. the sounds of there lovemaking, their gasps of pleasure as they tumbled to the bed... E and his sister..”

- Observes bully demanding money and then oral sex from a 9 year old: “Okay, kid. Down on your knees, No, the boy cried.. Down, [the bully] snapped. ..saw the boy dropping to his knees with [the bully] standing over him.. [his] hand moved to his belt buckle and then to the buttons of his fly.[P intervenes, invisibly, so the bully is unsuccessful with the oral sex]”

- P kills gangster: “..the peculiar sound that passed his lips as the knife penetrated his flesh and found its mark.”

- “R [his aunt when 13-years old] was caught.. in the boys’.. toilet doing a striptease while 6 or 7 boys cheered her on, tossing coins at her feet... was discovered later that year by Mother Superior in.. broom closet.. with 2 boys, performing an act Mother Superior could not bring herself to describe.. mortal sin worthy of damnation to hell.”

- P’s sister informs her that she in past was pregnant but didn’t want to have an abortion so secretly had the baby and gave it up for adoption

- His uncle tells him about something he did when invisible: “Young, beautiful. I slipped into her room, saw her sleeping.. touched her shoulder. She moaned, stirred.. made me burn more. I caressed her. Know what I mean, P? Caressed her... She screamed.. made me. A monster.”

- P describing how he killed the gangster: “held the knife that entered his body. And stabbed him again and again.”

- Thinks about going to confession to confess the murder but doesn’t: “..broken the 5th commandment.. earlier sins seemed paltry.. touching my aunt’s breast reduced to a venial sin by comparison.. After a while, I left the church.”

- The book switches over to the story of P’s nephew [O] who his sister gave up for adoption, and is now a young teen who is just getting the power to become invisible. O’s mom is a drunk and his dad is cruel and beats O and his mom: “..he would hit her for the drinking.. smashing [the bottles] into the sink and smashing her too. ..O tried to block his ears against the noises he heard in the bedroom.. strange noise of the bedsprings.. the cries of his Ma.. the moaning and then her muffled screams and grunting of the old man like a wild animal.. her cheek purple with bruises and her jaw scarlet and swollen, she crawled to O’s bed and whispered.. she had to leave.. went to live in that terrible house.. where the whores lived, although she was never a whore. And she died.. [then] the old fraud.. gave O one of the worst beatings of all.. then smashed chairs against the wall and slammed dishes to the floor, before he finally fell asleep in a heap on the floor..”

- “After his ma died, the kids [at school] did not sing about her anymore but started in on his nose.. pimples and the broken veins.. looked like a battered and bruised strawberry... made up his lists.. targets of his revenge.. entertained himself with images of blood and broken bones and screams of agony as he.. drifted off to sleep..”

- “He killed the old fraud first, hammering the head of his Pa.. Made like he was driving a spike home, hitting him square in the middle of the forehead again and again.. waited in the room for a minute, now that the blood had stopped.. Looked at the bloody hammer.. The first one. ..Goodbye, you bastard of a Pa... slashing [car tires] with a butcher knife he had taken from the convent [where he now lived] kitchen, getting a laugh out of.. a nun’s knife doing damage..”

- Various descriptions of rampages through the town: breaking windows, throwing rocks, denting cars, knocking over the shelves at the library.

- “..spotted a young woman.. pushing a baby carriage... hurt them. hurt them both [voice in his head tells him]”

- “She was passing [the store] now.. where [could] he.. seize her and drag her out of sight. She clicked a long in her high heels.. His hands tingled in anticipation, squeezing open and shut, the way they would squeeze her, squeeze that lovely slender neck, squeeze and squeeze until..”

- Scares and hits one of his few friends the town drunk: “Bopped him good on the head.. sent him reeling.. let him have a blow to the mouth, saw the blood spill, saw the piece of tooth fly out of his mouth. heard the old man’s bellow of pain as he collapsed..”

- O kills the old drunk: “..killed him quickly, did not linger.. the way he did when he killed.. his Pa. He struck him once with a rock.. did not think the old man could have survived the first blow, the whole right side of his face collapsing as he struck [but the old man was tough].. raised the stone again, the old man opened his eyes, terrible bloodshot eyes.. looked right at O... He struck him again..” The voice in O’s head is beginning to talk to him a lot now always telling him to kill people. “Yes, Yes, I’ll do it. I’ll kill the nun.”

- P is in town looking for his nephew O. O knows this and finally they meet. There is a 6 page description of a fight between them when O led on by the voice in his head attempts to kill P with a knife. P finally kills O.

- At the end of the book P has died and the reader is left with the possibility that there is another teenager out there that is just getting the power to become invisible: “..another nephew in a new generation, a madman unleashed upon the world.”

- In Fairfax County Public School Elementary and Middle School Library System

- 65th most challenged book of the 1990’s

- Robert Cormier, author of numerous books for young children, is one of the most challenged authors. Adult content (age inappropriateness) and foul language are two common reasons. Many of his titles have been deemed inappropriate for younger students

-See for additional excerpts


"Fair Game"

Tamar, Erika
Harcourt Brace and Co.
Hardback, 293 pages
Copyright 1993

- Book about the gang rape of C, a retarded high school girl, by other students. Language includes shit (approx. 20 times), asshole, bastard, bitch, Jesus Christ

- “Everyone knows.. girl was available to anybody.. been ‘servicing’ 1/2 the football team.. saw her doing CG.. she wanted it.. her own mother doesn’t want to press charges.. What I really wanted to say is the girl’s a slut and she’s been giving out blow jobs,..”

- “..different diseases M could be carrying: the clap, AIDS, herpes… M [will] screw anything that moves.. been dipping in some funny pools. ..least I’m getting some.. Check out the ass on her..”

- “ Bluestein ‘Jew-stein’.."

- “..laughing abut getting a bite of hot and dark spicy dark meat.. wanted to punch his face.. I’d hump the ears off some WASP bitch!”

- “..only 15 when we finally did it.. don’t even know if I’m doing this right.. awkwardness of a condom and gobs of foam. S had heard Saran Wrap would be enough.. didn’t sound right to me.. wasn’t taking any chances.. both Catholic.. doing something against the rules.. drew us closer.. made it more exciting.. stopped going to Confession.. because.. knew I’d keep right on.. stopped going to church.. S has kept.. taking communion.. never made any sense.. God is everywhere.. loving S made me kinder and more unselfish.”

- S “wants to see other people for a while.. different for a guy.. curious.. want to see what it’s like with.. L says: ” Do what you want.. With anyone.. Any skank.. But don’t think we’ll be friends!”

- “..NM went up for her diploma, all the senior boys stood up.. standing ovation-because NM had laid most of them.”

- C thinking back to 6th grade about when she had to perform oral sex on a man: “..said if I came in the back.. He sat down.. pulled me on his lap.. Sweet Girl.. held me.. sweaty.. he tickled me down there.. felt bad and scary and good.. took his thing out.. red and ugly.. said to kiss it.. Do what I tell you.. Make believe it’s a lollipop. I kept my eyes closed.. he gave me 2.. doughnuts.. [my mom] called.. policeman came.. questions.. other men.. more questions.. mommy talked to me.. bad man.. my body was my own private property..”

- “B looked.. drunk.. kept going over to S, almost on top of her, pinning her.. other guys kept pulling him back.. beautiful.. help me celebrate.. stuck his hands on her tits.. She.. slapped his arms.. want to touch your tits, that’s all.. no big deal.. Who’s going to let me feel their boobs?.. [C] said, I will.. wanted to be friends with him.. he held one in each hand and rubbed my nipples with his thumbs.. got that.. feeling.. leave her alone.. retarded..” Girl tries to get C to go but she yells: “..don’t stick your big fat bitch nose in.. He had his arms around me from the back.. hands on my tits.. could feel his thing all hard rubbing.. my backside.. all the guys watching.. smell the beer on his breath.. he said Lets go in the woods.. OK.. staggering drunk.. romantic.. he was on top of me.. tongue in my mouth.. pulled down my blue panties down.. started rubbing me down there.. like when I touch myself in bed.. only different.. he unzipped his jeans.. took his thing out.. stuck it in me.. pushed and pushed. It hurt.. buckle scraped.. tummy.. some of it felt nice.. had a boyfriend.. isn’t like the bakery man.. he passed out.. [woke].. Go ‘way.. I went home.. panties had blood spots.. If Mom.. sees, I’ll say.. period.”

- “..never saw B get that wasted.. green.. next day.. If I puke, it’s gonna be all over your shoes... last year [M] made it with this dead-drunk broad at.. party.”

- “..slut. ..Hey C, you look.. just laid.. [C] leaned up against B like a cat in heat.. following him in the hall. ..begging for more!.. guess B’s doing it with [A].. not worth it.. icy bitch..”

- L lies to mom about having sex with S but tells her older sister the truth

- C: “Can I go with you?.. OK he says.. You want to give me a blow job?.. OK.. don’t know why they call it a blow job.. don’t blow anything.. I think he’s going to kiss me and touch me like the other time, but he pushes me down to my knees. Hurry up.. hear his zipper.. not like the bakery man. B is my boyfriend.. like the way he’s breathing and getting excited.. don’t like when he shoves it so far back in my mouth. I almost gag.. know B likes the way I did it for him, because 2 other times.. wants me to do it again.. S.. fools around with me a lot.. pulled me on his lap.. feel his thing get hard because of me. If I move around on.. lap, their thing gets hard.. used to say dummy to me.. but nice now. I like C , too. ..he put my hand on his thing under the [school lunch]table.. went under those stairs [with him].

- “A was the only real gay.. was so swishy.. couldn’t miss it.. were kids .. everybody called fags, but actually wimps. Like the chorus fags.. T hates gays..”

- “Damn the Jew-bitch who bore you.”

- “You want to take C with you?.. You know you want to. ..think you’re the only one she’s sucked off?.. Who else?.. maybe we’ll have a party.. want to party? OK C said.. say I want a get-laid party.. pawing her.. I want a get-laid party… Say I’m horny.. yelling out things for her to say.. crudest words.. she parroted everything giggling.. I stared at her bouncing boobs.. 10 of us.. D’s house.. C, stark naked, was in the middle.. when we first got [there] C dancing in front of us… strip.. take it off!.. can swear on a stack of Bibles that she took off every stitch by herself.. underpants.. natural blond.. never saw anybody that light.. riveted.. Her patch was silky, no kinks. ..Who goes first?.. [J leaves because he] didn’t need this Screw-a-retard Brotherhood.”

- “..were you still there when S drilled her?.. Who do you want?.. she point[ed] to S.. has her get down on all fours.. humps her from the back like a dog and we’re all going D! D! and she’s squealing like anything.. He’s always wanted to try it like that… a slut is a slut.. She asked for it.. We’re going Go T! and he can’t get it up!.. grabs this miniature bottle off the shelf.. and sticks it in… She let him do it with a bottle?.. who’s next.. D.. comes up with a mop handle.. that’s sick.. She wanted it.. loved it.. thrashing and moaning and whimpering.. gonna have our own porn flick!.. Own X video!.. We were gonna do it this afternoon.. making up titles, it was a panic.. She’ll keep quiet.”

- C: “they hurt me.. saw the mop handle and I wanted my panties.. wouldn’t let me put them on.. You’ll like it.. the bigger the better.. it’ll be exciting.. could get a date if I did it.. pushed me down.. hands on my tits. hands.. down there. Get some butter.. Like in that movie.. slide it in.. Move.. I can’t see.. S told me to get cleaned up and go home. ..went upstairs.. gunk on my panties.. hurt to pee.. hurt to lift my leg.. put lots of hand lotion.. in my nookie.. burned.. wasn’t like the bakery man. they invited me to a party.. Mommy doesn’t know.. way it is in high school”

- “She wanted it.. What are we.. accused of?.. gang rape… A retarded girl.. was no rape.. couldn’t get rid of her.. wanted it!.. begging for it.. did a striptease.. A bottle.. a mop handle!.. was a miniature.. tiny.. she was willing.. planning to go on with it. A premeditated taping!”

- “..lying bitch!.. friggin’ mop!.. Why’d you have to get the friggin’ mop!.. S.. went into a good imitation. A bottle. Uh-a mop handle! Yeah he wants his old lady to try it,.. By.. afternoon, it was all over the school that C got the boys in trouble. ..did a striptease. hell, we shoulda been there!”

- “Did you gang rape C?.. did the guys.. gang rape her?.. She’s a whore.. been doing it with everybody in school. You, too?.. ..she takes off all her clothes.. on her own.. naked in front of 10 guys, waiting. So what would you expect?.. It happens.. frat party.. girl.. drunk.. up in a room.. all night long.. different guys heading up to that room. It happens. In the Ivies, too. Did you have sex with her?.. say yes or no.. yes, but.. stay and listen.. naked, waiting for it.. She points at me… wasn’t anything personal. It was like all of us doing it together.. was wham, bam, that’s it. I wasn’t cheating on you.. difference between humping and making love.. C’s into kinky stuff, things I’d never.. ask you to do.. Christ, she was willing to try it with.. bottles.. Like a porn flick come to life… crazy and exciting.. funny. Guys get turned on,.. carried away.. had nothing to do with you.. C wasn’t [exciting]. The - situation was.”

- “..this nobody was destroying everything, for me, for S, for all of us. I was rigid with hating her.. time when.. I was sure I was pregnant.. was terrified and S was great.. was there for me, all the way.”

- “My old man beat the shit out of me. Sonofabitch!.. Like I embarrassed him.. how could I be dumb enough to go in my own backyard.”

- “You were the one with the mop, weren’t you? No! I left!”

- “..OK [C], sweetie… tell us what happened. one more time… S did me from the back and then T was going to, but he took.. bottle and they were all watching and yelling stuff and they did it with the mop and it hurt.. did you.. do a striptease? Take your cloths off by yourself?”

- “My daughter was gang raped!… inconsistencies… she did have relations with some of those boys before.”

- “God, can you imagine wanting it with a mop handle? That girl has to be something else!”

- “ yelling and cursing… my brains are in my dick.. could have messed up with Dartmouth.”

- “..let’s go up to my room and make up. ..[his younger brother] knew about us.. knew not to bother us when the door was closed.. he trailed his fingers across my breasts.. relax, babe.. kissed me.. tipped me down on the bed. he did all the things he does, the familiar things that always made my body jump-start. My thighs stayed pressed together and he almost had to pry them apart. S made love to me all by himself. I wouldn’t move a muscle. I didn’t come. I didn’t pretend.”

- “[C says] Am I going with you daddy?.. he doesn’t want me. Before he leaves, he kisses me on the cheek and I throw my arms around him. My body gets warm against his.. press into him and hold him tight. It feels so good. I love my daddy. I rub against him. I rub hard. C, Mommy says. He loosens my hands and makes me stop.. For God’s sake, talk to her,.. [he says]”

- “I lie on my back in the dark.. Mommy can’t tell me! She fooled around with that man.. Everybody does. Kids on MTV. Land S. Being slow in school doesn’t mean I can’t.. I.. touch my special place. I rub it in little circles. I think about that time in the woods with B. My fingers get wet and sticky. it’s not so good all by myself. Sometimes I see a boy at the gas pump.. cite.. he looks at me.. bet he wants to hug and stuff. next time, I’ll stop.. Mommy can’t tell me everything.”

- “..didn’t want flashbacks of her standing naked, shoulder hunched and shivering, in the middle of the circle.”

- His little sister says: “J, What’s a blow job?.. Jesus Christ!.. kids.. said a girl at the high school got gang banged because she was giving out blow jobs. ..What’s gang banged? Is it sex?”

- “How do you explain that to a little girl?.. A bottle and a mop. ..It wasn’t like that!.. wasn’t a regular bottle..”

- “OK, I wish he walked.. but he was on the spot. In front of all the guys, that girl asked him to screw her.. proving.. manhood.. that’s all he did, that didn’t make him a doper or some kind of pervert!”

- “We grabbed for each other.. no time to take our clothes off. My pants remained in a triangle below my knees. his zipper scraped against my stomach.. frantic.. hadn’t been like that for a long time. Afterwards, we rested.. on his bed. ..thought it was like this when my grandma.. died.. thought my sadness would never end, but in the middle of mourning her, I kept wanting sex. the day before the funeral and 2 days after, I got S to make love to me. I felt ashamed for wanting it at a time like that, but I couldn’t help it.. Sex bubbles up to remind you that you’re alive. He.. rubbed his mouth roughly against mine… made my teeth cut into my lips. We made love again..”

- “..psychologist talking.. When athletic teams get involved in group serial sex - they call it ‘pulling train’ - along with the obvious antiwoman aggression, there’s a component of homoeroticism.”

- “..wasn’t a mark on her, no bruises.. incident before, when she was fooling around with some old man.. could still get us on rape if they decide she’s not a consenting adult.. She’s 18!.. can say she’s too retarded to know what she was doing.. bullshit.. dumb, but she .. knew what she was doing! She loved it!.. When we started, I said, I was only 15.. wasn’t a ‘consenting adult’ either.”

- L tape records conversation with C: “When they said, Who do you want, did you point at him?.. I’m your friend.. tell me.. Uh-huh.. was so much fun! They were clapping and everything. S said, Do a strip C.. telling me things to say with the F-word.. we laughed.. was so funny… Did you say ‘no’ later?.. when they.. screwed you, did you say no.. I was nice to them so they’d like me. It was nice the time with B, the time in the woods.. You did it in the woods with B?.. he was going to be my boyfriend.. she was like a 5-year old.. the mop handle. Did you like that? No. ..did you say no.. S said it would be exciting, they said I’d like it, but it hurt. they said try it, you’ll like it… So you just went along with it?.. I guess.. L? Does S hurt you when he - you know? I pushed the ‘off’ button. I felt sick. ..I managed to make it home before I started throwing up.. couldn’t stop retching.”

- “She was a thing for you to play with. You had fun. You and the boys.. I told you, I didn’t make love to her.. You knew she was retarded.. maybe rape isn’t the name for it. Maybe.. child abuse.. Come on, forget about her. Don’t think about it. ..Would you be cruel to a retarded boy, too? Or was it because she’s a woman and retarded? You used to say.. women.. goddesses or doormats.. were you asking me if I would screw a boy? Hell, no!”


" Fallen Angels"

Myers, Walter Dean
Scholastic Inc.
Paperback, Approx. 300 pages
Copyright 1988

- Vulgarity/profanity, war violence

- “..catch a social disease.. rot your twinkie off.”

- “ grab-ass.. You faggots can’t even line up.. did this peckerwood just call me ‘boy’?.. chickenshit to go through.. Lousy-ass chip beef... smoke from Saigon, and we all got stoned.. No shit?.. figure out how to shit.. wake the fuck up!.. across the fucking road..”

- “..fag solution, only capable of coming from the mind of a fag.. just because I don’t have my serial number tattoed on my genitals does not mean I’m a fag. You wouldn’t have room for more than 3 numbers anyway..”

- “..when you say ‘gooks’ it sounds like ‘nigger’ to me. ..shut that shit up,..”

- “..damn roast beef.. put a hole in your ass for every slice.. I see.”

- “..dumb fucker.. Simple-ass.. I know [a prayer].. Flying into combat, ‘bout to have a fit, Lord, if you listenin’, please get me out of this shit!”

- “..shithead!.. fucking hero..”

- “..I’ll be 20.. and I’m still a virgin.. noble flicks about interracial love, and they kill you off at the end so they can show it in Georgia. Shit.”

- “What the fuck’s a cootie?.. like calling me a nigger... Two-Timing Slut...”

- “..just shot the shit out of [our guys]”

- “ this shit over.. get your ass in gear.. fucking kid!.. fucking kid!.. fucking soldier, but you're a fucking kid.. hell with L. ..Who the hell.. little fuckers.. joined the friggin’ army.. so he would stop thinking I was a faggot.. fucking trained for.. fucking trained for..”

- “kept shooting at the bodies even though they were already dead.. What the fuck happened?.. What we hadn’t done to the village [the chopper] did. It leveled the huts.. mostly women and old men, running for their lives. Few of them made it more than a few feet as the chopper guns swept everything..”

- “..fucking each other up.. same shit.. Tortured? They tie them to trees and pull their guts out.. just leave them there.. found them.. still alive and begging for somebody to kill them.”

- “..asshole for bringing his wife and kid to Nam.. What the fuck.. asked W. if he had been having intimate relations with.. a snake or lizard.. Go fuck yourself!.. try to have sex with a Vietnamese girl before we got back to the states.. Bullshit.. Don’t mean shit.. What the fuck.. need his ass kicked.. fucking chopper.. Asshole.. frag your ass.. fucking medic.. Light shit.. kick your LT’s ass.. Oh, shit.. love the shit out of her.. bodies lying all around, the smell of blood and puke and urine.. fucking rock.. cut a baby’s head off.. How the hell do you kill a friggin’ baby?.. Like a trip to friggin’ hell.. protect your ass from muggers and shit.. protect your ass.. started firing the [rifle] in his face. I emptied the clip. I snatched another one.. was no face. Just an angry mass of red flesh.. eyebll dangled from one side of the head.. masses of different-colored flesh. The white parts were the worst. .. tooth, a bit of skull. I vomited.”

- “2 VC came out.. hands up.. woman from the village.. stabbed one in the side of the head. He tried to get the knife away from her and 2 guys lit him up. His body jerked around like rag puppet being dragged by a dog.”

- “Get the fuck away.. shit going on.. crazy-ass.. What the fuck.. sticks.. covered with shit, either human or animal shit, so when they stuck you, you got infected.. scared shit.. off the fucking hill.. How the fuck you doing?.. fucking rain and mud.. shitting in this shit.. needed a grenade up his ass.. P. opened his pants and told him to check his crotch.. niggers of this outfit.. watch on our asses.. faggot.. Fuck you, P. .There you go with them promises again.. black ass.. What the fuck.. kill his ass twice.. “

- “..caught woman with 2 children.. started slapping her around.. let her go.. followed her to edge of camp.. handed one of the kids to a guy.. arms and legs flung apart.. damn kid had been mined, had exploded in his arms.. woman running across the paddy.. fold backward as the automatic fire ripped her nearly apart. I saw part of her body move in one direction, and her legs in another.. woman’s other child.. was gunned down.”

- “L’s a faggot.. even ask me if he was a faggot.. talk that shit... don’t care what he doing in bed.”

- “..this shit.. What the fuck’s.. Shit.. fucking weapon.. still pissing your pants when I was kicking ass.. ain’t no fucking war.. shit.. Shit.. “

- “Do something for him!.. He your friend? Yeah.. Then you do it.. [we] stood and walked out. A moment later we heard the shot. We went back in and piled the bodies back up on the guy.. got a flame thrower and we moved away from the hut. the smell of burning flesh came quickly.”

- “We fired at them, and fired at them, and fired at them. Bodies once alive, then lifeless, seemed to live again as the bullets tore into the dead flesh and made it dance.. A Cong.. was lying on top of a pile of bodies.. chest and stomach were open.. tubes and organs and the redness of working parts that no longer worked.. I looked. It was a soldier.. bottom of one leg was off.. flesh from the thigh was off too. The white twisted bone angled out oddly from the hip. His eyes were open.. the teeth bared.. hands were around the neck of a NVA soldier.. The GI had killed him from the other side of death”

- “What the fuck.. What the fuck.. lay this shit on.. the shit was right.. all that shit.. shit like that.. know that shit.. Fucking A.. grenade up your butt..”

- “.dudes collecting ears from dead Congs and wearing them around their necks.. nothing to mess with a Cong once he dead.. cut the mother’s ears off while he still alive and kicking-then you doing something.. let some of these carbon tet fumes out before we’re all high..”

- “..was a splash and a figure. It looked.. as if he were standing in the water, masturbating.. J. opened up and blew him away. Reeds! M. shouted. They’re in the water... shit was real.. Keep your asses down.. Where the fuck’s the fire coming from.. keep quiet and shoot the shit out of anything that comes near us.. backing into a Cong spider hole.. Bullshit it was cool... I got to shit... We were both just a glance from dying, and he had to shit and it was just so damn funny.. The Cong was dead... The smell of death filled our small grave.. body growled and let of gases.. He was a damned kid.. ”

- “.. Ain’t shit.. been in this shit too long man..”

- In Fairfax County Public School Elementary and Middle School Library System

- On Fairfax County Public Schools Summer 2001 Suggested Reading List For Rising Ninth and Tenth Graders

- The 36th most challenged book of the 1990’s



Jannes, Aylette
Houghlin Mifflin Company
Approx. 47 pages
Copyright 1990

See for excerpts


"Fools Crow"

Welch, James
Viking Penguin Inc.
Copyright 1986

- “He had never touched the body of a woman. His friends teased him and called him a dog-lover. His friends often took girls into the bushes, especially if they had plenty of the white man’s water. U.B. had humped to girls of the Entrails People .... he said they were the best because they whispered to you.”

- “As he watched her body arch back and forth over the skin, he forgot about the berry soup. He felt his penis begin to stiffen..... Her.. braids just brushed the tips of her breasts as she worked.”

- “After awhile I took my hand from the girl’s mouth but she lay there with her eyes closed. I felt under the robe and she was naked and her skin was hot. I felt her breasts and belly and they were hot and damp.... she was naked and sweating. .... I found her there between the legs and entered her - not without some difficulty , for she was on the verge of becoming a woman. When I had my pleasure, I rolled away, and that’s when it hit me...... I pulled back the robe and looked at her. There on her face and chest were the dreaded signs. I had copulated with one who was dying of white-scabs disease.”

- “[He] looked down at R.P. her loose dark hair fell down around her shoulder....... He was awed by the power of their lovemaking, and as he looked down at her neck and shoulder and was filled with desire. .... reached for and fondled her breasts.”

- “She was slender but her breasts and hips were round. She [dove in water] ..W. began rigid with desire for her. ...he wanted to lay her down in the white grass. ...he began to take off his clothes... the woman turned and looked at him...She made no attempt to cover herself. .... You may lie with me, if you like. ..they lay down...together...covered her breasts with his hands and pressed his mouth to her slender neck. ..She moved beneath him and pulled him down....”

- “..he saw a look of shock on L.M.’s face as a Crow knife was plunged into his stomach. A girl of not more than 3 winters stood crying, holding her bloody fingers to her mouth.... he heard a voice behind him. Take his hair son [his father said]... he dropped to his knees... took the hair in his left hand and made a slice across the top of the forehead. then he began skinning the scalp back as though he were dressing a deer. At the last cut, the head fell limply forward, the white patch of bone glistening...”

- “The story of how F.C. had killed and scalped the man who mutilated y.k. was even more embellished. Now F.C. had made the man cry, had laughed and spit on him, had made love to his wife, then killed him and stuffed his bloody genitals in his mouth.”

- “As for women, there were enough who hung around the forts. and there was the Napikan woman with the yellow hair. She had fought good for a while, but after the first night away from her people she had settled down. ...even the hair of her sex was light...[he] could not forget the yellow kinky hair of her center....After the second day they released the naked woman, but bt then she didn’t seem to care where she was or what she was going to do. F.H. shifted in the saddle to accomodate his stiffening penis. He would get another Napikan woman, this time one who wasn’t so fat.”

- “He must have learned it from that fat white woman.....Ah, she was good... She taught me many things.....Perhaps you should go to the white man’s school. They teach you to sit off the ground. That way you know where your ass is....This one wants another white woman... He says they are better than his hand, even better than his dog! ... And when you kill this Napikan you will feel better? I have thought how I will kill him, little by little. I will cut of little pieces....”

- “He had made M.C. pay. He had killed him in his own house. The sight of [him] lying in his own blood, his women screaming in the other room, had filled O.C. with great pleasure. It should have been enough but it wasn’t.”

- “As first she had screamed and screamed when she saw F.H. standing over her husband, emptying his rifle into the limp body. [They] held her while S. slapped her face and ripped her dress down to the waist....clubbed her below the ear with his fist and she fell to the ground, her last scream caught in her throat....dragged her inside the small cabin, shutting the door on the two children, who held each other and sobbed. When she came out she did not try to cover herself up. she did not scream. She did not seem to notice [the children] ....O.C. looked at her and felt nothing at all. Her upper lip had puffed, and there was a long scratch below her left breast. ...C.T. drew his finger across his throat. C.H. was drinking out of a jug. Perhaps they should kill the woman... best not to leave a witness. And she is ugly................[They drove] the horses out of the corral...watched F.H. study the red hair in his hands... F.H. was not happy. He had wanted the the Napikwan to die more, piece by piece. he had been cheated by his own rage. .... Sonofabitch...He had done it too fast.”

- “She tried to recall exactly how it happened...but all she could remember was being shoved down .... and the feeling of his cold fingers inside of her. She had struggled, but he had forced her back with his forearm........ It wasn’t until the next morning that the shock wore off and she felt a warmth in her thighs. She felt her heart beat fast and realized that she wanted a man of her own, wanted him more than anything she could imagine. And she would go back again, and again, for as long as he wanted her.”

- “she stood just inside the entrance, her legs trembling......R.F. held the robe back. He was naked from the waist down.....she slipped beneath the robe. He sat up and pushed her dress around her waist. He undid her leggings and pulled her moccasins off. ...she pulled him down and felt his warmth growing against her thigh. His fingers stroked her.... and she gave herself to him.”

- “...she recalled the sounds of their lovemaking. She had stood outside the tipi...3 paces from where they carried on. She had felt her own legs grow weak, as though each moan and cry were her own. She had closed her eyes and imagined that she could see them, could smell the juices of their coupling.”

- “He had found.... some pictures. I’ll give you this and you give me that finger ring. There is a white woman here that will make you squirt.”

- In Fairfax County Public School Elementary School Library System


"From The Notebooks Of Melanin Sun"

Woodson, Jacqueline

See for information/excerpts


"Gates of Fire"

Pressfield, Steven
Copyright 1998

- Extremely graphic descriptions of violence

- “..told me later I had uttered (a word) which meant fuck (in their tongue) and they had laughed even as they dragged my shattered body…”

- “…you little shit”

- “..there was liquid shit on the inside of his thighs.”

- “Feast day had come for the crows and ravens. They went for the eyes first. They peck a man’s asshole out..”

- “They had enough of blood for now….gave us bodies….sponged the mud and blood off my mother’s corpse..”

- “When the (funeral) hymn (for his mother) was over they raped her (his cousin, a young girl)…..Two men…then two more…and the last pair….both her thighs dark with blood.”

- “..Ball Player… had stuffed in hide the skull of an Argive he had slain, and now kicked about with him…If we catch you .. here again.. we’ll cut out your liver..”

- “I got caught stealing a goose…..The men..nailed me to a …board …driving tanning spikes through both my palms….screaming in agony…after lunch they would castrate me .. and hang my testicles upon the gate..”

- “T. kept taking the (whipping)… you could see tissue and fascia, ribcage and muscle and even the spine……Blood was sheeting from his mouth, nose and ears..”

- “Shut your pipehole, you …shitworm…girls tore my rags and poked at my privates, the boys pissed on me…I was trying to tear my hand through the spikes…fucking thief….my hands came away with the tanning nails still through them.”

- “It hit (him) right below the nose…smashed the fellows teeth, blew right through the bone of the jaw and into his throat… with the grip sticking out before his face.. It didn’t even slow this dick-stroker down…drove the blade end … into his guts.. (then) spike right through his groin .. into the ground, nailing him there….. my brother hacked half the top of his head off… He still got up… Zeus Almighty (my brother cried) and it was not a curse but .. a piss-down-your-leg prayer… (brothers squire) put two .. needles through …. (his) liver and out his back and added one for good measure right where the man’s fruit hung….. I realized later that half my skull was showing through…face a mass of blood and the whole right side of my beard and chin had been hacked off.”

- “..not even .. bum-fucked shitworm would (do that)”

- “ miserable mound of shit….better fucking well be afraid of me. I’ll put my dick in your right ear, pull it out your left…”

- “The youths knew what was coming next. Tree fucking……They would fuck that tree for all they were worth…The tree is the enemy. Fuck the enemy.”

- “Each boys face was a sheet of blood…What (are you) doing buttfuck? ….Who the fuck told you you had a right to see?”

- “..these sheep-stroking sons of whores would do tree-fucking..”

- “The three front ranks fuck or mill the enemy.”

- “He appointed me the herd’s Chief Ass Wiper… (don’t want to be) handing the king a shit-caked goat….make that puckerhole spotless…..Bung Boy…These assholes are your academy..”

- “He had just got his …. illicit wench pregnant.”

- “To plunge a spear, blade-deep, into a man’s guts is like fucking, only better. You like to fuck, don’t you? …Killing a man is like fucking…. Instead of giving life you take it…experience the ecstasy of penetration as your warhead enters the enemy’s belly and the shaft follows. You see the whites of his eyes roll….Is your dick hard yet? …..What? You’ve got your spear in a man’s guts and your dog isn’t stiff? What are you, a woman? … You feel the foe’s beating heart upon your iron and you rip it forth, twisting as you pull. A sensation of joy surges up the ash of your spear, through your hand and… into your heart….. You feel like God at that moment…. That of dealing death, of loosing another man’s soul and sending it down to hell. You want to savor it, to twist the blade deeper and pull the man’s heart and guts out upon the iron point of your spear..”

- “Mankind…is a boil and a canker….is weak, greedy, craven, lustful, prey to .. vice and depravity. He will lie, steal, cheat, murder, (etc.).. God in his mercy has provided a counterpoise to our species’ innate depravity. That gift… is war. War, not peace, produces virtue. War, not peace, purges vice. War (calls) forth all that is noble and honorable…….in the holy mill of murder … men ay seek (that) which shines forth brilliant and virtuous, worthy of honor…. Do not despise war…”

- “..hauling forth the young boys, herding the handsomest together and castrating them for eunuchs, killing every man and raping the women, selling them into foreign slavery. The babies’ heads …(Persians) dashed against the walls, splattering their brains upon the paving stones.”

- “What is that between your legs, M., a turnip? You speak like a man with balls the size of chickpeas.”

- “established a two-woman brothel…. known as the Sanctuary of Aphrodite Fallen or the two-holer …”

- Many page vivid description of gory violent battle, such as : “The earth grew, not littered with enemy bodies, but piled with them. Stacked with them. Mounded with them…..enemys’ skull split like melon….spray-blasted with blood……the skull toppled..severed from its torso …with the marrow gushing….. couldn’t haul the weapon back out, so he broke it right off, planting his foot on the still-living enemy’s belly…, now sodden with blood and piss and the unholy fluids which had spilled from the entrails of the slain and butchered, lay churned in places to the depth of a man’s calf…shield acquired a grisly encrustment of blood and dirt, mud and excrement, fragments of tissue, flesh, hair and gore… wave of Asiatic ass-fuckers …know only.. have advanced against us wearing their testicles and come back without them….has conjured his own head cleaved at the neck, his guts spilling into the dirt and his own cock and balls brandished before him on a ..spear….The stink of blood and death rose…

- “..Donkeydick (woke) the merchant..brandishing before his slumber-dazed eyes a prodigious erection.”

- Cousin tells him of her abortion after rape in which she hemorrhaged and almost died.

- “…why I’m out here on this ass-fucked errand.”

- “…so fucking stupid..”

- “..if a river snake crawled up my ass and gave birth to quintuplets..”

- “…javelin drove powerfully through the apple of the man’s throat that its point burst ..through the neck and out the spine, its ash extending crimson, half an arm’s length beyond…..tearing (it) out…brought half the man’s windpipe out with it.

- “..(they) emerged from some kind of bedchamber, spearpoints dripping in blood..Fucking priests! D. shouted…. ….tore the first servant’s throat out with his bare hands and caved in the second’s skull with a lamp still aflame……….. blow..took A’s hand off right at the wrist….wrist now spraying bright blood…”


"Geography Club"

Hartinger, Brent
Harper Collins
Approx. 226 pages
Copyright 2002

See for excerpts

- In Fairfax County Public Middle School Library System


"Girl Goddess #9"

Block, Francesca Lia
Joanna Colter Books
181 pages, large print
Copyright 1996

- 9 short stories, somewhat higher reading level than the usual 4/5th grade level by the author

-from Blue: “..found her father sitting in the dark drinking from a bottle of whiskey.. unshaven face with red eyes... She [her mom] figured a way out... L. remembered the blood in the bathtub... lose so much blood and be alive... this time L. had not been there to come in and see the blood and save her... She killed herself.”

-“The closet door opened and.... creature [named Blue] came into the light... bluish skin... Why are you here.. To be your friend.”

-“..L. saw him walking with his arm around Chelsea... They are so beautiful L. told Blue.. you sound like you have a crush on both of them Blue [said].. I just don’t know if you like girls or boys... You should talk. I think you don’t even know if your a girl or a boy... L. ...looked at herself in the mirror... wearing a white undershirt and her nipples showed through. her breasts were very small, almost nonexistent.”

-“Take off your clothes, said L. [to Blue]... Blue unbuttoned the pajama top. Blue had little breasts. So you are a girl L. said. She stared at Blue’s breasts which were really quite beautiful, smaller versions of what Chelsea Fox’s bare breasts might have looked like. Blue slipped out of the pajama bottoms. Oh! L. said Blue was not just a girl. Blue was both.”

-“She heard the closet open She held her breath. Her father was standing there holding an empty bottle of whiskey. He put his arm around a sheer black dress with pink roses on it.”


-from Dragons in Manhattan: My name is T [about 12 years old] . I live with Izzy and Anastasia... I am so much like both of them that I never think about which one is my mom. They are both my mom.”

-“No, T, sweetie, Izzy says. it’s a pretty new thing. Once no one died from having sex.”

-“He said I had 2 moms and no dad.... I knew I had a dad.. wasn’t proud of [my mom’s] anymore... No other kid at my school lived with 2 women who slept in the same bed and kissed on the lips all the time. No one else got picked up from school by a 6-foot tall woman in a beaded mini-dress holding hands with a short haired woman with a pierced nose and leather pants.”

-“The Pink Gingerbread, San Francisco. Where T was conceived... I knew I had a father.. he had once stayed at the Pink Gingerbread... and that he had made love to my mom there... I stole cash... bought a plane ticket.. took a cab to JFK... scary looking men tried to get me into cars with them but... I ran into the terminal... got on plane to SF... wanted a dad who didn’t see a shrink, who didn’t dress up in crazy clothes and perform in stage shows, who didn’t work at a bar, whose best friends weren’t dying from AIDS.”

-After search around SF and LA finds out that one of her moms is her dad who had a sex change operation after conceiving her.

-Goes back to NYC: “This is the story Izzy told me about how I was born.... had known for as long as he could remember that he wanted to be a girl... girl inside of him, waiting... biggest problem was that even though [he] felt like a girl inside he didn’t love boys. He knew there were some boys in his school who loved boys and he wished he were like them... He wanted to be a girl and he wanted to love girls.... A. [later Anastasia] looked into his sad eyes and said I’m gay.... [he] told A that he wanted to be a woman and that he was in love with her... took a trip to the Pink Gingerbread and [he] made love to A for the first and only time [as a man], so that they could have a baby. After that they went to Europe and [he] had the [sex change] operation.”


-from Girl Goddess #9:” the end all his limbs started coming off. it looked so real that we couldn’t believe it was a mannequin that was being dismembered..”

-“..we are re-publishing the original interview with the tattooed-love-god, nick.. wild demon boy... they say all kinds off shit... i’ve been called a satanist, a vampire, a sadomasochist, a junkie, a fag, a pervert, a freak... i want to create something that will take you into the fuckin’ solar system.... i don’t want to promote drugs. let me put it to you this way, my body can handle a whole lo of shit. my veins are like gold- plated... my gut is like a crystal cave... What would you say are the qualities that you look for in a lover? ..i like doing it in fountains. woman is a goddess. someday the fucked-up patriarchy will start to value woman. i like someone who makes you feel like they could murder you 1 minute-i mean, all the way, slit your throat - and the next they are nursing you like you are a little baby... at this time the door opens and standing there is - her! it’s the white goddess herself, like in Nick’s album... this is Celeste [he] says.. goes over to her and gets down on his knees in front of her... she touches the top of his head like she’s giving him a blessing... and starts laughing... emily, are you tasty? celeste asks. she looks at nick... are they tasty? he giggles. i’m not hungry, she says... on the way home.. hold each other and sob. they are crying because nick.. not only is taken.. because they want to touch her hair and skin and toenails more than they have even wanted to touch the thin, hard, pale, greek-statue body of nick..”


-from Rave:”...I always called her Rave.. dressed so cool.. her stuff must have cost someone a fortune -- or a lot of someones... limo would drop her off [at high school]... walk past the stares like she was on a runway... she felt like shit about it though.”

-“When I was a kid my mom got me into this all-kid rock band... I hated it but my mom wouldn’t let me quit. I made her a fortune and she spent the whole fucking thing by the time I was 13. ...really feel like shit... My mom would kill me if she knew how much pot I smoke [now], and the cigarettes and the drinking.”

-“She was super-groupie who went to concerts and hung out and slept with rock stars who bought her clothes and sent her home in limos.”

-“We’d.. go and get high... raid refrigerator. always Diet Coke... Sometimes we mixed rum with it... messed around with her Ouija board... I’d look at them [signed poster of rock gods] and inhale the smoke from the joint really hard. The men on her walls were tall with bulging tight pants... I wanted to tell Rave to stop screwing around with those assholes... When she talked about them she got this look in her eyes... totally in a trance, transfixed.. she called them her gigs like she was playing, but it meant she was going to hang out until the lead singer took her home.”

-“..she asked me to rub some lotion on her.. Much softer [skin] than anything. it was hard to imagine that many men touching it.. I said, You’re so soft, and she said I have a special beauty secret. Rock star body fluids.”

-“I’m a son of a bitch, I said..”

-“she had a g-string bikini bottom and so all of her was in my hands with no material between us.. I didn’t kiss her. ...was afraid of hurting this mermaid who shouldn’t have had to walk around in this fucked-up city... Wanting something from her as much as those guys that could at least give her cloths and hotel rooms with flower arrangements... and champagne drinks for breakfast.”

-“..Rave went to a show and stood at the front... wearing a tight shiny.. dress.. lead singer saw her.. after the show she slipped backstage.. [he] signed his name on her poster and then on her arm.. she told him it was her 15th birthday and that she only wanted one thing. he put her in his limo and fed her drinks and drugs in some hotel room...”

-“I’m in my 20’s now.... It’s been years now, she [old girlfriend] told me. [Rave] o.d.’d on heroin when she was 17... wish I could have swum just once in the sea of her.. tears where all the rock stars should have drowned.”


-from The Canyon:”she smoked cigarettes.. pulled up her shirt to look at her breasts..... lay by the condo pool, peeking under their bikinis to admire the contrast of the tiny white place hidden there... Almost every night [they] went to a teen dance club... taking Quaaludes with their Diet Cokes when the devil Dogs swaggered in... D was not afraid. She walked over to where they sat... asked for a cigarette... all 3 of them looked at her... Dobey took out a cigarette and gave it to her... later in the parking lot where everyone hung out--drunk, high... Dobey came to her... you going to see Armed Force saturday... handed her a matchbook with his name and number..”

-“D went with the devil Dogs to the gig... sat in front and R and B sat in back drinking beers... [stopped at] the liquor store.. for more beer.... they took turns standing with D and lighting her cigaretes... Dobey was kissing her and running his hands up her skirt inside her black-lace underwear... he released the seat. You okay? She nodded. All taken care of? yes, don’t worry, she said, pulling his neck down... he unbuttoned his Levi’s and pushed himself between her legs. She felt a salty, stinging fullness.”

-“The next night, D heard someone knocking at her window.. he smelled of salt and pot.. Dobey straddled her, easing her down on the small bed... started kissing her and biting her neck, and she held onto his shoulders... After he came, he fell asleep,..”

-talking about D’s mom: ”she is totally fucked up, Dobey said, touching the yellow-and-violet bruises on D’s arms a few nights later. They were lying in her bed... I think she’s just freaked since my dad left. She freaks when she sees me with guys, D said.”

-“Surfing was easy if she thought of it as being inside her own body when Dobey was making love to her... sometimes they got drunk under the boardwalk,..”

-“what a bitch!”

-“..they stopped at Frederick’s of Hollywood where D tried on purple-lace lingerie and let all the Devil Dogs look into the dressing room, although she pretended she thought it was just Dobey who saw... shotgunned beers.. drove home... wasted and bleeding... In the Valley they slept..”

-“She and Dobey were lying in her bed..”

-“..standing by the keg.. Where’s your boyfriend? Debby asked, all eye-lashes and cleavage and beer.. What’s it like sleeping with a nigg... a black man? ...You know what they say about black guys... You know, they say..”

-“the window opened. Dobey slid into the room. You scared the fuck out of me, she said.”

-“D swallowed mouthfuls of beer.... beer bottle crashed and shattered... Bull yelled, Fuck!... She took [Dobey’s] hands and pulled him to her, wrapping her legs around his torso.”


-from Pixie and Pony:”..thrown out of the prom... Romeo who is older, buys champagne... go to Mini’s house.. Mini’s mother is out.. sit in the Jacuzzi guzzling champagne... Snack and Mini pass out in the living room. Leonard and Pixie have wham-bam sex in Mini’s mom’s round bed under the mirrored ceiling. Pixie feels where there will be bruises on her thighs tomorrow. Romeo tells Pony he has to get home. Leonard leaves a little later.”

-“Romeo is a shithead, says Pixie.”

-“Maybe if her Dad weren’t sick or at least if Leonard had kissed her on the mouth or something, she wouldn’t care so much.”


-from Winnie and Cubby:”Winnie was drunk on keg beer.. Winnie’s dad was killed when she was 12.. just her and her mom and whatever new boyfriend her mom brought home that night.”

-“..driving home from a party drunk and her mom’s car spun out and careened across the street..”

-“Tell me about your dad. He’s a bastard.. He’d back up the car to the edge of a cliff with me in the backseat. I was like 3. he’d just crack up when I screamed... told me we were going to Europe. He packed my bags and everything. I think I was 5. All I really wanted.. was to go to Europe... He dressed me up and we went to the airport, right to the gate. and then he starts laughing and saying it was just a joke... he beat me up too. he broke my arm once.... we can be each other’s dad’s. They were also each other’s moms..”

-“..won the “Cutest Couple” in the school yearbook... drive to San Francisco the day school gets out... went [to a] tiny Japanese restaurant. A line of people were drinking beers out of paper bags.. waiting to get in... Cubby asked 2 handsome men in very soft-looking sweaters if they would purchase some beer... men smiled... went to the liquor store... handed the 2 paper beers to Cubby.. gave cubby his change.. I think the big ones cost more than that... It’s okay said the man, looking into Cubby’s eyes.. [Winnie] shivered as the cold, dark beer poured out of the glass into her mouth. She felt her whole body soften.”

-“After dinner they walked along Market Street... packs of men everywhere... [went into] a leather store.. Winnie tried on black leather shorts but her zipper got stuck. Cubby had to come into the dressing room to help her... slim man with the pierced eyebrow... grinned at Chubby and said, Why don’t you take a look downstairs... basement.. full of spiked things, rubber things, leather things that Winnie had never seen or even heard of before.”

-“someone had told them that if you ate poppy seeds your blood would test positive for drugs. They liked to pretend the cake made them high.”

-“The most beautiful people are the ones that don’t look like one race or even one sex, Cubby said. Winnie thought about this.. she knew she looked like a boy. She thought that cubby’s eyes and lips made him look prettier than she did sometimes.”

-“they found a smoky bar.. crowded with guys in low-slung jeans.... guys dresses as women in feathers and sequins watched them. A beautiful black blond in white satin winked at Cubby.. i think that angels are like that, Winnie said admiring a redhead in a green sequined g-string.... so beautiful. More beautiful than men or women.. from another world... Why is it that the ideal women’s legs only come on men? Winnie said, admiring some shimmering thighs and calves. beautiful men-women. Legs. Lips. Sparkle spangles.”

-“..they jumped on the bed... Winnie threw her arms around Cubby and pushed him down on his back. She kissed him. ..his body felt cold and rigid... she tried to stroke his thigh but he shifted away from her. What’s wrong?.... I like guys. I’ve always liked guys. i kept waiting for it to stop.... just this feeling. i can’t make it stop... How can you tell me this? Winnie screamed. her own voice scared her. I’m your girlfriend.. [Cubby leaves the hotel].. All night she sat huddled in the bed... She really did look like a boy.. wondered if Cubby had pretended she was a boy when he kissed her. She wondered if her breasts made him sick. She hated herself. late it was early, Winnie heard the door and opened her eyes. She saw Cubby come into the dark room.. What happened? Winnie whispered. I went to a bar and danced with some guys. Was it okay? Yes.... Can I sleep next to you? he whispered...Winnie felt the sheets stir as his warm body climbed into bed...hugged each other... like little children, until they fell asleep.”


-from Orpheus:”J died last winter... tonite , I’m at the club where J and I used to hang... looking at the man sitting across from me... he held me all nite in bed.. I left before the sun came up.... got kinda sick... I’ve never wanted anyone that much... He’s as fucked up as I am. Can you imagine the 2 of us together? Fucking each other up... psychic i went to said ‘soul mates’. J once said ‘sex’, and then, when it didn’t stop -- ‘voodoo.’”

-“..beautiful whores floating above in glowing red windows... smoke hash as rich as black chocolate.”

-“ like we are making love, make love like we are dancing... maybe I will go home with him tonite... But now his girl comes over. I’ve seen her before. She was in this video for some punk band. She was naked and slaughtering the lead singer... looked so real.”

- In Fairfax County Public School Elementary and Middle School Library System

- Author of a number of gay theme/coming out books that have been challenged in a number of libraries and schools: Baby Be-Bop, Cherokee Bat and the Goat Guys, I was a Teenage Fairy, Weetzie Bat, Witch Baby, etc.


"Go Ask Alice"


See for information/excerpts


"Going After Cacciato"

O’Brien, Tim

See for excerpts

See for additional excerpts/review


"Growing Up Chicana/o"

Lopez, Tiffany Ana
Avon Books, Inc
Approx. 300 pages
Copyright 1993 by Bill Adler Books; Intro copyright 1993 by Rudolph Anaya

- A Collection of Short Stories

- Forward by Rudolph Anaya, who wrote Bless Me, Ultima

- “A. ...would scream that if I didn’t go to mass every Sunday to save my goddamn sinning soul, then I had no reason to go out of the house... sisters would pull me aside and tell me if I didn’t get to mass right this minute, they were all going to kick the holy shit out of me..”

- “ smelled of Pine Sol and vomit and A. had defecated the remains of her cancerous stomach... I toweled her puzzled face... toweled her shoulders and breasts.. towel the creases of her stretch-marked stomach, her sporadic vaginal hairs, and her sagging thighs... noticed a birthmark on the fold of her buttock... she was not as heavy as I thought... stepped into the bathtub one leg first.. descend[ed] into the water slowly so I wouldn’t scald her skin... Her hair fell back and spread across the water like eagle’s wings.”


- “..sad bastards did not know what the hell they were laughing about.”


- “.. she’ll make you say 10 Hail Mary’s. T. laughed... You’re really scared of that old bitch... Shit, she don’t scare me... I’m not s-scared of her. Bullshit!.. Who cares what Sister Katherine thinks, she can go to hell.”

- “And why are you late [T.]? ..Because I don’t give a damn about this class. In a blur Sister K.’s hand rose.. came down with brutal force against T.’s mouth. It rose again and came down with even more force; it came down again and again-the whacking sound of slaps filled the classroom, and every child witnessing the beating felt fear wash over his heart. ..Sister K.’s hand drew blood from inside T.’s mouth.. was in shock... tears began to roll down his cheeks. Sister K. slapped him until his knees buckled and he fell.. to the floor.”

- “..dream.. troubled him. ..taking a test.. when Sister K. walked in wearing an ebony-black habit... hate gleaming in her eyes, and with an emerald-studded crucifix she began beating him over the head. He took the beating for hours.. he would awaken screaming..”

- “No shit?”

- “He saw several girls, dressed up... twice he pumped his pellet gun and shot one of them.. There was yelling and hysterical tears; he sneaked into his room... and as he sat on the bed, he laughed and experienced a happiness he had never thought possible.”

- “Some nights he would lay wake devising ways of getting even with Sister K. ..T. had once called her a dyke. He did not know what that word meant; but if he could prove she was a dyke, maybe he could cause Sister K. some pain

- yes, pain

- and he wanted that ugly, disturbed woman to feel pain.”

- “A. hung up the phone... could not believe he had been talking to Sister K. What was that damn dyke up to? Was she so cruel that she had to call him up to ruin his holiday, punish him even more?... she called you too?... Yeah... I wonder why... wanted to wish everybody a Holy Christmas. What bunch of shit. That’s what I thought... probably drunk on cheap wine. Every nun and priest drinks on Sunday afternoons. They have orgies in the rectory, you can hear them yelling and screaming.”

- “You know that every nun is mean. They ain’t ever had a man so they go a little crazy. Do you know what my dad says?.. A nun is a woman that ain’t had none.”

- “Did you write your poem?.... It’s about a bird, a stupid bird that wakes me up every morning with his goddamn singing... Shit, I don’t care what people think about my poetry..”

- “The change [for the better in Sister K.] was so drastic.... Sister K. had gone crazy. He had read that some woman, after living without a man for so many years, finally lose their grip on reality.. go on for months like they were the happiest creatures in the world [then] plunge into a deep and irreparable depression... he waited for Sister K. to ‘plunge’. He hoped he would be there when the dark side of happiness swept her off her feet and into an asylum.”

- “..the nuns stood outside.. talking.. a joyous smile hung on Sister K.’s face as she looked at Sister E. They spoke for long impassioned moments... they kissed. A. lost his breath, what was that all about? Why had they kissed? He had never seen 2 woman do that.. wasn’t a deep kiss.. yet there was something different about the kiss..... wouldn’t believe me. I saw Sister K. and Sister E. kiss... Nuns kiss all the time... but this kiss was different... What’s a dyke?... It means that a woman is a queer, a fag. What’s a fag?... A fag is a queer, somebody who likes their own sex. For instance, if a girl likes going to bed with other girls, that makes her a fag, a dyke, a lesbo. Sister E. is a fag. Don’t talk crazy. She’s too pretty. If she kissed Sister K. that should make her fag... If anybody is a fag, it’s that bull-dyke, Sister K.... Haven’t you noticed how Sister K. has changed ever since Sister E. arrived. I bet they’re in love... I can prove it. You’re just asking for trouble. Yeah, nobody wants faggot nuns teaching in this school... Would they kick a nun out for being a dyke? Sure they would.... here was his chance for revenge.. She’ll pay for making me miserable, she will.. A. felt 10 feet tall; a giddy excitement stirred..”

- A. talks his way into rectory and sneaks around, spies on the nuns: “Sister K. looked about... took hold of Sister E.’s hand. She fondled it and touched the fingertips; she ran her nails over the soft palm... We shouldn’t behave like this Sister E. said. Why not?.. No one comes here in the morning. What if someone did? It wouldn’t bother me.. We would probably be excommunicated. God would still love us. You’ve got to understand how you’ve changed me so. Before, I maltreated the children. I was bitter, angry... I’m.. frightened. Don’t be. Both... were radiant.. transformed them from nuns to human lovers. They kissed deeply. A. shuddered... get away.. backed up... My son, wait. The priest... Did you need something?... 2 nuns were in the garden kissing... 2 lesbians are in the rectory making love. Love. Do you understand? ‘N-No, I haven’t any q-questions’.. Running out the door, into the sunlight... sat there for hours.. sobbed... sighed.. held his breath.... He knew a secret. He would never forget. Love changes everyone... even Sister K.”


- “Did you hear [them] fighting last night? Did you know he left? My neighbors were omniscient bastards! It was the worse one yet. He had to go. She divorced him, and he didn’t even know... My tears streamed silently. He had to go. The police were there.”

- “I’m a child of love, do you hear? I shouted. He used to love her, damn it! He told me once she was like a lily to him on their wedding night. She was the first woman he ever knew, and he knew her for 20 years! 20 years. The tears flowed.”

- “He gazed at her steadily in her.. robe, placed his hands on her hips or breasts occasionally... arranged her red negligee... stepped back to catch the pose... hairdo was perfect, queenly, for this private cheesecake photo session. They didn’t know we sneaked a look..”

- “Yes, yes. Child of love. He lay in their narrow bed and rubbed her inner thighs. They loved each other... He loved my mother! She smiled at him and told us children to go outside and play... My terribly misguided parents had been manwoman once. For 20 years their union had been love/hate. The ultimate scandal last night had been love, too...”


- “..the cowering figure of the king [homeless man], curled up with his hands over his face. The... boys were jabbing him with sticks... Come on, you old wino.... picked up rocks and began to hit the jibbering figure on the ground. Finally someone suggested they drop him from up above. Naw, it might kill him. How ‘bout pissing on him? Hey, let’s get a snake.. the king lifted himself on one knee. The redhead threw another rock... Run, Carlos, run! the king shouted. Shut up! and a large rock hit the old man on the chin. Hey, come on down! another boy yelled. Don’t you wanna hit the devil?”

- For a more information on Growing Up Chicana/o Click Here

- In Fairfax County Public School Middle School Library System

- On Fairfax County Public Schools Summer 2001 Suggested Reading List For Rising Ninth and Tenth Graders

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