Book Titles: A-G

- From Fairfax County Public School library catalog review: "..dark tale about three runaways who understand hatred and violence better than love. Custis, an orphan, is fleeing from his "owner," a producer of pornography and snuff films. Custis is accompanied by Curl, a child prostitute, and her boyfriend, Boobie, who has just murdered his parents and kidnapped his baby brother to sell on the streets. Drawn together more by desperation than friendship, they roam from one town to the next, stealing and scavenging." Excerpts from www.parentsaware.net.

- "On top of everything else, Boobie's got the clap. On Highway 53 he couldn't stop swallowing screams. It got so bad he had to pull over and get out of the car. When I checked on him he was backed up against a telephone pole pouring Gatorade down his pants like some kind of scientist." (page 1)

- "Him and Curl would drop their lines right next to those n_ggers with the straw hats who drove up from Kankakee in the old broken-down cars. Skankakee n_ggers I call them." (page 6)

- "...but then his pops -- this big sucker who looked like a anchorman -- caught me p_ssing in the bushes and called the police."

- "If you ask me, the more names you use, the better chance you got of selling a baby. As long as it's got two eyes and all its fingers and it ain't no n_gger."

- "Curl thinks I got evil in me cuz of Bob Motley -- this fat man who used to own me." (page 7)

- "In Sergeant Dick's room you didn't care about the pit bull smell so much cuz at least you was warm and them Rockdale vagrancy pigs wasn't gonna f_ck with you."

- "...but sometimes that gives you ass failure." (page 8)

- "'Make sure you add some bleach to that water,' one of them ladies said. `Oh, I will,' I promised. `I'll add some bleach.' When they wasn't looking I p_ssed in it. I bleaches up that mop water real good." (page 9)

- "rusty-ass barbecue grill" (page 10)

- "Before I skated me and Bob Motley made like four films together. The best one was called Girl Eats Boy, where Bob Motley puts this black pillow case over his head and pretends like he's cutting me with the electric saw. Then he grinds up my legs in a hamburger maker and feeds me to this little girl who lives under the kitchen sink. The little girl's name was Wendy Sue. She was like seven or some sh_t. I think she belonged to one of Bob Motley's boys, but I ain't sure. One night I pulled her shirt up and stared at her body. She didn't even know it cuz she was sleeping." (page 11)

- "There was all types of stuff in there, like boots and boxes of porno magazines and a electric guitar. There was a shoebox that had DEATH TO ALL WHO MEDDLE on it. I opened it and there was my gat, just waiting for me to take it. It was the blackest thing I ever seen, and as soon as I touched it I got a boner and I knew I wouldn't never be able to let it go."

- "Once, I heard this old, blind sucker at Renfro Park say that if you shoot the right four or five people you'll grow a new life." (pages 12-13)

- "He mostly just hunts little kids. Sometimes he hunts kids who are littler than me. He finds them lost at the mall or stranded down by the Rockdale bus station." "Once Sidekick found this little half-n_gger called Ulysses crying under the big sign at Arthur Treacher's Fish & Chips. Sidekick gave him a pack of Fleer baseball and Ulysses got right in his El Comino like there was about skeighty-eight more packs in the back seat or some sh_t. Sidekick always keeps Tootsie Rolls and Wrigley's Spearmint gum in his pockets too." "They would stick him in Sergeant Dick's room with me, and we would watch Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and he would tell me all the wack sh_t Sidekick was doing to him." "He was a dirty-ass little half-n_gger, too -- a lot dirtier than me. And he wasn't dirty in no dusty way, he was dirty in a skanky way. Like he was always sh_tting his pants and sitting down in it and stuff like that." (pages 14-15)

- "I ain't no f_cking milk carton kid, I'll tell you that right now." "I skated from Bob Motley's duplex after I found out he was gonna put me in this snuff film and how much money they could make and how many hookers they could get and how much hurricane they could buy." (pages 16-17)

- "Sometimes he'd even just stand there and stare at them with his black eyes. He sis it to a n_gger in Lockport once and the n_gger started running away all frantic like his house was burning down and sh_t." (page 18)

- "It's funny, cuz that picture of Jesus makes him look like one of them old homeless suckers you see sh_tting in the bushes at Renfro Park." ".after I got caught p_ssing on the floor in the boy's bathroom. I only did that cuz one of them retarded kids stuck a fan in the toilet and I didn't want to p_ss on it and electrified. They wasn't going to let me come back, but Sister Blister bowed her head and practically frenched them other nun's fat asses so they let me stay." (pages 19-20)

- "I can even read them sex books in Old Man Turpentine's Fun Shop if I go slow and use my finger." (page 21)

- "Before he could get them numbers dialed, Boobie snatched his cell phone and stuck that man square in the eye. He stuck him good too." "That man's eye swolled up so fast he had to sit in his bushes a minute. After he stopped bleeding Boobie made him give us some money and this fancy metal pen from his pocket. But he smashed up that cell phone." "No one goes out there no more, cuz they found some woman under a tree with her head torn off. "Boobie's parents kicked him out after he tried to set their house on fire." (page 22)

- "big-ass migration headaches" "Aunty Frisco's the one who got Curl to trick. After that these old low-water suckers in brown suit started hanging around in the Fun Shop, and one by one they would disappear through the back door and head up the stairs." "Aunty Frisco didn't let Curl have no money, though -- that's how come Curl started tricking on her own. Down in the Fun Shop them lines started getting smaller and smaller. Sometimes Curl would meet her tricks in Old Mon Turpentine's back room. Curl says he was always looking out for her." "Sometimes I'd wake up and watch Curl's and Boobie's shadows moving. Then I'd close me eyes and listen to their voices groaning all hot and slow." (page 25)

- "Afterwards we touched we touched tongues and put some ants in a marshmallow and ate it. Curl says pledges are good cuz they give you reasons to do sh_t." (pages 26-27)

- "The things about babies is they're always grabbing at your tits." (page 28)

- "Before we left I made a hundred and fifty dollars tricking the trumpet player at Arlo's Blues Lounge." "Besides that hundred and fifty dollars that old trumpet player didn't have crap in his pockets but some chump change and a box of Chiclets." (page 30)

- "I didn't even have to do nothing but bend down and blow zeros on his stomach while he masturbated himself. Old men are funny like that." (page 31)

- "He'll walk by the cash register and throw a light bulb over his shoulder so it breaks in the aisle. Then when the checkout girl jumps he'll grab two packs of Basics and a box of Nerds, stuff it all down his pants, and turn around and help sweep up the mess." "He says when those migraines come the only thing that helps is if he floats his hand in warm water. He usually p_sses his pants but it makes the pain go away. I've had to give him one of my things to wear about four times." "Most normal boys would fall out of a thong like a rock in a sock, but Custis is hardly developed yet. He still has that bald little boy package." (page 38)

- "Old Man Turpentine says that Big Tiny was Custis's mom and that they didn't own a piano and that she had this little beard on her chin and that she committed suicide by eating a shaving mirror." (page 39)

- "I would've done him if he didn't fart so much." "I don't mind taking someone out back and putting a smile on his face if he's got something thick in his billfold." "When me and Boobie do it, it's different. Because it's slow and quiet and it makes me cry. And no one's ever done me that cold-blooded before. My job is one thing and my heart is another. Tricking's like being a waitress or sacking groceries. It puts money in your purse. And when that money gets thick, things are usually okay. And you don't have to answer to no one if you don't have a pimp and I don't have one and I don't plan on tricking for one either. "Most pimps wind up either knocking your teeth out or stealing all your money. You have to go solo if you want to get ahead in any real way." "Tricking's better than living in one of those Rockdale juvy hotels, that's for sure." "When I turn sixteen I'll probably start working a club like this one on the east side of Joliet called Harmony." (pages 40-41)

- "I know some girls who bring home two hundred a night doing this thing called lap dancing. All you have to do is rub up against some college boy for a minute while he sits in a chair. You wear high heels and some booty floss and that's it. It's easy work." "My girl Dee lap danced at Harmony for a while. She made so much money she moved to Crown Point, Indiana, and started taking these correspondence courses so she could get a degree in administrative office management." "I would lap dance just to make some profits because there's always the future to plan." (page 42)

- "So the baby keeps grabbing my tits and Boobie expects me to name him something that rich people would like." (page 43)

- "Like those blackbirds are all flying south and my arms keep itching and if I don't turn another trick we're going to run out of money." (page 44)

- "How all you got to do is find a good corner to lean up against- one that hopefully ain't been p_ssed in too many times. (page 51)

- "...but how sometimes it was tricky cuz once them races start it gets too noisy cuz of how them tire screams sound like cats getting f_cked." (page 52)

- "And some of them cars was honking all crazy at us and calling us faggits cuz of how Boobie was holding my hand, but that didn't matter." (page 53)

- "It was either Britney or Pink or that little skinny bitch who can outsing all of them." (page 56)

- "You could hear the water sprinkling and the baby splashing and Curl keeping his hands off her titties, going, 'Quit! Quit you!'" (page 62)

- "big-ass" and "rusty-ass" (page 63)

- "...and kind of rocking back and forth like he was about to p_ss himself." "Who the f_ck are you?" (page 64)

- "You got a gat, and I p_ss nickels." "That sh_t is wack, kid." (page 66)

- "What the f_ck is the macaroni dance?" (page 67)

- "Maybe it's cuz that's the color of mud and dog sh_t." (page 69)

- "They look like somethin' a n_gger would wear." (page 70)

- "Yes you is. Faggit." "I'm not a faggit." "Faggit faggit faggit." "cheap bitches" "His knees was wiggling even faster now, like he was p_ssing in his little checkered underwears." I went, `Don't be such a p_ssy, Bruce.'" "I'm not a p_ssy." (page 71)

- "Then I told him to stop being a p_ssy again and to go and he kept wanting to give me that baseball card with the n_gger on it. He didn't even ask for his phony-ass space gun." (page 72)

- "You could still hear Curl keeping the baby's hands away from her titties." (page 74)

- "...so I started crying like a little bitch." (page 77)

- "He was underneath the bed in his sh_tted diaper." (page 81)

- "big-ass" and "spooky-ass" (page 92)

- "The only time she leaves the can is to sh_t and p_ss." (page 93)

- "...cuz along with them yellow smears under her eyes her p_ss is turning brown." "Back in Rockdale this old skanky sucker who hung out by the water tower called Joey Greenway got brown p_ss and he died like four days later." (page 95)

- "Curl says the best way to learn about humans is by studying babies cuz they ain't been f_cked or starved yet." (page 96)

- "This one Rockdale hippie man called Jerry who hangs out down by the Speedway used to go around saying Jesus was a n_gger and that all them people in the Bible was n_ggers. I told him how Bob Motley says you can't get no halo if you're a n_gger cuz of all that motor oil they put in their hair. Bob Motley said that n_ggers don't got no hearts. He said that their chests is filled with donkey sh_t instead." "...and Boobie always putting green Gatorade down his d_ckhole cuz of his clap." "Sometime I wonder what happened to the little kids who was in the van. They probably got their heads chopped off or some sh_t." (pages 97-98)

- "Curl's lung frost smell is skanking up the van pretty bad. Boobie still does her, though -- even with that yellow crawling under her eyes and her insides dripping all over her dress. It's cuz that love he's got for her is stronger than her lung frost. He won't French her, though, no matter how much Curl begs for it." "I saw her frenching her hand last night like she wished it was Boobie." "I guess that's cool." "When everything's all skanked and the trees is dead and you got a lung frost and the snow keeps falling sideways and you don't got nothing but a sheepskin and a couple of curtains to keep you warm, you can always French your hand." (page 99)

- "bouncing off his black-ass head" (page 105)

- "If it worked I'd shoot your old creaky-ass." "And then the n_gger pulls my other hand out of my pocket and he looks at it." "He goes, `You know you got frostbite?'" "I just pull it back and go, `That's cuz I stuck it in your mama's p_ssy." (page 108)

- "shiney-ass" (page 111)

- "...and how I got snow all up in my crack and sh_t." "I felt like crying, too, but I ain't no little bitch so I didn't." (page 113)

- "It's funny how babies only cry when they're hungry or they gotta sh_t." (page 115)

- "...he sh_tted his diaper again." (page 117)

- "Don't be no little bitch." "Curl, Curl, wake up you dumb hooker!" (page 119)

- "I think it's cuz of the way her arms is all stretched out and skinny and how naked she is and how her little titties is all swollen and pointy like they never growed right." (page 126)

- "Bob Motley says if you tell a n_gger your name that he'll steal it and use it if he gets busted by the pigs. I still don't know how old his lopsided ass is. The last thing I need is for him to get busted f_cking a dog or some sh_t and then give the pigs my name. Bob Motley says that all n_ggers f_ck dogs and sheep and that their d_cks got hooks on the end." (pages 132-133)

- "...even though Seldom kept saying them prayers, I thought maybe God wouldn't let Curl into heaven cuz he's such a sucker; like she would walk up to that check-in station or that holy tollbooth, and some angel with big black boots would come out and kick her in the ass and throw her off the cloud." (page 137)

- "She wasn't sh_t but a two-dollar hooker?" "She'd do any man with a pair of shoes." (page 138)

- "Then I started crying like a little bitch." (page 140)

- "I was like, `Goddamn hooker. Goddamn bazooka-fiending hooker.'" (page 141)

- "Hey, Seldom, there's a hooker on a pogo stick and she's flashing her p_ssy!" (page 146)

- "For some reason I told him to stop being a little bitch. I was like, `Stop being a little bitch, Seldom.'" "I ain't being no little bitch." "I went, `Little Christmas bitch'." (page 147)

- "Part of me didn't want to say sh_t after all that bitching he was doing." (page 148)

- "And it wasn't just no normal little-bitch cry; that sh_t felt like it was coming out of my feet and my ass and the bones in my back." (page 153)

- "I didn't say nothing back. I just took my pants down and climbed up in his bed. His mattress is real high off the floor so you kind of have to jump up in it." "After I got up in his bed I turned away from him and got on my hands and knees like a dog. I stared at the picture and waited for Seldom to do what I knew he was going to do." "Seldom went, `Jimster?' again, but I just stayed there like that for a minute. I just stayed there all doggy-style and naked with my ass in the air." "Seldom went, `You asleep, Jimster?'" "I just went, `Go `head, Seldom. Go on and do me.'" "Then I closed my eyes tight and I held my breath cuz I knew he had his big n_gger d_ck out and I knew it was all long and scabby and I knew it had that hook on the end of it like Bob Motley talked about." "And I just knew that sh_t was going to hurt when he stuck it in my and took my buns, too. It didn't matter how much hair grease or motor oil he used. But I didn't care. I just said it again." "I went, `Go on and f_ck me.'" "But Seldom didn't do sh_t." (page 162)

- "He was in such a good mood I thought he was gonna fart balloons and sh_t." (page 171)

- "I was getting p_ssed off for some reason." (page 172)

- "...and I think he sh_t his pants cuz you could smell it." (page 173)

- "...I told him I had ass failure." (page 175)

- 16-year old boy gets schizophrenia, his mom has a girlfriend, his sperm donor dad is also homosexual.

- Info only based on Chapter 1; mom having sex with her girlfriend: “[she] parts [her] thighs with her hands, buries her hands, her tongue, in [her].. desperately as if this is their last fuck on earth. [She] shakes, but doesn't come yet. She pulls [her] up beside her... twisted sheets. [she] is sweating and crying at the same time.. her lips feel rough and hot. [she] kisses [her] with deep, purposeful kisses,.... reaches into the drawer of the night table.. pulls out the old cracked maroon cock, slides it up inside [her].. shirt is still half-buttoned on her body. .....[she] says into [her]ear, "Give it here," and when [she] does it"s like a wall falling down and on the other side of the wall is a rushing wind."

- Chapter 2, 3, etc: Who knows...

- The FCPS library catalog (Reed Business Information) says this is the 17th book in the series of “Alice” books. Another editorial review from School Library Journal, also from Reed Business Information, by Tina Zubak, Carnegie Library of Pittsburgh, says it is the 16th in the series. In any case she [A] is now almost a 16-year old and in 10th grade. This book, the same as Alice on the Outside, is mainly focused on sex and boys and has a very artificial feel, as if it is really sex instruction, intertwined within a weak, formula like plot and disguised or packaged as children’s fiction. In the only significant sub-plot to the main sex education plot, she is getting her license. The School Library Journal review indicates one of her friends “has oral sex with a boy she doesn't know well” and that homosexuality is given a brief and accepting mention. A Booklist review (Hazel Rochman, copyright American Library Association) indicates in a church sexuality class she learns about condoms and how masturbation is “healthy, and it doesn't make you crazy.” The Booklist review also mentions a “blow job” and how the church sexuality class “discussion is fun” and A’s “friends want to hear all about it” and that “readers will [also].” Interestingly the FCPS catalog only mentions “making out” and the “sexuality class at church” but doesn't mention oral sex, masturbation or condoms, and doesn’t give an age/grade indication. The other two reviews indicate Grades 7 – 10.

- The book takes place in Montgomery County, Maryland. Recently there was lots of controversy about high school sex-ed classes in MCPS with one of the issues involving students putting condoms on fruit. In A’s church sex-ed class she does this. It is clear in this 2005 book the author is incorporating this actual event and making a statement that this is good thing for high school children to learn in a coed setting. This book should definitely be read by parents of children in MCPS that are involved in the sex-ed controversy.

- A and friends discuss a newspaper article “Desperate Girls” which discussed “sexual activity of girls between the ages of 12 and 16-how we were getting involved in all kinds of sex.” A jokes “bring on the kangaroos.” A and her friends make fun of purity rings, mentioned in the article. G says her dad didn’t want to give her one and “He said it would be like leading a bear to honey.”

- “..J’s.. always talking about.. sex.. wants us to know that she and J are hot and heavy… wants us to ask.. just so she can brag.. Someone might say, He’s the top man on the team and J will.. say, Well, sometimes the woman’s on top.. trying to turn everything.. to her and sex.”

- “J and K were .. belting out a risqué version [of a song that A’s uncle used to sing to her when she was very small].. On the first night I slept with you.. knew what my mother had told me was true.. several months since that night.. nightie has grown very tight. You thrilled me, you chilled me, you gosh-darn near killed me, in my sweet little nightie.. laughed.. but could feel my cheeks burning.. E said.. stuff like that that makes virgins scared.. almost died of pleasure.. Not necessarily said [another girl].. I don’t know a single girl who enjoyed her first time.. seemed to me that there was a whole lot more sex going on than I knew about, or maybe people just lie.. maybe.. article was true!.. a party’s going on and I’m not invited.. everyone else has wonderful, exotic, erotic life.. would be nice to do something wild for a change..”

- A talking to older brother: “She wants to stay a virgin.. Then I thought about R kissing her naked breasts.. Technically, I mean. Below the waist, anyway.”

- A is mad her dad is “sending her to church to learn about sex.” She is upset. She tells him “we were practically raised heathen” and she has hardly ever gone to church. Her dad tells her she was “not raised heathen” and that “people can be good without belonging to a church” and the kids [going] “aren’t any different from you.” He admits it was the Desperate Girl article that got “[his] attention. A thinks about how an old boyfriend had “ran his hands up her sides close to my breasts and [she] could almost feel herself beginning to melt.” A agrees to go.

- “Why didn’t dad make you take that class” A asks her older brother. He says, “Because I already knew how to put a condom on a banana… I have to put a condom on a banana? Why do I have to know how to do that?... Because a man might want you to do it sometime [he tells her].”

- A tells her friends “We practice putting a condom on a banana.. What?.. In front of the congregation?” her friend says “whatever you learn.. teach me.. If you learn it in church, it must be ok.”

- She goes to the church class. This chapter is titled: “The-New-Girl-Who-Came-to-Learn-About-Sex” The curriculum includes “Intimate Communication; Sexual Orientation; Myths and Facts; Gender Issues; values; Lovemaking… long list.” Group has “a couple who were obviously bf/gf.” A says all the topics “look interesting”.. “But if one of them deals with putting a condom on a banana, I’d zap it.”

- “figure of a female.. sexual parts named.. brief description of each: ovary, cervix, clitoris… male.. testicles, penis, prostrate… I’d been through all this before. The “Our Changing Bodies” unit back in 7th grade health class..”

- “..taping a word on your back.. Clitoris, his sign read. Oh.. my.. God. I stared at the paper.. to see what one-word clue I could give him. The seat of female pleasure, I read. Um.. pleasure? I gulped. Got it! He yelped. Gimmie a ‘c’… gimmie an ‘l’.. he… spelled out the whole word. “Clitoris!” he yelped.. I showed [another boy the sign on my back].. I know it’s male and it’s not an organ, I said… comes from an organ [he said]. Semen? I guessed. You got it! He told me… last person.. could not figure out his word.. hint.. both male and female.. hermaphrodite?.. we burst into laughter. No. But everyone’s got one, said [the instructor]. Anus?.. we howled..”

- “I told [friends] as much as I could remember [about the church class]. P was chiefly interested in whether any of the guys were hot. You probably would have gone for the guy with the word ‘clitoris’ on his back… I hate that word [L said]. Clitoris? I asked? ..seems so.. masculine or something. Like a tiny penis.. don’t even want guys to know I have one.. What do you want guys to think you have down there?.. A Keep Out sign P joked.. No loitering I said.. No vacancy, P added.. No parking said L.. Keep of the grass I finished.. we howled.. wish sex was more like it was in the.. old movies.. said E. My grandmother said.. when she was in high school, movies never showed men and women in bed together… They pretended they didn’t even have bodies [A said]”

- “..hard to watch J and [her boyfriend].. all over each other.. want to say get a room. [he] smiled.. pulled me to him.. we kissed.. grinned.. You think it feels that way when lesbians kiss? L and L? [he asked]. Why not? [A said]. What about gay marriage?[he said]… people are always saying how promiscuous gays are, and yet when they try to settle down with one partner, they can’t make it legal [A said]… L and L.. treated [rotten] by some of the kids..”

- “We parked.. You don’t have to be wild about someone to do whatever.[P said].. And he had a good time, anyway.. I gave him a hand job.. It’s a good idea to practice on somebody you don’t care a lot about so you’ll know how to do it on somebody you do care for. ..don’t believe this.. did he.. ask you to do it.. trying to picture it in my head. ..He just unzipped his pants and put my hand there.. didn’t take long, but it’s kind of sticky.. sort of exciting to see how easily you can turn a guy on.. get a guy begging for it, he’ll do almost anything.. amazing! ..So what did he do for you?.. Nothing. Not that he didn’t try.. If I’d wanted sex though.. he’d have done it. I know he would.”

- Back in church class: “[instructor] explaining [intimacy].. not a single act.. watching a sunset.. talking.. having intercourse.. asked us to name every possible act.. that expressed intimacy or sexual feelings between 2 people.. [other instructor] wrote them on the blackboard. ..oral sex, mutual masturbation.. One of the guys told about a party.. where everyone was doing something sexual short of intercourse to someone else. All in the same room… What’s wrong with that picture? Anything? [instructor asked].. like they’re onstage. Performing, said one girl. ..how can you feel anything for anybody if it doesn’t matter who it’s with and you’ve got an audience? ..Well, it’s safer than having intercourse [guy said]. Can’t argue with that said [instructor]. ..chance for humiliation, said.. tall guy.. Yeah, but if you just look at it a practice session.. said someone else.. [A says], I don’t want to be somebody’s guinea pig.. thinking [about P].”

- “15 for me was the Age of Embarrassment [A’s brother says].. had bet with.. girl.. if I won, she’d let me see her breasts.. I won.. couldn’t get her bra unfastened.. custodian found us [in band room].. vowed I would practice until I could unhook a girl’s bra in 2 seconds.. ordered bra from.. catalog.. dad opened package before I got home. He never quite got over it. [We laughed]… If you order anything.. he said make sure it’s not a jockstrap.”

- A’s friend [F] has boyfriend who hits her. He sets up guy to dance with her and gets mad when she does, hits her, apologizes, they make up. They tell F to dump him but she loves him and doesn’t. This type behavior repeats itself in the book between F and her boyfriend.

- “We kissed again.. [he] let his hand slide from my collarbone to my breast.. then he pulled away. My whole body went goose bumps.”

- Back in church class: “This time the subject was sexual readiness.. questions to ask ourselves before engaging in sexual intercourse.. Questions like, Do I really trust my partner.. What will I do to prevent pregnancy?.. [guy] read another question aloud. What makes me feel I want to have intercourse right now? Is this for real?.. Is there ever a time I don’t? After answering all these questions, I’d be too tired to have intercourse [girl said]. .. we laughed..

- “chat room [with friends]… AliceBug322: maybe nudists have it right. When a nudist proposes, he’s already inspected the merchandise, top to bottom.”

- Talking about one of older brothers old girlfriends: “..one of his instructors [at college].. He almost cost her her job.”

- A and friends are going on multiple night trip to New York City. P’s cousin in NJ mails her a newspaper. “It’s the weekly paper of Greenwich Village. Anyone who’s cool, wild, and outrageous reads [it]. ..will tell us exactly where to go.. full-color photo double spread.. rows and rows of crouching women exposing their backsides.. TWO GIRL SPECIAL.. HOT TRANS SEX.. all with phone numbers.. wow! said E. we giggled.. A, this is you, said P.. LOCAL GIRLS GO WILD.. this is you! [A] said.. HOT NASTY GIRLS.. perfect one for E: OVER THE KNEE SPANKING AND MUCH MORE. We howled. ..got to get serious.. got to find some clubs.. Here’s one.. Shadow-dancing barkeep performs nude in sultan’s tent.. Mark it! [A] said.. $3 dollar cover.. rubfest.. gawk at funky hipster chicks dancing on well-stocked bars. ..Well-oiled studs do karaoke in the raw!.. Yes! L and A said.. And this! A said.. sip your drink under the stern tutelage of whip-bearing waiters..”

- Back in church class: “..had our infamous “putting a condom on a banana” lesson… too funny to be embarrassing.. guys seemed more embarrassed than the girls, but we were all good sports doing it. [instructors].. answering.. questions like What happens if a condom comes off inside a woman? So what do you do? L asked on the bus the next morning.. can fish it out with your fingers if you have to. Or the man could do it for you. It’s not like your some endless cave.. what else.. Whether condoms make a noise if they pop.. spent part of the class.. blowing them up like balloons.. popping them.. I don’t understand your church said L. when I go to mass everything I touch is revered-a rosary, a prayer book.. I guess you could say we revere life.. so do you. Sex is part of life, so my church isn’t so different, really.”

- “…he’s gay.. I told [him] that but he says H’s gay till he gets me alone, and then I’ll find out how hetero he really is.”

- “B had a brochure about a raunchy strip show in NY.. guys were looking at it and laughing. P kept asking to see it.. B dangled it.. in front of her face, and we got a glimpse. P laughed and tried to grab [it]..”

- “[A’s boyfriend]..was running his hand up and down my back underneath my jacket.. inched its way above the waistband of my jeans and under my top.. almost reached my bra.. Then they stopped.. hard to concentrate on immigrants when a guy’s fingers are roaming around your back.”

- 3 older boys sneak A and her 3 friends out of the hotel when they are on the school NYC trip: “Party time!.. we’ll try a couple of places, see if we can get in.. to the subway.. P sat down on [one of the boys] lap rather than sit on a seat by herself. As the car shook she wiggled around with.. exaggerated movement. Lap dancing, she said and the guys laughed.” They go into a place because A has to go to the bathroom. “..what a relief! I said. You sound like a cloudburst, said L. ..heard someone come in.. man humming to himself.. was a unisex bathroom.. stepped out.. tall woman in a black low-cut dress.. She looked at us and smiled.. laughed at the way we were staring at her.. realized then that she was a he… [one of the guys said], That’s what that club is known for-transgendered performers.. probably one of the singers. I tried to be cool about it”

- They go into another club and the guys are able to get beers and cocktails. “..tried to remember what we’d seen on Sex and the City. A Cosmopolitan?.. the underwear party got going.. first customer stood up and slipped off his jeans.. paraded across [stage].. We all cheered.. 9 contestants in all.. 2 of them female.. weren’t exactly like strippers.. underwear was more the cotton collegiate type-but they were bikini style and the girls had nice bodies, so all the guys whistled and clapped… bartender.. told us [we had to leave] just as “Steve from NJ” was going across the stage. Darn! Said E.. just when it was getting good!”

- “She laughed about L and me finding a transvestite in the unisex bathroom. I wish you’d come, I told her again.”

- “[A] leaned back against [boyfriend].. his arms around my waist, fingers.. over my stomach.. face nuzzling my cheek, he’d work.. hand inside my jacket in front, up under my shirt, then slide a finger slowly around under the waistband of my underwear, caressing my skin. It was deliciously sexy, and was surprised to feel a wetness in my pants. Who would have thought that here on Ellis Island..?”

- “I’ll have to admit that part of the attraction of getting close to a guy is not knowing just how far the 2 of you will go. Not knowing if that finger.. will slip under your bra.. or whether, when you kiss and he presses up against you, you can feel him getting hard. ..game of “What Next?” that keeps you excited.”

- “..was just hanging out with Hugh [H], P said.. Where? asked L.. [his] room.. His buddies were watching TV. She giggled I told you I was going to have fun on this trip.. I was making somebody reeeally happy, said P. OK? Not OK. Happy as in.. sex? Asked M? You could say that, P said.. You did.. IT? I said.. were in his bathroom, ok? So I gave [him] some head.. A blow job? E asked.. Yeah.. You get a 100. A blow job is head is oral sex. But.. why? I asked. You just met him.. Because he wanted it! It was fun! It was amazing to see how excited I could get him! Do you swallow it or what [L asked]. We giggled, but I sure didn’t know the answer. You can but I didn’t P told her.. can.. see myself doing that with a guy I really loved.. but you hardly know him [L said].. I know him enough to know I like him.. he’s hot!.. he’s a senior. Yeah, but what are you? Just a body part? A head? [A asked]. G [said] you’re not a service station.. I.. know what it’s like when a guy just wants quick service. My old ex was a master at it.. going to burn me at the stake or what asked P.. You can get VD in your mouth [said G].. Yeah, yeah, and I could get run over by a taxi or hit by a meteorite said P.. made a cute guy really happy tonite.. no big deal.. [A] didn’t know what to think. Was what P felt that much different from the feelings I had on Ellis Island with [S] running his fingers under the waistband of my pants? Up under the band of my bra? My wanting him to go a little further? Touch me in other places, too?”

- “..she was sad and scared.. last night she was a party animal. No, not even that. A body part. A head.”

- “..P was trying to squeeze in between [H and T]… H was.. playful-I think-pushing [her] away.. sort of pathetic. She finally gave up.. as she left he gave her a slap on the butt and that seemed to please her.”

- Trip to NYC done, back in school cafeteria: “..P brazenly plunked herself down on [H’s] lap and put her arms.. around his neck… Before when she’d done it, he’d slapped her thigh, slapped her bottom, run his hands up and down her sides.. [not] this time.. He leaned stiffly back.. Hey! Studly! Liven up! P said… Get off [H said].. P began same wiggle she’d done on the subway when she pretended she was lap dancing.. H pushed back and stood up.. P tumbled off.. H.. sat back down.. P.. face.. red..” All P’s friends are embarrassed for her – she is humiliated.

- A’s friend F, the one with the abusive boyfriend, is beaten bloody and 2 of her teeth are knocked out in the school parking lot. A and her other friends witness this. Police are called. Charges are pressed against the boyfriend. She goes to shrink to help see why she puts up with abuse.

- A breaks up with her boyfriend because he was so clingy and needy. “P had to discover she was more than a body part, F had to convince herself she wasn’t a doormat, and I had to accept the fact that I wasn’t a life preserver.”

- Friends ask why A dumped boyfriend: “..wanted to go to 3rd base and you wouldn’t let him.. if he’d tried, I would have let him, I joked. I liked all that. Maybe that was on of the reasons I’d broken it off.. liked that but hadn’t liked [boyfriend] enough to continue. It wasn’t honest. In a way, P had been more honest with H, because when she’d did what she’d done, she was nuts about him.”

- P: “God, I just feel so used. Same old story. What’s with guys, anyway? R.. B… H..”

- Discussing church class stuff with friends: “One of our topics was ‘healthy Lovemaking.. I’ll take hot, not healthy, P joked. What did you learn? That it’s consensual, safe, non-exploitive, and mutually pleasurable.. Next time, said P”

- Church class: “Can you remember any inaccurate info you got in the past? [instructor] asked. ..you couldn’t get a girl pregnant if you had sex standing up… once a girl used a tampon, she wasn’t a virgin.. guy had to limit how often he had sex, because he only had so many orgasms in him before his sex life was over… Did you ever come across a sexual term you didn’t understand? [instructor asked].. Necrophilia.. Nymphomania.. Yemani wrigglings and Nubian lasciviousness.. write down what your own values are regarding your sexuality [instructor said].. are private, to be read only by you.” A writes that ideally it would be nice to have 1st intercourse when married but can’t promise herself that and she would see when she gets to college.

- Discussion on church class with friend: “..what did you talk about… Sexual myths and facts. Masturbation in particular… what did they say.. it’s healthy and doesn’t make you crazy.. what else.. you can still get pregnant if you have sex standing up..”

- P talking about her mom: “How do you take back what you’ve done? She acted like a slut, running off like that with some guy.. I wondered if P recognized the.. similarity [of what P and her mom had done].. [A] decided not to [tell P]”

- 11th book in the series of “Alice” books. She [A] is now a 13-year old and in 8th grade. Book is mainly focused on sex and boys but has 2 other significant subplots. One is about a lesbian friend and homosexual advocacy/acceptance in general. The other is about a “Consciousness-Raising Week” training session in school. The whole school is divided into different groups with different privileges, to “learn” about prejudice and “fear of difference.” The book has a very artificial feel, as if it is really sex instruction and formal consciousness training lessons, weakly tied together and disguised or packaged as children’s fiction.

- page 4: “When you only go out with one guy, everyone assumes you’re having sex.”

- “..wanted to ask her what it’s.. like to have sex with a man. ..Niagara Falls, where.. couples.. honeymoon, is brides ‘second’ biggest disappointment,’ meaning.. intercourse is first. ..what does it feel like?”

- “Did I fondle her… did you feel lust?.. did it excite you.. did it turn me on, sure, a little.. did I want to throw her on her back and make mad love? No. ..grown-ups worry.. that sex-ed classes will excite us so much, we’ll all.. head for the bushes.. if I did everything my impulses told me.. I’d go make love to the cashier..”

- “..grown woman with huge breasts.. lets her breasts fall into the bra cups before she hooks it. ..the way you get your nipples where they’re supposed to be.. What is sexual intercourse really like for a woman?”

- “..read.. the average woman has sexual intercourse 3,948 times.. C, [A’s adult cousin] what does intercourse really, really feel like.. The first time.. yes. That too. ..you do know how it’s done.. I know what goes where,.. But how does it feel when a man’s penis goes inside you? ..some woman it hurts a little the first time. maybe the first couple of times. ..feels pretty good… exciting to feel yourself opening up for a man.. [do] you spend your whole honeymoon in pain? ..[no].. so many girls use tampons now they’ve already stretched themselves a little down there.. what’s sex like later? ..Forget movies.. looks so easy in the movies.. climb in bed and make wild love and both come at the same time-- What does that mean? An orgasm. A climax. ..If you’ve ever masturbated, you already know what it feels like. ..movies.. intercourse,.. climax at the same time. In real life, some men and women like to make love different ways.. tell her partner what she really likes. Girls want guys to think they’re sexy, so they sigh and moan.. Then.. guy thinks he’s a real stud, so he goes right on doing what feels good to him, and it may never do much for the girl. Wait for someone you really love.. love enough to marry.. If I don’t like intercourse so much, what are the other ways? ..anything you can imagine. ..may want your husband to touch you with his hands.. lips.. try different things.. ask him what he’d like you to do to him. ..in love, giving each other pleasure. ..always imagined that the woman just lay down on her back.. wear sexy nightgown. ..never imagined she had to talk! ..give directions..”

- A tells her friends what her adult cousin told her: “..same kind of climax you feel if you touch yourself.. Some.. like intercourse best, and some.. like other things, and it doesn’t matter what. You mean you can try a whole bunch of stuff to see what you like the most?.. main thing.. woman.. has to give man directions-tell him where to touch her.. if a man really loves you, he’ll make love any way you want. ..if sex isn’t like it is in the movies, why do women keep on getting married and having intercourse? ..must be something they like about it,.. get naked together and have sex.. more we thought about it.. better it seemed.. saw a man and woman starting to make love [on TV]. ..had gorgeous breasts.. man was groaning, the woman moaning.. Get serious [A said].. Get real, [her friend said].”

- Conversation with older brother: “Why would I get involved with a married woman? ..You told her you loved her, L! ..I did! ..bet you told C the same thing before she married. I did! I loved her too! ..bet there were even more girls you said you loved. A couple… Can I help it if I love woman? Can you help it if you love chocolate?”

- “Bullshit!”

- “..got picture of.. guy.. giving finger to one of the new Whites down below.”

- “What if they.. rape her?.. what if she does gets raped.. and doesn’t tell.. What if she gets pregnant.. [has] little boy.. he might grow up to be rapist like his father.. We thought you were raped.. You’ve never skipped school before.. you’ve never hung around the Bikers.. Nothing happened that wasn’t by mutual consent. ..Are you still a virgin? ..Do I have to tell you every time a guy touches me? ..touched you? Where? ..One of the guys slipped his hand under my sweater, that’s all. ..touched my breasts. ..got a 3-second feel through my bra.. remembering .. P.. giving me a drum lesson. ..sat close behind me.. didn’t touch my breasts-he almost did.. I sort of wanted him to ..that’s what sex is all about, isn’t it? ..supposed to want to caress.. supposed to feel good.. natural.. normal. ..when are you supposed to stop saying no and start saying yes?.. after your married, P. At least after your engaged. ..Tell that to my mom, P said.. She’s married, only she’s doing it with someone else. ..You know that time.. that man [on the train].. kissed you and touched your breasts, P?.. I think that started all this. ..set up cravings you.. can’t control. ..let a boy get to 1st base, he’ll try.. 2nd.. steal 3rd, and.. not playing baseball, I’m making out! ..It feels good! ..boys make out because it feels good, and girls just do it to please the boys.”

- “Grope. It’s when a boy touches.. you [where] your bathing suit is supposed to cover.. that’s what Sister M [nun] told us.. I like that! said P. ..means he could [touch].. along your inner thigh.. faked a shiver. ..how about.. thong bathing suits, where both cheeks are open to the public? A [said].”

- “..last time somebody ‘needed’ me,.. was E who’d never seen a naked man [A’s brother said]. ..[A] grinned, remembering how I tried to get [my brother] to buy a magazine.. of hunks. ..[P’s] mom’s off with the Nordictrack instructor….”

- “..we passed Victoria’s Secret.. black bikini panties.. garter belt.. heels, and on top, nothing..”

- “[that dress would] be great for Halloween.. if you wanted to look like a hooker.”

- A goes over to L’s house to spend night. L holds her hand and tells A that she likes her and likes girls better than boys. A tells L she doesn’t. L apologizes for coming on too strong. A says she is going with a boy. L says, “..doesn’t necessarily mean anything. I’ve heard of girls who went with boys first before they realized they were gay.” L says she is a lesbian and never had a girlfriend before, but would like to. A thinks about what her mother and an “ideal mother” would say if she told her that she was a lesbian. L tells A that.. she loves girls the way a guy would love them and gives A a bracelet. When they go to bed A wonders if L will try to kiss her or she might wake up and find L in bed with her. “But it never happened. ..wonder why people seem so afraid that someone who’s gay or lesbian might make a pass at them. All you have to say is no, just like you’d tell a guy..”

- A wakes up in the morning: “No matter how hard I tried [girls] just didn’t turn me on.. I had to keep hiding my feelings about [boy she likes].. What if.. everyone expected me to fall in love with a girl.. and I.. didn’t want to.. began to worry.. L’s giving me a bracelet meant she was about to do something desperate, the way [another girl] had given me presents before she stepped in front of a train.”

- A says to her dad: “..wondering what you would say if I told you I was lesbian. [dad says] be disappointed.. wouldn’t know happiness of.. husband and children, sad.. you were part of minority, because I know-and you know, from CRW (Consciousness-Raising Week)- that minorities are usually never treated well as everyone else; but I’d be happy if you found someone.. [to] love. [Why?] I just spent the night with a lesbian [A says].. I saw dad swallow. Gotcha! I said.. L said she liked me, and she gave me a bracelet, but I told her I don’t feel the same way.. so we’re just friends. Good for you, A,… glad your still friends [dad says]. ..gay approached a friend.. in men’s room.. friend decked him [her brother says].. Why [not].. just.. no thanks [A says].. To show he wasn’t gay. ..guy who has to answer a proposal [like that] is protesting a little too much. ..wishing that when L.. tells[s[ her family, they’d be as kind as dad and [brother] were to me.”

- “Maybe [my brother] was gay! ..real reason he gave up 2.. girls.. always seemed crazy for girls, but what if.. put-on? ..that story you told about the guy who made a pass.. in the men’s room,,, was that you? ..you got a movie about men kissing.”

- Her brother’s former girlfriend, now married tells him, “I dream about you. THOSE kind of dreams. ..keep comparing [my husband] to you… I love [your brother] A. ..can’t help myself.. “ A implies her brother is gay to get her to stop loving her brother.

- “..couldn’t imagine instructing [boyfriend] how to make love to me if we were married.”

- “Tell me how you like to be kissed [her boyfriend, P, says]. ..already a boy wanted to know how to make love to me! ..gentle or hard.. all kinds of ways. What do you like best? ..half lying on the swing and he was bending over me, kissing me hard on the mouth.” Her dad catches her, turns on the porch light and A gets mad at him. He tells her it starts as a kiss “then one thing leads to another” and he remembers what it was like and that is why he turned on the light. He says P was on top of her and A says he wasn’t, was just bending over. Her brother says that is how “it all begins” and when he was that age everything he saw “reminded me of sex - tomatoes, knotholes, pillows, peaches, you name it.” A is very mad and thinks kissing doesn’t mean “we were going to have sexual intercourse.” She overhears her brother telling something to her dad about “Once she is sexually active.. Sexually active? sexually active? ..haven’t even learned fine points of kissing… “ She tells dad and brother she is about as “sexually active as a bag of spinach and.. to keep me on the porch and not out in the park somewhere behind the bushes.. keep the stupid light off when I come home with a boy.” Her dad apologizes and says he will keep it off.

- “..one day Aunt S caught me.. trying to wash my sheets. ..why was that embarrassing [A asks her brother]? ..You know about nocturnal emissions, don’t you [he says]? ..puberty.. sexy dream.. ejaculates in.. sleep.. sheets wet.. [Aunt].. embarrassed as I was. ..next day dad had.. talk with me about wet dreams.. When a guy ejaculates, how much semen comes out? A cup [A asks brother]? ..cup? Ye gods, no. ..tablespoon or 2, maybe. He grinned at me. ..never measured. We laughed. ..Are you sexually active [she asks brother]? ..lets just say I get around. ..define ‘sexual.’ Intercourse is sexual, but so is kissing and hugging.. and sweet-talking.. licking and touching.. dozen other things.. don’t have to have intercourse to be sexual.”

- “..got news for [nun] said P. You can still get in a lot of trouble [keeping both feet on the floor]. keep both feet on the floor and your knees together! Now that’s a challenge.”

- “..scrawled [in restroom].. L and Lesbo.. after 5th period.. 5 or 6 girls had backed l and L into one of the bathroom stalls.. Go on! Do it!.. Go ahead, kiss her!.. girls laughed.. They were holding hands at mall. ..saw them.. coming out party.. Kiss her!.. chant.. Kiss her, kiss her, kiss her… Stop it! [A yells].. stormed into group.. thought the kids were so tolerant.. prejudice.. Didn’t Consciousness-Raising Week mean anything.. to you? ..we’re not racists!.. But we know lesbos when we see them. She must be one too! laughed [girl about A]..” Teacher intervenes and breaks things up “Are they [lesbians? P] asked [A]. Who knows? What difference does it make? ..A lot!. ..Kinky sex. Do you know what lesbians do [A}?.. Do you know what your mother and her NordicTrack boyfriend do [P]? Does anyone ask them?.. If L and I are lesbians, they can’t help it. Maybe not but they don’t have to go around flaunting it. Flaunting it? [boys and girls kiss, etc].. nobody says a word.. L and l hold hands and look what happens!.. You did the right thing, A, even if homosexuality is a sin, said E. ..Not everyone believes [that A] told [E]. What I mean is, being homosexual isn’t a sin, because people can’t help the way they are, but making homosexual love is [says E]. Isn’t that.. like telling someone it isn’t a sin to be hungry, but it is if you eat? [A] snapped.’ A tells E and P that L gave her a bracelet when she spent the night at her house. They think everyone will think that she is a lesbian.

- Story about gang life. While some have claimed it might stop children from entering the gang life, in many ways this book actually glorifies gang life and would attract them to it - especially the most vulnerable and lost.

- “..sperm weeds.. stunk like semen when you cut them..”

- “..took delight in seeing me writhe in pain.. hunger for cruelty..”

- Brother pushes him off house roof. Brother puts rope around his neck and pulls him around yard. “..choked the life out of me. I had rope burns around my neck for a week.” Neighbor boy ropes his feet and hangs him upside down.

- “Mama.. cuts [her] engorged veins with a razor and drains them into a .. pail. ..dreams of blood, me drowning in a red sea, blood on sheets, on the walls..”

- “Spics to order - maybe with some beans? ..pushed me to the ground.. melted gum and chips of broken beer bottle on my lips and cheek. ..punched [brother] in face.. stomach.. face again, cutting his lip, causing him to vomit. ..laugh I would hear in countless beatings thereafter.”

- “I didn’t even tell anybody when I had to go to the bathroom. I did it in my pants. ..stunk there in the corner… kids [in class] screamed.. P.U.”

- “..[woman] had been babysitting 3 small children… parents never came back.. ran out of food.. trash collectors find 3 children in a playpen next to the.. garbage.” People burn down her house after the woman is taken away.

- “..boys.. began getting uncontrollable hard-ons. ..girls flowered.. [gang] fired heir.. .22s at the school.. broke windows with stones.. rammed through gate and front entrances.. [beat] dudes who stood in their way.. teachers ran.. Terror filled everyone’s eyes. ..I wanted what [gang] had.. power to hurt somebody.”

- “..first love at 12 years.. didn’t just know how to kiss, but how to take my hand through sections of her body and teach a pre-teen.. junior high: [girls] who walked up.. stairs.. in tight skirts, revealing everything.. looked down on us, smiling at their power. Bloody Kotexes on the hallway floor. Gang graffiti.. Fires [in].. restroom trash.. Fights every day.. Dudes who sold and took drugs, mostly downers and yesca,.. sometimes heroin.. shot up in the boys’ room while their ‘homeys’ kept.. lookout.”

- “..teacher 80 years old.. we threw her.. encyclopedias.. out the window. Then.. the desks and chairs.”

- Shop class teacher slices off his finger with saw. “God damn it!.. God damn it!.. ambulance came.. [we] sneaked [back].. found [his] finger.. purplish with dried blood and bone chips on one end.. we kept it in [a] locker.. bring it out to scare girls and to show it off.. until it shriveled away, like a dried sliver of old fruit.”

- “Mama hated the cholos.. fought.. drank mescal, smoked marijuana, and left scores of woman with babies bursting out of their bodies.. seen so much alcoholism.. weed madness.. in drunken rages [her father].. hit her mom and drag her through he house by the hair. ..dad’s solution was to [ground me].. after school. ..13 years old already.. tattooed.. sexually involved.. into drugs.. In the middle of the night I snuck out.”

- “..he ain’t shit.”

- “..Tribe party.. pitch black.. reeked of cigarette and marijuana.. drinking from bottles of cheap wine… figure out which [gang] to claim or.. get fucked by both… containers of pills.. reds or downers.. whites or uppers… girl’s muffled voice… figure.. going up and down [on top of her].. moaning with every motion. ..She’s being initiated into the Tribe. Then he laughed.”

- “..passing a bottle of.. wine.. They just stole an ice cream truck.. They sure is crazy.. drink until the day melted into night.”

- “.. could see car speeding [off].. C’s face was shot full of pellets, countless black, steaming round holes, his eye dripping into the dirt.”

- “..I had ruptured myself.. sac that held my bottom intestine had.. rip and threatened to spill its contents and my life.. While they were [operating], they decided I should get circumcised. ..could survive without [circumcision].. but wasn’t doing a good job of cleaning myself and had developed some sores. So the call was ‘off with the foreskin.’ ..pain in my newly rearranged member.. circumcision had gone wrong.. gave me.. shot to my penis.. undo the stitches, then cut and pull.. Blood sprayed.. I’d never be a man now!”

- “..bridges.. beneath which teenagers drank, got loaded, fought and often made love. ..people in various stages of undress splashing around in the dark. ..sometimes, a body would be found wedged in stones.. or floating face down”

- “we scored on cases of beer and some grifa. A few colies… drank and toked.. blouse clung to her.. hard nipples through soaked nipple.. some mescaline.. bumping his head on rocks and shit. C and S took some hits too. ..B maneuvered [her] over to a cave.. knew what he was doing, copping feels and such. ..reefer, mescaline.. brownness of her nipples.. ‘bitchin’ wave.. Fuck you, beaners! Mexicans suck!.. get some of this, as he squeezed his crotch.. Come on greasers.. fuck you.. white dudes pulled out guns.. one of them flashed a badge.. Police.. acted cool, but I knew the mescaline had a lot to do with it.. Don’t fuckin’ move.. fuckin’ greaser asshole.. cop found.. mescaline and some joints.. felonies.. cops were ecstatic.. cops poked blackjacks into [B’s] ribs.”

- Stealing and armed robberies: “..money, jewelry, guns.. TV’s cameras and stereos.. started to hijack trucks.. sell the electronic[s] in parking lots and drive-ins. ..pull gun out on driver, take his money.. convenience stores we called ‘shop and robs’.. Placing gun to a mean’s head took some doing at first.. get used to it.. Or you’ll find yourself at the other end of a gun and be dead..”

- “..shit.. What the fuck is going on.. we ransacked the stand. ..I thrust out the gun and yelled, Freeze, motherfucker! ..Fuck you!.. open the safe. ..Gunfire.. Get the fuck out of here!.. I aimed at him.. he fired again.. Fuck it --I ran.”

- “.arose from a bed of old blankets on the floor, bumped toe.. almost stepped in a pail of piss.”

- “I tried to commit suicide. ..stupor from pills, liquor and sniffing aerosol can spray.. grabbed pail I used to pee in, and filled it with water… planned to thrust my arm into water after I cut an artery… couldn’t do it.”

- “..I was 14 already. ..stronger. ..been in many fights. ..Fuck you!.. fuck you!.. He was getting the better of me, but I wouldn’t let up - flailing away at his head and body.. bodies slammed into the wall.. dull thuds of fists on a face..”

- “..jam in my room, whiskey bottles at our sides.. last I heard he only plays when the heroin in his body gives him a booking.”

- “..shared a bottle of T-bird [wine]. ..paddy motherfucker.. forced them to fork over some bills.”

- “.[police] struck C with a baton.. put a choke hold on.. struck his legs.. face turned blue.. pressure on his neck.. knocked [him] to ground.. slobbering from mouth, his pupils turned up.. bottle struck.. police cars.. another.. another.. More cops came.. police pulled out.. ambulance took C.. receiving a barrage of rocks, bottles and debris.. [riot start, car with local resident rocked, Mexicans start assaulting the whites].. I.. punched him repeatedly in the face.. watching my fists beat his face, making deep cuts and welts.. [more police come].. Get the fuck out of here.. Fuck you beaner.. shit.. you fuckin’ spic.. get some of this!.. barrel of the gun.. finger encircling the trigger.. make sure you kill me or I’ll come after you.. next [day] at school the fights continued. Mexicans roamed the hallways, beating on any white guy.. Girls got into it too, ripping the blouses of the prim and proper “society” girls… white guy swung his bat to strike S, C came from behind and hit him over the head with a tire iron.. police came. As usual went after the Mexicans. ..I hated school. And I loved fighting.”

- “I worked as a bus boy.. when I was 15.. kept me up till 2 a.m. ..businessmen called everyone “pancho”.. had our ways of getting back.. putting snot and piss in their food.. “accidentally” spilling ice cold water [on them].. One waiter, a gay dude.. actually protected us.. thought.. he wanted to get to me, but.. he never raised this issue. One time he let us borrow his X-rated.. films.. marathon viewing of his films while dropping pills and chasing them with tequila.. waitresses had to endure even more abuse since they were women..”

- Almost kills himself on alcohol, pills and sniffing: “Not going to school.. Sniffing became my favorite way to waste [time].. stole.. anything that could give me a buzz.. carbono, clear plastic, paint or gasoline.. mix.. concoction and pour it on a rag or in paper bag we sniffed from.. [everywhere] I sniffed. Once I even.. removed the lid off the gas tank [of a back hoe].. had already dropped some pills and downed a 5th of Wild Turkey.. placed bag over my mouth and nose, sealed it tightly with both hands and breathed deeply transported away.. felt soothing.. didn’t want it to end.. grabbed the spray and the bag and resumed the ritual.. everything faded away.. I became a cartoon.. drifting towards.. lights.. family called me over.. had to get to the light.. peace.. untroubled.. the end of fear.. would be safe there.. everything around me exploded. An intense blackness.. stillness.. nothing.. Hands pulled at me.. Give me the bag.. No way.. You died.. you stopped breathing and died.. grief overwhelmed me.. I wished I did die.. You don’t understand I yelled.. I have to go back. I crept toward the paper bag but B kicked it out of my reach.”

- “..P liked me.. was OK, I guess, a real loca.. short tight skirts.. I ended up going with her.. When W and I sniffed… sometimes [she] joined us. ..[she] was always high.. I started tripping.. Snakes.. melted faces.. She.. pulled off her blouse. Erect nipples confronted me on firm breasts. I kissed them. She laughed and pulled me away.. I was too fucked up to care. ..in park she said she wanted to take her pants and underwear off.. in front of everyone? Yeah, why not?.. She did. Sniffing took the best out of her.. tunnel.. alone, with a bag of glue.. [she] fought all the time at school. Whenever she lost, her older brothers would slice her tongue with a razor.. was fun but.. couldn’t be intimate unless she was on reds, spray or snort.. I loved the spray and shit but [she] became too much like the walking dead.” [broke with her]

- Almost commits suicide: “A razor.. in my hand. A pail of water sat next to me. ..blade touched the skin.. put the blade down, peed in the water and fell asleep.”

- “17-year old J.. girlfriend had just given birth.. succumbed to a shotgun blast in his living room as his younger brother watched… JL already in prison for.. heroin..”

- “..party in the Hills.. Weed, pills, hard liquor… dudes shot up heroin.. older.. duded.. just.. out of the joint.. N.. had been shot 5 times and stabbed 40 times.. P1 once used a machine gun.. P2 had been convicted of murder at 16” [he gets initiated into gang by beating] “..fist at my face. I went down fast.. onslaught of steel-tipped shoes and heels rained on my body.. initiates pile into a pickup.. Fuck Sangra..” [randomly select some guys and destroy their car and beat and stab them] “..came across ’52 DeSoto.. 4 dudes inside drinking.. weren’t Sangra. They looked like hard-working.. lowriders out for spin. R.. punched the dude down… hit another guy.. bashed in the car, breaking windows and punching in metal with tire irons and 2-by-4’s.. struck him on the head [with wine bottle].. wouldn’t [break]..threw a brick at [driver’s] head.. [handed me] rusty screwdriver.. Do it, man.. I.. walked up to the beaten driver.. whose head was bleeding.. I plunged the screwdriver into flesh and bone..”

- “..Shit, I thought, they want to firebomb a house. ..looked similar to my mother’s back yard. ..poured gasoline into bottles and stuffed rags at the top.. toss them at the back porch.. news account reported.. Everyone got out safely, but.. house [was destroyed].”

- “Rapes became.. common.. began as isolated incidents, then a way of life. ..One dude was aid to have raped 17 girls one summer. E.. pulled up in a.. Chevy.. opened back door and invited us to “get in on this.” A naked girl, passed out, lay in the back seat. A black patch of pubic hair stood out on a shock of white skin.. [he declines]”

- “We jumped into E’s.. van. P and 2 girls inside.. I took swigs of.. wine and snorts of heroin.. girls were loaded.. P groped through the blouse of one.. who.. tried to pull him off. ..P on top of the girl he had been manhandling. Her legs spread.. torn underwear twisted around an ankle. P’s pants below his knees.. could see his buttocks rise up and down as he thrust into her, her weak moans more from the weight of his body than anything else. ..YY and F pulled the other girl out.. to the field.. E passed me the bottle as he wandered down.. I could hear P coming, scratchy noises rising from his throat. The girl.. between 12 and 14.. had her arms laid out over her head.. eyes closed.. mouth opened -unconscious, but as if in a silent scream. ..saw YY kissing the other girl.. while F opened her legs with his hand to get a better feel. E.. motioned me to come over. I didn’t want any part of it. ..I puked around my shoes. YY.. had thrown the girl to the ground. I knew what they were going to do… saw P pulling his pants up [in the] van..”

- “..found out P [his former girlfriend] ended up pregnant and in a prison of matrimony.. dudes.. would shoot and run over [her brother] several times; his body discovered wedged between metal trash bins in.. alley.. was 15 years old. P didn’t cry.”

- “We tried to enter death and emerge from it. ..sought it in heroin, which bears the peace of death in life. We craved it. ..Come kill me! was the inner cry. ..it caressed our cheeks.. like an extra finger in the back of our heads.. Death in a bottle. In spray. In.. woman, stripped of soul.. I stopped spray soon after my near-death.. needed something else.. dudes.. used to go off.. and shoot up smack. At 13 they shooed me away.. fooled with.. pills.. mescaline and meth.. Silver Satin and muscatel.. tequila and vodka.. snorted heroin and PCP.. By the time I turned 15 smack was everywhere.. epidemic.. first time I tried it.. we skin-popped.. L, who had marks up and down his arms, only gave us a taste until we could score with more money.. Y turned us into a stealing organization, this became the basis for scoring heroin.”

- “..hitchhiking throughout East L.A… pretending to be [new] students for a day. ..met more girls this way. We also got in fights with the local vatos.. soon.. girls to visit in Pomona, Pasadena, Norwalk, in Boyle Heights, and El Monte. ..cruising the boulevard.. crowded with girls. We offered them pills or booze and then slid around an alley… drank.. staggered about and had a taste of some by pushing a finger around the crotch of their panties and into their vagina, then continued on our way. ..having our own party with the pills and booze..”

- “..touch me there.. just like that..ummm. ..Sweat roamed down the sides of my face. ..car windows steamed. ..R lay on the back seat.. blouse open and ample breasts wet with my saliva. Don’t stop..ummmmm, don’t stop. My tongue drew circles around her nipples… rubbed her cunt from the outside of her pants. Her hip.. pushing harder and harder into my hand. She groped for my zipper.. slid it down. Her fingers kneaded the top of my penis, hard and wet.. oh baby, lick me. ..my back arched.. my head scraped the top of the car.. she held onto my penis with both hands while her lips smothered it and her tongue lightly flickered over the tip. ..pushing [her pants].. off.. saw the tuft of wild hair at her crotch, her legs spread.. inviting me to enter. ..pressed me down to her. the penis sank into the bristle of pubris, then slid into the oiled vagina, covering it in flesh and juice and the rhythm of the pelvis. [her] mouth sucked at my chest, my neck and shoulders as her fingernails scraped into my back. ..I moved and quivered inside her. Night after night I stayed over at ]her] place. ..made love in the car, beneath the staircase, or fondled in the driveway.”

- “Sometimes.. Frankie’s wino husband, would show up and fights would start.. poor bastard thrown out on his ass.”

- “..were a few nights I went to see R and she wasn’t there. ..where does she go?.. You don’t want to know, she said. ..happened that R turned tricks ..how she could pay for staying with F, and sometimes pay for her sisters habit. F had marks on her arms.. careful not to get popped because she didn’t want the children taken away. ..thought of R selling herself to other guys.. choked on me. ..R worked the Boulevard.. only a teenager.. wondered if S also sold her sex and if C knew. ..her too.. not only does C know, but he’s out there pimping for her. Are you fucking with me! I yelled. How come he never told me?.. We told him not to tell you [F said]. I started to feel tears.. She kissed me again. Told me how much she liked me.. led me into her bedroom and closed the door.”

- “..place had no electricity or gas.. Candles.. around.. table. Hypodermic needles, spoons,.. bags of powder.. 5 people.. 2 women.. dark circles beneath their eyes.. collapsed veins.. inside their arms. ..I fell in love with a prostitute.. tightened a belt around my biceps.. watched the needle enter a bulging vein.. watched the liquid get pushed into the bloodstream. ..sensation began.. glow.. spread throughout my body.. nothing like it, this rush.. new fraternity which crossed barrio and sex lines, this fellowship of la carga, so integral to “la vida loca””

- “During [school] lunch hour, we “worked” the neighborhood: breaking into the nearby fancy houses. E eventually got popped stealing a car.. ended up in youth camp.”

- “..who give a fuck..”

- “..could-give-a-fuck street dudes..”

- “..shit..”

- “..YY and D had chg-a-lugged several pints of tequila..”

- “Your on something.. seen it many times.. rest of us have needed to get high. Came across some good shit.. bit of la carga”

- At Vietnam war protest: “They had reds and we dropped a few. ..scored on some brew.. C and 8ball stole a case.. owner close[d] up shop.. crowd gathered.. shotgun pressed against my skull. Move or I’ll blow your fuckin’ head off, a sheriff’s deputy ordered.”

- “..hate this shit..”

- “..we kissed and kissed.. my hands groped her supple body.. her tongue.. inside.. my ear.. I.. pushed her down.. she followed willingly, eagerly.. moans and sighs.. My hand moved to the top of her pants.. pushed my hand through.. to the stem of her pleasure.. the silkiness of her vagina.. she squirmed and tightened and squeezed.. [she] exploded in a rush of orgasms..”

- “..feeling like shit..”

- “..kissed her.. felt her moan and squirm.. Where was [she]?.. in a darkened corner, making out with some other guy.. I wanted to kill someone.”

- “F.. killed himself last night.. 14-year old.. swinging from a pole in the closet.”

- “What the fuck you want?.. call us fuckin’ greasers.. Fuck ‘em.. get them white boys.. dude stepped onto the porch, cradling a shotgun; he fired and P.. some of the pellets in his face.. Dudes began to run.. don’t fuckin’ run.. Lomas never runs.. need a rifle.. .22 semi.. 2nd mistake was taking C from the Dukes.. my sister’s ex, a 13 year old.. massive biker stood in the yard.. I shot him - right in the ass..”

- “Lomas ain’t shit… Fuck you… they say she fucked around with some dude on her porch while her brothers were inside watching. ..whatever happened to her?.. knocked up --she’s living with.. C”

- “..bikers.. had no business fucking with us.”

- “I’m sick of this shit..”

- “..C’s body, wrapped in bloody blankets. ..she had been pumped full of pills and brutally raped.”

- “..she removed her bra from beneath her.. blouse. Her nipples made impressions.. my hand traveled through her skirt toward her crotch. I felt something. She.. pulled her legs through the underwear, which had a sanitary napkin stuck on the inside. ..a tinge of blood. ..not a good idea.. I said. Why?.. only blood - my blood - nothing wrong with it! ..I just never went all the way with a girl on her period before. ..She grabbed my hand and slipped my fingers through her vaginal lips. Then she showed me the soft red liquid which.. smeared the fingers. See, it’s nothing terrible!”

- “She told her father she’s having a baby.. He got so mad, he broke all her fingers.”

- “..deputy tackled MO in the living room… pulled his gun and fired at MO’s head, clipping his ear. ..mother screamed.. MI then jumped on the officer.. officer fired another shot.. striking MI.. mother fainted.. [MI] fell back onto sofa, blood oozing through fingers stretched across the abdomen.. deputies arrested everyone.. somebody pushed through the crowd.. MI is dead!… MI is dead.. just got a call.. Deputy.. now faced a murder charge. ..gunfire riddled the side of the [police car]. ..for weeks.. deputies blocked entrances and exits to the barrio.. sheriff’s helicopter crisscrossed the neighborhood.. powerful projectile struck the side of the helicopter.. group called the Chicano Liberation Front planted bombs in power stations and government buildings..”

- “.. unmarked car.. slowed.. 2 bullets burst out.. bodies of S and I lay across the lawn, killed instantly..”

- “..somebody passed me a bottle of.. wine.. Outside.. R walked 8ball around, who had overdosed on smack, so he wouldn’t pass out. ..before me lay the largest collection of weapons I had ever seen: shotguns, in different gauges; handguns from .22’s to 9mm’s; semi-automatic rifles with scopes, 30-30 and.. automatics - 16’s and all sorts of subs.. boxes.. with.. grenades.. most of it stolen from military armories.”

- “..fuckin’ walls.. history teacher.. called me a chola whore.. calling CC a chola whore..”

- “..short skirt out of which emerged some killer legs.. she wanted me.. was already seeing 2 girls who lived.. behind my brother[s].. house.. were runaways.. [R] took off her blouse. She had nothing underneath. ..I want to make love to you.. One day.. T said she was pregnant - and claimed it was my child! I was stunned. ..you should have an abortion.. got dead drunk.. T’s gone.. left last night.. may not be pregnant.. don’t know if she’s just playing games.. Shit, we have to find her.. never did find where T went. I never knew for sure if she had a child, and if so, if it was mine.”

- “..pulled out the gun and began shooting. Other dudes with him opened fire as well.. fell, got up and then fell again; he died there on the sidewalk…. somebody thrust a shotgun through a bedroom window and opened fire, striking T’s 13-year old brother in the head. Pellet holes and blood scattered on the far wall.”

- “..deputy punched the women in the face.. get off her! I yelled. ..Get the fuck out of here.. shouted an officer.. Her face smashed against the asphalt, bleeding.. deputies pounced on me.. blows of a blackjack.. threw me inside squad car.. hit me in stomach.. face.. I didn’t say anything. Not even fuck you.. fist smashed my eye.. blackjack into a rib. ..This time I faced hard-time prison for assaulting a police officer.”

- “..god-damn bitches treat you like shit.. All day they fuck with me!.. I’m suicidal. I tried to cut my wrists..”

- “Your only hope is to plea bargain. ..can’t. ..principle.. Fuck principle..”

- “Somebody passed around a Super Kool, a cigarette laced with “angel dust.” ..Fuck it..”

- “..handgun.. T pulled the trigger.. I fell.. crawled behind.. wall. They would come back.. if they knew I was alive..”

- “..jury found.. deputy responsible for MI’s death, innocent of all charges..”

- “The scourge of PCP - “angel dust” - had begun to grip.. [the] barrio. ..blabbering idiots.. torn mattresses where runaways hid to snort, shoot up or smoke “angel dust””

- “..police attacked students.. smearing the face of a pregnant girl into the ground..”

- “..P was found with a bullet hole through his head. ..murder was never solved.”

See www.classkc.org for excerpts

- Book is about a high school girl who is being stalked with notes, phone calls, etc. and is finally raped by her stalker, who is a classmate and her best friend’s boyfriend. While this book is not as explicit as some, it is often found used at younger grades/ages.

- On page 1 we find out the girl is having sex with her boyfriend: “..S and I would slip out to the.. cottage... How often? 10 times? 12? I don’t remember.. All our fantasies.. seemed to come true.. thought that making love was being in love.. Someone was watching us, maybe every time. ..we’d leave our clothes in a heap..”

- “The heads were at the top, running the Student Council.. smoking joints on the weekend..”

- “You’re still... Taking them. The pill..”

- “..local headquarters of the Planned Parenthood Organization. I’d paid a visit there.. just after my 16th birthday.”

- Gets 1st note on her school locker: “I’M WATCHING YOU, YOU--.. the words. All the things someone thought I was. And all the things someone planned to do to me, to make me do. Every perverted, sadistic, sick, and sickening ugly act. A twisted porno movie playing in somebody’s brain. ..at the bottom..: YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT. YOU’LL GET IT.”

- “One of the guys.. stepped out in front of me, cupped his hand, wiggling a finger. Hey momma, whatcher hurry? Want a little action? Wanna get it on?”

- 3 pages on how her mother found her birth control pills and questions her about them, where she got them, how long has she been on them, who else is on them, lady who worked at Planned Parenthood, doctor who gave her pelvic, etc.”

- “..stopped at [ice cream parlor].. gang of sweathogs.. flocked in.. eye-cutting sweet pot smell hung over them. They were all heads... ..waitress bawled.. Don’t smoke that junk in here. Cigarettes yes. Joints no. [they] greeted this.. with barrage of catcalls, mostly beginning with the word mother.. guys.. smoking their roaches down to hot husks of brown paper. ..[boys] hand.. trailing like a vine in under her [one of the sweathog girl’s] blouse.”

- Gets 2nd note on locker: “..YOU LITTLE... almost the same as the first.. He’d said it all before. ..same psycho plans..”

- The school assembles to watch a silent movie that has been recently rediscovered that stars in it the school’s now very elderly drama teacher. In it a thief chases her, struggles with her and rapes her. But while being raped she begins to enjoy it: “..girl.. clawed long black gashes in his back. His head buried in her breast, his hands wrenching away the.. sleeves from her arms. ..The maiden being ravished. Terror [is] gradually replaced by passion. Her eyes slowly closed.. A secret smile played across her lips.”

- She goes to school counselor about the 2nd note. Counselor says, “..it’s psychotic ..not just childish nastiness, it’s deeply disturbed ...authentic.”

- When babysitting for a neighbor, she opens door thinking it is her boyfriend who she called because she was scared. However it is P, her best friend’s boyfriend. He asks, “ARE YOU IN THE HOUSE ALONE?” and she realizes it was him all along. He proceeds to rape her: “..cheap little-- hanky-panky out at the lake with S [her boyfriend]. ..fairly disgusting.. Something ought to be done about girls like you... you tend to lower the tone. ..You’re.. the physical type. ..moving towards me.. you don’t save it all for [your boyfriend], do you? ..I planned all along to be sober for this evening.. been very patient in my planning.. lunged at me.. fell flat on my back.. he.. pinned both my wrists above my head with his hands. ..if you struggle, you might wish you hadn’t. Of course, if struggling turns you on, go right ahead. ..whispered in my ear,.. don’t want you to do anything you haven’t already done.. think of me as [your boyfriend]. He doesn’t go in for the rough stuff.. Let’s both enjoy this.. You’ve already lost what you’ve got to lose. ..I thought of the kids upstairs and how screaming would scare them. ..want me? Don’t you? I could have any girl I looked at.. he grabbed the front of my shirt and ripped it. ..Go for the eyes, [her] subconscious voice said again. ..I figured you wouldn’t have a bra on... He pulled my Levi’s down. I felt the floor freezing cold under me. ..he fumbled with his own belt..” She tries to grab fireplace poker. “[he] flattened himself on me.. his body slick with sweat. He slammed his forearm against my throat. ..my hand closed over [the poker handle]. Lie still.. he said in a soft dreamy voice or I’ll have to hurt you more than I’m planning to. I had 1 chance to.. hit him in the side of the head. I hope I kill him. ..but it only grazed his shoulder. he was up.. lightning moves.. twisted the poker out of my hand, looked down at me, surprised, even shocked.. The last thing I remember is the poker in [his] hand.. way his muscle rippled in his naked shoulder when he brought his arm back.. before he swung it at my temple.”

- She wakes up in hospital. Is given a pelvic exam, etc. that are clinically described. A “speculum’ is inserted to check for “traces of sperm.” A “pouch under the entrance of the uterus” is also checked for secretions and sperm. They determine “there was no tearing” and can’t be pregnant because the same doctor had prescribed her birth control pills which she was still taking. She is told to keep taking them even in hospital “until her cycle is complete. ..vaginal secretions... indicate numerous motile spermatazoa.” She is also tested for venereal disease. “..exam for syphilis was negative.. have to wait.. for the gonorrheal culture.” She says to her mother and the doctor she doesn’t have VD or at least is very unlikely. “It was a degenerate, Mother, but I’m pretty sure he isn’t diseased. Not that way. It was P. ...raped me.. sent me filthy.. notes.. called me on the phone.. spied on [my boyfriend] and me and followed us. ..tortured me for weeks... picked his time. And than he raped me.”

- Her identifying P causes shock and fuss. P is the only son of the richest family in the small town for generations. The police question her at the hospital implying she wasn’t really raped - that it perhaps was consensual, etc., etc. Her being on pills and having sexual experience work against her. Their lawyer says they have no chance of winning. Her mom and dad are distraught. Trial would be a public grilling. Defense would say it was consensual, that she was “provocative, immoral, even delinquent. ..law protect(s) rapist..”

- They decide to not place charges. After a while she is sent home. She tells mom if by chance she became pregnant she would have an abortion. Her rapist sends her a large flower arrangement. The school’s drama teacher comes to visit telling her there are all sorts of rumors about how she ended up in hospital and her condition. She tells the teacher that she was raped and who did it. The drama teacher says she was “ravished.. many times.. in films..” Teacher says she thought that “old stories of the maiden who resists man’s desire and her own, only to be liberated by what she cannot forestall” were harmless myths when she was young..” but now knows that they are “..not harmless when the myth fixes itself into a sick mind.”

- Her best friend [A] comes to visit. She tells her that P [her friend’s boyfriend], raped her. A calls her a “dirty liar” and doesn’t accept it.

- She goes back to school. The boy who raped her drives by her on the street and offers her a ride home. He denies raping her. Says, “I don’t have to.. rape.. anybody, and you, well, you’re pretty open-minded.” She throws rock at his car, denting it and breaking his windshield.

- The rapist rapes another girl at the high school. She was found in a ditch just barely alive. She lives and there is enough evidence this time that the police, etc know it is the same boy. Even the rapist’s girlfriend believes it was he, due to his unexplained absence during the time the rape took place. The girl [2nd victim] recovers but nobody ever sees her again. Her family moves. The first victim’s mom makes her first real estate sale selling the 2nd victim’s family house. The rapist disappears from town and rumors have him either in a hospital or off at a boarding school in Vermont.

- A collection of six short stories

- A BRIEF MOMENT IN THE LIFE OF ANGUS BETHUNE

- A story about a very fat boy who has been elected, as a joke, as the Senior Winter Ball King. He will have to dance with the Senior Winter Ball Queen who he has been in love with [from a distance] since kindergarten. His mom and dad are divorced. His mom remarried another woman and his dad remarried another man.

- “..Angus, the fat kid with perverted parents.. don’t.. spend all my life bitching about being [ugly], or about having parents a shade to the left of the middle on your normal bell-shaped sexual curve.. phantoms of sexual perversity.. point me out for public mockery.”

- “Granddad.. took me to San Francisco to see some gay people... it didn’t help much.. my parents.. are with only the person their with, and [San Francisco] was filled with people looking like they were headed for a.. leather swap meet.”

- “I don’t care who’s with who or what you do in the sack at night, I screamed [at parents].. Just don’t kiss in front of me!.. I like girls!.. [don’t want to see] boys kissing boys. [or] girls kissing girls!”

- Ball Queen tells him that she is bulemic. He says, “I’m a fat kid with faggot parents who’s been in therapy on and off for 18 years.”

- Ball Queen asks him to dance more after first dance and her boyfriend gets mad at her. “You bitch!.. You bitch!... You bitch.”

------------------------------------------------------
- THE PIN

- “..shitkicker boots..”

- “..great novel of the call girl who could command any price because of the size of her luscious breasts.. would be called ‘The Sale of Two--“

------------------------------------------------------
- THE OTHER PIN

- “..I’m in lust.. look at that.. If we had more woman like that in our lives, we wouldn’t be forced to subliminate our sexual desires rolling around on a.. mat with stinking, sweaty bodies of our same sex.”

- Talking about a boy who must wrestle a girl: “..double-breasted.. takedown. If he does it right he’ll end up on the bottom.. if she’s good, relax and enjoy it. If not, carry her all 3 rounds. Get the win and the goodies... get his varsity letter on the same night he loses his virginity..”

- “..grow up to be a lesbian..”

- “..bullshit..”

------------------------------------------------------
- GOIN’ FISHIN’

- Boy loses his whole family in boating wreck in which one of his classmates [drunk] smashed their boat. He is in age for 3 years at boy who did it. Boy who did it becomes self destructive and a drug addict living in park.

- “..out of your goddamn mind.”

- “Tough shit... Tough shit... You treated [him] like shit... [he] is shit.. That pussy call you up and tell you.. Your the pussy, L... [your dad would] call game on this cheap bullshit.. asshole..”

- “[we] drank all those beers.. out on the ice.. in your Jeepster.. drunk out of your mind. So were we. ..shithead..”

-----------------------------------------------------
- TELEPHONE MAN

- Story is about a slow [perhaps retarded] boy who is a racist, which he learned from his father. Lots of racial slurs including spic, beaner, chink and nigger [about 2 dozen times]. Also shit is used twice. A portion of the story is about a toilet incident.

- Boy wants biscuits and strawberry jam which his mom usually makes him. He eats Bisquick raw from box and also strawberry shampoo he finds in bathroom: “..in history when it hit.. rumbling inside of me.. had to get to the bathroom really quick.. feeling like a balloon.. wanted to save my clothes.. pants got stuck around my knees.. butt just turned into a cannon.. shooting biscuit stuff all over the room.. bathroom looked like a whipped Jell-O factory blew up in there.. curled up in the corner bare naked.. couldn’t tell if I was all shot out or.. just building up for more rounds.. already happened twice.. spray painted the bathroom out your butt with strawberry shampoo and Bisquick.” Boy gets him clothes from Lost and Found and he heads home. Gets beat up on the school steps by gang of “China kids” but is saved by a “big nigger” who beats up their leader and tells them not to pick on him. Gets on public bus. “..awful smell, like somebody hung a bunch of strawberries down in the sewer.. I wasn’t all done in that rest room.. getting beat up made me quit paying attention.. gone and messed up the sweats.. out of Lost and Found.. sure the people around me noticed.. looked at me.. [they] got up to stand near the back of the bus.”

----------------------------------------------------
- IN THE TIME I GET

- “..chickenshit..”

- Boy whose girlfriend recently died meets boy who is in advanced AIDS.

- “..AIDS isn’t something you just get, like flu. How you get it is the thing. ..homo. ..you stay as far away from faggots as you can.”

- “So what if this guy’s a faggot?”

- “..wondering what Roy Rogers would think of me being alone in a semi-dark bar with a man of questionable sexual preference. ..I’m dying in an ugly way.. ..would help to know.. How you got it,,, I’m gay. I got it by having anal intercourse with another man.. Would you rather I were an IV drug user? I hated to admit it, but yes. ..I’m.. scared.. couldn’t stand them looking at me like I was.. so dirty.”

- “..sliding for the last time into that pitch-black pit.. sucks all your energy dry.. open sores on your body..”

- “Something that made gay people like me? ..latent homosexuality.. are you afraid I’m going to make a move on you? ..I have AIDS.. sexual relations with anyone.. could kill them. I would never do that.”

- “..he might be grooming me to shoot him ..when the time came and he couldn’t stand it anymore. ..Jesus,.. shitty possibilities.” However the gun is really a camera that looks like a gun. “..Jesus Christ, it is.. people using the fact I don’t like to kill things to prove I was a faggot..”

- “..chickenshit..”

- “..[his] nephew is a faggot... faggot.. dumbshit... I warned you.. faggot.. sexual preference.. sexual preference.. stay away from him.. if C thought he was gay, then so did a lot of other guys, and I didn’t need everyone thinking that about me.”

- “AIDS didn’t tarry. ..answering machine.. no mistaking [his] voice. ..He did sound like what you think of as gay.”

- “.. shit in order..”

- He goes to visit him in hospital. Holds his and when asked. His friend comes buy and sees him holding it and “..I jerked my hand free.. but it was too late. C grimaced and shook his head and walked away.”

- “I only learned I was gay a couple of years ago.. now I’m almost gone.”

- D dies of AIDS

- Book is from the so-called “ghetto lit” genre, known for drugs, sex, violence, profanity, gangs, guns, prostitutes and murder. Book is about a girl’s clique, the “Pussy Pound” who use their bodies to get money, cars, drugs, and jewelry. Book is focused on the ghetto thug life with drugs, sex, murder, etc. Book has constant stream of profanity and sex. Excerpts below are only some of the controversial material in the book.

- Page 2 of the book starts in with oral sex, drugs and robbery: “..trickin’.. In broad daylight.. Ummmm, moaned the young hustler.. eyes rolling up in the back of his head.. Her mouth dulling his senses. He was a freak for oral sex.. M.. using her mouth as a sexual favor… had mastered the art of that shit… to support her.. habit.. her head moved slowly and deliberately.. deep throating him.. driving him crazy. Without breaking.. rhythm.. slid her free hand into her jacket.. replaced her warm mouth with cold steel razor.. Don’t move muthafucka!.. yanked his penis and applied pressure on him with the steel razor.” Her associates then rob him of money and drugs. “They ran this game all over.. used [her] as bait. ..releasing her iron grip on the boy’s penis…. backed up into the car..”

- Page 7, Conversation by the ‘Pussy Pound’ : “..this weeds the bomb.. making me horny.. wish I had that nigga who could really do me right.. weak ass niggas out here… ain’t that shit the truth.. don’t know why I fuck with that nigga.. money long, but his dick is short.. fat motherfucker.. if he wasn’t getting money, he’d never get no pussy.. think that nigga ain’t never had no pussy since pussy had him.. should see me faking it, while he hittin’ it. ooh, aah, don’t stop.. should get an oscar for the shit.. he just swear he be killin’ it.. a nigga could never be my man if he couldn’t fuck me right.. so called hustlin’ ass niggas is alike… fuck like.. race to see who cums first.. you know they always win.. bust one nut and it’s over for the night.. what about me motherfucker? I wanna cum too! But that’s alright.. getting mine on the side.. ain’t never had no dick till y’all had some dope dick.. nigga fuck you all night off that shit… why is these niggas tryin’ to front like they don’t eat pussy.. laughter.. giggles magnified their high.. say he’s too good with his hips to use his lips.. see him now, munchin’ on this fur burger.. behind closed doors.. You gotta beat ‘em off the pussy…no licky, licky, no sticky, sticky.. nigga need to know that shit.. pussy rules… tell all these niggas, eatin’ pussy ain’t nothin’.. part of sex.. acquired taste, like drinking beer, but better.”

- Girl and twin brothers in high school: “All [mom] was ever concerned with was which slut’s house did their father take them to… watching illegal drug activity… In school.. boys considered her a dick teaser.. one of the nicer labels.. spread rumor while fondling her.. his fingers.. smelled like fish.. she never let them go all the way she did play the finger game, rubbing genitals and grinding real hard.. bleachers, in school closets, and once even in the boys locker room in a bathroom stall.. twins dropped out.. jumped into game.. dad… gave them 2 ounces of raw dope..”

- “Nibbling and licking the insides of her thighs, he fingered her clit.. [she] was climbing the walls.. right time to enter her.. penetrated her raw.. [she] was a virgin.. excruciating pain shot straight to her stomach. In a missionary position.. tears.. pleaded for him to take it out, but her cries only excited him and he drove his manhood deeper inside her. It was tight as hell and he was loving every minute of it.. established rhythm and her pain turned to pleasure.. thrusting in and out, going around and around.. putting his thing down.. riding her gentle but rough.. If he did it right, he knew could always have her anytime, regardless of what he did.” She gets STD from him.

- “..hotel.. had sex with him, doing it only to spite T.. fucked him to get back at T.. fucking you should be a privilege.. paid privilege! Niggas is dying to get with you.. make them take care of you.”

- “..N finally gave him some.. was too good for him to handle. [he] ejaculated prematurely over and over again… taught her how to cut coke.. weigh drugs and bag it up ..baggin’ up coke for hours and hours at a time.”

- “..all these years that her mother had been shooting dope.. had never once overdosed. Now she was telling her [she had AIDS].”

- “..Pussy Pound… talk of the town, even in the joint. famous for fucking hustlers..”

- Typical profanity laced 3 sentence paragraph: “..fuck he didn’t. Mother fucker done robbed my stash and shit and you don’t fuckin’ no.. What the fuck do you know, motherfucker?”

- “..wanted to look at him in his eyes and see his fear. he wanted S to know why he was going to die.. wanted him to see his pain.. to die like his father had, shot dead like a dog in the street.”

- “…was living a foul life, doing any and everything except fucking and sucking dick for [drugs].”

- “This is from N pussy!.. blasting G’s brains to kingdom come.. lifeless head slowly tilted itself resting on the window which was covered in blood.”

- “..could see.. her round behind and perky breasts.. made his dick hard all over again.. You just gonna fuck me and leave.. ain’t even morning yet.. I’ll stay.. come to daddy, crawl… manhood stood at attention.. she looked up.. took his penis into her mouth.. working her mouth magic.. nothing B loved more than getting some brain.. licking and sucking on him, determined to make him cum in her mouth.. But.. he didn’t want to.. positioned [her] on her back.. N ain’t got nothing on you. You fuck me way better than him, she.. said.. B only slept with young girls… on the side, he would get his dick sucked by fiends.. never new what good pussy was.. used to blow jobs and quickies.. M.. went all out using every sex trick in the book.. was freak performing unspeakable sexual acts in unimaginable positions.. how to prolong his ejaculation in order for her to get her shit off first.. wanted him to master, snorting dope [to] fuck all night long.. try this.. Nigga, stop being a pussy.. this shit will make your dick stay hard all night.. you’re just a lil’ boy..” He tries it, a lot, pukes. “After you throw up, you’ll be ready to fuck all night long!.. heroin… thoughts of fucking M.. dick was rock hard… naked M, playing with herself.. I’m gonna wear this bitch out, he thought…”

- “..sure as there is a God in heaven, they fuckin’. Ain’t no 2 ways about this shit.. no female be drivin’ no nigga’s car unless they family or fuckin’. You know that shit, N. Don’t act like jail done made you confused, nigga!..”

- “Of all the motherfuckers.. you could have fucked.. you had to fuck with my man… you must be fuckin’ crazy. Bitch.. Both you whores is dead.”

- “M had to go.. served no purpose anymore.. the sex was sweet but fuck that… tossing her a bundle of dope.. she.. began.. to snort.. the pile began to disappear.. junkie bitch, B thought… waste of some really good pussy.. had to kill her… began to fondle her breasts.. let me sniff a lil’ more then I’ll take care of you, she [said].. went back to snorting.. B pulled out.. revolver.. placed the gun to the back of her head right behind her left ear.. she continued sniffing dope.. pulled the trigger killing her execution style.. limp and lifeless body crumpled to the floor.. he proceeded to ransack the apartment to make it look like a burglary..”

- “Can one of y’all hit me in the neck[with drug syringe]?.. either there or my pussy.. put this mother fucker up ya ass, if I got to said B.. crazy motherfucker was serious.. drew up 50cc.. injected the hypodermic needle into her jugular vein.. She blacked out… some good shit, said B… too strong for even experienced junkie..” They try to revive her but she dies. They then go to buy a lot more of the dope.

- “..T stroked furiously. Whose daddy bitch? he asked driving his manhood deeper and deeper inside her. You are… Don’t stop.. she said ready to cum all over him. T was in a sexual trance, humping away using long powerful strokes to pound her vagina.. harder, harder, ooh T, she said digging her nails into his back.. he wanted to cum with her, Cum for daddy, baby… exploding like a broken dam inside her.. claw his back till she drew blood.. pleasure and pain simultaneously and he loved it.. her shapely as cheeks sway side to side as she hurried to the bathroom… Too bad, she’s a hoe, T thought.. just met her tonight and within a few hours he was runnin’ up her.. on the way over to the hotel he had her performing oral sex on him as he drove.”

- “M developed an insatiable appetite for dope.. turned into a nymphomaniac.. hustlers lining up to take advantage of her.. got her high and ran trains on her.. videotaped.. willingly participating in a threesome involving another female and a male.. dope whore.”

- “T loved.. strip joints.. had every stripper that worked their at least twice.. rates varied.. being.. regular.. got a discount.. reasoned, if I could get what I needed at home, I wouldn’t have to creep around. S refused to perform oral sex on him.. was mandatory shit for T.. been together for 4 years and it was still same ol’ shit in the bedroom.”

- Sex, anal rape and brutal beating: “B’s first piece of pussy in 4 years [due to jail].. drove his well-endowed manhood deeper into her.. bang her head up against the headboard with each thrust. pinching her nipples.. she grimaced in pain.. flipped her over and penetrated her from the back, doggy style.. she felt nothing… just brute force.. praying that he’d hurry up and cum.. humping away like a crazed dog in heat.. smacked her ass cheeks so hard.. caused [her] to wince.. turned him on so much.. hit her harder… pulled his penis out of her vagina.. slammed it into her anus.. she tried to get his dick out of her asshole.. take it out! take it out! she screamed, her cries exciting him more.. applying his full body weight.. began to hump his body into hers.. pain and agony.. she screamed.. pinned her down and placed her in a choke hold.. was all his.. pain.. tears.. B was stretching her asshole wider and wider.. enjoying himself.. screams of agony.. foul stench began to pollute the air… blood ripping from her insides.. this was payback.. demoralize her.. humiliate her.. teach her.. lesson.. Still violating N’s rectum, B pounded away till he was on the verge of exploding.. withdrew his feces coated penis and came all over her butt.. she.. made a mad dash for the bathroom.. had to shit so bad.. shit hit the water like a ton of bricks.. raw and sore, very sore and bleeding.. N took a hot shower.. B.. wiping the shit off his dick with her blouse.. chuckled.. nothing but a whore.. gonna treat her like one.. started doubling up wire hangers.. about to bring the pain.. he.. cold cocked her.. rained blows from every angle on every part of her body.. brought the wire hangers down so hard.. WHACK! WHACK! WHACK!.. blood curdling screams.. only excited B beat her until he drew blood.. welts.. across her face, neck, chest, back, thighs, buttocks, and legs.. beat and stomped.. she lost consciousness.. lashed her again and again.. threw down his bloody weapon and unzipped his pants. pulling out his penis, he urinated on her head.. after that.. continued to methodically beat her..”

- “We used to fuck 3 or 4 times a day…Now.. ain’t even 3 or 4 times a week.. I know you fucking.. you love pussy, you gots to be.”

- Inside front jacket indicates for ages 14 and up. Book is about C, a high school boy. Dad left his mom when he was born. Mom drank herself to death. C is being raised by T, his older brother, who is a homosexual. After being suspended for a fight he becomes friends with B, a rich boy who drives a Corvette and hates his parents. The f-word is used 29 times, the s-word 43 times, a## or a##hole 25 times, t#ts 2 times, b###ard 3 times, b###h 3 times, and GD 11 times.

- “..she doesn’t dress like a teacher.. blouse is loose fitting.. not buttoned all the way.. can almost see some cleavage.. Once you’ve noticed somebody’s tits, it’s hard to keep your eyes away.. Tits are like magnets..”

- “..asshole.. asshole.. I don’t have anything against drinking.. [or] getting drunk.. my mom died from it. ..couldn’t eat anymore; she just drank.. dying.. more and more yellow.. whites of her eyes were yellow.. house started smelling like death.. So the only time he’s not an asshole is when he’s drunk… Yeah..”

- “His family’s starting to sound like a pain in the ass. ..picks up phone and dials. ..Mom?.. Fine. Yeah. Yes ma’am. Click. Stupid bitch”

- “[teacher is] wearing jea